Quick ‘n’ Dirty Music News: 09.26.08

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 09.26.2008

Mitch and Brittany bring you Paul McCartney’s trip to the Holy Land, Britney and Courtney Love’s latest drama, Bette Midler busting on Madonna, the Travis Barker plane crash and an alarming eye witness, Rock Hall rumblings, George Michael did it again, Kanye West stuff and more, plus chart news and Kat DeLuna may not know “The Star Spangled Banner”, but she’s our Piece Of The Week!



STAND BY…FOR NEWS!

All news items are from 411 Music's newswire:

Brittany's Dirty News

Hello, this is another installment of the Quick N' Dirty news with your new favorite contributor and best friend, Brittany.

I hope you guys had a good week and didn't go faith bashing while being away from 411. That Mitch is such a bad influence.

Anywho, lets get on with the news shall we?

Sir Paul McCartney was afraid for his life when he got death threats by Israelis before his show in Tel Aviv, so he has brought 5,000 security guards along with him.

No, that is not a typo. 5,000. Five Thousand.

I half believe the rumors that Paul is already dead and this "Paul" is an impostor.

Ok, maybe I don't but what a movie that would be!

His show comes more than 40 years after the country banned The Beatles fearing they would corrupt its young people.

Ah, the joys of censorship.

Britney Spears decided to sell her house to find somewhere more private to raise her kids.

I don't care how "normal" Britney might be coming off as lately, but you know she is utterly insane. I'm surprised her coke addiction hasn't made her nose fall off, or that she hasn't blown her head off yet


I have a new found respect for Bette Midler after this:


If you don't know, she is spoofing the fuck out of this:


Why would Madonna be cleaning a set? What a phony.

This is the same bitch who refuses to be in air conditioning because it might hurt her vocal chords, has a new accent every time she makes an appearance, and slept her way to the top. Give me a break.

Don't get me wrong, I'm down for Madonna, but come on man…come on.

Travis Barker and DJ AM are recovering from a plane clash in South Carolina, everyone in the plane died except the celebrities. Coincidence?

Barker has had a few surgeries for burns and such, and fortunately they will both fully recover.

If you can clean, cook, and kill then you are hired! Courtney Love is looking for a housekeeper on Myspace.

(how awesome is that?)

Check this out:

Posting on her blog, she wrote: "I know this is weird but the agencies suck and I'm sick of pigs who steal. It's as simple as that, so fuck it - why not try MySpace?"

Prospective candidates should live near Malibu, be "insanely clean" and be "someone who really wants to get into the film business...And it's very good money.".

Oh, and she also forget to mention that all those pigs who stole from her got hit by a train or commited suicide.

Not only is there very good money, but also a free crack addiction for those qualified.


Remember The Kinks?

Of course you do, their awesome. Well, The Kinks are thinking about regrouping and putting out some new material. YES!

Singer Ray Davies explains that the reunion is based on the health of his brother Dave, who suffered from a stroke in June of 2004.

Let's hope he gets better so we can hear some updated Kinks.

Hopefully it won't be like the newly reunited New Kids On The Block. Ugh.

Peace, Love, and Aural sex.

Mitch's Quick News

The big news from this weekend is that ex-blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and cohort DJ AM were involved in a plane crash over the weekend. The pair, along with two other passengers and two pilots, was aboard a Learjet that crashed upon take-off in South Carolina Friday night. Barker and AM had just played an outdoor show in Columbia and were headed back to California.

Sadly, both pilots and the other two passengers (both associates of Barker) were killed upon impact or by a fire which consumed the jet before it crashed. Barker and AM both escaped the wreckage and were spotted by a local South Carolinan as they attempted to shed their clothes, which were on fire. The airliner apparently crashed just away from the runway, near a close by highway.

Both AM and Barker were badly burned (Barker's lower half and AM's torso and head), but are expected to make a full recovery. We at the QnD truly wish them a speedy one.

Luckily, the QnD has an interview with the South Carolinan witness who first arrived on the scene.

QnD EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE GUY WHO WITNESSED THE TRAVIS BARKER PLANE CRASH

QnD: Sir, take us through a little of what happened that night.

Witness: Well, I was driving back from my cousin's. Me and him were working out a trade with a friend of his from the gas station to where I'd get his '79 Dodge Pick-Up and he'd get my old Remington 870 shotgun I got off my daddy before he died and a night with my daughter. The deal went bad when the guy realized it was my daughter's time of the month.

