Under the Scalpel 2.05.09: U2, Plain White T's, Five Finger Death Punch

Posted by Mark Ingoldsby on 02.05.2009

U2 divides their fans, Plain White T's try to prove they aren't an 'acoustic ballad band' by releasing another acoustic ballad, and Five Finger Death Punch offer a radio-friendly song that works in the mosh pit.

"Under the Scalpel: Dissecting Pop Culture One Song at a Time" is a weekly column written by Mark Ingoldsby, songwriter and guitarist for the hard rock band A Simple Complex. For three free tracks that will rock your panties off, check out www.asimplecomplex.com

U2 – Get On Your Boots
Not As Disappointing As Chinese Democracy

Asking U2 fans if they like the band's new single, "Get On Your Boots," is a bit like shaking up a magic 8-ball. Responses vary wildly between "This song rocks!" and "Worst U2 song yet!" with a heavy mix of "It's growing on me!" and "After ten listens, I still hate it!"

Some fans are comparing the band's new experimental pop song to the redefining, breakthrough album Acthung Baby (think "Zoo Station" and "The Fly") while others are quick to liken it to their more embarrassing, gay bathhouse era albums, Zooropa and Pop (think "Lemon" and "Discothèque").

Unfortunately, trying to get U2 fans to agree on what is "good U2" versus "bad U2" is a bit like working out a peace plan between the Israeli government and the PLO. When it comes to discussing Ireland's biggest selling band, tempers flare, emotions take over, and people can get downright nasty.

But no matter how defensive the band's fans get, the big question remains, "Is this song an instant classic, an acquired taste, or the death knell for Ireland's most popular band?"

Before giving the answer, allow me to first present the facts.

Musically, the song is fairly similar to "Vertigo" but with a Nine Inch Nails electronic rock twist akin to "Survivalism" and "Discipline," minus Trent's darkness and aggression. Although the song draws a lot of comparison to Elvis Costello's "Pump It Up", to be bitingly honest, it's unfortunately much more reminiscent of Escape Club's catchy-but-corny hit "Wild Wild West," especially due to the placement of Bono's vocals.

In typical later-U2-style, the lyrics are vague, cryptic, generic, and somewhat intriguing – saying a lot without saying anything too specific. I've heard every theory about the song's meaning from being a peace anthem to a request for American pop music to recapture its prior greatness. But, with lyrics like "Candy floss ice cream" and "Satan loves a bomb scare," your guess is as good as mine.

Whether or not die-hard U2 fans accept "Get On Your Boots" as "good U2," the masses are certainly enjoying it – the song debuted at #37 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Could this be because the song truly has accomplished re-redefining the band and taken them down another groundbreaking path? Or, could it be that certain lyrics such as, "Hey, sexy boots! Get on your boots, yeah!" and "You don't know how beautiful you are," roped in a few million oversexed rump-shakers looking for a flirtatious dance-rock hook?

My money is on the latter.

For those like me and fellow 411mania.com columnist, Jacob Crogie, who weren't very impressed by the upcoming album's debut single, the band's guitarist, The Edge, assured fans, "[No Line On The Horizon] is more musically diverse than any U2 album since Rattle And Hum, mixing hard rock, psychedelia, pop, electronica, dance, folk, country, spiritual music and orchestral shadings in what is a fantastically heady brew."

In other words, "If you don't think ‘Boots' is kickin', please buy our album anyway."

In conclusion, there is a very simple answer to my earlier question, "Is this song an instant classic, an acquired taste, or the death knell for Ireland's biggest band?"

And that answer is, "Yes. All three."

Now if you passionate and opinionated U2 fans will excuse me, I need to move to safer ground and resume peace talks with Hamas leaders in the Gaza Strip.

For Fans Of: U2 (of the 1990s), Coldplay (aka ‘U2 Lite'), Train, Radiohead… and Escape Club.
Rating: *** (3 out of 5)

Plain White T's – 1, 2, 3, 4
Move Over Provolone, Here Comes Something Cheesier

Even though Plain White T's has had moderate success with their upbeat, emo rock that sounds like a combination of Jonas Brothers, Blink 182, and Go Go's, the band is known most for their bittersweet, "More Than Words"-esque, acoustic ballad, "Hey There Delilah." When "Delilah" shot to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, success became a mixed blessing.

