The Singles Guy 02.11.09: Crack A Bottle, Let Your Body Waddle
Posted by Jacob Crogie on 02.11.2009
This week we get the latest from Slim Shady, a "rock" track from Lil' Wayne, some c-rap from Soulja Boy along with a track from Coldplay and an amazing song by Razorlight. With Valentine's Day on the way, we look at my top 5 love songs! It's all here and more in the latest edition of The Singles Guy!
And the countdown to reading week is in full swing here...only an English Paper on Paradise Lost and a Psychology project on Neural imaging left...yay? Got some big names this week...so let's do this!
Eminem ft. 50 Cent and Dr. Dre- "Crack a Bottle"
Slim Shady is back! Let white boys everywhere rejoice! Honestly though, its nice to have him back he has a wealth of talent in comparison to some of these plugs that have hit it big lately. This song is catchy as hell, as hard as I try to hate on this one, I can't, the piano and backbeat are burned into my memory, this track has all the toe-tapping, head-bobbing awesomeness I can handle. Em really brings his best here, going all out Slim Shady, the chorus is incredibly stupid...almost brilliantly so, I can't stop singing it anyways. I miss the disgustingness of Shady, and its out in full force in his verse. When Dre comes in, the song gets more awesome...especially when he starts talking about crashing his Benz...it sounds like they are mocking the rap scene of today, with all its focus on money and hoes. Then Fitty comes in...dude's made his life off of that schtick...is he self-mocking? Or he is just stupid? Anyways, this track is growing on me more and more from the first listen, worth a download at the very least.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: "So crack a bottle/let your body waddle/Don't act like a snobby model/you just hit the lotto"
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3.5/5
Lil' Wayne- "Prom Queen"
Oh shit...Lil' Wayne does rock. What can I say? This is total bullshit in every possible way. This reeks of ignorance and superiority complex...how hard can it be to write a rock song right? I'm a rapper, ergo I can be a rock star, it's not like they have any special talents, right? Travis Barker may have been able to save this shit fest, but smartly, he avoided this "rock" project. The subject matter sounds straight out of Hinder...but lacking the intelligence level...Yes, I just said that...Lil' Wayne's rock shit is worse than Hinder. He lost all the wittyness that he has in rap, and takes himself way too seriously here. He uses his trademark auto-tune crap...on a rock song. The affect is as expected horrible.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: What a trainwreck.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness:0.5/5
T-Pain ft. Chris Brown- "Freeze"
Great, two shitty "artists" on one track, should be an epic fail. Guess what...it is an epic fail. The song is just horrid with horrible music, and for a song about dancing, I find it near damn impossible to do so to this track. Too much auto-tune, makes my head want to explode. Furthermore, there is this kind of random beatboxing section that sounds like JT circa 2000...GTFO. This entire song just sums up why I hate them, horrible, just horrible.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: No comment.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0/5
Soulja Boy ft. Sammie- "Kiss Me Thru The Phone"
Oh shit...can we possibly have two zeros in a row? It's looking damn possible barring some kind of miracle. Think of the title...that's the hook, and we wonder why Ice-T keeps taking shots at this no-talent hack. Get up outta my face, this song annoys the hell outta me. The bridge is horrid, Sammie does his best, he can actually sing, but the subject matter drags him down. The synth is annoying as hell, as is Soulja Boy's lyrics. Fail.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Is it over yet?
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0/5
Coldplay- "Life in Technicolor ii"
Well according to Mitch Michaels, our fearless leader here in the Music Zone, Coldplay are officially the biggest band in the world. That statement to me, says a lot about the world and very, very little about Coldplay. They are a bunch of poncey masturbators with little talent...OK. They are one of my guilty pleasures and only for tracks like "Yellow" and "Fix Me"...and one could possibly throw "The Scientist" in there as well. There is very little that they actually add to the music scene, just ask Joe Satriani. Here lies another stock Coldplay song and it is boring as hell. Sounds like everything else they have ever done, honestly it's putting me to sleep right now. They use the same weird piano technique from "Lovers in Japan"...except here, the novelty is lost. Poor effort.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Sounds like every song they have ever recorded.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 1/5
People in Planes- "Last Man Standing"
Finally, something I actually like. I had never heard of this Welsh band prior to picking up this track and was pleasently surprised. This Gareth Jones bloke can really sing and that is highlighted on this track. However, the focus is clearly on the main riff which seems to plod forth almost apocalyptically, moving towards the climax. The weird little solo thing is pretty good as well. The song itself has nice forward momentum, and its clear that these guys know what they are doing. I'll definitely be checking out some of their other work. Good potential shown here, solid indie-rock effort.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: The forward momentum throughout the track, especially in the riff.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3.5/5
Billy Currington- "Don't"
Time for our country interlude of the week. This track is currently performing quite well on the charts and deservingly so. Having never listened to Billy Currington before, I was surprised when I picked up this one. He seems to have some kind of R&B undercurrent while still being very country. I'm digging his groove here, and the build-up to the chorus is pretty impressive. Nice forward momentum throughout, the song doesn't drag on anywhere. To top it all off, there is a nice little guitar solo, which is nice to see in a country track. All in all, I'm digging this track, it stays away from alot of the problems plaguing modern country and avoids being generic in every way.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Pre-chorus buildup.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 4/5
SONG OF THE WEEK!
Razorlight- "Wire to Wire"
Being from Canada, I know very little about these guys...make that nothing. Apparently this Johnny Borrell is a gigantic douche. I couldn't possibly care any less, this track is too damn good for that. The piano is amazingly well crafted and really drives the song. Their lyrics are just surreally awesome, and the track has a really haunting feel to it. Vocally, there are some tight harmonies evident throughout. When the song picks up in the climax, I have a wow moment and can almost feel the pain in his voice. Just a beautiful track from end to end, the only complaint I have is that it is too damn short.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: "How do you love on a night without feelings?/She says love, I hear sound, I see fury/ She says love's not a hostile condition/ Love me, wherever you are"
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 4.5/5!
The Kickass Five Love Songs!
With Valentine's Day on it's way...I thought I'd let you in on my top 5 love songs!
5.Howie Day- "Collide"
I'm a sucker for this track...artistic credibility be damned!
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: It's kind of anti-awesome...
4.Edwin McCain- "I'll Be"
So sappy, so high school and so fucking epic.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: It's everybody's last dance.
3.The Righteous Brothers- "Unchained Melody"
Come on...how can this not be on my list. Remember that scene from Ghost? Wow...I just lost what little credibility I had left didn't I?
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: It's so wuvely.
2.Bryan Adams- "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You"
Canadian content of the week right here. This track is awesome. Almost went with "Heaven"...but the techno remix has ruined that one forever.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Robin Hood: Prince of Theives...That is all.
1.Meat Loaf- "I'd Do Anything For Love"
Two weeks in a row and the big man continues to rule my charts. Epic 12 minute masterpiece...fuck the radio edit.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: It's Meat Loaf...everything about him is epic.
So that's it for another week, be sure to tune in same time next week when we get all the latest and the greatest plus all the crap that everyone else likes...