QnD: That's terrible, but how about some details about arriving at the crash site.

Witness: Well, I was driving down ol' Route 11 when I heard a purty loud noise. I just reckoned it was one of those planes backfiring. I don't know if that's possible, but my pickup does it all the time. Figured that, as loud as that sumbitch is, a plane would be probably a lot louder. Then I turned ol' Johnson's curve and saw the blaze. At first, I didn't know what to think. The light from the fire was blinding as a hangover and all I could see was this big, shiny metal hulk. At that point, I was dead sure it was aliens. Having seen this scenario played out on the TV several times, I went ahead and took off my pants. I figured if I was gonna get probed, it'd be best not to fight it. Plus, I really needed to get home.

QnD: And at that point you saw the two survivors?

Witness: That's right. They were stumbling around just away from the craft, smoke coming off of them. I zipped back up and got out of the truck, kind of hesitant, seeing as how they could have just as well have been aliens from the UFO. At that point, I realized that they were undressing. This seemed strange to me. Then I noticed all of their tattoos. Aliens or not, if I've learned one thing in this life it's that tattoos means queers. It was then that I grabbed my Remington and approached with caution.

QnD: But then you realized that the two needed help?

Witness: Hell no. Once I figured out that it was a crashed plane and not aliens, I dialed 911 real quick for backup. For all I knew it could've been a whole plane full of queers coming after me and I'd only brought so much ammo.

QnD: Heroic.

Onto more news…

Led Zeppelin rumors are saying they could be touring without Robert Plant if the frontman doesn't get his shit together. The band would instead draft a new vocalist, much the way that Queen has done with Paul Rodgers. So does that make Allison Krauss AIDS?

Stuck Mojo will release a new album in November. I could have sworn that Stuck Mojo was involved with that WWF Full Metal CD all those years ago, but Wikipedia tells me it was members of Anthrax, Savatage, Type O Negative and Overkill. I remember cruising my high school parking lot blaring Diesel's theme music thinking I was cool as shit.

Please forget that I shared that.

Metallica, Run-D.M.C., the Stooges, Jeff Beck, Chic, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials, War and Bobby Womack are all on the voting ballot for the 2008 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Only five will be chosen.

For those unfamiliar, Run-D.M.C. are actually the only new band on this year's list. Metallica was actually passed up last year as they didn't make the short list. I think that's a good thing for the band at least, seeing as how this year finds them on much stronger ground. An HOF nod last year could have been seen as putting the group out to pasture.

This is the SEVENTH time on the ballot for The Stooges. They didn't make the short list last year. Chic was actually on the list last year but got passed over in the final vote.

Jeff Beck has been eligible for the last 16 years, but this is his first time making the list. Stevie Ray Vaughan was also eligible this year, but was snubbed. I guess there's only room for one guitar hero? Why go with Beck after all these years when SRV is such an obvious new choice?

Other first time nominees are War ("Low Rider" – been eligible for 12 years) and Little Anthony & The Imperials ("Tears On My Pillow" – eligible since the first year of the Rock Hall).

This is Wanda Jackson's second time being nominated. She's a 50's rock and roller who counts Elvis Costello and Elvis Presley amongst her fans. Bobby Womack (R*B singer/songwriter/guitarist from the 50's) has been nominated six times now.

More examples of the Rock Hall having their head up their ass. Look at Beck, Run-D.M.C. and the Stooges (finally) being shoe ins. I could see Metallica getting shot down, as the Hall has always sucked with metal. Look at how long Black Sabbath sat on the shelf.

Everyone else – seriously, do you really care?

George Michael was arrested in a public bathroom near London last weekend and charged with possession of crack and marijuana. This prompted a quick apology to his fans.

If you're counting, this is Michaels' fourth known arrest. Why isn't George Michael in jail? Sure, it might be a little harder to get drugs, but at least jail cells have a padded bed for you to kneel on while sucking a guy off. Not to mention a handy toilet if he's a spitter.


Eminem talked this week about working on a new album. I don't have the exact quote, but it read something like this:

"I'm concentrating on my own [junk] right now — just banging out [loads]. The more I keep producing, the better it seems I get. I start [stroking] stuff, learning […] the back of my hands."

Though they have since denied it, Miley Cyrus (and dad Billy Ray) was reportedly trying to get fired from "Hannah Montana", believing there is more to be made in Miley's singing career. They've been reportedly complaining a lot and showing up late to the set.

