Face Off 11.04.08: Wherein Mike and Brandy Pontificate on Chinese Democracy and the Evils of Corn Syrup
Posted by Michael Adler on 11.04.2008
Pour yourself a cold, cold Dr. Pepper and enjoy our column...Also starring Brandy Hunt. She's awesome.
Hey all. Thanks for reading last week's column, and if you're back for more, well great. This week:
vs.
Mike Begins:: This week we're not only talking music, but soda also. What else? Chinese Democracy, and Dr. Pepper's gamble that didn't pay off. Or did it? For those who don't know, Dr. Pepper offered a free can of Dr. Pepper to EVERYBODY in the country if Chinese Democracy came out within 2008. The album is set to be released on November 23, 2008. Oops.
So let's discuss what will be better: That can of Dr. Pepper, or the Guns n' Roses album itself? First I'll tackle the soda. I'm a little bit of a foodie, so most mass market sodas don't do it for me. Coke, Pepsi, Sprite all taste like overly sweet tooth decaying puddles of filth to me, but Dr. Pepper I kind of like. Don't get me wrong, it's not spectacular, but it's got a little something extra. I don't believe for a second it has 23 flavors in it. I think it has three: Corn Syrup, Vanillin, and artificial cherry flavor, but it's still kind of distinctive. I will gladly accept my free can.
Chinese Democracy, 14 years in the making certainly is not soda. It's music, and I think in the end I'd take it over the can of soda. Sure, it's not going to live up to the hype per se. 14 years of tinkering has led to an overproduced pile of sugary rock mush. But it probably doesn't have artificial flavors. And I think it's going to have some bright spots. "Madagascar", "Better", and "IRS" are pretty awesome. "Shackler's Revenge" not so much. Also, I had the pleasure of seeing Axl and company in concert two summers ago and he still sounds awesome, so all hope is not lost.
Before I turn this over to Brandy, I do just want to touch on my first impression of the lead single, the eponymous "Chinese Democracy." It's got a bit of a long intro. Some odd laughing and screeching…and then….and then….HOLY CRAP, IT'S THE BEVERLY HILLS 90210 INTRO! But once it gets going it's a pretty awesome song. Not quite "Welcome to the Jungle", but what is?
Brandy? Your take? Soda or Axl?
Brandy begs to differ: Well honestly I hadn't heard about this deal Dr. Pepper made but it really is interesting. So while I love a free soda, I'd have to go with Axl on this one. I mean Dr. Pepper is a good soda, and I have to agree I don't think there are 23 flavors in it, but I prefer it over pepsi, mountain dew or stuff like that. Also, I think that Dr. Pepper has shot themselves in the foot with this one because if everyone really wanted their free soda, that is a LOT of money they've put down the drain, when in today's economy every penny counts. I realistically doubt they'll give a free soda to EVERYONE but every 50 cents (or what ever it is now to buy just a can of soda) they pretty much give out to everyone is not always the 50 cents (or what ever) that they are going to make back. Everyone's cutting costs these days, and well, who can afford to pay almost 4 dollars for a case of soda when you can get a generic brand that tastes mostly like the original for way cheaper?
As for Guns n' Roses, I've always been a fan of them growing up and hearing about this album finally coming out has me pretty excited. I have to agree though that "Chinese Democracy" does eventually sound like 90210, but once you get past that craziness it sounds like the cd is going to be awesome. The vocals and lyrics seem strong and besides the screeching/90210 theme music that starts it, the song has decent beats to it. It's a catchy song that is a good, yet different, choice and it will probably pay off in the end. "Oh My God" is an interesting song with good lyrics and typical Guns n' Roses sound to it, while "Madagascar" and "The Blues" are powerful ballads that they are known to rock at doing. "Better" is starting to become one of my favorite songs off of the album already. The opening to it is good and it's just a good song all around; no complaints on it. I have to disagree about "IRS" being a decent song: to me it just didn't seem like it was all there on this track. Also, I think "Shackler's Revenge" is an okay song...sure it's nothing spectacular but I like it, and I can see it being used on a video game of some sort in the future.
As we've only gotten a handful of songs off the album available right now, it really is a guessing game at which is going to be better....Guns n' Roses or the free can of soda. The album could be amazing and blow us all away, but then it could also bomb and not live up to what we all thought it was going to be like. Either way you can't lose with a free can of soda.
