The Angry Scotsman: God Save the Republic from the Voltron of Bad Presidents

Posted by Brian McLain on 06.08.2006

The Scotsman gets some commentary in, takes on the idiocy of Juneteeth, and debuts the mini-column "The Voltron of Bad Presidents". Simply using the word "Voltron" in the teaser should increase readership exponentially. Plus, with the ire of the Scotsman up above the boiling point, he begins a new column known as the Scotsman's Throwdown.

Amazing the damage the lack of an article in one week can do to your responses. That or the last article was just so terrible that nobody cared to respond to it. No matter, this is a new week, a new article, and a new opportunity to defend that little piece of paper known as the Constitution. Before I continue with the rest of the article, I would like to offer a few bits of clarification. As seen in the last 411Politics Fact or Fiction, Crow stated I am a resident of the state of Texas. My fault for not sending out the correction e-mail soon enough but I am actually a current resident of Iowa, but native of Texas. Not that the geography makes much of a difference besides the span of Iowa can be traveled in 4 hours, we get fewer tornados and more blizzards, but just thought that I would clear that up. On to the article, as I promised I will delve into certain topics that I hope stir your thoughts and I will hopefully make as provocative an argument as I can. Agree or disagree, please write me and I will gladly print your opinions and arguments, as well as my responses. I would love to hear from all of you.



Writer's Commentary
I truly do believe that we are in the end times of the United States Republic. The Republic has been slowly deteriorating since the Civil War, in my opinion, and often my articles will reflect this. My articles will also reflect that there is still some hope out there that the Republic may be revived, but that window is closing very quickly and now more than ever we need to be smarter than these government officials and make them realize we are not a bunch of rubes for them to pander to. We are just as part of the government as they are, as the 4 branches of government. And don't by into the idiot idea that the press is one of the 4 branches as Douglass Carter quipped; the press is a tool of the Populous Branch or at least it is supposed to be. Our duty as citizens of these United States of America is to actively participate in the legislative, judicial, and executive functions of this country, and that goes a long way from just punching a hole in a piece of paper on some Tuesday in November. Go out to your legislative sessions if you are close enough, observe the proceedings, contact your representative, go out and collect some names to get things changed in your neighborhood.. The United States was built from the bottom up, and did not wait for the okay from the top, or Britain at the time, to live as a free, sovereign entity. Why should today be any different? Don't wait for Bushy to push your agenda, Republicans...he hasn't done that great a job in the first place. Don't wait for the Democrats to take back the Congress, or White House, Dems; you have representatives, use them. Whether they be Republican or Democrat, if they don't listen to your concerns and try to convince you of their way of dealing with those concerns, they are not representing you, they are RULING over you, and therefore they are unsuitable for the position that they have been awarded. As for all of you Socialists, Communists, Constitutionalists, Libertarians, Greens, and Independents, now is the time to really hit hard and show your stuff. Stop being beaten down as losers by Conservative windbags and do something that will make a difference. Every one of these parties have intriguing ideas of how to run a government and they must be heard, as the two parties we have now are becoming more and more mundane. After all, the only reason the Simpsons have stayed on the air for almost 20 years is because they changed writers frequently. This technique yielded new ideas, new concepts, and new ways of approaching things. Now did I just relate running a Republic to writing episodes of the Simpsons? Damn right I did, and it makes sense too.

The Voltron of Bad Presidents

The most entertaining (or frightening) thing about President George W. Bush is he has appeared to be the absolute culmination of almost every bad presidents this country has had the displeasure of knowing. Inspired by a past rant that has yet to see the light of day, I have constructed a fun little list of "Lions" that transform and combine to create this fouled up presidential juggernaut. I will be reviewing these "Lions", one per article, until we have enough to create the Voltron of bad presidents. This week's lion is:

Red Lion: Woodrow Wilson
Ever wonder where the whole bright idea of the U.S. making the world "safe for democracy" came about. It ain't new folks, and it is all thanks to this guy right here. It was the United State's sworn and God given duty to go out and "save" the world, expand democracy to the heathens, etc. He was on a mission from God, without the fun of the Blues Brothers. Woodrow also had a horrible habit of wanting to be the hero in all situations. In taking the initiative to lead the WWI peace talks and insisting on saying the US knew how to make Europe work, the 14 points doctrine would have been a roaring success...had Woody would have stayed of sound mind and body long enough to push it through. Sort of like how President Bush thinks he knows how democracies all over the world should run. And of course those countries that don't meet his strict specifications are oppressive regimes.

