The Murmur Of Crow 12.08.05: O' Holiday Tree, O' Holiday Tree!

Posted by Brandon Crow on 12.08.2005

Happy Holidays, Everyone! And believe me, I do mean very specifically, “Happy Holidays.”

Earlier this morning, as I randomly perused the internet before class, I came across a Washington Post article that made me want to laugh and choke someone at the same time.

Here is the headline: Bush "Holiday" Cards Ring Hollow for Some. Apparently, the "Christian conservatives [are waging] war to put religion back in Christmas (Washington Post, Cooperman, 12/7/05)."

It seems that nothing is going right for the first family these days.

First there were no weapons of mass destruction and then there was no connection between Saddam/Iraq and the 9/11 acts. These two, of course, made Bush Co. look like a bunch of liars.

Then Cindy Sheehan acted up and was able to rally anti-war aficionados to parade in front of both the White House and Bush's own Crawford ranch. And then the number of dead American soldiers hit 2000. Of course, with continued insurgent attacks in Iraq, we also learned that the mission was in fact, not accomplished, like the big-mouthed, braggart administration wanted to purport.

And of course, Katrina and Rita came blowing through and the administration was more worried about looking good and looking like they were in control than actually being in control. Bush's mom then gets on TV and says one of the most asinine things I've every heard, which didn't help at all.

And through it all, even now, the Bush folks are out there spitting out the same old tired lines. "Stay the course." "It's hard work." "Democracy is messy." "Iraqi insurgents share the same terrorist ideologies." "Democrats hate America."

Okay, back to my point. It's the holiday season. People are generally nicer, more generous and more cheerful. Most of all, I've noticed people tend to be more forgiving this time of year. So, just when Bush and Co. think they can take a breather because of the festive season, they are sucker punched by their own base.

For those that haven't heard, the Bush family sent out official White House Christmas cards/holiday greetings to their most loyal of supporters. According to the Washington Post article, normally, friends, supporters, and people in general, "are thrilled to get a White House Christmas card, no matter what the greeting inside."

But not this season! This year, many conservative Christians are upset because the president's greeting does not specify "Merry Christmas," but rather used a generic greeting, like "Happy Holidays."

Apparently, these self-proclaimed Christians are not feeling cheerful or forgiving. They're mad as hell and they're not going to take it anymore… they want the "Christ" back in Christmas, for Christ's sake!

This idea would make me laugh if the people who are pushing it weren't so preachy and overly sanctified about it. And quite honestly, I would dismiss all of this huffy carping as silly had the people leading the charge on it not been so self-righteous and so ignorant at the same time.

Take for example, William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. Donohue is so riled up by Bush's non-Christian greeting that he characterized ‘the betrayal' thusly: "this clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture."

Mr. Donohue, all I can say is…"really?" I mean, "REALLY?" By not using the word "christ" in his holiday greeting, Bush has shown that he has capitulated to the…um, what were your words again…"worst elements of in our culture?"

REALLY? How sick and perverted are you?

This is the worst element in our culture? Not the fact that Bush gave Cheney's Halliburton dozens of no-bid contracts worth billions?

For your information, Mr. Donohue, Halliburton's stock was roughly $23/share right after 9/11. Today, it's about $65/share. You do the math and tell me how it happened. This profiteering at the highest level of our government, sanctified and glorified by the very people in charge does not even register on your moral scale?

This is the worst element in our culture? Not the fact that Bush Co. plain out LIED to the American populace about the existence of WMD's?

Since when did "Happy Holidays" outweigh blatant lying?

This is the worst element in our culture? Not sending thousands of troops overseas and watching 2000+ of them die over a lie?

Mr. Donohue, where has your mind, mouth and voice been this whole time? I'm not Christian, but last I checked, I believe lying and killing weren't considered Christian values. I'd be willing to bet that if Jesus were to come back tomorrow, he'd be more concerned about the lying and killing than the fact that we don't use his name in a card.

This is the worst element in our culture? Really? Not the total lack of response to the poor people of the Gulf Region after the hurricanes destroyed both their livelihoods and their lives? Have these so-called "good Christian folk" ever counted how many lines the Bible has about helping the poor and needy?

Of all the non-Christian, worst element acts the Bush and friends have committed, the omission of "Christmas" is what makes these fundamentalist Christians upset?

The sad thing here is that unlike Pat Robertson, William Donohue is not alone on a soggy perch. There are tons of fundamental Christians out there making an overt push to put "Christ" and religion back into the seasonal festivities.

Last week, the city of Boston lit their tree up and caught flack because they called it a "holiday tree" and not a Christmas tree. Where do these extremist Christians get off?

