The Angry Scotsman 04.19.06: Rants and Immigration

Posted by Brian McLain on 04.19.2006

Your favorite Angry Scotsman, Brian McLain, rants about Republicans who whine about the media for all the wrong reasons, which somehow leads to sticks and why media really is a horrible detriment to the Populous. Also, the Scotsman takes an SHOCKING AND ASTOUNDING right turn *GASP!* on the immigration fiasco, a little comment on '24', and your Super Search words of the week.

Another week (or two weeks as the case may be), has past and yet another enlightening edition of the Angry Scotsman column has arisen to entertain and educate. I do so apologize to my fan(s) for missing the last week article, as things have been a bit busy at my camp. Wife and kids and Easter and antagonizing a certain foe on the city council of the fair city I live in (who recently had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, much to my delight), had taken up a great big chunk of my writing time. But I promise to make up for it with this rather interesting article to say the least. Double the anger, double the fun, so let's get this article rolling.



Warning: Rant ahead

Now, I won't necessarily go into what inspired me to do this piece, though I'm pretty certain you can guess by clicking through the many, talent driven articles here on 411mania's political zone. I also state, like anything, there is no one cause for any action. This is something that his been building up in my head for a while now from many sources. This particular source, a fellow colleague of mine, happened to pull the trigger though. Here is a general idea I get from listening, reading, absorbing most Conservative Republican and Neo Jacobin commentary:

1. -Constantly addressing the audience as "Ladies and Gentlemen". This one I know well, as I still have lingering issues with this myself from my old Republican days.
2.
3. -In the same breath, can state how great and powerful they are, yet also talk about this evil force that is drowning and unfairly oppressing them, usually known as Liberalism.
4.
5. -Reminds the general public on a regular basis that Conservatives are happy, and Liberals are ready to rip into absolutely everything, are miserable, and are Eyorish to the extreme.

-Always make certain, through all their gloating of how much power they wield, you know they are outnumber, outgunned, unfairly oppressed, and have no real voice in anything in society.


These thoughts flow through my head every single time I hear the words "Liberal", "Leftist", "The Left"and "Media" put together in the same sentence. These words are put together when describing how the left is in absolute control of the airwaves and ever information source. Internet, news networks, broadcasters, teachers, books, magazines, LIBERAL LIBERAL LIBERAL!!! Of course this is completely glazing over Faux News, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, the 700 Club, Michael Reagan, Ann Coulter, and many others who constantly insist that they are OUTNUMBERED! Nobody is listening to their voice, but yet they are the most listened to voices in America (their own words, everyone, not mine) except those educated few/many, and anybody who disagrees with it is anti-American, anti-intelligence, anti-optimism, anti-Bush…okay maybe the last one is correct. The liberals are all out to get them. They're a cult…don't listen to them. They don't like our troops, and eat babies, and want to make you needy and miserable. LIBERALS outnumber them but they bravely forge on to deliver a message of sanity and truth, even though we are the most powerful party in government today and the LIBERALS are but bugs to us!

Republicans are paranoid, plain and simple. Those who hold the ears of Republicans constantly utilize this trait. Every sentence they speak is another case of paranoia of how we MIGHT get attacked again if we don't keep a 9-11 mentality, they MIGHT lose congressional seats unfairly because of the Liberal media, they MIGHT brainwash everybody to swerve to the left. Talk about pessimism, holy crap, get a grip. And the magic word "Liberal", is a label placed on everything that is bad to these media conservatives. "Abortion bad…Liberal agenda! Not liking Bush bad…Liberals again! You don't like how this country is going? You're a Liberal!" I particularly take offense to this, because I am nowhere near liberal, nor am I even a Democrat. I've been called liberal, leftist, commie, anti-American, and that would be before I even opened my mouth past "our President is a fucking moron".

Listen to what people have to say, and don't just dismiss what they have to say because they are a "Liberal" or "Conservative" or even a "Neo-Jacobin", because if we start doing that, the Republic starts falling apart at the seams. I am not part of a tightly bound bundle of sticks like the Republicans…I am not part of the aimless scattering of sticks on the ground like the Democrats. I for one carry my own damn stick, and I'll wave that stick in the face of any asshole that badgers me about getting with the program. I am with the program, my own program.