"The World must be made safe for democracy. Its peace must be planted upon the foundations of political liberty."
-Wilson to Congress, April 2nd, 1917

"For too long, many nations including my own, tolerated, even excused, oppression in the Middle East in the name of stability. Oppression became common, but stability never arrived. We must take a different approach. We must help the reformers of the Middle East as they work for freedom, and strive to build a community of peaceful, democratic nations."
-Bush to the UN General Assembly, September 21, 2004


Throw down

The Angry Scotsman has seen a lot of rhetoric spewing from the mouths of complete, unabashed morons, and that proves to be the case more and more when I talk to members of either party. One side says something, the other side is all "Uh Uh, oh no you di'int", and so forth. Translation: One side takes a stance, the other side opposes it JUST BECAUSE IT IS BACKED BY THE "OPPOSITION". The motivation to take a stand on an issue in this fashion is stale, stupid, and all around sheep-like. I despise the black and white, because you don't get anywhere just by going one way or the other. Party sheep spend more time going left or right then you do going straight; hell even if you go around a bend in the road at least make sure there's an on ramp to get on when you do it. I had the pleasure of reading one of the first contestants of "411Politics American Idol", and you know what I gathered from the guy? Barely anything. Nice to send us your viewpoint, can you please leave the pointless slander, bloated egotism, and pompous expressions at home next time please. I would love to see more righties on this site, but if the flow of Rush Limbaugh wannabes continues, I will fail to see any improvement in the site's "balance" or a point to giving these idiots a voice to waste. So I am laying down my own challenge, right here, right now. Pick a topic and argue it with me, any topic, I DARE YOU! Level of difficulty to the challenge:

1. No labels! An opinion is not left or right, it is an OPINION, your opinion, your thoughts, your beliefs. You can call me anything you want, and I you...but I don't want to hear the word 'liberal' or 'conservative' scrawled into your point as though that automatically claims you a victory in the topic. Parties may be used to define a platform, but not as pointless slander.
2. If you support an idea, back it the hell up. Give reason to your reasoning, hence the word REASON. No "Way Things Outta Be" crap. Trust me, I've read the book, I still have the book, it was a good read when I was a 12 year old sheep. In other words, if you feels strongly about something, then why?

I am not a liberal or a conservative. I reiterate this on a regular basis. If one comes at me in this challenge as though I am either they will promptly be spanked and sent to their room without supper. If you talk over me, you will be spanked, if you try to get away with plan rhetoric, you will be spanked. If we do things right, each of us will see the other's point of view and come away from the debate with some new, profound information regarding the issue worth consideration. And if your eyes simply fixated on either of the bolded words in this paragraph and you felt you just had a little jolt of rage or smugness come over you for just a second, you need to seriously level your head out and you probably won't fair well in this challenge. Stop labeling the zone because you don't see "Liberals suck" enough in it, and good luck, you're gonna need it.


June-what?

Juneteenth is fast approaching, and boy I am so excited. My work place is giving away free strawberry floats to celebrate this alleged day of independence for slaves in the United States. Honestly, of all the holidays that people have not found a reason to drink the whole day away on (yet), this is one of the dumbest. We are celebrating a day in which the United States got their head the rest of the way out of their asses and decided to keep up with the rest of the world. We are also celebrating the end of something that is still going on today, as many continuously insist that the U.S. need Mexican immigrants to be taken advantage of by working menial jobs for meager pay. Nobody seems to figure that connection out; it's not chattel slavery, but the attitude taken with the issue is pretty damn close. It reminds me of a scene from the movie "Gandhi" (don't knock it, it's a good movie) where Gandhi's wife is refusing to clean out latrines because it is work for "untouchables", and his response borders on the acknowledgement that if the work is beneficial to all, then it is not a duty that should be reserved for only some. Point being that if you pay enough, there will be people that will do the work, no matter how dangerous or disgusting. How many plumbers, septic tank repair people, skyscraper window washers, etc do you know that aren't proud of the work they do? Twenty-five years ago, meat-processing plants were paying 3 times the $9/hr wage they pay now, with the excuse that Americans won't get their hands dirty with such work. However every meat locker owner, butcher, and livestock farmer I've ever come across love the work they do and are often in business for themselves making good money. The living wage is a dying concept in the country, and it isn't the fault of the immigrants in my view, it's the fault of the companies that hire them and pay horrible wages because that workforce is willing to work for such. That isn't good business, its taking advantage of people, in my belief, and I will go as far as to consider it modern slavery. So Juneteenth is going right up there with Arbor Day, Earth Day, Black History Month and Sweethearts Day on my list of pointless recognitions and holidays...but at least I get a strawberry float out of the deal.

THE SUPER SEARCH WORDS OF THE WEEK!

"QUOTES BUSH" and "QUOTES AHMADINEJAD"

Note similarities between the two's attitude. Only real difference in my opinion between the two's policy is one hates Isreal and the other doesn't.


Thats all for me this time around, kids. Next time, I will promise to reveil that article in regards to the last super search words "DEFINE FASCISM".