Quick 'n' Dirty Music News 01.09.09

Posted by Brittany Haskins on 01.09.2009

Amy Winehouse vs. the law, Snow Patrol's armor, Mariah Carey vs. math, and Lily Allen vs. religion! Is Paris Hilton a ho? Plus the latest chart news and Mariah Carey is your Piece of the Week!

Well hello and happy new year loyal QnD enthusiasts. Mitch couldn't make it this week because he's busy suckin' cock and thought it was more important to get his hot beef injection rather than help out his best friend, Brittany.

(Ed. Note: Somebody's gotta pay the bills around here, Britt)

Anywho, lets get on with the news because there is a lot that we need to cover...



STAND BY…FOR NEWS!

All news items are from 411 Music's newswire:

Brittany's Dirty News

Where do I begin…

OK, Amy Winehouse is trying to repeal her case of possessing marijuana because she believes the cops handled the situation wrong. But that's just what she believes, it is unknown how high on crack she was at the time of the arrest.

I am also curious why she wasn't arrested because of this:


CNN tried to convince lead singer of Snow Patrol Gary Lightbody that his dad dressed him up in armor and sent him off to school:

CNN: It sounds like you had an interesting upbringing. Didn't your dad used to dress you up in a suit of armor and send you off to school?

Gary Lightbody: (laughs) I think this must be on Wikipedia or something, because people keep asking me this question. I think somebody's just having a laugh on the Internet. I think it's brilliant. Who dresses up their son in a suit of armor? I would've absolutely loved that at school.

CNN: Wait, what does your dad do?

Lightbody: My dad is a medieval jouster.

CNN: For real ...

Lightbody: He makes costumes for medieval fairs.

CNN: Right, so it's not a huge stretch that he might dress you up in a suit of armor and send you off to school.

Lightbody: This never happened.

Can you imagine, "son, I didn't make enough this month to buy you clothes…But I made you this!"


Nobody would want to fuck with the kid in the armor, they normally have weapons.

Jack Black's New Years resolution is to eat oatmeal for breakfast and then hae a second breakfast and trying to exercise.

'I do some special stretches, sit-ups and sometimes even some push-ups. But I think a good walk down the street is great workout.


I love that man.

Psychopath Mariah Carey is planning on "multiplying" with husband Nick Cannon. After the couple was spotted buying School House Rock videos, she admitted to not being very good at math and Cannon is willing to teach her.


Everyone's favorite pompadour rocker, Morrissey has a new single called "I'm throwing my arms around Paris" that is up for preview on his Myspace page. His new album will be out February 17 in the US and February 23 in the UK. I'm listening to the new track, and it is actually pretty sweet. But then again, how can Morrissey ever go wrong?

Lilly Allen has admitted to using cocaine (what? A celebrity doing coke?) and that it shouldn't be as frowned upon as it is. She obviously hasn't met my ex-boyfriend who metamorphosised into a complete waste of space since the first time he shoved a straw up his nose. She also went on to say this:

"I don't like Christianity much. I was brought up in a Catholic school and they told me gays, adultery and drugs were bad… All my mum's friends were gay, my dad was having affairs and there were drugs in the house when I was a kid, so it was a bit cruel."

Why would her parents enroll her in catholic school? Odd.

U2's Spider-Man musical will be hitting Broadway this year. The musical's band is a 20 piece rock act that will most likely be playing nothing but U2 songs while Spidey hangs from the ceiling in a web. Can't wait for this!
The following photo is Bono himself summing up the musical:


Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones bought his 20 year old girlfriend a used $20,000 Hendrix guitar to teach her how to play. Hendrix's spirit comes out of that guitar and into her fucking fingers to make her as epic as Jimi himself because no 20 year old non guitar playing bitch deserves a guitar actually used by Jimi Hendrix. He's an idiot and she's a whore. here is proof

Paris Hilton is trying to clean up her image by saying she hasn't really slept with very many people. I find this funny because I know a guy who went to high school with Paris and he told me she slept with most of his friends. But here is what she had to say anyway.

"I'm a strong woman who doesn't depend on a man for anything. If you give it up to a guy he won't respect you. He'll want you much more if he can't have you. I've only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it's important to play hard to get."

Lets break this down.

1."I'm a strong woman who doesn't depend on a man for anything" except for daddy of course otherwise nobody would know who she is.

2. "If you give it up to a guy he won't respect you" this is why nobody respects Paris Hilton

3. "He'll want you much more if he can't have you" bitch, I don't know a single guy that would fuck her (except for QnD readers of course) because she looks like Mr. Burns with a lazy eye and because Mr. Burns has more tits and ass than she does.

4. "I've only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss." I wish that night vision ‘porno' was a made up story.

5." I think it's important to play hard to get." Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies

You're not fooling anyone.



We had the people's choice awards and this is how we, the people, voted:

35th Annual People's Choice Award Winners

Favorite Male Singer: Chris Brown
Favorite Female Singer: Carrie Underwood
Favorite Group: Rascal Flatts
Favorite Combined Forces: Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown - "No Air"
Favorite Hip-Hop Song: Flo Rida feat. T-Pain - "Low"
Favorite Rock Song: Kid Rock - "All Summer Long"
Favorite Country Song: Carrie Underwood - "Last Name"
Favorte R&B Song: Alicia Keys - "No One"
Favorite Pop Song: Katy Perry - "I Kissed A Girl"
Favorite Song From A Soundtrack: Meryl Streep - "Mamma Mia"

Yeah, I'm convinced we, the people, did not actually vote, and if we did it was overruled by douchey music execs.

What's happened to mainstream music and why are we letting this happen?

Time to start a revolution you guys, lets get on this!!

WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?

1. Lady GaGa - "Just Dance"
2. Beyonce - "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
3. T.I. feat. Rihanna - "Live Your Life"
4. Taylor Swift - "Love Story"
5. Kanye West - "Heartless"
6. Katy Perry - "Hot N Cold"
7. Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours"
8. Britney Spears - "Womanizer"
9. Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne - "Let It Rock"
10. Kanye West - "Love Lockdown"

MUSICAL PIECE OF THE WEEK

Normally I try to put some hot punk rock chicks on here when Mitch isn't choosing the piece of the week, but I don't feel like searching high and low for hard to find shots of hot punk chicks you can jack off to. So since Mariah Carey wants to multiply why don't we have her as piece of the week before she's all knocked up and stretch mark ridden?












THE END

Hope you all had fun. Be sure to drop us a line on what you liked, didn't, etc.

Keep your ears to the ground.