The Singles Guy 03.11.09: Is It Saturday Yet?
Posted by Jacob Crogie on 03.11.2009
Bryan Adams hits London this Saturday! This should be epic! Much like the Kickass Five which revolves around Canada's most successful exports. This week we get a collaboration between JT and Ciara along with that song from "Slumdog Millionaire" and the latest from Flo Rida. Finally, the Song of the Week is a Singles Guy first, why not stop buy for your weekly dose of virulent sarcasm?
Watchmen=EPIC MOVIE! I hear all this hate being dropped on it but I was absolutely blown away by the visual presentation, along with the performances of Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffery Dean Morgan and Patrick Wilson. The scenes using music were brilliant, some commentators who know more then me were bagging on one specific scene where Cohen is employed over an epic love fest, which to me, was the most amazing scene in the entire movie. Shows what I know...anyways, Bryan Adams is on his way to Londontown this Saturday and I'm about to lose my mind, is it Saturday yet?
Ciara ft Justin Timberlake- "Love Sex Magic"
Well, if there is one creative force that could possibly save Ciara's career at this point, its JT. This song is a great slice of dance-pop, with all the elements that make JT one of the biggest stars of today. It's got the throbbing back beat drawing straight from the 70s with a catchy hook that draws you in and soon you cannot help but move along with the beat. Not a revolutionary, or amazing track by any means but it has enough to warrant a listen. They aren't reinventing the wheel here, JT and Ciara are giving you a song to get your grind on. One major problem I have is the pathetic and totally unnecessary bridge which for some reason decides to grind the song down to a halt.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Justin threw Ciara a bone here.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3/5
A.R. Rahman ft. The Pussycat Dolls- "Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)"
Fuck this. Honestly, can the Pussycat Dolls whore themselves any further, they are simply capitalizing on the unexpected success of "Slumdog Millionaire". What the hell!?!? The song itself is totally unnecessary, simply a cash grab remix with a bunch of talentless sluts and their record company pimps trying to make more money. Lyrically the song is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and musically, they just bastardized an acceptable track. GTFO! What a waste of my time to even have to listen to this crap.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Did you not read the review?
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0/5
Flo Rida ft Pleasure P- "Shone"
So...you are going to follow up "Right Round"...with this? What a let down! Instrumentally the track is pretty solid with some nice distortion and bass, will do the trick in the clubs of that there is no doubt. The thing missing from this track is the catchy lyrical stylings prevalent throughout "Right Round", which to me, set a bar for Flo Rida and showed what he was capable of. This has limited potential in comparison and I still can't really tell you what the song means. Perhaps because I pronounce words fully, I don't get it, however, the title fails to illustrate just how stupid the lyrics are.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Follow-up Fail.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness:1/5
UGK- "Da Game Been Good To Me"
Oh crap. This should be an interesting review, the title is enough to drive me crazy. Why not just say "the" instead? It makes you look like an illiterate hack, oh wait, thats what you guys are! Musically, I dig this track, the simple guitar riff is cool with some solid bass action. It is in the lyrics that this one loses me, possibly because I have no idea about "Da Game"...Rap about something relevant you fucking plugs. OK, that was a little harsh but you get the idea, I get it...you are hardcore, you pimp hos and pop nukkas...grow up and get a real job or at least become literate.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Guitar in the background.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness:1.5/5
Yeah Yeah Yeahs- "Zero"
Apparently these guys are kind of a big deal but I never really understood the hype. The album "It's Blitz", which this track comes from, is already being talked up as an instant classic and all that garbage. That is not to say that this track is bad, instrumentally, it is borderline awesome, however I absolutely despise Karen O's vocal stylings. Frankly, I despise her in general but that is a story for another day. Nice synth work done throughout, however I have no idea what she is singing...at all. Well, looks like another track all the indie sheep will jump on, meanwhile, I have no use for it at all.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Synth-awesome
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 2.5/5
Peter, Bjorn and John- "Nothing To Worry About"
Shut up you annoying little children. That is all. This song was an early contender for Song of the Week honors right up until the chorus when the little children came back! It makes an incredibly enjoyable song into something annoying as hell. The kids are horrible with their shrill annoyingness. ICK! Instrumentally its pretty solid indie rock, and doesn't really stand out. It's catchy as hell though...but the annoying kids just ruin the entire track...its so repulsive.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Annoying children...AAAAHHHHH!
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 3/5...would be easily a 4 if the usage of children was more limited.
Gord Bamford- "Little Guy"
Time for some Canadian(sadly.) country music. This song is one of those mushy numbers which seek to capitalize on your base emotions and make millions of dollars. It's about having a kid is what I would wager...its pathetic in its heartfelt goodness. Stop it. I DO NOT WANT EVERY COUNTRY SONG TO HAVE SOME KIND OF HEART WARMING MESSAGE! FUCK! The lyrics and music are just so generic, maintaining a pop feel while over blowing the almost forced country twang. This song is fail from beginning to end. Usually Bamford avoids all this touchy feely crap, for some of his actually good work, pick up "Stayed 'Til Two" or "Postcard from Pasadena" which are both catchy as hell tracks.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: No. You will not steal these emotions.
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 0.5/5
SONG OF THE WEEK!
Johnny Reid- "A Woman Like You"
Not only do we get two Canadian winners in a row, we have a Singles Guy first, a Country track rules the roost! Johnny Reid is a drastically underrated Scottish-Canadian singer-songwriter who has yet to get noticed in America. Some of his other great tracks include my personal favorite "Out of The Blue" along with "Darlin'" and "Thank You". He has one of the most amazing raspy voices that sounds vaguely like Rod Stewart. Johnny's music combines elements of modern country while still staying close to the traditional country roots, heavily featuring slide guitar, fiddle and harmonica. Lyrically, its a stock love song, but the feeling Johnny puts into it is palpable. If you like real country, not the heavily pop influenced garbage out there, this is the guy for you.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Harmonica...fiddle...slide guitar...THIS IS COUNTRY
The Arbitrary Rating of Goodness: 4.5/5 Let's go CANADA!
Well...embedding is disabled...and this is the only clip posted so here is a link. TRUST ME...CHECK IT OUT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWu7JCuJrKY
The Kickass Five Bryan Adams Songs!
Time for some awesome Canadian content and with Bryan Adams on his way to London this weekend, lets look back at the career of one of Canada's most successful exports!
5."Straight From The Heart"
WOW! EPIC LOVE BALLAD! Try to contain yourself, every time I here this one I start singing along.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Epic love ballad...perhaps?
VINTAGE BRYAN ADAMS!
4."Run To You"
So much energy! So catchy! My god, how can anybody hate Bryan Adams?
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Sing along chorus, trademark of his awesomeness.
3."Heaven"
Another epic love ballad, the DJ Sammy remix is also pretty awesome.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Bryan Adams=EPIC
2."Everything I Do (I Do It For You)"
THE single greatest power ballad...EVER.
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: Robin Hood Prince of Thieves!
1."Summer of 69"
THE SINGLE GREATEST SONG EVER RECORDED!
The Epic Moment of Insane Awesomeness: DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT?
So that's it for another week, be sure to tune in same time next week when we get all the latest and the greatest plus all the crap that everyone else likes...
