The Company We Keep
Posted by Paul J. Amore on 06.06.2009
Sometimes an evil corporation really is an evil corporation.
So I'm on vacation, visiting with my dear old grandmother, and that means one thing: daytime TV. I don't have TV at home; Hulu and YouTube are enough for me. So it's culture shock to see the sort of thing that those who don't work nine-to-five get to partake of.
The shows themselves are bad enough. If all you know is Jerry Springer, you ain't seen nothing. Any trashy couple can go on any number of shows with any number of Springer-clones and put their dirty laundry out for other people to smell. And there are the faux-court shows as well. Judge Judy is still around, plus at least five others. You'll never see in these courtrooms any lawyers, juries, or real evidence. You will see the lowest class of people getting yelled at.
These shows are dangerous. They peddle dollar-store morality and ten-cent schadenfreude. If you only get drunk and beat your wife one day a month, these shows tell you that you're not so bad.
But that's not the worst part. The advertisments are far more dangerous. They are designed to exploit the weak and the helpless. Lawyers to help you get money you didn't earn, then cash advances on your structured settlement. Schools that will train you to be a nurse/truck driver/computer technician, and then payroll loans to give you cash to hide from your creditors. You can see the person who is courted by such commercials by reflection, and he's not pretty.
I believe in as few laws as possible. That means that the ones that are there ought to be strict. Fraud is one legitemate crime. False advertising is fraud. It ought to be strictly enforced. So here we go:
"411Mania is the best Web site on the entire internet! It will ease the pain of your headache, and help soothe your acid reflux. If you participate in the 411Mania program, your insurance rates will go down in six months, we guarantee it. The federal government has approved our program to help you get out of debt and out of forclosure. It is your right. You cannot be turned down for this offer. Call today!"
Everything I said up there is perfectly legal. We could run that on a commercial and not be sued. There is some twisted logic to these. When I say the government has approved us, I mean we're not under indictment. That's not what a normal person would think, but it could be what we mean, so it's all legal. When I say we're the best Web site, it's up to another site to prove they're objectively better than us, or the claim stands. Easing pain? Can you prove that your pain level is equal to before? And the word help means that everything that comes after it has a legal value of null. So long as you're not claiming to do something, only help, you can claim whatever you like.
All the do-gooders out there who want to help the underprivileged underpaid underclass, instead of lobbying for free stuff for them—free money, free medicine, free food—how about using the force of government to clear all this confusion and make sure that the ads we see are representitive of the actual value of the product or service offered? Or if this isn't a government matter, how about some tv channel that vets its advertisers before cashing the check, or some commercials willing to be honest? Maybe some light can clear some darkness.
Yes, if there's one thing the government needs to do it's make sure people aren't lying.
This is almost as great as that column you wrote saying how we have to make sure that the government isn't the one doing the lying, like, you know, lying us into a war. Oh, wait...
And you're right, let's stop the "do-gooders" from giving people free stuff, like corporate tax cuts and free healthcare for politicians.
I think my favorite thing about conservatives is their complete lack of self-awareness.
Posted By: GaryML (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 12:42 AM
How about any entity that claims to provide NEWS be made to fact-check?
See how fast "Fox News" becomes "Fox Talk" if that happens.
Posted By: Shane O Mac (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 10:32 AM
Riiiiight GaryML,
Conservatives are the ones who lack self awareness...
Considering that Bush never lied to get us into a war, the guy who "lied" endorsed Obama (and he did not lie).
Considering that Liberals don't serve anything other than their own interests for bullshit causes I would becareful before accusing people of not being self-aware.
I assume you helped get the biggest conman in history into the whitehouse, the guy who fleeced Chicago school systems while touting education reform...the guy whose wife was given a job that did not exist for a ton of money, a job that has since never been filled again after she left...a guy who has not closed GITMO, pulled out of any wars, has voted to fund wars that are based on "lies", is keeping all the things that Bush did- but is increasing taxes across the board, spent all of our money in less then four months (ten times more than Bush in eight years)- and nobody knows how it was spent or where it is.
How self absorbed can you liberals be? You voted for a guy who has no record of ever keeping a promise...
Who gets people thrown off of ballots in a democracy. Who lied about every campaign promise he made.
What the fuck GaryML...how fucking stupid are you?
Obama is the biggest media coverup in history and you have the lack of balls to admit it.
You are just like every other liberal who voted for this guy- you always bring up Bush because you know your guy is a fucking hack conman.
Deep down you know- every little scripted event, every little raise in taxes, every little company bailout, every little company falling under government control...your guy is a dipshit.
Wait until cap and trade hits and you have to pay an extra 2-300 dollars a month on your electric bill...wait until the national sales tax hits and you have to pay 50 cents extra for everything at the store.
Then remember that this guy won't tax the poor- who by that point will be everyone who is not rich...
What are we left with? Ruin...
Fuck you asshole.
