The Murmur of Crow: The Panda Express Mentality

Posted by Brandon Crow on 07.10.2006

Have I become the stereotype of the self-righteous American that the whole world hates?

Days 7 and 8

Well, we're getting to the tail end of this trip. Tomorrow will be the last official we have together as a group. I've met some good people and made some new friends. Today after lunch, we all exchanged business cards and other contact info. I've gotten one card from every family on the tour (about seven), but realistically, I expect to keep in touch with maybe three.

Isn't that interesting about human beings? We seem to bond so easily and we always intend to keep in touch, but once we fall back into our regular lives, we forget about everyone… everyone that is, except those that can benefit us in tangible ways…

Some have gotten my information because they have children who need help with English or have kids who are about to apply for college and need someone to look over their entrance essays. They get my wife's info because she's a banker and does mortgages. She can be helpful down the line.

Of course, I am guilty as well. I got the information of a few very well-off individuals who make great money working in the private sector. They tell me corporate America is always looking for people who possess tight knowledge of the English language. Talking to them, I can spy down the road and see a potentially much larger paycheck than my teaching salary.

I guess, in the end, we are all looking out for own self interest. Damn, I hate it when the Republicans are right. They just put it practice a little too much...

There's not much to note about the sights and the tour at this point because all we've been seeing for the last few days have been temples and gardens. We've visited so many that they all blend together now. I will go home, look at the pictures of some nice scenery in a park, and have no idea where it was.

Besides the info exchange, the only thing that sticks out to me was a stunning revelation at dinner tonight. It was so jolting that it got me to question myself.

For nearly two weeks now, I've been in a foreign land and have been trying desperately to view it from a perspective other than the typcial American one. I try to see and experience things (even if uncomfortable to me) from a truly Chinese lens and perspective.

I can't tell you how many times during this trip I've seen Americans (you know—the ones that give all Americans a bad name in the rest of the world) trash talk or demean other people's cultural practices and values. On the second day, I saw an American couple, perhaps late 20's, buy a cup of soda and then loudly complain that the cup was too small and that it wasn't cold enough. They never stop to think that perhaps American cup sizes have been way overblown, or that only Americans like beverages cold. Most of the rest of the world drink their libations at room temperature, beer and wine included.

Another time, these two American teens were trouncing around a temple's courtyard when they encountered many tourists holding umbrellas to shield them from the scorching sun. These two kids rudely slapped aside an old lady's umbrella and then grunted, as they walked off, "how stupid are these people? They're using umbrellas and it's not even raining." Yes, as if umbrellas are only for rain.

And just yesterday, as I walked into a public restroom, I saw a group of American tourists (I know they're American because they were in Xi'an on the same day we were, and I had the unfortunate distinction of having to talk to them. The old lady in the group mentioned to me that "you speak English so well!"). Anyway, they came out of a restroom and the entire group was roundly and contemptuously defaming China's toilets. They referred to the toilets as "holes in the ground," as if they were nothing more than a literal hole dug out from the earth.

China's "toilets," for those who don't know, aren't sitting toilets. They are an open hole at ground level covered with a porcelain face with foot grips on the sides. The way to use them is not to sit, but to squat.

Different cultures, different practices. But these people just refused to let go of their own tightly gripped interpretations. What a waste of a trip abroad.

In any case, something happened at dinner tonight that got me to wonder if I, myself, were, in fact (to steal a copyrighted phrase from my good friend at the zone, Ray Church) an Ugly American.

The food in China has been pretty tasteless (at least on the bland side for most of the trip). But tonight, we had a dish, a Chinese onion pie that's supposed to be served salty so that the salt, the green onions (scallions) and the pan frying process all melted together for a delicious flavor. However, their onion pie had absolutely no taste, not even of the scallions.

I could not help but criticize how this dish had been made entirely wrong. And my table wholeheartedly agreed with me, especially "Mr. Negative." I set the slice aside and waited for a waitress to come so I can ask for some salt. When she finally came by, I asked for my salt and she gave me this look…this disapproving, piercing glare, so swift yet so meaningful.

My heart sank. My mind immediately flashed to that classic scene in the movie version of "The Joy Luck Club." You know the one. It's the scene where the American husband is invited to join the family celebration dinner and his Chinese wife's mom cooks her renowned fish. Trying to be modest, the mother plays coy, mentions, "oh, the fish may not be as good as it could be."

Of course, the dish is perfect, made only as she can.

And what does this American husband do? He tastes the fish, then, using his American tastebuds to judge the Chinese dish, he grabs the soy sauce and starts pouring it all over the fish, all the while pronouncing, "oh, it's not bad, just needs some soy sauce."

As if soy sauce fixes everything...how American. What a total Panda Express mentality.

I tell you, when the waitress gave me that look, I nearly choked. For all I tried to do, for all I worked to fully experience another culture from their perspective, for all the dirty thoughts I had about "those stupid Americans"…

Had I become an Ugly American?