Your Kids Are Alright – A Look at the Exaggerated Threats of Stranger Danger and Internet Predators

Posted by Enrique on 04.22.2009

Relax...



I'm not blessed with children myself, but several of my friends are, and I can't help but notice that parenthood changes people. No, I don't mean it turns a once happy married couple into two miserable piles of sexless, passive aggressive goo (although it does). I mean it gives people an exaggerated sense of their offspring's risk of sexual predation. It seems as if once you have children, you suddenly come to the realization that the world is filled with dangerous pedophiles who might kidnap your precious little snowflake out of the backyard at any moment for a vigorous round of inappropriate touching.

This mentality was on display in a brief item that appeared on the indispensable Fark.com last week. Police in East Ridge, Tennessee were called in to investigate a "suspect who approached a boy walking to school and tried to coerce" the boy into being his special friend. Once police tracked down the suspect, it turned out to be much ado about nothing. For our story this week, let's examine the actual threat of stranger danger and online predators, and ask the untoward question – What makes you think your child is so damn sexy?

The story so far…

According to the report from WRCB, an elementary school student told his principal that he had been approached by a stranger who had attempted to persuade the boy to "go with him," and followed him until he got to school. (The story doesn't say if the stranger drove a dilapidated ice cream truck.) The principal called the police, who located the stranger the very next day, and thus the children of East Ridge were safe once again. Except they weren't in any particular danger in the first place:

Police Investigators interviewed the child and the man. The child now says the man had not spoken to him and had not been any closer than 20 to 30 feet. The child did state however the man made him feel uncomfortable. Police now say no crime has been committed.

However East Ridge Police want to commend the child for his quick action in reporting this incident to authorities. Officials want to encourage children to always report suspicious activity to police.

The fine reporters of WRCB are too gracious to state the obvious – the child lied. Once the man was in custody, the boy changed his story and said the stranger never talked to him. This man apparently did nothing wrong, and yet he was hassled by police because he made a child feel uncomfortable. Meanwhile, the boy was congratulated by police for his "quick action" in lying to his principal and making some poor fool withstand police scrutiny on suspicion of being within 20 feet of an overly sensitive child. What a world. Would it be impolite to suggest this boy is a sissy?

In my non-parental experience, I've noticed children aren't necessarily the best judges of character. It seems misguided to tell them it's appropriate involve the police every time they feel uncomfortable. It's one thing to give your children common sense advice about dealing with strangers; it's another thing to instill them with the irrational fear that predators lurk around every corner. That's not to say children are never abducted by strangers – one example is the tragic case of Jessica Lunsford, a nine-year-old Florida girl who was kidnapped and murdered in 2005 by a repeat sex offender. But such grim occurrences are exceedingly rare. Writing in the Gainesville Sun earlier this week, reporter Tom McNiff reminds us that stranger danger is a wildly exaggerated phenomenon:

First, violent crimes against children have declined steadily over the past generation. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that 81 out of every 1,000 children between the ages of 12 and 15 were victims of violent crime in 1973, compared with 44 out of 1,000 in 2005.

And, second, the worst of those crimes - kidnappings, rapes and murders - are being committed not by strangers hunting innocents but by family members, neighbors or trusted adults the family knows.

McNiff also reports that stranger abductions only account for about 0.03% of all kidnappings. If a child is going to be abducted, it's overwhelmingly likely it will be taken by one of its own parents in a custody dispute, not a stranger. Stranger danger is so low risk it's almost not worth talking about at all.

Another source of unsubstantiated worry for parents is the supposed threat of online deviants luring their children into inadvisable sexual encounters. It's natural for parents to be concerned about online predators, but like stranger danger, the menace is greatly exaggerated. In December, the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University issued a report following a nearly year-long study of the risks facing minors on the internet. The full report, which focused mainly on social networking sites, is available here. Despite worries that the internet poses increased risks of exploitation for minors, the study showed your children aren't in more jeopardy than usual:

The Literature Review shows that the risks minors face online are complex and multifaceted and are in most cases not significantly different than those they face offline, and that as they get older, minors themselves contribute to some of the problems. […]

Much of the research based on law-enforcement cases involving Internet-related child exploitation predated the rise of social networks. This research found that cases typically involved post-pubescent youth who were aware that they were meeting an adult male for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity. The Task Force notes that more research specifically needs to be done concerning the activities of sex offenders in social network sites and other online environments, and encourages law enforcement to work with researchers to make more data available for this purpose. Youth report sexual solicitation of minors by minors more frequently, but these incidents, too, are understudied, underreported to law enforcement, and not part of most conversations about online safety.

As much as it may pain parents to admit it, minors often willingly seek out sexual encounters online, most often with others their own age. As for online harassment, most of it is of the teen-on-teen variety. Although more research needs to be done, there's currently no evidence your children are more at risk of exploitation online than they are in your backyard.

Having children remains a popular lifestyle choice in America, and it isn't completely risk-free. However, it seems like a waste of energy to fret over horrible but highly unlikely tragedies that will almost certainly not befall your family. Why not just let your kids enjoy their childhood instead? I hear they grow up fast, so make the most of it, be happy, and stop worrying already. They'll be fine.