411 Politics Fact or Fiction: Week 126 - Embarrassing Republicans, Al Franken, More

Posted by Brandon Crow on 04.15.2009

A Farewell to Crow...

Hello 411 Politics readers, this is Jason Easley, former editor of the 411 Politics Zone, coming back for one last, special appearance to see my good friend Crow off.

Let's not waste any time. Let's get down to business.

Ding! Ding!

1. This week, Paul Krugman of the New York Times said, "the Republicans have become embarrassing to watch." He is absolutely right.

Brandon Crow: FACT. The Republican Party has absolutely become a circus. With elephant acts like Rush Limbaugh throwing down the gauntlet on President Obama on every single issue, to cannon-shooter Sean Hannity espousing how the rescue of the captive ship captain should actually be credited to George W. Bush because the naval ship from which the rescue mission was launched was actually commissioned under W, to Glenn Beck's "revival-tent" fainting speakers, to bareback horse rider Michelle Bachman-McCarthy's continual yapping about pro-America Americans and how American service organizations like the PeaceCorp are actually secret liberal re-education camps, and so forth… how can anyone argue that the Republican Party has not become an absolute joke?

Me, I'm just waiting for the rest of the clowns like Palin, Perry and Jindal to make us laugh as they all pile out of their little, tiny President 2012 clown mobile.

Ryan Latimer: FACT. Right now the Republicans are the go-to dipshits to point and laugh at for being so unintentionally amusing. The Democrats held this label for the longest time and never seemed to want to give it up; every other week it seemed they were blowing an election or electing guys like Howard Dean to the DNC. Now, the GOP is happily shoving their feet in their mouths with genius decisions such as putting Sarah Palin in a prominent position or (un)intentionally establishing Rush Limbaugh as a legitimate political figure.
Considering the last eight years, this is the least they deserve.

1 for 1. Electing Howard Dean to head the DNC wasn't a mistake. His 50 state strategy paid off huge for the Democrats.

2. Al Franken will be the next Senator from Minnesota.

Brandon Crow: FACT. I'll simply offer the same arguments conservatives gleefully tossed about after the Gore/Bush recount fiasco. Norm Coleman has lost on nearly every form of appeal he's filed. The legal system has revealed the pea under the correct shell each time regardless of the variety of shell game Coleman offered up as a way to hang on to his Senate seat. But don't take my word for it. Listen to what Joe Scarborough, a conservative commentator and former Florida Congressman said: "Seriously. Norm, I like you. You lost. Okay? Can we seat a senator so Amy [Klobuchar] doesn't have to do the job of two Senators? It is seriously not fair to constituents in Minnesota to drag this out any longer. It is over Norm. It is over."

It is over. I know some extreme conservatives out there refuse to understand and hear these three words whether it be a selective war, torture, the Bush years, tax cuts for the wealthiest, corporate welfare programs, or their egotistical attempt to build en era of Republican dominance, but swallow it. It. Is. Over.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to the next Senator from Minnesota, Al Franken. He's good enough, he's smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like him.

Ryan Latimer: FACT. I hate Al Franken, but it appears he won this one; but what the hell do I or anyone else really know. I must say this election reeked of bullshit from the get-go and still smells fishy, but if the Powers That Be say he won, he won. The voters have spoken. Dipshits.

2 for 2. Mr. Smalley goes to Washington!

Switch!

3. Spanish prosecutors announced before Spain's central criminal court (Audencia Nacional) that they are seeking prosecution of Bush Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and five others former Assistant Attorney General Jay Bybee, University of California law professor and former Deputy Assistant Attorney General John Yoo, former Defense Department general counsel and current Chevron lawyer William J. Haynes II, Vice President Cheney's former chief of staff David Addington, and former Undersecretary of Defense Douglas J. Feith) for greenlighting torture. You are glad to hear this news.

Ryan Latimer: FICTION. Hmm, "glad" perhaps isn't the appropriate word to use, nor is "angry," for that matter. While I want to make clear up front that I'm not a Bush administration fan by any means (especially when it comes to how bad they F'ed up the Iraq War), this whole torture issue, I believe, is a bit more complicated.

For starters, I'm not one to consider methods like waterboarding, sleep deprivation or loud rock music to be torture. I know many might not agree and I respect that, but if these are the events the Spain is hanging their case on, I'm not for it. When they start ripping off toe nails and branding them with hot irons, then go nuts, but people need to consider that while we may be the USA and should take restraint when gathering vital information from prisoners, we also can't get anything done if all we are doing to do is poke them gently and kindly ask them to stop being meanie heads.

However, if Spain has concrete info I'm not aware of, and they can prove it, lock the bastards up. I won't shed a tear.