Posted By: The Spook (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Damn The Spook thinks he is so smart and I can see how he could get people to think he is too. But when you break down what he says there are never any facts, just opinions and hypothetical scenarios of "prepare for the worst." This guy is not smart.
Posted By: Matt (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 01:41 PM
This is all you've got. On every article, in every comment box you have two attacks against conservatives. Fox News and George Bush. Neither of whom promote politically conservative ideals, just religious ones. Every now and again Glenn Beck will get paydirt on one of his stances, but it isn't often.
So talk about how George Bush lied about Iraq. Gitmo still open? Sounds like a lie back in February. Middle class getting taxed? Sounds like a lie from last August. Are our troops still in the Middle East with no real withdrawal date in sight? Sounds like a lie from day one.
The funny thing is, even Nancy Skeletor can admit that Bush might have been misled with the information he received about WMDs. Obama was making campaign promises that he will never fulfill. What would you rather?
Posted By: The Man (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 02:01 PM
The Spook is one angry little man.
Posted By: GaryML (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 02:36 PM
Okay, that was unfair of me. I don't know if The Spook is a man or a woman.
The reason I posted my sarcastic comment in the first place is because this column does a good job of summarizing the general conservative attitude of "stay out of my business so I can get into yours." The point of this column was "I think the government should investigate claims made by corporations." In other words, truth in advertising. Fair enough. So you're saying that the government should monitor what corporations are saying in their advertising, and enforce the law if they're not being truth. Great. But in order to do that, the government needs to regulate those industries to insure that they're all following the same rules. Hence things like the FDA.
But wait - conservatives hate regulation! Corporations should be trusted to do what's right, because they know what's best. They'd never let a few dozen costumers get ill or die just to make a profit off of the other millions of clients they have, right? Right?
So when I read this column, this is what I see: Regulate advertising, but don't regulate the companies. Does that make any sense?
Just another case of a conservative who thinks one way until it effects him. Like Dick Cheney, ultra-conservative, now coming out in favor of gay marriage because his daughter wants to marry a woman.
And I love that classic last line: "Maybe some light can clear some darkness." For people who LOVED living in the dark for the last 8 years, it's interesting that NOW they want to know know what's going on. Ignorance is bliss I guess - as long as it's your guy who's in charge.
As for The Spook, have you had an original thought that you didn't first hear on Rush or Fox News? Talk about right wing talking points. Next you'll tell me that gays want to marry their box turtles and all liberals are girly men. You're an echo chamber of lamest kind. Maybe you and I can do the next Fact or Fiction. Here's a preview: your responses would contain zero facts.
Posted By: GaryML (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 02:49 PM
With a great deal of empathy for your column, you have an odd sense of value. How would we go about assigning nominal values for all of these products/services so as to not confuse the "not pretty" people.
What happened to good old fashion Freedom of Speech and Buyer Beware.
First, consistent with the Jim Cramer affair, anyone making life altering financial decisions based on something they saw on the television is an idiot
Although they spend considerable effort trying to convince us of otherwise, guess what, lenders are not on the side of borrowers.
If you need the Government to make sure lenders are on the side of borrowers, your an idiot.
How elitist of you.
Posted By: AdmChesterMynuts (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 05:23 PM
Gary,
1. The government lied in order to trick the public into a War it didn't want with facts that were not true.
2. Advertisers do not accurately inform the public about the products they have been hired to promote.
3. Therefore, Government is the only institution capable of judging truth in advertising.
I love the idea that referencing "The Government" is a policy solution to whatever so called problem without any thought to efficacy, effectiveness or cost.
Freedom of Speech, Free Markets Free People!
I don't like something.
Pull Government Lever.
Problem solved.
Posted By: AdmChesterMynuts (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 05:37 PM
'So when I read this column, this is what I see: Regulate advertising, but don't regulate the companies. Does that make any sense?'
This paradox is my main problem with the Republican party. Thank you Gary for hitting the nail square on the head.
Regulation is one of the topics that loves to divide the country. The Republicans claim the Democrats want to control everything through excessive regulation while Democrats claim the Republicans want to let the evil corporations rape us into submission. It's a war of rhetoric that gets us nowhere. Here's a thought that might calm the water in both categories: If you're going to regulate anything whatsoever, do it minimally and efficiently with highly educated AND intelligent people (and pay them enough so that bribes wont be an issue), and monitor the ONE thing that will rule out any other bullshit that crooks can throw at the public: Fraud.
That way both parties win, the public wins, and the economy wins. Yay pluralistic cooperation!
Posted By: The Man (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 06:19 PM
Don't know Judge Judy.
She represents what is woefully missing in a left wing society: personal responsibility.
Instead we get idiots pushing drug legalization, hugs instead of jail, and a leader who cowers in the face of radicals instead of standing up to them.
Posted By: Mikel (Guest) on June 07, 2009 at 06:49 PM
Fucking bring it GaryML- I will fact or fiction you right into oblivion dickface!
I got your fact or fiction swinging between my legs!
