[Andrew Moll]
Honorable Mentions: Death Cab for Cutie – "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"; Pearl Jam – "Santa God"; The Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"; The Sonics – "Santa Claus"
5. Pearl Jam – "Let Me Sleep" – Every Christmas Pearl Jam sends out vinyl singles to fan club members, and this was the first one and definitely one of the best. Eddie Vedder sings about memories of his childhood and the "magic" of Christmas time. There's no irony here as Vedder excels at being earnest and emotional, and this is a great example of singing about the "holiday spirit" without being sappy.
4. John Lennon – "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" – Many people see Christmas as an opportunity to look back on the past year while also looking to the future. John Lennon took that sentiment applied it to this anti-war song. He starts it off singing "So this is Xmas/And what have you done?" Lennon is challenging the listener right off the bat and later proclaims "War is over, if you want it." Statements like that might seem hokey with other musicians, but Lennon was able to make it inspiring.
3. The Jackson 5 – "Someday at Christmas" – In a song whose content is similar to "Happy Christmas," The Jackson 5 took Stevie Wonder's plea for peace and togetherness and added their own youthful energy as well as their tremendous melodies. It's stunning to hear young Michael Jackson sing lyrics like "Someday at Christmas there'll be no wars/When we have learned what Christmas is for/When we have found what life's really worth/There'll be peace on earth," with such emotion. Also, the lyrics ring just as true today as they did when they were written.
2. The Sonics – "Don't Believe in Christmas" – It's probably the funniest Christmas song and it's all about taking all our childhood assumptions about the holiday and turning them on their ears. Lyrics like "Well wakin' up the reindeer /Makin' little kids cheer /The reason that his nose shine/Santa gave him moonshine/I don't believe in Christmas/'Cause I didn't get nothin' last year," make this such a fun and rollicking song.
1. The Pogues – "Fairytale of New York" – The greatest Christmas song of all-time isn't a feel-good tale about Santa Claus and the charm of winter, but instead it's a bittersweet song about a drunk's musings about a failed relationship. The Pogues' brand of Irish folk suited the song perfectly as Shane MacGowan's gruff vocals underscored the lyrics. The best part of the song is the duet with Kirsty MacColl and their banter with each other. This song is proof that not all great Christmas songs have to be lighthearted; they can be gritty and real while remaining a charming sing-along. There's no doubt this is the best Christmas song ever written.
[Jesse Coy]
Note: Wow, this marks two years for me with 411Mania. This was the first list to which I contributed back in '06. I just didn't make it in time for the Top 5, because I'd just come aboard. In '07, there was no Top 5 running, so I included a list in Notes from a Padded Cell. And now here we are closing out '08.
By the way, not necessarily the best, because that changes from year to year for me, but ones on my mind this year, and maybe less mentioned ones.
5. Squirrel Nut Zipper/Crash Test Dummies - "Carolina Christmas"/"Jingle Bells": Both of these bands have X-Mas albums. So you can either go the swing revival route via SNZ's '98 Christmas Caravan release, or the deep-voiced Brad, sweet-voiced Ellen combo on CTD's '02 Jingle All the Way. These two particular tracks I picked, the first of the two is just some hopping fun, and the second, Brad's delivery gives "Jingle Bells" a creepy twist.
4. Fear - "Fuck Christmas": For all haters of this season, all you need to do is play this song, and you can get all your anger out in under a minute. By the way, I got American Beer by Fear last year, and there's another X-Mas song on that one… "Another Christmas Beer." That one's good, too, but when in doubt, always go with the original.
3. The Ramones - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)": Ever familiar, as many Ramones tunes are, but with an X-Mas twist. And it's really great if you got the sort of gal who likes to argue when ringing in the glad tidings of the festive season. Why am I getting the image in my head right now of a cloud high up ringing out with, "1-2-3-4..." loud guitar and fast music? I wonder if the three of them found an angel to sit in as drummer.
2. Mojo Nixon - "We Three Kings": It was a sad, sad day when Mojo Nixon retired. This particular track comes from his '92 release, Horny Holidays, a raunchy, raucous, rockabilly X-Mas CD. If you don't know Mojo, and have ANY liking for rockabilly, you need to get one of his albums. Here, he's going a bit for a Tom Waits-type vocal style. It's the best version of "We Three Kings" I've ever heard. And speaking of Tom...
1. Tom Waits - "Christmas Card From Hooker": Why not end the list with a very non-obvious track? Despite the fact that X-Mas is in the title of this one, no mention is made of the holiday season. It's basically Tom reciting/half singing this letter from a hooker who paints a wonderful picture of her new life, but then ends by recanting it all. She just needs some money.
Merry Christmas from outer space!