Mike begs to differ upon Brandy's begging of difference: Worry not Brandy, Dr. Pepper probably won't lose that much money. I guess I should've clarified. You have to sign on to the Dr. Pepper website on November 23, the day Chinese Democracy is released, to get a coupon mailed to you. And really, seeing as how soda's an extremely addicting substance, it might work out for Dr. Pepper. Chances are if you've never had a Dr. Pepper before, and you redeem the free Dr. Pepper, they'll have another life long customer. Also, conversely, never underestimate the laziness of the average American consumer. I'm going to guess there'll be a noticeable amount of Dr. Pepper moved over this deal, but probably not a devastating loss for the company.
I would again argue though that Dr. Pepper really isn't a good soda. It's no Boylan's. And Mountain Dew is just vile, so at least you prefer Dr. Pepper over that.
But onward to the music. I agree "Better" is awesome. I saw them do it live, and it was quite an experience. Shackler's revenge I'm going to have to disagree with you a little and go extreme: Should've been left off the album, or remixed at the very least. It sounds a little generic. Guns 'N Roses should sound anything but generic, regardless of the band's line up. I guess the question to answer though, was it worth a 14 year wait? My simple answer is upon a little more thought...not realllly. Sure, like I said I enjoyed the songs, but I wasn't blown away by them. Off the top of my head if I'm going to wait 14 years, I guess I'd like something closer to the progression of U2's War to Joshua Tree. Obviously, not a 14 year wait between those two, but hopefully you get the idea.
Brandy, upon further thought, and moving soda out of the picture, is this the album you wanted after 14 years?
Brandy begs to differ upon my difference of her original begging of difference: Well now that it's further explained it makes more sense. Also, it sounds like a win win situation for Dr. Pepper. I agree that it will probably get more sales that way especially on the weeks that they are running sales on soda In today's economy, anyway, to make money is a good thing. Yeah mountain dew is not that great, but I grew up drinking it pretty much way more than needed up until 2004. Now I'm all about the darker colored sodas.
Also I don't think that anything, music wise, is going to be worth a 14 year wait. That is A LOT of pressure to make a kick ass cd and usually with that kind of pressure no matter WHO the artist is, they are set up to fail. I see the point your talking about with "Shackler's revenge", and wel,l it's an agree to disagree situation at it's best I guess. I agree though that after a 14 year wait and what seems to be huge hype for this album, they can't afford to sound generically put together. While I agree that a few of the songs we've heard, like "Shackler's Revenge" or "IRS", doesn't seem to have a place on the album, I think that it will sell decently as everyone is looking forward to seeing if they can live up to the hype they've made for the album. Well, we seem to disagree on some of the songs, but it seems we are in agreement that this doesn't seem to live up to the hype that was created with the 14 year wait of their newest album.
Stephen Adler (no relation) says finish this so he can get to bed: Looks like Brandy's a little more optimistic about the album, and has less snobby taste in soda. Thanks for spending some time with us, and join us next week when we discuss Black Kids: Obnoxious Indie group, or urban menace?
Mike Begins:: This week we're not only talking music, but soda also. What else? Chinese Democracy, and Dr. Pepper's gamble that didn't pay off. Or did it? For those who don't know, Dr. Pepper offered a free can of Dr. Pepper to EVERYBODY in the country if Chinese Democracy came out within 2008. The album is set to be released on November 23, 2008. Oops.
Brandy begs to differ: Well honestly I hadn't heard about this deal Dr. Pepper made but it really is interesting. So while I love a free soda, I'd have to go with Axl on this one. I mean Dr. Pepper is a good soda, and I have to agree I don't think there are 23 flavors in it, but I prefer it over pepsi, mountain dew or stuff like that. Also, I think that Dr. Pepper has shot themselves in the foot with this one because if everyone really wanted their free soda, that is a LOT of money they've put down the drain, when in today's economy every penny counts. I realistically doubt they'll give a free soda to EVERYONE but every 50 cents (or what ever it is now to buy just a can of soda) they pretty much give out to everyone is not always the 50 cents (or what ever) that they are going to make back. Everyone's cutting costs these days, and well, who can afford to pay almost 4 dollars for a case of soda when you can get a generic brand that tastes mostly like the original for way cheaper?
