Face Off 01.21.09: Wherein Mike and Randy Discuss the Fallacies of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Posted by Michael Adler on 01.21.2009
No Motorhead? Really??!?!?!?!?
Mike riffs: This week the 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees were announced and I have some agreements and disagreements. I'll just go down the list.
First off we have Bobby Womack. According to Wikipedia he played guitar for Sam Cooke. Now, regular readers will of course know that I have no idea who Sam Cooke is. This being so, there's no way in hell I'm going to know who his guitar player is. If I haven't heard of them, they probably shouldn't be in the hall of fame.
Next up we have Little Anthony and the Imperials. No idea.
They're letting Jeff Beck in finally, and this is long overdue. Not only have I heard of Jeff Beck, he's also an amazingly influential guitarist to boot. He's one of three guitar gods to grace the Yardbirds (awesome soloist Jimmy Page and Eric Clapton were the other two.) It's always good when a true rock god gets inducted into the hall of fame. The little jam sessions they have will be awesome, single-handedly because of Jeff Beck. For hilarity and confusion purposes, they should probably have Beck induct him. And if I were Jeff Beck, I'd play nothing but Beck songs at the induction.
Our fourth major inductee is of course, Metallica. I have no issues with this one either, other than that it makes me feel old knowing they've been around for 25 years. They have certifiably left their stamp on rock music history, and are perhaps the most well-known practitioners of thrash-metal out there, helping to bring it to the mainstream. (They also brought suing teenage music pirates to the mainstream. Thanks Lars!) They have 25 years of putting out quality metal albums, and I even liked Load; not so much Unload, it's unfortunate sequel. Although both did make innovative use of semen and blood for an album cover. Who should induct Metallica? The answer of course is obvious: the one, the only, the red headed menace: Dave Mustaine. That would make this year's ceremony the greatest thing ever. One wonders if Metallica'll let him play with them also. Really, Dave Mustaine is wholly responsible for Metallica being who they are today. With Mustaine and the rest of the band on stage, Megadethica would tear the house down.
And lastly, Run DMC is getting inducted, and boy do I have issues with this. They're rappers....it's not the rap hall of fame. If I'm being close-minded so sue me. But Michael you beseech, they innovated the rock/rap genre with their duet with Aerosmith on "Walk This Way". That's great I respond sarcastically-it was an awful song when Aerosmith did it-it's even more awful with Run DMC. I don't particularly like rap music, so I'm not qualified to say weather or not they should get into the rap music hall of fame or not, but they certainly should not be in the rock and roll hall of fame. Michael Jordan dabbled in baseball for a bit-that doesn't mean he should get his name on a plaque in Cooperstown. This is just pandering, plain and simple.
Your thoughts? Randy re-riffs: There's a Rock n Roll Hall of Fame?
Seriously, I see little reason to care about about who a faceless organization deems worthy of inclusion in an ambiguously defined institution. There are, obviously, many exlcusions from the RnRHoF, and inclusions like Run DMC, that make it fairly worthless.
The only reason this is really worth talking about is we may get to see some interesting performances. Two years ago we got Metallica covering Sabbath's Hole in Sky, marking the first time since 1979 a Black Sabbath song other than "Paranoid" was performed on television - if only Iommi and co. would have done it themselves! 'Tallica's performance featured Hetfield stretching his vocals way, way beyond his abilities, but it was adorable. Last year Velvet Revolver infamously covered Van Halen's "Ain't Talkin Bout Love", featuring Slash (intentionally?) butchering EVH's intro to the song and Scott Weiland (intentionally?) dancing like Mick Jagger throughout the performance.
With all that to live up to, who will induct Metallica?
Bare in mind, the last time there was a public tribute to Metallica, we ended up with Avril Lavigne doing "Fuel" and Snoop Dogg's moving rendition of "Sad But True". That said, it'll probably end up being Kid Rock. But, in a more reasonable world, given the fact that the last great metal record was Judas Priest's "Painkiller" in 1991, who would it be?
Motorhead - Would be nice. Lemmy did vocals on a cover of "Sandman" a few years ago, and Mikey Dee could certainly tear something like "Ride the Lightning" right open. But with only one guitar, they may not be equipped to do something like "Battery". Besides, their performance would only highlight Motorhead's idiotic absence from the hall.
Alice in Chains - Probably the best possible choice. Jerry Cantrell could probably rip right into "For Whom the Bell Tolls". Nice balance of notoriety and ability.
Slayer - Would be amazing to hear them do "Master of Puppets", but again would be awkward when Slayer themselves will surely be passed over.
Opeth - Clearly not going to happen, but the boys from Sweden could probably do a fairly competent "Orion". Not very exciting, though.
Random crap metal band from the past 15 years (Lamb of God?) - Next.
Clearly, the ideal lineup would be Dave Mustaine, Jason Newstead, Cliff Burton corpse, and Meg White Mike re-re-riffs:Holy crap, you weren't kidding about the Avril Lavigne cover of "Fuel". This is going to take years of therapy to get over.