[Jon Kinsey]
5. Elvis Presley – "Blue Christmas": While not the first, the Presley recording is certainly the definitive version of this song. As you will see from some of my other choices, I like my Christmas songs with a little drop of melancholy and this fits the bill perfectly. It's a missive on spending Christmas away from a woman you know you can not have, something that many can relate to at this time of year.
4. Half Man Half Biscuit – "It's Cliché To Be Cynical At Christmas": You'll probably hear me talk about Half Man Half Biscuit a lot when my column hits full stride. They are one of my favourite bands and Nigel Blackwell's lyrics are unlike anything I've ever come across. Some people write them off as a comedy band, but to me their work is decidedly surrealist. As you may have guessed from the title, Blackwell uses this track as a platform to bash those for whom Christmas is an excuse to be grumpy. That it ends with a children's choir singing "I Saw Three Ships", my favourite traditional Christmas song, is a lovely bonus.
3. Lou Barlow – "Mary": This is "re-imagining" of the traditional Nativity story. Barlow plays the narrator, a man who is secretly in love with Mary. They had a child together, but were forced to concoct a cover story to avoid being stoned to death, the traditional Biblical punishment for adultery. Barlow somehow manages to be quirky and moving at the same time. Mary is played off as a little bit mad and the narrator, the "man next door", is clearly still in love with her, even though he knows they can never be together. I'm a sucker for these sorts of stories!
2. Sufjan Stephens – "I Saw Three Ships": "I Saw Three Ships" technically features twice in this list (the first as an uncredited part of number 4), which is a testament to just how much I love it. It was originally written in the 1600s and has stood the test of time, despite its apparent simplicity. Sufjan Stephens is primarily responsible for the modern re-invention of this genre, with his yearly "Songs for Christmas" albums. Of the forty or so Christmas songs he has recorded over the years, this stands out by a country mile – one of my favourite performers performing one of my favourite songs.
1. The Pogues – "Fairytale of New York": Let's be honest, was there ever going to be any other number one? This isn't only my favourite Christmas song of all time; it is also the best. I'm sure I won't be the only one who thinks this. For all of the stories, the folklore and the legend that has sprung up around Shane Macgowan, it is easy to forget what a phenomenal lyricist he was. Then, every year, at around this time, "Fairytale…" pops up to remind us. It is not a traditional Christmas song and is, in fact, downright aggressive in parts. MacGowan and Kirsty MacColl (who, for some reason, was uncredited on the single release, despite performing an even split of the vocals), play former lovers, at least one of whom is dying. They had a dream to perform on Broadway, but it was slowly eaten away by drink and drugs, leaving them bitter and resentful. This is a Christmas song only in the sense that it is set on Christmas Eve, and that we associate it so strongly with this time of year. In a genre filled with saccharine dipped, and often times unjustifiable, sentimentality, it is a welcome relief. That it is such a sea change from the conventional is almost certainly why so many of us love it so much.
[Michael Adler]
Honorable Mention - Ray Parker Jr. - "Christmastime is Here" He's managed to make almost every single top five list as an honorable mention since I've started writing here for 411mania, and surely we all thought he couldn't make it for top Christmas song! But wonder of wonders, he did with this little known gem. It's not as good as "Ghostbusters" though.
5. Adam Sandler - "The Chanukah Song": Yeah, it's not a Christmas song, bite me. This list is discriminatory-if there were actually five Hanukkah songs, I'd list them. In any event, this is a hysterical song about Hanukah and which celebrities are Jewish.
4. James Brown - "Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto": I just heard this one tonight for the first time, and it's pretty awesome. Prior to James Brown commanding Santa to go to the ghetto, he always passed over the inner city, leaving a generation of disillusioned urban youth. Thank you James Brown, thank you for bringing Christmas to the ghetto.
3. Darlene Love - "Baby Please Come Home": Holidays or not, Jew or not, I absolutely love this song, and this is one of the holidays songs I need to hear every year. As a matter of fact, I love this song so much that...
2. U2 - "Baby Please Come Home": ...I'm going to list it twice. Darlene Love did the original, but I think U2 edges out the original somewhat. Of course I'm a bigger U2 fan than I am of Darlene Love, so I'm slightly biased. Regardless, there's definitely something about this song that brings home what the holiday's really about, family, and how it feels not to have them around. It's a bittersweet classic.
1. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band - "Santa Claus is Coming to Town": Despite being Jewish, Mr. Springsteen has the definitive version of this song, and the definitive Christmas classic. (Yes, I know he's not Jewish, but I love running the joke into the ground.) Anyway, it's good to see Bruce lighten up sometimes, and this song just gets better with every year I hear it.
