[Ben Czajkowski]
The holidays are a time for family, fun, and most importantly food. I have few pleasures in life; fortunately for me, I get to put two of them together in this list: music and food. There were a lot of tracks that came to my mind when I put this list together, so I randomly picked a few.
Honorable Mentions: 50 Cent - "Candy Shop", Weird Al - "Lasagna", Nobuo Uematsu – "Underneath the Rotting Pizza", Jack Johnson – "Banana Pancakes", "Bananas In Pajamas" Theme Song, "Strawberry Shortcake" Theme Song
5. Tenacious D – "Kielbasa": I'm not a huge fan of this group, but being polish, I've grown up on the deliciousness of kielbasa, so this song has a special place in my heart. If you've never had had kielbasa before, you should check it out.
4. Adam Sandler – "Thanksgiving Song": I don't know what to say about this one, other than delicious.
White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose…
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster…
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother likes to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye
3. Buzz Poets – "Lemonade": I think that many of you will have never heard this song or even heard of this group. They were a local band, specific to Western Pennsylvania. Anyway, they put out this tune like ten years ago, and it's an awesome track about little kids having fun. The chorus ends with: "I'm sipping lemonade!", a common drink for children.
2. Don McLean – "American Pie": No, the song is not about pie, but pie is my favorite dessert; with the holiday season upon us, this is in the forefront of my mind. Can't help but mention this amazing, American classic about the death of Buddy Holly. Can't wait to go home for some delicious homemade pie…
1. BareNaked Ladies – "One Week": Possibly the biggest cult-followed band to ever venture south of the Canadian border, Barenaked Ladies dropped this weird-ass bomb that broke the mainstream. In the nonsensical lyrics: I summon fish to the dish/although I like the chalet Swiss/I like the sushi/ cause it's never touched a frying pan/Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes…Never made much sense to me, but this is the lyric that inspired me to use this topic, this week.
[Paul Hollingsworth]
Honorable Mentions:
Warrant - "Cherry Pie", Rolling Stones - "Brown Sugar", Prince - "Starfish & Coffee", The Beatles - "Savoy Truffle", The Greatful Dead - "Sugar Magnolia"
5. Pink Floyd - "Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)": If you don't eat yer meat you can't have any pudding/How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat? Music often tries to answer the big questions like "What's the meaning of life?", "Is there a God?" and "Why am I here?" Pink Floyd, being Pink Floyd, answer all of these questions in two swift, sharp lines spoken at the end of this song by a certain teacher. Everybody likes pudding, right?
4. Kiss - "Lick It Up": Life is such a treat/and its time you taste it/There aren't a reason on earth to waste it/ It ain't a crime to be good to yourself/ Lick it up/lick it up/It's only right now. Some astute commenter will probably know the full story, but I'm thinking this song is probably not talking about a Chinese restaurant buffet or the latest offerings at the corner Baskin-Robbins. I could be wrong however, as it looks like Gene's demon costume is fitting ever-tighter.
3. Rufus Wainwright - "Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk": It was very nice of Mr. Wainwright to immortalize my weekend breakfast of choice. The song begins with this nice little slice of ennui and self reflection: cigarettes and chocolate milk/these are just a couple of my cravings/everything it seems i like's a little bit stronger/a little bit thicker/a little bit harmful for me.
2. Booker T & The MGs - "Green Onions": No lyrics to this one, just pure musical awesomeness. Goes good with cornbread, hot sauce, and turnip greens on a Sunday afternoon.
1. Van Halen -"Ice Cream Man": This cover, originally sung back in the 1920's by John Brim, is one of my favorite songs and always puts me in a better mood. It's also on the list to be played at my funeral. How sad can anyone be after hearing lyrics like I got good lemonade and Dixie cups/all flavors and pushups too/I'm your ice cream man, baby, stop me when I'm passing by. Good and cheeky fun.
[Joshua George]
This could possibly be one of the hardest topics that Ben has come up with, but I'll give it the best I can.