De'Mar Hamilton, the band's drummer, told trashthestage.net, "[‘Delilah'] doesn't showcase what our band is really like. People think we are an acoustic band, but that's not really us." Vocalist Tom Higgenson told kiwibox.com, "We have to show people that we're not just a 'Hey There Delilah' band."

So what did the band do next to fortify the image of PWT not being an acoustic "Hey There Delilah" band? Why, release another "More Than Words"-esque acoustic ballad, of course.

"I was trying to think of a simple way to say 'I love you' and I was just like '1, 2, 3, 4, that's very simple – count to 4'", Higgeson told an FM DJ, "I thought it would be cool to make something so simple into something that's kinda never been said before, never been thought of."

Gloria Estefan may want to have a word with Mr. Higgenson about his "never been said before" idea, seeing that 20 years ago, she had a hit singing, "One, two, three, four. C'mon baby, say you love me five, six, seven times."

Plus, I've got three words for Mr. Higgenson. And those words are "One Four Three."

Unfortunately, "1, 2, 3, 4" is nothing more than an obvious attempt to recreate the band's earlier success by photocopying "Delilah."

The problem is that "Delilah" had an inexplicable charm and contained memorable lines like, "Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way," while "1, 2, 3, 4" is cornier than a Des Moines farm hand standing in a pile of shucked husk.

"There's only one way two do three words,
Four you: I love you,
There's only one way two say those three words,
And that's what I'll do: I love you."

A cover of Raffi's "Six Little Ducks" is reportedly in the works.

"1, 2, 3, 4" debuted on Billboard's Hot 100 this week at #91 and has reached #69 on Billboard's Hot Digital Songs, showing that people still apparently love their emo acoustic ballads wrapped in deli paper and labeled "CHEDDAR – 0.7 LBS @ $4.49/LB."

As for me, I'd almost prefer "Lovebug" by Jonas Brothers instead.

Almost.

For fans of: Jonas Brothers, Raffi
Rating: * (1 out of 5)

Five Finger Death Punch – Stranger Than Fiction
Heavy Enough For Moshing, Rock Enough For FM

After the unexpected mainstream success of their first single, L.A. metal band Five Finger Death Punch knew that no other songs from their debut album were radio-friendly. So, during a break in touring, the band hit the studio.

"[On] a few stops on [the All That Remains/Chimaira] tour, [Lead Vocalist] Ivan [Moody] could barely speak. He saw his doctor and found out he strained his vocal chords from overuse. We had to cancel a bunch of shows to let him rest," 5FDP Guitarist Darrell Roberts told Pulse Magazine, "During that downtime we started recording a couple tracks at Jonathan Davis' studio in LA."

"Stranger Than Fiction," one of the band's new songs, has become the band's third successful single with 17 weeks on Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks Chart under its belt. Although it is mellow compared to the rest of the album, this song should put a little hair on the nuts of the Johnny Douchebags who think bands like Nickelback are metal.

After a short, somber intro, this track explodes into chunky guitar riffing and thundering double bass drum hammering that pound like a well-oiled jackhammer. Moody's vocals alternate between a deep, guttural speaking voice reminiscent of Phil Anselmo, known best as lead vocalist of the now-defunct metal band Pantera, and a mid-range howling that sounds a bit like Jonas Renkse of Katatonia.

The song's title is presumably based on the old adage, "Fact is stranger than fiction." The lyrics are aimed angrily at an abusive person who pushes those who care about him/her away. The song asks if being deserted was this person's goal, or if that was the only way this person could communicate that they were suffering too.

Is this what you wanted to be?
Alone standing by yourself?
Is this all you wanted to be?
Or was that a cry for help?

If you like songs that walk the line between hard rock and heavy metal, do what I did and put this song into your music mix. It not only kicks ass musically, but the powerful lyrics are able to evoke both rage and melancholy at the same time.

Should you decide to get the band's full album, be sure to get the re-released edition because this song and the band's second single, "Never Enough," are not on the original release of The Way Of The Fist.

For Fans Of: Disturbed, Pantera, Machine Head, Sevendust, Slipknot.
Rating: **** (4 out of 5)