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The Singles Guy 01.14.09: A Weapon of Massive Consumption
Posted by Jacob Crogie on 01.14.2009



Hello all and welcome back to the latest edition of the Singles Guy! I hope all is well, and big shout out to all the students who enjoyed the drunken bliss that is the first week back at University! Let's get to business on a rather quiet week when the lead single is...


Katy Perry- "Thinking of You"

Those of you who checked out our staff picks here at 411 know that I chose her as my breakthrough artist of 2008. Her kitschy dance numbers were pretty awesome, but this track shows us a different side of Katy. She sounds like Alanis here, clearly boring alot of her vocal styling, but not her profound lyrics...This is a stock love ballad and a poppy one at that, its really nothing too amazing, but there are some moments when it shines rather brightly. This is mostly due to the moments where she shines both vocally and lyrically, in lines such as "You're like an Indian summer/In the middle of winter/Like a hard candy/With a surprise center". There is just an element of sincerity, and the song seems to be dripping with it.

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Her Alanis-esque inflection throughout

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3.5/5




Metro Station- "Seventeen Forever"

Uh oh...this one could get really, really ugly. Well, chalk me up as pleasantly surprised with this one the nice synth intro sets up a pretty solid power pop effort about, as usual, teenage love. Nice bass work done, but musically it seems as if this band is just a step behind much of their competitors. They have plenty of time to develop however, and hopefully step away from the trap of repetitive themes. Honestly, shake it up a little bit...that was rather punny, no?

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness:Synth intro

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness:2.5/5




Q-Tip- "Move"

The leader of A Tribe Called Quest is back in business now, this track is off the heezy...ok, I'll stop now. This guy has done more for hip-hop than any other and its good to see him finally get some charting singles out and hopefully this one helps raise sluggish sales. Anyways, the beat is nice in this track and it samples Jackson 5, so what is not to like? As always, his flow is tight as hell to go over an amazing backing track, solid dance rap song from an underrated artist.

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: The Jackson 5 sampling, its awesome.

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3.5/5




J. Holiday- "It's Yours"

So you all know how much I hate this style of music, but this track from the man that brought us "Bed", is no exception. I dislike R & B love songs, there is just something so fake about them that ruins it for me. Also because Al Green was doing this a long time ago, and know everyone is trying to be the next Usher or Chris Brown. This sounds like an Usher song, or possibly a Chris Brown track, its standard generic crap. It's got a nice synth backbeat which keeps it moving along, still though, not my cup of tea.

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Instrumentation

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 1/5




Black Tide- "Shout"

Let's get the rock out now! This track is a novelty rock song in the vein of "Hell Yeah" with comparable instrumentation. As in, THEY KICK ASS! The solo is pretty tight and is very A7X and when they cross over into the thrash section of the solo, it gets even more amazing. Don't expect any kind of amazing lyrics though, as those are amateur at best. This song is saved by some amazing guitar work, you will probably be hearing this one in sports arenas for years to come!

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Guitar solo, only reason to listen to the song

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 2.5/5




Metric- "Help I'm Alive"

Canadian indie darlings Metric return with their lead single from a forthcoming album which is due to drop sometime in early 2009. I must confess that I never truly understood the drawing power of the Canadian indie scene, or the indie scene in general. Anyways, this track has rather stock instrumentation for an indie rock song and offers little to anyone who isn't a Metric fan, as in me. The lyrics are deep, but almost shallowly so, it is indie-commercial after all. Guaranteed some indie sheep will jump all over me this week...

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: How you can barely tell what the fuck Emily Haines is singing...

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 2/5




Crystal Shawanda- "My Roots Are Showing"

Well, this is from Canada, but I hate to admit it...this song is everything I hate about country. Stupid pathetic hick lyrics which paint all country fans as slack jawed yokels...ARGH! The music is standard pop country and the song screams GENERIC! Honestly, don't even bother with this one...not worth listening to, save for a cool piano solo/guitar solo in the middle.

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Tiny itty bitty little solo sections...

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 1/5





SONG OF THE WEEK!

Lily Allen- "The Fear"

Hilarious...in every way, her mockney style reminds me of one of the more underrated Brits, Mike Skinner aka The Streets. The only thing I have against this track is that its a direct move away from her ska roots. The instrumentation is standard pop, but that is not where Lily shines. The lyrics dwell on the topic of how much one would do to be wealthy, and it is in this that the song is amazing. Her voice makes my loins quiver every damn time, and that has to be a good thing...right?

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: the lyrics, throughout there is gold in them thar hills!

The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 4/5




The Kickass Five Overrated Songs of 2008!

I think the title speaks for itself, after reading Rolling Stone's top 100 of the year I was disgusted, some "professional" critics creamed themselves for these...but I'm not sold.


5.Estelle ft. Kanye West- "American Boy"

WOW! Two weeks in a row, that has to be some kind of record? The song isn't that bad at all, I actually quite enjoy it, problem being, THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL that this song should be number 7!

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: K-K-K-Kanye




4.Vampire Weekend- "One (Blake's Got A New Face)"

OK...I like this song as well, but there is no reason that a song that was not even released as a single should be # 21...fuck you Rolling Stone

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: The piano part!




3.The BPA ft. David Byrne and Dizzee Rascal- "American Boy"

#14...BULLSHIT

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: The back beat...everything else is retarded...well the video is awesome as well.



2.TV on the Radio- "Golden Age"

Musically its good...but what the hell is with the vocals...and what the fuck is he saying?

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Music...ruined by shitty vocals



1.Beyonce- "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"

#1? #1?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS SMOKING? IT'S GOOD BUT NOT THAT GOOD!

The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: I am too disappointed in Rolling Stone to even comment...

WATCH THIS VIDEO!



So that's it for another week, be sure to tune in same time next week, it's a big one for rock fans, with the latest from Rise Against, Kings of Leon and Fallout Boy...also...a song that wins for weirdest collaboration ever...Jesse McCartney...ft...Ludacris!

SHAMELESS PLUG
The SuperHeroes In Training

Until next week, keep your pimphand strong and your rawkfist in the air!





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