[Mitch Michaels]
Honorable Mentions: Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds - "Christmas Song", Brenda Lee - "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree", The Tractors - "Santa Claus Is Comin' (In A Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train)", The Chipmunks - "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)", Alabama - "Christmas In Dixie", Brian Beathard - "Damn It, I'm Vixen", B.B. King - "Christmas In Heaven"
5. Eagles - "Please Come Home For Christmas": Part of my obsession with the Eagles' best and only Christmas song is the fact that, until a few years ago, you just couldn't find it on a CD anywhere, as it was only released as a single. So every Christmas season I would cycle through the radio, hoping to catch the song from the very beginning. And what a beginning - the lonely piano keys, "Bells will be ringin'!". This is just the way a Christmas record should sound, the best of them from the 50's all the way to the 70's (when they took that shit seriously). With those Eagles harmonies and just an amazing groove. You can't beat it.
4. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - "Christmas All Over Again": This was Tom's attempt at making a BIG recording. You can almost hear how Phil Spector's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" set the benchmark. I'll even drop a little knowledge on you - this track was written on a ukulele. Anyway, just another example of how a Christmas single should sound, with those amazing bells, the sax. It's just FESTIVE. Not to mention the "little kids gonna get down" and "hope your mama gets her shopping done". If this one doesn't get your Christmas party hopping, you may want to make sure you're not partying with some Mormons or something. They don't celebrate Christmas, right?
3. Robert Earl Keen - "Merry Christmas From The Family": "Mom got drunk and dad got drunk/At our Christmas party". That's really all you need to know about this track. Reminds me of the OTHER half of my family, but in a fun way. "Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen/I can't remember how I'm kin to them". If you've been there, then you'll be feeling this one. Those weird cousins who aren't anybody's nephew or niece. Redneck? Yeah, but the description of more people's family Christmas than you may realize. Crank it up, and for God's sakes, someone pick up the tampons this time.
2. Patty Loveless - "O Come All Ye Faithful": Few people have ever captured the true power of this Christmas hymn like Patty Loveless. "O Come All Ye Faithful" is so often played as a lullaby, when its lyrics convey a rallying cry. "Come and behold him!/Born the King of Angels". That is powerful stuff. Not that Patty's version is over the top. In a way, it's beautifully understated, with its acoustic instruments and gorgeous mandolin fills. "Sing in exaltation". This is what Christmas is really about and it reminds me every time I spin it.
1. Marty Stuart - "Even Santa Gets The Blues": This is actually from the same album as my runner-up, A Very Special Acoustic Christmas. Another acoustic track with some great mandolin and the most lonesome stand-up bass the yuletide has ever heard. "What I wouldn't give for just one silent night/Just me and mama Claus by the warm firelight". The guy works one day a year, and yet he still gets low down. Some great back-up vocals here by Marty's Fabulous Superlatives. A playful but still thoughtful song and it's just not Christmas till I've heard it.
[Paul Hollingsworth]
Every year by Thanksgiving, at the latest, I've had my fill of "The Little Drummer Boy" and "Silent Night" and whatever other Christmas carol you care to mention. It doesn't matter whether it's at a department store, a mall or the grocery store, the music is inescapable. I don't want to hear any of it, thanks all the same. I'm just trying to buy a loaf of bread and a twelve pack of Rolling Rock, just like I've been doing all year, and forcing me to endure an ear-aching rendition of "Jingle Bells" isn't going to magically increase my desire for whatever crap the store is trying to pass off as an essential component of my holidays. The commercialism of Christmas has ruined just about every Christmas song for me, forever.
Honorable Mention: John Entwistle - "I Believe In Everything": I covered this one in my column a few weeks ago, but in case you missed it, this is the best use of a Christmas song, ever.
5. The Kinks - "Father Christmas": The holidays are full of well-behaved children who patiently wait in line to present their Christmas lists to shopping mall Santas. Unfortunately, there are also a few children who have a more direct way of asking for treats from Santa. The Kinks may have recorded the first instance of a Santa-jacking. Ho! Ho! Ho!
4. Run DMC - "Christmas in Hollis": This is the only Christmas song I could ever imagine singing at a karaoke bar. It's also the only song on my list which isn't depressing, bitter and/or bleak. On the rare occasion when my inner Scrooge disappears, this song is usually responsible.
3. The Ramones - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)": Domestic abuse and Christmas aren't normally associated with one another, but thankfully the Ramones took time out of their busy schedules of ruling the world to fix that problem for all time with this fine piece of Christmas cheer: ‘Cause Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's hearts' Thanks, Joey, I feel much better now. Apparently, the correct time for breaking hearts is New Year's.
2. Gordon Lightfoot - "Circle of Steel": A young mother struggles to survive in an unfamiliar land while also caring for her newborn baby. Meanwhile, the local authorities attempt to track them both down, with nefarious intent. The newborn's father is, strangely, absent. (Although the newborn is told, ‘Your father's pride was his means to provide/and he's serving three years for that reason') Lightfoot's retelling of the traditional Christmas narrative is as dreary and grim as a winter in his native Canada.