Ok, from the rnrhof website:
"Leaders in the music industry joined together in 1983 to establish the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation. One of the Foundation's many functions is to recognize the contributions of those who have had a significant impact on the evolution, development and perpetuation of rock and roll by inducting them into the Hall of Fame."
See, they're not faceless...they're just nameless. Ok, so it's all nonsense, but the performances make it worth it. I did forget to mention the possibilities of Jason Newstead and Cliff Burton Corpse. Hopefully they'll be there. Furthermore, there should be a special segment where Newstead and Mustaine cry about how they were mistreated by the rest of the band. That would be awesome.
Not awesome: Metallica will probably do something with the remaining members of Run DMC. This will be tragic.
As for your Metallica tribute choices:
Motorhead: They're good enough to sound like they have two guitars.
Alice in Chains: Probably not. They're better than Metallica and would probably just show them up.
Slayer and Opeth: Too Scary.
Clearly the best scenario is Jeff Beck playing with Metallica-he could totally nail Master of Puppets.
As for your point about Motorhead not being in the rnrhof, completely valid. I suggest a hunger strike and then burning the place down. Final thoughts on any other exclusions? Randy has the final riff: Could they be any more vague?
This will likely open up a few questions for further Face-Offs, chiefly, does music evolve? (Answer: no). But let's focus for a minute on the fact that music itself isn't even mentioned in this criteria list, likely created as an out for them to just induct whomever the fuck they want.
Just give me Lemmy at some point and I'll be happy.
And there you have it, the only hall of fame that matters is the 411mania hall of fame. Join us next week when we discuss weather that cute girl working behind the counter at the record store is over 18. And as always we welcome all questions, comments and death threats. Click the link below.
I really think the HOF needs to redefine how many nominees are inducted each year. As it stand this time, we get 5 inductees. In some years, there might not even be five good bands. I think, like baseball, they need to induct only 2 a year tto:
1) Make it mean something
2) Save some inductees for 10 years from now
I can see where RUN-DMC could be nominated but it seems to me that the rock hall has become the pop hall and that they really need to be a bit more discriminating in the selection process.
Posted By: wemedge (Guest) on January 21, 2009 at 12:26 AM
Did I miss the sarcasm of your printed words? Cause last time I checked Jeff Beck was dead. At least when speaking about the incredible bassist Clif Burton you added the "Corpse" to the end.
Here's hoping MegaDave and NewJay induct Metallica and p*ss and moan about how the band was better with them in it!
Posted By: The Outcast Legend The Wolf (Guest) on January 21, 2009 at 07:16 AM
Yes, the 411Mania hall of fame is the only one that matters, since this is the only site I really look at.
Posted By: Ant-LOX (Guest) on January 21, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Any institution that calls itself the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and has not yet inducted either Kiss or Rush has absolutely zero credibility.
Rush: A rarity in that they are a classic rock artist that has not been content to rest on their past laurels. They continue to put out very good music and are more than willing to display that when they tour live. Throw in the fact that you have three of the most talented musicians ever, and that they are very influential, one would have to be deaf to not realize they belong.
Kiss: Not my cup of tea, but even I can recognize how much of a contribution they have made to the music industry. Without Kiss, live shows would be very different. Along with Alice Cooper, they brought the bombast and theatricality into live music. Hell, even Henry Rollins was able to get into Kiss live, and you know how hard he can be to impress.
Posted By: Michael L (Guest) on January 21, 2009 at 08:56 AM
No, Jeff Beck is not dead.
Posted By: Jeff Modzelewski (Registered) on January 21, 2009 at 09:16 AM
Cause last time I checked Jeff Beck was dead.
Posted By: The Outcast Legend The Wolf (Guest)
Really!! You might want to tell him that he is dead. Dumbass
Posted By: Lucky (Guest) on January 21, 2009 at 09:31 AM
Possibly you're thinking of Jeff Buckley?
Posted By: Michael Adler (Registered) on January 21, 2009 at 09:34 PM
Doesn't the fact that Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials are getting inducted into the RNR Hall Fame (no matter how whacked out it is) warrant you at least looking them up to see who they are? Maybe if you pulled your head out of Metallica's ass you'd learn who they were.
Posted By: Jasper Jones (Registered) on January 22, 2009 at 04:44 AM
The Rock Hall spans over fifty years worth of material. Womack was in as a sideman, a category specific to guys that do great stuff, but don't get the spotlight. Little Anthony influenced a lot of other acts, and since they alway pick an act from years past for that reason, it was an appropriate choice. Which raises the question, if you don't know who these people are, why are you writing the column? If your knowledge of music history is little more than Wikipedia and a few back issues of Rolling Stone, don't bother!
Posted By: Cutter (Guest) on January 22, 2009 at 08:04 AM
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Mike riffs: This week the 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees were announced and I have some agreements and disagreements. I'll just go down the list.
Randy re-riffs: There's a Rock n Roll Hall of Fame?