5. Weird Al – "Trapped In the Drive Thru": I think we can all agree that this song deserves a place in the top 5 not only for its amazing parody, but because Weird Al is always singing about food.
4. 69 Boyz – "Tootsie Roll": This is a self-explanatory song choice I believe.
3. Kelis – "Milkshake": As much as I hate this song, I have to say it was a big hit at the time and definitely mentions food.
2. Lil' Wayne – "Lollipop": Of course this song is near the top of my list. I know I know... everyone hates Lil Wayne and everyone thinks he's trash, but like him or not this single was HUGE and I think definitely references food in a fantastic manner.
1. Trick Daddy – "Sugar": This was a no-brainer for me. With all of the references to food that are in this song and used perfectly, it's definitely worth a mention here.
[Matt Shoemaker]
Note: There's no rhyme or reason to this list. I took 5 songs I liked/knew that had food/drink references in 'em, and put em here. This is probably one of the hardest lists to come up with. I'm pressed for time, so I'm keeping it short and sweet.
5. Warrant - "Cherry Pie": This is like... a staple. This is the first thing that came to mind when I read the topic. Not necessarily one of my favorite songs, but it's definitely stood the test of time.
4. Weird Al - "Eat It": Somehow, this is better than Warrant. Oh, that's right. Warrant sucks. I first heard this song in like, 5th grade, and thought it was awesome. Weird Al never really got old for me. This is one of his staples.
3. Rob Zombie - "Pussy Liquor": If not for anything but the name, I'm adding this in here.
2. Lupe Fiasco - "Gotta Eat": While not directly about food, there are plenty of references to food in relation to making money and living the life of a gangster. Lupe's fantastic lyrical style and delivery really make this work.
1. Dethklok – "Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle": The ultimate beverage promotion song. At a very short minute and a half, it gets it's point across quickly, and still has time for a nasty guitar solo.
[Jasper Jones]
Honorable Mentions
Any number of Ween songs: "Your Party", "Bananas and Blow", "Pork, Roll, Egg, and Cheese", "Pollo Asado", etc.
Meat Loaf - The actual man.
Alabama - "Song of the South" : "Song, song of the south / Sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth!"
Hank Williams - "Jambalaya"
Eagles of Death Metal - "Cherry Cola"
Roger Miller - "Little Green Apples"
5. Tom Waits - "Ice Cream Man": "Clickin' by your house about two forty-five / With a sidewalk sundae strawberry surprise, / I got a cherry popsicle right on time / A big stick, mamma, that'll blow your mind" Tom Waits is without a doubt one of the greatest songwriters of all time. Here (and throughout the rest of the song) he's pulling out every bad food/sex pun he can find, yet he still makes it work.
4. Glen Campbell (and many others) - "MacArthur Park": "MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark / all the sweet, green icing flowing down / someone left the cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'cause it took so long to bake it / and I'll never have that recipe again, oh no!" OH NO, THE CAKE! This song is despised by a lot of people, and I bet it's on plenty of "Worst Songs of All Time" lists. I don't care though. I get a kick out of it.
3. Warren Zevon - "Excitable Boy": "Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best / Excitable boy, they all said / and he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest / Excitable boy, they all said / Well, he's just an excitable boy" The image of a young man leaping onto a dinner table and rubbing pot roast all over himself is quite hilarious to me. This could only come from the mind of Warren Zevon. I wish I could get that excited over something.
2. Weird Al - "Eat It": "I don't care if you're full / Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it / Open up your mouth and feed it / Have some more yogurt, have some more spam / It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned" Anyone who doesn't have Weird Al somewhere on their list should be ashamed. He's the king of all food related songs. Hell, he has a whole album related to food songs like "Fat", "Addicted to Spuds", and "My Bologna".