Firstly, you don't own the freaking tree. A tree is a tree. A fir, whether Douglas or Noble, is still only a tree. It is not religious nor is it Christian.

Stop co-opting everything under the sun, you religious extremists!

I can understand if people lit up a cross and called it a "Holiday Cross" instead of the Christian cross. At least in that example, you do have ownership over the symbol. In that way, your cross is very much like the Nazi swastika or the Nike Swoosh—all three are associated to very specific ideals, brands and groups of people.

But a fir is a fir is a fir is a fir is a fir. You do not own the tree.

What's next? We must call it a "Christian Sky?" A "Christian Sun?"

Please don't hold your "Christian Breath."

To get even more specific, your protest of this event is completely harebrained and moronic. You can no longer separate your perverted interpretation of Christian tradition with tradition in general.

The entire celebration of Christmas originated from a pagan ritual. Jesus Christ, your savior, was not really born on December 25th. Had you actually read your Bible, instead of blindly preaching little snippets you overheard, you would notice that clues are given about the actual birth date of Jesus.

According to Wikipedia, "Luke 2:8-14 speaks of shepherds living outdoor and tending to a flock of sheep…scholars of the Bible have concluded that this would be highly unlikely in the month of December, for the weather conditions would be too cold to live outside or tend to a flock of sheep."

So why do we celebrate "the birth of Jesus" on December 25th? Again, I refer you Bible-totin' fundamentalists to Wikipedia: "The answer to this question lie in the pagan (the ancient polytheistic religion) origins of Christmas. Before the Romans converted to Christianity, they celebrated the popular holiday Saturnalia, a festival of feasting and revelry held in December in celebration of Saturn, the god of agriculture, and the winter solstice."

It was Pope Julius I that first declared Christmas be celebrated in December so as to make it easier for Romans to convert to Christianity.

If you're going to whine and bitch about Christmas, first learn about Christmas.

If that's not enough, let's dig further into the non-Christian tradition of the tree. The closest the tree gets connected to Jesus Christ, is in the following story: "There is a legend that Saint Boniface started the custom of the Christmas tree in Germany around the eighth century. It is said that Saint Boniface found a group of pagan worshipping an oak tree and became angry; consequently, he proceeded to cut down the Oak tree. Immediately a small fir tree is said to sprout from the middle of the oak stump and reached to the sky. Thus Saint Boniface told the onlookers that this would be their holy tree because it was evergreen, a symbol of everlasting life."

But most of the research on trees as part of Christmas again go back to pagan rituals from Romans and Egyptians.

Christianity does not own the tree. Stop usurping it. After all, how "Christian" is usurpation?

To further demonstrate how ludicrous and disingenuous these fundamentalist Christians are about "Christmas," the Post article offers that "Religious conservatives are miffed because they have been pressuring stores to advertise Christmas sales rather than ‘holiday specials' and urging schools to let students out for Christmas vacation rather than for ‘winter break.'"

How laughable is this? The major complaint is that the teachings of Christ are being rubbed out by the hell-bound non-believers, but yet, the examples being pointed to have nothing to do with true Christianity.

How Christian are "capitalistic sales?" Why would any real Christian even want that holiday rush and greed…oh wait, sorry, that "Christian" rush and greed associated with them?

And what does a two week break in the middle of a semester have anything to do with Jesus? I must have missed that part of the Bible where Jesus delivered his final sermon, as he lay dying on the cross…

"My good people, remember, give the children two weeks break during the winter months in honor of my birth, even though I was born in summer, and make sure they know it's because of me that they get two weeks away from the hell that is school. Make sure they know, God damn it!"

You dumb, dumb people…please! This would all be silly and kooky if you were truly uneducated and ignorant, but leaders and educated people on all levels are doing this, even our House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert.

This is ridiculous. Don't you recall those Sunday school teachings where the pastor drummed into you the one, pivotal ideal about Christianity? Do you foolish folks not recall that the highest calling of a Christian is to lead and live your life by example?

Your public tirades and shenanigans do a disservice to your cause, your church, your religion, and most of all, your God.

What you have effectively done with your psychopathic and public parade of so-called moral values is to demonstrate to the world that although you claim to be "A" Christian, you have no understanding of what it is to simply be Christian.

Simply, Christians put their Lord above them. Your public, and frankly very maniacal and puerile outcries prove that you put yourself above your Lord and savior.

And I believe that is the exact opposite of what Christianity is all about.

But hey, it's the holidays! Let's not part on bad, unpleasant terms. Let's sing a holiday carol together…

O Christian Right! O Christian Right!
Thy minds are so polluted!
O Christian Right! O Christian Right!
Thy ignorance is so unchanging!