New Petition Wants R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" To Replace "The Star-Spangled Banner"
Posted by Joseph Lee on 03.06.2013
Seriously...
The Huffington Post reports that the now ten-year-old song "Ignition (Remix)" by R. Kelly has been selected as the new national anthem. At least, that would be the case if a new petition is able to succeed.
The petition wants to replace our current national anthem ("The Star-Spangled Banner") with the R. Kelly song. It asks President Obama to "recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen."
The song was released on January 22, 2003 and features Kelly saying that he "doesn't normally do this" before noting that "it's the freaking weekend" and he's "having [him] some fun."
The petition currently has almost 2,000 of the 100,000 signatures it needs to reach by April 2 in order for the White House to actually respond to it. However, the administration has usually ignored those that seem to make a mockery of the system.
On Monday, a White House official supported the petition that asked for cell phone unlocking to be legal. But before you take this latest petition seriously, previous petitions included a government-built Death Star. The government replied and said it would cast far too much money to actually make the planet-destroying space weapon.
Here's the full text of the R. Kelly petition:
We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it's the afterparty, and that after the party, it's the hotel lobby, and--perhaps most importantly--that 'round about four, you've got to clear the lobby, at which point it's strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.
If, for some reason, you'd like to change our national anthem, click here to sign.