1. Harry Nilsson - "Coconut": "Brudder bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime, / His sister had anudder one she paid it for a lime. / She put de lime in de coconut, she drank 'em bot' up / She put de lime in de coconut and called de doctor, woke 'im up" This is the ultimate in food related songs right here. I first learned it from The Muppet Show way back in the day and later, much to my delight, found out that it was a real song. I love the song, but I am not a fan of limes or coconuts. I'm sure this has something to do with Harry Nilsson's raging alcoholism. Either that, or it's total nonsense. Who wants a mixed drink?
[Michael Adler]
Honorable Mention: Ray Parker Jr. - "Ghostbusters" video : Ray Parker Jr.'s amazing song is perfectly choreographed to the part in the movie where the Ghostbusters bust their first ghost, slimer, destroying a hotel ballroom filled with catered food and drink. It also features cameos from Chevy Chase and John Candy, among others, who are delicious.
5. The Lonely Island Boys - "Jizz in my Pants video": This video, only a week old, is awesome and hysterical enough to make it to the top five. The supermarket scene, spanning the second verse, is clearly the best grocery scene in a music video since "Been Caught Stealing." I could go on, but I'm going to lift Wikipedia's entry on it:
"The video opens with Samberg singing in a club. As he is invited to Molly Sims' room, he prematurely ejaculates, or "jizzes in his pants," in the hallway. Taccone then prematurely ejaculates in the check-out line of a grocery store where Jamie-Lynn Sigler is working. During the grocery store scene a cameo appearance is made by Justin Timberlake, who appears as a janitor. Samberg then appears departing a movie theatre where a missed call from a girl causes him to prematurely ejaculate. In another scene, Taccone is seen driving his car listening to the radio when a song begins to play that reminds him of a girl, and causes him to "jizz in his pants." Samberg and Taccone then begin to sing about how they easily "jizz in their pants" from an alarm clock, opening a window, eating a grape, or even at the end of The Sixth Sense. Next, Samberg and Taccone explain that every time they are next to girls, they ejaculate prematurely. Also, they admit that they must wear a condom all the time to keep themselves from ruining their pants. Akiva Schaffer can be seen in the background at various times as the DJ."
Wow. Gotta love Wikipedia's cold dissection of the topic at hand. By the way, when I was typing this entry, I jizzed in my pants.
4. Led Zeppelin - "Tangerine": Not technically about food, but rather a lost love named Tangerine, it still puts me in the mood for citrus. This one was off of Zeppelin's III which was one of their more experimental albums, and it's a beautiful blend of country and folk - probably one of their best songs.
3. Led Zeppelin - "The Lemon Song": Can Zeppelin do no wrong with citrus? One wonders if Bonham had survived or if they go through with their current tour that we may perhaps get an amazing song by the name of Pomello or Orange. Back to the present, this is a bluesy classic with a killer John Paul Jones blues line about, oddly enough, Robert Plant nearly jizzing in his pants. (The way you squeeze my lemon,I..I'm gonna fall right out of bed, yeah.) So technically, the lemon isn't standing for food, but rather Robert Plant's gushing penis. Regardless, I think it's an awesome enough song with food names in it to warrant high placement on my list. Remember, when life gives you amazing handjobs, make lemonade.
2. Morphine - "French Fries with Pepper": This is one of my favorite songs from Morphine. It's a pretty simple, but catchy song about growing up and learning zero over the course of four decades-just sitting on the back porch, with some red wine, and french fries...and pepper.
1. Weird Al Yankovic - "Fat" video: I went back and watched this video as research for my list, and it's still laugh out loud funny. It's Al's best work, ever, about his reaffirming the fact that he is indeed fat. (For those completely ignorant of the works of Michael Jackson, this is a parody of "Bad".) From the opening scene of Weird Al getting offered, a "yo ding dong, man, ding dong!" by part of the fat gang, to the flawless execution of what Michael Jackson's Bad video would be like if all the dancers were fat, this is an ode to eating too much and still as funny as the day it was made. I still get chills watching him expand in the beginning of the video.
[Tom Santoro]
Honorable mentions:
"Weird Al" Yankovic - "Eat it" & "Fat": These were the obvious selections, so I left them off the top five.
