411 Music March Mayhem Tournament: Round 1 - Rock

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 03.05.2009

Your favorite rock and metal bands. Your favorite rock and metal albums. You vote. You decide who wins.



Welcome one and all to the inaugural 411 Music March Mayhem Tournament, destined to become the biggest annual competition in all of the recording world.

The concept is quite simple: 64 bands and singers from the realms of rock and metal. Each week, they'll put some of their best albums up against another band's best. And, each week, you will decide who does it just that much better. Winners will advance. Losers will take their respective walks into shame and obscurity.

And in the end, there can be only one. One band who you, the 411 readers, will decide is the ultimate in the world of rock. That band will be the 411 Music March Mayhem Champion for 2009. Kings of rock. Gods of guitar. Most favored in the halls of 411.

The bracket is above. As you can see, we like to do things big. And this tourney bracket is too big to even fit in the confines of a normal 411 column. Just click on it to make it readable.

The rules are basic: each week, two bands place two albums against each other. Fans vote which album is better. The loser walks. The winning band advances and places a different album into competition in the next round. Bands must use a different studio album in each round until they have exhausted their catalog.

And today, we take a look at the Rock half of the opening round. There are 16 match-ups. Read the stats and vote which album is better in each one. You can use the comments section below or, if you'd like to exercise your right to a secret ballot, send your votes to [e-mail] with the subject of "Round 1 Vote".

Tomorrow we'll look at metal's side of the opening round. Next week, winners will be announced and the second round commences.

So let your voice be heard! Who brings the thunder? Who makes you cum on and feel the noise? Who is the greatest? Who brings the MAYHEM?

OPENING ROUND: ROCK

Pearl Jam - Vs. Jacob Crogie: Come on...Pearl Jam vs flavor of the week Saving Abel? What a mismatch, Pearl Jam's Vs. is a critically acclaimed masterpiece at the height of the grunge movement. Artistically it is just sheer awesomeness, Eddie and the boys came out swinging on this album with some very agressive overtones. This album is Pearl Jam at their finest, calling out social issues of the day and not giving a fuck what the record company had to say about it. This album set a record for most copies moved in a week...with little to no advertising. They defied all convention, rejecting the label's cries for music videos and the album still became certified an astonishing seven times platinum. What the hell has Saving Abel done to deserve any chance against one of the greatest albums of the grunge movement and rock history in general. Nothing. GTFO.

VS.

Saving Abel - Saving Abel Mitch Michaels: Sure, Pearl Jam rocked in the 90's. But what have they done for us lately? Vs. is only notable for not being as bad as every Pearl Jam album released after it. Saving Abel is what it's all about today. Revved up rock doused with sex and booze. Saving Abel has "when you're going down on me/in between the sheets". Vs. has "don't call me daughter". Saving Abel has a hot piece of ass in blue jeans. Vs. has an ugly dog. This is an easy choice rockers!

Seether - Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces Mitch Michaels: There's just no denying how hard Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces rocks. "Fake It" was one of the biggest rock songs of 2007 and it's still blasting radio. In fact, the album gives you two #1 Modern Rock hits in "Fake It" and "Rise Above This". Anyone who is down with Seether and heavy rock that's still radio ready can attest that this album finds the band coming into their own.

VS.

Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand Jacob Crogie: Here's one that was a little closer. Although Seether's Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces was critically shit on, I still enjoyed it, it was good for what it was. However, when Franz Ferdinand burst onto the scene with their self-titled debut, I was immediately captivated with their brash brand of Brit indie dance-rock...yeah...that's right...they defy genre. The album is great musically, avoiding the overused clichés employed by Seether and was something fresh, different, and yet so retro. Throw this one on and dance your ass off for 45 minutes. Try doing that to Seether and see what happens.

No Doubt - Return Of Saturn Mitch Michaels: On Return Of Saturn, No Doubt made good on becoming a giant rock band. Sure, Tragic Kingdom broke them in with some monster hits, but Saturn showed that they were ready to play ball and try some major stuff. They weren't worried about isolating their old fans or keeping their new ones – they just wanted to stay experimental and true to themselves. So you get big hits like the peppy "Ex-Girlfriend" and the genre-bending "Bathwater", not to mention the pure pop goodness of "Simple Kind Of Life". A real winner.