Miley – if you're looking to get fired, just give me a call. I've got an idea for a tape that would make Disney lose your number in about 5 minutes.

OK – 2 minutes.

50 Cent and Kanye West both announced albums scheduled to release in December this week. Kanye then moved his up to November. Why isn't sure, but Kanye was seen the next day screaming and running from his burning apartment building.


Speaking of Kanye, he's supposedly working with Comedy Central on a new series that Kanye is describing as "hip-hop meets the Muppets". An early concept drawing is below.


Marilyn Manson is going to be working with Ne-Yo. I think I found Ben's next Weekly WTF.

The Pretenders are releasing their new album in an eco-friendly package that, when planted, will grow a plant. So don't feel bad about throwing that fucker away.

Clay Aiken is gay. Apparently nothing short of photos of anal insertion would make America believe it. Check out this week's People Magazine.

Pete Wentz is worried that his new baby won't like his music. Meanwhile, I'm worried that my future child will.

Chris Cornell is touring with Timbaland. What the fuck is going on here?!?!?

And finally, Courtney Love has turned to MySpace to find a new housekeeper who won't steal from her. Maybe she should try keeping a closer eye on her shit? Just saying…

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MITCH'S TOP 10
1983

I come up with this new feature a while back where I'm going to be looking at my favorite albums and songs from each year, beginning with 1979, the year I was born.

It's pretty straight forward – I'll pick my Top 10 singles and Top 5 albums of that year. If I miss anything important, let me know!

Mitch's Top 10 Singles Of 1983
1	Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble	"Pride & Joy"
2	The Police	"Every Breath You Take"
3	George Strait	"Amarillo By Morning"
4	John Anderson	"Swingin'"
5	Don Henley	"Dirty Laundry"
6	Def Leppard	"Rock Of Ages"
7	Willie Nelson & Merle Haggard	"Pancho & Lefty"
8	Talking Heads	"Burning Down The House"
9	Elvis Costello & The Attractions	"Everyday I Write The Book"
10	Prince	"1999"

Mitch's Top 5 Albums Of 1983
1	Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble	Texas Flood
2	Metallica	Kill ‘Em All
3	Huey Lewis & The News	Sports
4	ZZ Top	Eliminator
5	Def Leppard	Pyromania

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NEW RELEASES FOR SEPTEMBER 30, 2008

WHAT EVERYONE WILL BUY:

T.I. - Paper Trail - This album is going to be huge, especially boasting a fresh #1 hit in "Whatever You Like" (my wife says she likes this song's message). T.I. is obviously pretty sure on this album, seeing as how half of the tracks have already been released as singles. I'm a big T.I. fan, but T.I. Vs. T.I.P. was a little too laid back for me. With some great new singles and T.I. looking at a year in jail soon, Paper Trail looks to have a rougher edge. Look for this to be one of the Top 5 biggest weeks of the year.

WHAT WILL BE NUMBER ONE:
Well, I said last week that this week would be a big cleaning out week, and boy was it. Five new albums in the Top 10. But none of them could knock off Metallica, who managed to move another 330,000 copies in their first full week. Ne-Yo did better than I figured, but still had to settle for #2 with 250k. Nelly's #3 with 84k was downright embarrassing. It wasn't that long ago the guy was all over the radio. I called the Buckcherry Top 10 debut, but who would have guessed that Darius Rucker would be so strong? I had no idea his new single was #1 at Country radio. I also overlooked DJ Khaled, instead opting for Raphael Saadiq, who topped out at #19.

This week, look for the Pussycat Dolls to knock Metallica off their perch (keeping it nice and warm for T.I. next week). Jazmine Sullivan has enough of a buzz to get some Top 10 love too. On the rock side of things, look for Kings Of Leon to make a stab at the Top 10. They're huge in the UK, but that doesn't mean shit here in the land of around 50% of the world's music market. TV On The Radio has a new record coming, too, but it's going to be a tough break in for the group to get in the upper set.

WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY:

There's always something worth buying in the New Release section. Here are Mitch's picks:

James Taylor - Covers - If I hadn't heard this record already, I'd be really excited. As it stands, Mrs. Michaels summed it up best by saying "it sounds like everything else he's done". Yet, somehow, Taylor's covers just don't seem his own. Or maybe that Dixie Chicks cover just left a bad taste in my mouth. I'll give it another spin.

Ben Folds - Way To Normal - Whether with his old band Ben Folds Five or solo, Folds has never released a bad album in my opinion. Songs For Silverman grew on me and I look for Way To Normal to be another introspective piano pop masterpiece.