1.Vera Lynn - "The Little Boy Santa Claus Forgot": Speaking of absent fathers, this poor bastard kid had one also, which apparently meant no presents at all. It seems to have been a law, back in the 1940's when this was recorded, that single mothers were not allowed to give presents to their bastard children. This song also earns extra special bonus points for its inclusion in the film version of "The Wall." Pink is listening to it at the beginning of the film in the hotel room, shortly before all hell breaks lose. Sometimes I listen to this hoping that it will make Christmas pass quickly by. When that doesn't work, there's always the DVD of "The Wall."
[Phil Watts, Jr.]
I know everyone is getting sick of the constant Christmas songs being pumped through the store speakers. With me working in retail, it's certainly been doing a number on me. However, whenever I hear these songs, I don't mind it as much. In fact, I wish a lot of Christmas songs had as much heart and inspiration is these did.
5. John Coltrane - "My Favorite Things": What's a good way to take a tawdry, meandering Christmas song and make it better? Give it to a jazz legend, that's what. This is a case where making this song into a brilliantly done instrumental works better.
4. The Vince Guaraldi Trio - "Skating": The CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. You know that Christmas is on the way whenever that comes on. I advise you to track down the soundtrack album while you can. It's great to hear all the songs in untouched format.
3. Donny Hathaway - "This Christmas": The fact that this man has never made a Christmas album is a crime. Donny Hathaway would've made an incredible Christmas album, especially if this song served as an indicator.
2. The Jackson 5 - "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus": "I DID--I DID SEE MOMMA KISSIN' SANTA CLAUS---AND I'M GONNA TELL MY DADDY!!" This song was tailor made for the Jackson boys.
1. The Temptations - "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer": It's cool how the Tempts took this secular Christmas tune and brought it straight to church! When a lot of people try to put their stamp on a Christmas song, it ends up sounding forced. I love what these guys did to this often-covered song.
[Tom Santoro]
Honorable Mentions: Too many to choose from. I could be ultra cool, ultra traditional or just stick to the classics. So I'll pick the ones that are meaningful to me.
The Vandals - "Oi to the World": Screw No Doubt for taking this one!
Burl Ives - "A Holly Jolly Christmas": You can't have Christmas without Burl Ives. You just can't.
The Vince Guaraldi Trio - "Christmastime is Here": I liked it even more when they used it in
Arrested Development when someone was sulking.
Thurl Ravenscroft - "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch"
"Weird Al" Yankovic - "The Night Santa Went Crazy": Santa goes postal! Come on man I know you have a lot of pressure to deliver presents to billions of people, but you only have to work one day a year without getting paid. Maybe Santa needs a therapist!
Bob and Doug Mackenzie - "The Twelve Days of Christmas": "...and a beer in a tree."
Run DMC - "Christmas in Hollis": The first hip hop Christmas song!
Local H - "Disgruntled Christmas": It took me forever to find this song as I heard it on a B-side my friend had for being on their mailing list. A modern day Grinch (who would be an anarchist in today's day and age) sings about how much he hates the holiday and how he will act out (ex. "You say shopping spree, I say killing spree"). I love this song!
5. Eric Cartman - "Swiss Colony Beef Log": When I first bought the Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics, this was by far the standout track. My co-workers and I played it over and over when I first brought it in and could not stop laughing. One of my co-workers just asked me to burn him a copy so he can play it.
4. Kirsty Macoll & The Pogues - "Fairytale of New York": Ultimately this made the list for me because of great memories. My friends and I were good friends with the owner of this little Irish Pub when we were in college. We often would help out serving drinks and help with the door on especially busy nights. One Christmas Eve none of us went home for Christmas and we all ended up at the Pub. After closing, this song came on the CD Player and we all stopped what we were doing and drank a Guinness and hung out until early morning. I always think of that when I hear this.
3. The Kinks - "Father Christmas": This is my classic rock favorite. Santa the poor kids need cold hard cash not dancing Elmos!
2. Alvin & The Chipmunks – "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)": This one reminds me of Christmas Eve at my Grandparents. My Grandfather had a huge music collection and many record players around his house. He would play this one when my cousins and I would start opening presents. Not to mention Alvin's falsetto is top notch here.
1. Wham! - "Last Christmas": I don't know maybe the Christmas season makes me feel more festive. I could have picked countless Christmas classics or gone with a bunch of novelty songs or be really cool and choose songs you barely heard of. But like it or not this Wham! gem is a sad love song buried in a Christmas tune and is the most covered Christmas song by today's biggest artists.
Alright, folks. Thanks for reading. Here's what you should do. Enter your list in the comment's section. You do not have to register to comment. Here's how your list should look:Honorable Mentions: If you have any...
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