VS.

MGMT - Oracular Spectacular Jacob Crogie: This one should get interesting, No Doubt is not one of my personal favs. However, I will always admit that they have a rather important place in music history. Also, this is when Gwen was actually putting out good music. However, MGMT completely blew me away here, I had heard good things about them, enough to pick up this album and I was not disappointed. These guys are at the height of the new indie movement for a reason, they are creative as hell. They are experimental and have found a way to throw everything together and come out with amazing and catchy tracks. electronica, psychadelia and indie rock meet here and the results are awesome.

The Offspring - Americana Jacob Crogie: With all due respect to Morrissey, I am not a huge fan. Chalk it up to inexperience I suppose. However, this Offspring album reminds me of a better time in their career, far away from the pretension that is slowly eating them from the inside out. They had humor; they had simple rhythms. Now they just have simple rhythms and have lost their humor. Screw Morrissey, this is the Offspring when they still had their balls, and they get my nod here.

VS.

Morrissey - You Are The Quarry Mitch Michaels: Americana is back when The Offspring had balls? Are you fucking kidding me Crogie? Americana was the beginning of a long shit period for the band, and it all kicked off with "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)". This was the fucking band that made "Self Esteem", and all of the sudden they're on to hanging with Redman? Fuck this noise, seriously. You Are The Quarry has "Irish Blood English Heart". You don't need anything more. Quarry was the return of one of the greatest pop/rock songwriters of all time. Americana had Calvert DeForest and "Get A Job". This is the first blowout easy choice of the whole tournament in my opinion.

Linkin Park - Minutes To Midnight Jacob Crogie: Let's begin by saying that until this feature I had never even heard Hollywood Undead…and I didn't miss much. You cannot honestly expect them to even come close to touching LP, in this competition or in the future. By the way, those masks suck. You aren't Slipknot as hard as you may try. I have been a big Linkin Park fan since they blew up with the release of Hybrid Theory and the smash "In The End". Hybrid Theory for me will always be their opus, this album is merely good. However, I must say both "Bleed It Out" and "What I've Done" blow me away every time, to me though this album just lacks the depth of the previous two. All in all, it sure beats the hell out of listening to Hollywood Undead.

VS.

Hollywood Undead - Hollywood Undead Mitch Michaels: Don't let Crogie's ignorance keep you from giving this band a chance. So what? They wear fucking masks? Like Slipknot was the first band to wear masks? That's like saying Roy Orbison was trying to be Ray Charles because he wore sunglasses. Hollywood Undead are like what would have happened if someone had listened to a lot of Limp Bizkit while looking at Fangora. How can that combination fail? They're the future of rap-rock. Midnight has struck for Linkin Park.

Incubus - Light Grenades Jacob Crogie: For me, this was a hard decision. You have two bands with a total of two great songs between them. "Decode" (which has grown on me considerably) and "Drive", respectively. Then you have two albums with one good song between them, the random #1 "Love Hurts". Well. I don't have much to say here other than ADVANTAGE Incubus.

VS.

Paramore - Riot! Mitch Michaels: I actually think Incubus has had a few more great songs than "Drive". However, I think Paramore has more staying power. By the time Light Grenades hit stores, Incubus had pretty much lost a lot of radio power. Yet somehow, the record managed to score #1. Still, Riot! is just the beginning for Paramore. If you're voting for No Doubt, you should pretty much punch the Paramore ticket too. Girls rock.

Kid Rock - Cocky Jacob Crogie: This is back before Kid got all shitty. Whereas I did not enjoy my Thursday experience, this album still, 7 years later, kicks some hardcore ass. Kid, when he is on his game, is brash, outspoken and has enough testicular fortitude that you'll know it. His fusion of southern rock and rap always worked for me, being a country boy. However, this also began the turn of Kid towards crossover hits. "Picture" is a country classic that they actually did pretty well. And now we get "All Summer Long" or as I like to call it "Werewolves of Alabama"...which isn't even country and still took over the charts.

VS.