These are facts, GITMO is not closed...Obama has raised taxes...Cap and Trade will cause your energy bill to sky rocket...Obama's wife had a job created for her at a hospital, with more pay than her peers, that has never been refilled since she left...Obama has no timetable for troop withdrawls (and as an active duty military member I can promise you that)...His track record for education is a fucking joke...
Yeah Conservatives have an awful record at regulation- Bush deregulated energy at the personal request of his friend Ken Lay, President of Enron.
Bush and Clinton deregulated the housing market.
My problem with Obama is that he is a fucking liar...everything that he promised you dumb mother fuckers has been broken.
He has appointed lobbyist- hell, the Tax Cheat runs the treasury, and both he and Obama gave away a fuck load of money to companies with no accountability.
Obama promised a transparent government and it has been business as usual except this time they just went and spent all our money- and it is OUR money- without telling anyone of us where it was going.
I said months ago I would give this guy a chance- that lasted about five days when I realized he is a lying mother fucker.
Obama ran on lies and all you people who voted for him are fucking marks walking with ballons at the carnival...The game is rigged and you will never get your stuffed animal...
Want me to really blow your minds: I think gays SHOULD be allowed to marry...I don't give a shit.
They should not be able to sue a church that refuses to conduct the service- but they should be able to marry.
You know what else- not all welfare is bad...sometimes its good because we DO live in a society.
I also like civil rights.
Also Bush was not a conservative! He may have been a republican- he may have wore religion on his sleeve- he may have spent money on defense and limted regulation, but he spent a shit load of money...he grew the government...
But Obama has already done ten times as much spending and he's going to triple the government.
And I'm not angry- I'm fucking confused as to how so many people can be so stupid as to what Obama really is?
Google Chicago politics or Chicago education...Google Cap and Trade...Google Obama's voting record...
How do you not understand that all these welfare programs bankrupt governments- look at California!
Explain to me how you spend all the money that Obama did- increase welfare- and DON'T Raise taxes...
Who is going to pay taxes? Rich hollywood actors who support him? Politicans? It's us- the fucking "middle class"...and that makes Obama a liar.
Posted By: The Spook (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 12:45 AM
Oh look, Spook is back to "internet toughguy" mode, his way of saying "yeah, you're right, but your knowledge threatens me, so I'm going to insult you a lot, provide lots of rhetoric that has no backing, and pretend it makes me look cool."
Yawn...
And then we double the stupidity with Mikel and the "paint liberals with the sweeping false generalizations I hear on Fox News" attitude. Mikel, have you ever had an original thought? Or do you just spend every day cowering in fear in your basement because Fox News and Rush tell you that we're all out to get you?
And finally, for the author of this tripe of a column - Judge Judy, Jerry Springer, and all the other shows you're referring to? THEY'RE STAGED!!!!! The lead singer of one of our local Detroit bands has played 4 different people on Jerry Springer, and he's been on at least 2 of the judge shows.
Posted By: Scott B (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 10:45 AM
GaryML vs Spook
BOOK IT ASHISH!!!!
Posted By: stronelis (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 11:32 AM
With all the bitching, what I don't understand is didn't everyone take note last year that the GOP practically giftwrapped the white house to Obama? Until the GOP stops being a radical group and gets in line with what made them strong in the 80s, Obama-nation will continue past '12. Eject phonies like Rush, Coulter and Rove. Then watch the nation band behind the GOP.
Posted By: Lolzalot (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 12:48 PM
'The lead singer of one of our local Detroit bands has played 4 different people on Jerry Springer, and he's been on at least 2 of the judge shows.'
You're from Detroit, so any of your opinions about politics, the economy, and ethics are out the window from the get-go...
I kid, I kid...
Posted By: The Man (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 01:02 PM
One thing to add to the aggressive comment section today:
If it's worth taking the time in debating your point to tell the other side to "google" something, it is certainly worth the time to find said information yourself and kindly guide the other side to a complimentary explication of your facts and points. It will make it more difficult for the other side to counter because it forces them to evaluate when previously they were content to just bicker off the cuff, as is custom with the Internet.
If you just say, "google it," you are begging for the 'talking points' or 'bullshit' comebacks.
Posted By: Scotty H (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 01:27 PM
What was that I said about conservatives like The Spook not having any self-awareness?
In a column and comments section discussing the hypocrisy of wanting to regulate advertising but not mentioning the need for more regulation on corporations, The Spook brought up everything from what the First Lady used to do for work, cap and trade, and California. Yet through all of that white noise I don't remember a single comment about the actual article. Maybe you should start one of those blogs, where you can rant and rave like Rush whenever you like, The Spook.
I'm not sure, but I think The Spook accepted my Fact or Fiction challenge. That, or he wants to show me his penis. Poor guy likes to talk about it quite a bit. I'm sure that has NOTHING to do with his pro-gay marriage stance.
Posted By: GaryML (Guest) on June 08, 2009 at 08:17 PM
STAY CURRENT