Bow Wow Wow - "I Want Candy": Another obvious one.
MC Chris - "I Want Candy" (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force):
Presidents of the USA - "Peaches": I remember when this came out, Lars Ulrich was being interviewed by Kurt Loder and he said "I don't think we are going to make a lot of money singing songs about canning peaches." Lars was wrong! The members of PUSA are now working for Dole, canning peaches, and they are millionaires!
5. Jimmy Buffett - "Cheeseburger in Paradise": I know this song sucks, but I just spent a week in the Keys and went to his bar and ate the "Cheeseburger in Paradise." The thing is that it may be one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever eaten (or that I was starving from my two day drinks only binge). Try it with the Heinz 57 and all the fixings the song suggests. (That last sentence is taken straight from the menu).
4. Kelis - "Milkshake": Tommy, Love milkshakes. They are the best drink known to man, chocalate, vanilla, strawberry...huh...oh...I have just been informed this song is about boobies. Either way, I still like Milkshakes!
3. Van Halen - "Ice Cream Man": Diamond Dave was at his all time best here singing about Ice Cream delivery. It is a good thing he and Eddie made up because he was very close to working in an Ice Cream truck. Come on, this song is about the Ice Cream truck driver sticking it to MILF's? I really thought Dave liked Ice Cream!
2. The Replacements - "Beer for Breakfast": At 1:38, the best song about drinking all day. It is five o'clock somewhere, indeed. Beer is very nutritious, right up there with carrots and stuff.
1. Primus - "Shake Hands with Beef": High Five me Vegans! Down low vegetarians!
[Jesse Coy]
5. Carnivore - "Jack Daniels and Pizza": This is quite frankly a very simple song of only 55 seconds. We are mixing a bit of alcohol in with the food, but that's okay. As I said, it's very simple. As a matter of fact, there really isn't any bass. Come to think of it, there're no guitars or drums either. The vocals are basic. This is from the band's second release (of only two releases), Retaliation. They went on to become Type O Negative.
4. M.O.D. - "Aren't You Hungry": this band, along with S.O.D., has always been known for its sensitivity when it comes to addressing issues in a highly politically correct manner. Here we discuss food. It was a reaction to the times in the 80's with "We Are the World," yet world hunger still exists, and always exists. Thankfully, especially during this X-Mas season, there are bands to remind us of what's really important.
from "Aren't You Hungry"
Sitting in my kitchen
Stuffed from having ate
What should I do now
With what's left on my plate
Maybe I should save it
But naw I got the cash
Think I'll take the easy way
And throw it in the trash
I think of people starving
But do you think I care
Let them all die hungry
So I can breathe their air
3. Dead Kennedys - "Soup Is Good Food": this comes from the band's Frankenchrist album, infamous in part because this is where the huge DK obscenity trial originated... insert art included with this album sparking the case. This is a masterpiece DK album. I wouldn't call it their best, because they really did a punk range with their five primary releases. "Soup" sort of frames this tune together, though the track is talking about a lot more. From my isolated post, trapped far from the U.S. in my little space station, I see headlines of 80,000 jobs cut here, 300,000 jobs cut there, 150,000 jobs cut over there. I can't help thinking it all adds up. This song becomes quite relevant again. Folks might start thinking hard on this one... a cheap can of soup might be a really good food option for you earthbound folks.
from "Soup Is Good Food"
Soup is good food-(We don't need you any more)
You made a good meal-(We don't need you any more)
Now how do you feel-(We don't need you any more)
To be shit out our ass
And thrown in the cold like a piece of trash
We're sorry
You'll just have to leave
Unemployment runs out after just six weeks
How does it feel to be a budget cut?
You're snipped
You no longer exist
2. Weird Al - "Eat It": As though anyone can make a Top 5 list of food songs and ignore Weird Al. I certainly won't. I could've gone with "Fat," "Spam," "My Bologna," "Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch," "The White Stuff," "Livin' in the Fridge," "Grapefruit Diet," or about a half dozen other tunes by him. But this particular parody really launched the Weird One to fame. So here it is. Deal with it, you gluttons!