Thursday - War All The Time Mitch Michaels: I really love Cocky, but Crogie has a good point – it begat "All Summer Long". And that is NOT cool man. This is a giant mismatch – the Detroit rap rocker vs. one of the most important post-hardcore bands of the late 90's. War All The Time was their major label debut and also a Top 10 album. It's arty, it's fragile and it avoids the trappings that a lot of the other plethora of post-hardcore acts were falling into on the majors at the time. Just a great, earnest album.

The Fray - The Fray Mitch Michaels: Jason Mraz has annoyed me ever since his breakout hit, "The Remedy". That video had him wearing a stupid fucking sideways cap that made me want to punch him in the lip. These days, he's wearing a fedora that makes me want to punch him in the balls. Plus, his latest single from that album has him duetting with Colbie Caillat, who makes me vomit from my nose and then on my toes and she really blows, choke her with panty hose. The Fray had an amazing debut album and seems to have inherited Coldplay's more introspective, tender side. The Fray features some nice piano-driven tracks and solid pop/rock songs. Plus, best of all, no dumbass hats.

VS.

Jason Mraz - We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things Jacob Crogie: I had high hopes for the latest Fray album, and said so in the recent 411 Music Roundtable. Turns out Santoro was right. I heard "You Found Me", which was amazing, and cannot remember any other track off of the album. Nothing stood out. It was just a compendium of mediocrity. Now, it is my opinion that Jason Mraz is overrated. Just someone else for the indie sheep to jump on along with Death Cab and Dashboard. However, "I'm Yours" is awesome and if you have the opportunity, find the alternate acoustic version which in my opinion is a much better song than the over produced pop radio ruler. All in all, Jason better enjoy his fifteen minutes, he will never catch magic in a bottle again.

Rise Against - The Sufferer & The Witness Jacob Crogie: Here comes the flaming "stupid fag hatin on AC/DC whut the hell, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long' is an amazing track to bone to, he's probably never touched a woman in his life, what are you, 12 years old?" etc. Highway to Hell is an absolute classic, I agree. Easily the best album of AC/DC's storied career with some actually underplayed cuts like "Touch Too Much". However, I am tired of being bombarded by them. Don't get me wrong, I do love them, but what impact does their music have? What is their message? They are good old fashioned rock. But here, I go with one of my favorite modern bands. Listen to "Prayer of the Refugee" and you will understand my choice. These guys are using music as a forum, the foremost political force other than St. Bono and his Stooges. In 30 years, when history looks back upon Rise Against, you should expect to see them above AC/DC as one of the most influential bands of all time.

VS.

AC/DC - Highway To Hell Mitch Michaels: Hating on AC/DC Crogie? What are you, some kind of stupid fag? History will see Rise Against above AC/DC as one of the most influential bands of all time? I'll just let the stupidity of that statement sit for a while. It's been 30 years and AC/DC ALREADY stands as one of the most influential bands of all time. Anyone who's went out and rocked a riff for the sake of the fucking rock (and maybe getting some after the show) has dreams of being Angus Young. It's FACT. And I don't hate Rise Against – even when most modern punk makes me sick, I kind of dig them. But you say "No stop sign/Speed limit", people know you're ready for a good time. Who knows any lines from "Prayer of the Refugee"?

The Killers - Hot Fuss Jacob Crogie: WHAT A CLASSIC! I remember buying Hot Fuss"after watching the original videos for "Mr.Brightside" and "Somebody Told Me" on MTV2. Remember when they actually played music on that channel? Anyways, I purchased it and it got the shit played out of it. There is not a single bad song on the album and it doesn't get the critical recognition it deserved. Critics who know more than I continue to label the band as shallow and then talk up acts like The Ting Tings (that's for you Dingleberry). I cannot say enough good things about this album. I still know every word of every catchy as hell dance-rock masterpiece on this record, and Fall Out Boy be damned. FOB sucks, and we all know it...whiny little bitches.

VS.

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High Mitch Michaels: Is there a gayer album than Hot Fuss? "Andy, You're A Star"? "Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll"? DANCE ROCK? As gay as I find Pete Wentz, I don't think he's gayer than the Killers' debut. And that was BEFORE Brandon Flowers grew the moustache! Besides, this FOB album has "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs", "This Ain't A Scene" and a cover of "Thriller"! "Thriller".