James Morrison - Songs For You, Truths For Me - Sure, it would be easy to lump James Morrison in with other Brit pop rockers like James Blunt, but Morrison just has that blue-eyed soul that is lacking in the other guys. Morrison's debut was a dark horse favorite of mine from 2007.

WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?

Billboard has about a million charts, so each week I'm gonna round up the #1s from each format. That way, no matter WHAT station you flip to when not using your presets, you'll be aware of what you might hear. Newly crowned #1s are in bold:

CHART	SINGLE	WEEKS
POP
HOT 100	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	7
HOT 100 AIRPLAY	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	8
POP 100	Rihanna – "Disturbia"	16
POP 100 AIRPLAY	Ne-Yo – "Closer"	16
MAINSTREAM TOP 40	Rihanna – "Disturbia"	14
HOT SINGLES SALES	Jack's Mannequin– "Cell Phone"	2
BUBBLING UNDER HOT 100 SINGLES	Chuck Wicks – "All I Ever Wanted"	6
DIGITAL
HOT DIGITAL SONGS	Pink – "So What"	5
HOT DIGITAL TRACKS	Pink – "So What"	5
HOT RINGTONES	Grupo Montez De Durango – "Adios Amor Te Vas"	87
R&B/HIP HOP
HOT R&B/HIP HOP AIRPLAY	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	10
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SONGS	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	10
HOT RAP TRACKS	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	9
MAINSTREAM R&B/HIP-HOP	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	9
HOT ADULT R&B AIRPLAY	Eric Benet – "You're The Only One"	21
RHYTHMIC TOP 40	T.I. – "Whatever You Like"	N/A
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SINGLES SALES	K'Jon – "On The Ocean"	3
COUNTRY
HOT COUNTRY SONGS	Darius Rucker – "Don't Think I Don't Think About It"	23
ROCK
HOT MAINSTREAM ROCK TRACKS	Theory Of A Deadman – "Bad Girlfriend"	17
TRIPLE A	Counting Crows – "Come Around"	14
HOT MODERN ROCK TRACKS	The Offspring – "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid"	9
ADULT CONTEMPORARY
HOT ADULT TOP 40 TRACKS	Coldplay – "Viva La Vida"	17
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY TRACKS	Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"	24
CHRISTIAN
HOT CHRISTIAN SONGS	Brandon Heath – "Give Me Your Eyes"	15
HOT CHRISTIAN ADULT CONTEMPORARY	Brandon Heath – "Give Me Your Eyes"	15
DANCE
HOT DANCE CLUB PLAY	Moby – "I Love To Move In Here"	9
HOT DANCE AIRPLAY	Rihanna – "Disturbia"	9
HOT DANCE SINGLES SALES	M.I.A. – "Paper Planes"	28
INTERNATIONAL
HOT LATIN SONGS	Luis Fonsi – "No Me Doy Por Vencido"	12
EUROPEAN HOT 100 SINGLES	Katy Perry – "I Kissed A Girl"	9
EURO DIGITAL SONGS	Katy Perry – "I Kissed A Girl"	10
CANADIAN HOT 100	Pink – "So What"	5
JAPAN HOT 100	Angela Aki – "Tegami Haikei Juugo No Kimihe"	0
RECURRENTS
HOT 100 RECURRENT AIRPLAY	Keyshia Cole – "Heaven Sent"	1
HOT SINGLES RECURRENTS	3 Doors Down – "It's Not My Time"	2
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENT AIRPLAY	Ne-Yo – "Closer"	3
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENTS	Ne-Yo – "Closer"	3
HOT COUNTRY RECURRENTS	Keith Anderson – "I Still Miss You"	2
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY RECURRENTS	Jordin Sparks – "Tattoo"	2

MUSICAL PIECE OF THE WEEK

Not a lot of hot babe news this week, but at the end of last week, sexy Kat DeLuna took a beating from a Dallas, Texas crowd while performing the National Anthem for a Monday Night Football game. Kat forgot the words in mid-song and replaced them with some of her own. I guess she just hoped no one would be paying attention. This drew a negative response that ended in full on boos thanks to some weird body movements. Sadly, the video is now big viral hit on the net. Since Kat could use some cheering up I'm sure, she gets the honor of being the latest hottie du jour. So for the chick that Runs The Show and rarely Whines Up, Kat DeLuna is our sexy Piece Of The Week.











THE END

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Keep your ears to the ground.