1. L7 - "Diet Pill": No, this isn't the best track from L7's awesome Bricks Are Heavy release (for that, check out "Pretend That We're Dead," "Everglade," or "Shitlist"). I won't go into the fact that if you know very little about these GALS, you really should nab some of their releases... I'll just say that it's #1 on my list, because with all this food and eating, we might need a diet pill. You can apply it to the other lists, too.
And that's my contribution this week. Please get me off this space station.
[Dan Haggerty]
5. Monty Python - "Spam": Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam, lovely Spam, wonderful Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam, lovely Spam, wonderful Spam.
4. Warrant - "Cherry Pie": The song is dripping in pop metal hell, and the lyrics are so cheesy they come in a can, but it was big and it was about food... well, close enough. What punter wouldn't want his girlfriend to invite him over to have a piece of her cherry pie?
3. Jimmy Buffett - "Cheeseburger in Paradise": What can possibly be better than eating a good old cheese burger? Why eating it in the Virgin Islands, of course! Based on a true story actually, Buffett living off of canned food and seafood while sailing the Caribbean and happened upon the only place within hundreds of miles to make a cheeseburger. They weren't very good, but at that point he didn't care. Made for a fun song, however.
2. Rolling Stones - "Brown Sugar": Speaking of innuendos, how about this very loose food analogy/slight cover for all kids of sexual and drug vices. It's amazing how a little brown sugar can also stand for rape, incest, sadomasochism, various sexual techniques, and even heroin. Damn, food is a metaphor for sex in a lot of songs.
1. "Weird Al" Yankovic - "Eat It": Oh come on. You can't even do a list like this and not mention the ultimate parody, Weird Al taking on the King of Pop to the tune of "Beat It". What do you get? Several minutes of every silly food reference ever done. Props to Michael Jackson, he bought copies of this to give to friends so the man must have a good sense of humor.
[Aarón Mayagoitia]
5. The Kinks – "Maximum Consumption": A song about the unhealthy habits of having to eat on the road when you're a touring musician. Clam chowder, beef steak on rye, pumpkin pie, green salad, French fries… Ray Davies goes through the lengthy list of dishes that form his menu. This song will get your appetite going after a few listens.
4. Pink Floyd – "Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast": A really creative song about someone having breakfast. You can listen to Alan (a Pink Floyd roadie) serving himself some cereal and gobbling it up, and frying some eggs and bacon. Every time I listen to this song, I remember the different scents of a morning's breakfast. The band used to fry real bacon on stage when they played this song.
3. Neil Young & Crazy Horse – "T-Bone": For nine minutes and fourteen seconds, all you'll hear is Neil singing "got mashed potatoes, ain't got no t-bone" over a steady rocking beat. I crack up every time I listen to this because it can mean two things: Neil wanted to give us a deep message about life always being incomplete, or he was stoned out of his mind and happened to have tape rolling.
2. Focus – "Hamburger Concerto": An epic progressive rock instrumental about cooking a burger. You read right. The song is divided into the following chapters: "Starter," "Rare," "Medium I," "Medium II," "Well done," and "One for the Road." Aside from the unconventional theme of the piece, it's some of the best music the band ever produced. Go ahead and cook a burger with this one, it's a blast.
1. Budgie – "You Are the Greatest Thing since Powdered Milk": What? I still don't know how anybody can be greater than powdered milk. I mean, powdered milk is so great; you'd have to be really great to be greater than powdered milk! Even Chuck Norris has a hard time being greater than powdered milk. Anyway, the song's a crunchy rifftastic slab of ‘70s hard rock. Look it up and have a listen.
Alright, folks. Thanks for reading. Here's what you should do. Enter your list in the comment's section. You do not have to register to comment. Here's how your list should look:Honorable Mentions: If you have any...
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