Guns N' Roses - Use Your Illusion II Mitch Michaels: Unless you're throwing Use Your Illusion I against this, it's not a hard decision. "Civil Fucking War". What else needs to be said? I just can't understand why people pan Chinese Democracy so much when it picks up right where this sweeping epic left off. There are rock classics and this is one of them – the last hurrah of 80's hard rock.

VS.

Theory Of A Deadman - Scars And Souvenirs Jacob Crogie: What can I say, I'm a homer through and through. Sure, Use Your Illusion II is an absolute classic, but there is something to be said for some good old fashioned Canadian rock. Sure, you can say they sound like Nickelback, but to me, they have 10x the balls and are putting out solid modern rock tunes. Did I mention they are Canadian? That has a lot to do with my support on this one, but honestly I tabbed Scars and Souvenirs in my top albums of the year and I still love it. "Hate My Life" is one hell of an epic sing along while "So Happy" and "Bad Girlfriend" are guilty pleasures, full of head banging awesomeness. LET'S GET SOME CANADIAN CONTENT INTO THE NEXT ROUND!

Nickelback - Silver Side Up Mitch Michaels: When it comes to pure hitmaking power, no one beats Nickelback in the 2000's. This six times platinum album not only gives you the giant hit "How You Remind Me", but you also score one of my favorite B-sides from the group, "Woke Up This Morning". Nickelback is sort of the progenitor of the fusion of modern radio rock and sex. That may seem like an odd statement when sex and rock have been married for years, but the 90's were a weird time. Nickelback brought the fucking back to popular rock music, thus begetting Puddle of Mudd, Saving Abel and all those other big riff and tits bands.

VS.

The All-American Rejects - Move Along Jacob Crogie: Silver Side Up is Nickelback's only good album, and what an album it was. The anger and emotion pervasive throughout was palpable. Then they went and sold their souls, betraying this fan right here, and for that I can never forgive them. AAR are very underrated and Move Along will always go down as their opus. Hopefully, they can get their career back on track with a slightly better album than the recent When The World Comes Down (fuck you Eric Valentine). However, musically they are extremely talented and I defy anyone to listen to "Move Along" and not start tapping their feet, then bobbing their head and finally all out screaming along to one of the best pop/punk songs I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.

U2 - The Unforgettable Fire Jacob Crogie: Not even close in my humble opinion. Sure, Shinedown have their moments of awesomeness and their most recent track "Second Chance" is a certified smash, but how can anyone compare them to U2 at the height of their awesomeness? Falling between War and The Joshua Tree, this album is one of their very best. It spawned the smash "Pride" and still holds up well today. Not as awesome as some of their other works, but still a solid mid-80's U2 album. Shinedown couldn't hold a candle or a spoon to them.

VS.

Shinedown - Leave A Whisper Mitch Michaels: If this had been Shinedown vs. Joshua Tree, it would be a different story. Leave A Whisper was Shinedowns big breakthrough. It's their only platinum album and features FOUR Top 5 Modern Rock hits, including a LYNYRD FUCKING SKYNYRD cover. Plus, you can't hear "Fly From The Inside" without getting pumped. Not only that, but Shinedown have only gotten better since then. U2 are an amazing group, but what did The Unforgettable Fire give us? The introduction of Brian Eno, who helped the slow slide into the "Discotheque" era. Then you get "Pride" and a tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr. Yawn.

Coldplay - X&Y Mitch Michaels: X&Y isn't Coldplay's best album, but it was an interesting response to Rush Of Blood, which proved they weren't one hit wonders. Still, it's got "Speed Of Sound", which is one of the best songs of this decade. Hinder, on the other hand, turn out the WORST fucking song of the decade with "Lips Of An Angel" on their debut. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND DUDE?!? This song annoyed me for over a year.

VS.

Hinder - Extreme Behavior Jacob Crogie: This is how much I hate Coldplay. I pick rock's biggest group of douchebags over them. "Fix You" is an epic track but honestly I find them to be boring and uninspired. A bunch of poncey masturbators in the words of Johnny Rotten. Hinder on the other hand are the kind of guilty pleasure rock that I find so appealing. I don't care what you say, "Lips of An Angel" is a great song. Impossible to not song along with at that. All in all this is just an album to bang your head to, with no delusions of some far off artistic grandeur. It doesn't pretend to be anything else, unlike Coldplay. All they can do is pretend. And rip off Joe Satriani. Douchebags.