So what am I getting at here? I know it doesn't seem that way, I went on a bit of a rant, but my true point is that the liberal media ain't so liberal when you take a good look at it. There is plenty of pulling from both sides everywhere, so everybody just put away your stupid blinders and have a look at the big picture. It's like Frankenstein pointing his finger at Dracula saying, "Ahhh! A Monster!" . Now I do agree with my colleague on the fact that you must take all information with a grain of salt, research it, and find the truth behind the fluff and over-exaggeration…but my true concern with the media is not its slant, but their tendency to rush so quickly to scoop the next big "Bush Sucks" story, they fail to stick with the actual proven issues with this president. That is if they are reporting it at all, considering car crashes, house fires, and Brittney and Cletus' marriage, or Tom and Katie's baby get more airtime, wedged between the stories of "Just a reminder, America, YOU'RE FAT!" The news is garbage, whether it's leaning right or leaning left. The headlines are based upon how much of a market share they can nab, whether it's angry liberals or sheepish conservatives. This is a terrible loss to the Republic, as the general media was the best tool the 1st branch of government, the Populous Branch, had. Instead, the news continues to tug and pull on the strings of those unwitting or too lazy to stand up and look into the facts, filling you up with enough depressing and yet uninformative garbage to keep you glued to the TV, then throwing in the birth of a baby albino fawn or a squirrel waterskiing at the end to keep you from killing yourself with anti-depressants so their loyal viewers can come back the next day for more shovels of bullcrap. Whew…




Illegal Immigration and Law Mutilation

It's times like these when I'm glad I didn't waste my money on the ACLU. Granted they've done some good in the past, but then they pull stupid stunts like complaining about how unconstitutional keg laws are or this "No person is illegal" garbage. Yes, there is no person that is illegal, but I hate to break it to you but ACTIONS CAN AND ARE DEEMED AS ILLEGAL! If one crosses the border, undocumented, having no respect for the borders or laws of a country, they are performing an illegal act, period. Considering this is the land of milk and honey to many of these illegal immigrants, I can see why they would want to run for the border, however I am taking a strict stance on this. The law states that illegal immigrants are outside of the jurisdiction of the United States, and further, that they are breaking laws set in effect within the borders of the United States. Teddy Kennedy can scream all he wants about a new civil rights movement, but the fact still remains that they are outside any jurisdiction of the United States.

I offer one of my favorite law mutilations of law that people love to bring up on this instance, and that would be that of the 15th Amendment. This amendment states the following:


Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Now this amendment has a tendency to be construed in such a way as to make people actually believe that if a birthing mother crawls her way across the border and delivers her baby within the borders of the United States, then that child is a citizen automatically and the country will have no other choice but to keep the mother in the US or take the baby under custody as a ward of state. I find this hard to swallow, since, under no circumstances, is a person who has not been integrated even somewhat into the system within the jurisdiction of the sovereign nation that they are attempting to become a part of.

Now I hate to sound cold about this, really I do. Everyone should have an opportunity to go where they please, and work towards a better life. I really think, however, there is a better way of going about this then a blanket amnesty though, and closing off the borders. And if there is one thing that will only make the problem even worse is the current immigration bill running through Congress. Think about it, you are an illegal immigrant who is caught, convicted, and deported…you decide to do things the right way the next time around and OOPSY! You have a felony on your record, sorry, you have no chance in hell of ever becoming a legal US resident. Since that's the case, let's cross over illegally AGAIN. This bill closes the legal border for absolutely anybody who was desperate enough to cross the border illegally and was caught and ensures a zero chance of a second opportunity. Keep illegal immigration illegal, but at the same time, embrace those who want to become legal residents of the US, even if they were illegals at one time. Make the system easier to deal with, and establish assistance to go through the process. At the same time stop fucking up the definitions and intentions of laws to suit your needs. That makes the Angry Scotsman mad.

The President is Owned by '24'

I've made comments on my blog regarding how sick a maneuver it has been for strategically placed ads supporting the Patriot Act, recounting 9-11, and other terrorist fear mongering to be placed with a show about terrorists stealing and threatening to use WMDs on the American people. In the most recent episodes, however, and unexpected twist actually places President Logan (President of the US on '24') as the guilty in orchestrating the entire thing INCLUDING THE ASSASSINSATION OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT. The fact that this happened on FOX is an added bonus. Want more fun, viewing pleasure? Check out ‘Loose Change' on Google, but don't forget to tune into ‘24'.

Super Search Words of the Week!

This week's words yield some rather interesting information…have fun:

BINGHAM 14th

I'm currently working on a…project, of sorts, and if it all sorts out I'll have a fun announcement to make in July. If YOU have anything you want to say to the Angry Scotsman, clicky on the little linky down at the bottom of the page. Until then, sit down and relax with a book by Hamilton or Jay and have a good rest of the week. Don't forget to peak around the rest of the zone, there is some great writing out there just waiting to be drooled over for one reason or another.