Foley Got Fingered

Posted by Joshua White on 10.04.2006

What? People are playing politics with a Congressional child-sex scandal? You don't say!


Hello again to all of my loyal followers. And if you're not yet a follower, get on the bandwagon. Everyone is doing it. You don't want to be left out and called a loser do you?

I'm in a great mood today. Well, for two reasons. One, Good God it is great to live in Houston right now. $1.95 people. That is all I'm going to say. But more importantly, old and new followers, I have actual proof the someone on the Left reads my column. Last week, I wrote a stellar article that explained to you, the world, that I loved drama in my politics. Allow me to quote myself:

I have to admit that I love a little bit of drama.

That is proof that I love drama. Now then, I said it and what happened just two days later? Mark Foley does. Someone on the Left read my column, thought that it was brilliant, and then decided to add a little bit of fun to the very boring arena that politics has been for the past many months. After holding on the sordid details that Foley had been cyber-diddling with the pages for the past year, after only two days of my column being available to the masses, they decided to release the information one day before the Congress was to close shop to go campaigning.

Now, if that isn't proof that there is at least one Democrat reading, loving, and following me then nothing is. (Find the flaw in that logic Mr. Church!!!)

So, Mark Foley messed with some kids. Right away both sides started acting just the way that I suspected that they would. The Left is aghast that someone could do such a thing, and the Right is trying to figure out some way that this is related to the biased liberal media. I was amazed when I first heard Hannity saying something like "Doing this sort of thing with a page is totally inappropriate, but why is this coming out now?" At first it sounded like the Right-winged talk shows trying to cover up their flaws. If they could somehow manage to make us forget about Foley and focus more on the liberal bias, then they win.

But then I started hearing some of the facts. I started learning about news sources that held onto the Foley details from our own Jason Easley. Now, according to the Miami Herald, they kept the Foley story hush hush "because the language was not sexually explicit and was subject to interpretation, from innocuous to 'sick." Continuing they say that, "[g]iven the potentially devastating impact that a false suggestion of pedophilia could have on anyone, not to mention a congressman known to be gay, and lacking any corroborating information, we chose not to do a story." Ok, fair enough. Maybe this is the truth. And let's grant that unlike what Easley thinks, the civic duty of reporters is not to " investigate the story to determine if there was any corroborating evidence." (I'm not saying that Easley is wrong, I'm just going to grant that the Herald is right...for now.)

What is the excuse that ABC gives? Why did they wait so long? The Right is curious to know this. And so am I.

Let me pause here for a second. Perhaps some of you out there might think that we should focus Foley's action. Root out the problems here and punish everyone. Well, I think that has pretty much happened. Foley has resigned and an investigation has been started. I realize that this may not be enough from you, but I'm not sure what else I can offer. If Hastert really didn't know about any of these explicit (as opposed to just the inappropriate) emails then I don't think that he should resign. On the other hand, if it comes out that he did know, or had good reason to believe, then consequences should be felt. But for the time being, what more can the Republicans do?

Ok, so back to ABC. What took so long ABC? And why on this specific day. Come on, even I, lover of pissing off the Right sees this. I want to not agree with them, but I do see that all of this adds up quite a bit. And who gave all of this to ABC? I'm sure that if ABC had known about it then and a bunch of Republicans knew about it (again, just the inappropriate emails, not the raunchy ones), then I have to guess that some Democrats knew what Foley was doing. I have no doubt that at least one Democrat was current on the Foleyphilia (the love of Foley) that was happening in D.C. Why didn't they do something? Could it be politically motivated? Maybe?

Further, and I haven't heard this mentioned yet, why is nobody investigating these people who haven't gone to the authorities. Isn't this in some way aiding Foley in his attempts to seduce the youngins? Why aren't these people in some amount of trouble? These people, assuming I'm correct, were playing politics with morality and the safety of children. I find this pretty terrible.

Some have even suggested that Foley was set up either by people trying to bring him down or by the kids. Why did these kids keep these emails and text messages? Why did they keep talking to him? Was it possible that some on the Left were using the kids to get Foley into trouble.

I will not claim until I have more evidence that any of this Foleygate is a set-up. However, what I will say is that I don't care if it is. While it would be terrible for someone on the Left to set up another member of Congress, it doesn't excuse Foley's behavior. If he was set up, if this is be used politically (which of course it is, why wouldn't it be?) that doesn't change the facts that what he did was a no no. When you become a member of Congress you are supposed to be on your best behavior at all time. Any minor error in your actions can lead to negative consequences for your party. It is an unfortunate consequence of having a dumb electorate, but if you mess up ethically they won't vote for your party, even if your party and the voter's views are still congruent.

So I guess the Left is definitely going to play politics with this. But I don't understand why anyone would be surprised by this or expect anything else? Isn't this what the Right did with the Clinton-Lewinsky thing? The William Jefferson thing? The Howard Dean yelling thing? All of these events were used politically by the Right, and now they want immunity from the "liberal media" who is out to harm them. Sorry boys.

But in the end, there would be no politics to play, no mean liberal bias, no possible win for the Democrats in Florida's 16th district if it had not been for Foley's philandering ways. So criticize the liberal media, the kids, and all of those people who set up Foley. But don't forget that most (and I mean damn near all) of this blame for the loss of the seat, disgrace amongst the party, and overall shame of the Congress is because of Foley and only Foley.

Finally, the best part. The part that is funniest for me... apparently, after all the text chats with children, and cyber-sex with minors Foley's lawyer said, "Any suggestion that Mark Foley is a pedophile is false, categorically false." Yeah right! (He just loves children?) I love political drama.


Now that I'm famous and influential enough to get people in power to act on my behalf, I think that I should spread the wealth. People in high places, I ask you to please read the following articles:

If you, the Democrats, would effectively preach this Radulichian gospel, you wouldn't look like the wussies we all think that you are. For said gospel, read this.

To see what cutting the fast food and running a little bit can do for your abs, check out D.S's photo of Clinton here.

I love the idea of a la carte cable, but I'm not a fan of government enforcing it. Once again Jjjjjoe is wrong.

And because I'll always shell for the man who gave me the opportunity to change all of my followers' lives for the better, don't forget to read this.

Don't forget to email me if you think that I'm wrong or right.

Don't forget to read my column next week when I'll make the first attack of the year on Christmas!

And definitely don't forget:


Until next time…believe nothing unless you read it here.