Bruce Springsteen - Born In The U.S.A. Mitch Michaels: It takes a lot for an album with the picture of a man's ass on the front to win me over, but damn it, this one does it before the first side is over. SEVEN Top 10 singles. Could anybody fucking do that 25 years later? Impossible. Two more album tracks even went Top 40 Mainstream Rock. That means 75% of this album charted. Born In The U.S.A. defines commercial success, but it also defines what is so amazing about Bruce Springsteen when he gets with E Street and just lets it fly.

VS.

Kings Of Leon - Only By The Night Jacob Crogie: I love Bruce Springsteen and I understand the importance of Born in the U.S.A. However, I hate "Dancing in the Dark". This kind of synth rock that he was putting out does not appeal to me. I am a purist who enjoyed Nebraska and thinks "Born to Run" is one of the top five songs of all time. I like Bruce on "Jungleland" and "Thunder Road" and I hate "Glory Days" and find "Born in the U.S.A." merely tolerable as a song...and as an album. That brings me to Kings of Leon, a band who have finally made inroads on the American market after years of success elsewhere. "Sex on Fire" is everything rock should be in this day and age, catchy as hell with amazing instrumentation. This album is far from done with "Use Somebody" flying up the charts and another single due in March. Sorry Bruce, Kings of Leon by imitating your early work deserve the nod here. I'm glad you have stopped with the synth crap and are back to making real, rootsy, rock and roll!

Radiohead - Kid A Jacob Crogie: I did not enjoy Infest at all. Really, I have never enjoyed a full Papa Roach album. They are hit and miss at best, but when they hit they are catchy head banging rock that isn't to be toyed with. When they miss, they are a bunch of simpering posers with delusions of being a metal band. Whereas Radiohead has no delusions of anything, they have proven to be one of the most creative and innovative bands coming out of the 90's. Their work is often trippy and always very strong instrumentally and lyrically. These guys know how to write music, while Papa Roach seeks to imitate, to join in with the crowd. Radiohead runs shit.

VS.

Papa Roach - Infest Mitch Michaels: How anyone can sit and say they enjoy any Radiohead album that's not Pablo Honey and call themselves a rock fan is beyond me. Radiohead are like a fucking painting. If I want to see a painting, I'll go to a museum. If I want to rock out, I'll buy a fucking Papa Roach CD. Infest gave us "Last Resort". Kid A gave us the 2001 Grammy Award-winner for Best Engineered Album. Ooh, so artistic. In fact, Radiohead was so afraid the album wouldn't live up to the anticipation in the rock community that they purposely set out to LOWER people's expectations by not releasing any singles.

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There you have it. The match-ups for Round One. Now it's time for your voice to be heard. Use the comments below (or send an email to [e-mail] with the subject "Round 1 Vote") and pick your winner for each of the sixteen matchups.

Just to refresh, here they are again:

1. Pearl Jam, Vs. or Saving Abel, Saving Abel
2. Seether, Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces or Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand
3. No Doubt, Return Of Saturn or MGMT, Oracular Spectacular
4. The Offspring, Americana or Morrissey, You Are The Quarry
5. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight or Hollywood Undead, Hollywood Undead
6. Incubus, Light Grenades or Paramore, Riot!
7. Kid Rock, Cocky or Thursday, War All The Time
8. The Fray, The Fray or Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things
9. AC/DC, Highway To Hell or Rise Against, The Sufferer & The Witness
10. The Killers, Hot Fuss or Fall Out Boy, Infinity On High
11. Guns N' Roses, Use Your Illusion II or Theory Of A Deadman, Scars & Souvenirs
12. Nickelback, Silver Side Up or The All-American Rejects, Move Along
13. U2, The Unforgettable Fire or Shinedown, Leave A Whisper
14. Coldplay, X&Y or Hinder, Extreme Behavior
15. Bruce Springsteen, Born In The U.S.A. or Kings Of Leon, Only By The Night
16. Radiohead, Kid A or Papa Roach, Infest

Who rocks? Who rocks more? And who just plain sucks? Tell us now. The results and Round 2 will be up next week. The metal side will be up tomorrow. This war is just beginning.