Brandon Crow: FICTION. But only on a technicality. I agree with Ryan that "glad" isn't the correct word here. I can't stand the Bush Administration. I want to see everyone of those bastards fried in oil. I believe they committed criminal acts while in office. The "Bush Six" that Spain is trying to prosecute, especially, are guilty of war crimes, or at least advocating and then manipulating a path for war crimes. However, "glad" is just not the right word.

Having displayed my complete displeasure with Bush Co., even I'm not "glad" that this is happening. It's about time somebody took charge of it and initiated proceedings, but I don't believe anyone is ever glad that their president, their leaders, elected or not, committed such abhorrent, negligent, criminal acts so as to be brought up on charges for them. You think the Serbians who disagreed with Slobodan Milosevic's dictatorship was "glad" he went up for trial at The Hague? They may have felt somewhat vindicated in the sense that a criminal is being taken to account, but I don't think they were "glad" in the way of joy, or even pride. Nobody, no nation, no people is ever proud and celebratory when their leaders/former leaders get prosecuted. Ultimately, it reflects poorly on the nation and the people.

Just ask the Germans.

3 for 3. Possibly a 4 for 4 brewing.

4. Mexico's Ambassador to the U.S. Arturo Sarukhan blamed the US for the recent border violence because, according to him, 90% of all assault weapons seized by Mexican authorities are coming from the US. The US is in fact to blame for the increased violence.

Ryan Latimer: FICTION. If this turns out to be the case, America certainly plays a role in this violence and isn't doing us or Mexico any favors by supplying the ammunition, literally, for these lowlifes to carry out their plans. But dumping all of this on our lap—something Sarukhan appears to be doing here—is absurd and irresponsible. This two-country conflict consists of just that—two countries, both of which share the blame for this nonsense by failing to remedy their respective challenges.

The argument Saruhkan is bringing forth reeks of the age-old, lame theory that if a man decides to shoot another man in an alley with a rifle, it was all the damn rifle's fault. Never mind virtually every additional factor in this event (drug trade, weapons laws, social issues) that likely contributed, at least in part, to the shooting. All we have to do is get rid of all the guns, and viola! No more conflict! Join us all ‘round the campfire.

Brandon Crow: FICTION. Ryan said it so well. All I can say, while I try to stifle my snickering at the ambassador, is that Ambassador Sarukhan needs to reacquaint himself with the definition of the word "border." Apparently, to Sarukhan, borders only border one entity.

I have two dogs (a lab and a huskie). I take them to the dog park often so they can run like the nomadic creatures they were meant to be. My huskie has this habit of darting around the park at breakneck speeds a couple of times, and then she makes a bee line for the fence that separates the big dog area from the small dog area. Once there, she will bark and growl at any dog in sight. Soon, there are dogs on both sides "fence fighting."

According to Sarukhan, it's all the small dogs' fault, damn it. Why? Because they're the ones that supply all the pheromones that drive my huskie crazy. Never mind that my huskie has a crazy obsession with small, furry animals that remind her of food.

Sarukhan blames the US for the violence altogether. He might be, more accurate if he said the American guns initiate the conflict more. But even then, he'd be wrong. He does not take into consideration other factors like the drug trade, like the Mexican mules, like the simple fact that even if Mexico had nothing to do with the drug trade, the minute Columbians set foot on Mexican soil en route to delivering drugs in America, it becomes Mexico's problem also.

Sarukhan, Sarukhan, Sarukhan…(shakes head). Tsk, tsk…wag of my finger!

4 for 4. Crow goes out in a blaze of glory with a 4 for 4!

Bonus Question for Crow: You've enjoyed your time at 411 Politics.

FACT. I've been here four years and I have enjoyed every minute of it. I want to thank Ashish for the opportunity to write, to share my thoughts with the readership, and for giving me the freedom to try whatever I wanted to try. Just off the top of my head, I think I ventured into so many different kinds of columns/writing while at 411: biweekly column, the weekly column "Murmur of Crow," "The Weekly Monitor," "The Heineken Dialogues" with Josh White…being the first person in the zone to blog live from live China for a few weeks…and of course, after bringing Fact or Fiction to the zone, and handing it off to Jason Easley and Ryan Latimer, I came back and moderated it again…for an incredibly crazy 172 weeks! In total, I think I headed F or F for 175 weeks…that's a long time. That's a lot of stuff!

Definitely, props go to Jason Easley, my good friend, who talked with me, who advised me, who razzed me good naturedly, who worked with me and helped build the zone to what it is today…ah, the good old days, eh?

And certainly, I can't leave without saying thanks and goodbye to all the readers of the zone, whether you agreed with me or not, liked me or not. It was a pleasure to get your emails, and later, to read your comments.

A heartfelt thank you to all, and a fond farewell.

Jason the Moderator's Final Thought:

Next week, Mark Radulich takes over Politics: Fact or Fiction. Till then, this is Jason Easley, saying, one last time, "Crow out."