The Ugly Un-American: A Year in Quotation Marks
Posted by Ray Church on 12.22.2006
The year that was as related through some of the dumbest things that were said this year. That's right, 12 whole months of goodness wrapped up in one addition of the Ugly Un-American
Well, if you've missed me the last couple of weeks (and lets be honest, who hasn't), I'm back with a run down of the whole year as I saw it. This column is huge, and it's the reason you haven't heard from me for the last couple of weeks (that and the embarrasment of my surreal last column)... and be sure to tune in next week as well when I announce the year end "Shut the Hell Up" Awards.
So in the words of the immortal Goofy, "on with the show".
January: Dumb Democrats and Vicious Blonds
The year started with classic proof that stupidity knows no bounds of political allegiance. This time it was New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, promising to rebuild New Orleans, and determined that, wow, let Nagin explain what he was promising.
I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day.
Now, don't misunderstand Nagin, as many of us did. Many of us interpreted that reference to uptown and then the chocolate city part to mean something a little racist. He's not saying that he is going to turn New Orleans into an African American city, Nagin was thinking of more than just dark chocolate, in fact he had an entire Hershey's Chocolate Factory full of ideas, as he later explained…
How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about
That's right, you put white milk inside dark chocolate. I know what you're thinking, and Jesus does too you pervert.
Nagin wasn't the only one running his mouth off in January either. One particularly long legged blond, who was to feature prominently throughout 2006, was just getting started with a call for assassination.
We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens's creme brulee.
But Anne Coulter was not seriously contemplating killing Justice Stevens. It was just a, well…
That's just a joke, for you in the media.
A joke, get it? Its funny cos' its true, or something.
I never really got that. Why is something funny because it's true? Maybe I just don't have a sense of humour, because I never really understood that, like I never understood why threatening to poison someone is funny, either. It must be surrealist humour.
February: The Nightmare Continues
Anne Coulter continued her rampage throughout February, creating new visions of America's purpose.
I think our motto should be, post-9-11, 'raghead talks tough, raghead faces consequences
And
Perhaps we could put aside our national, ongoing, post-9/11 Muslim butt-kissing contest and get on with the business at hand: Bombing Syria back to the stone age and then permanently disarming Iran.
Extreme? Perhaps, but the blond bombshell had the perfect justification…
You know, ok. I made a few jokes--and they killed 3000 Americans. Fair trade
Yup, they, the ragheads, killed 3000 people, despite the fact that there were plenty of Muslims who had nothing to do with those deaths.
She was not the only Political pundit on a rampage either, this time Rush Limbaugh…
And don't forget, Sherrod Brown is black
With a name like Sherrod Brown he must be black, but I was surprised to find out the guy looked whiter than I am. Must be like Bill Clinton, the first black president thing.
February was also the beginning of the Dubai ports controversy, and we heard these words in a context we never thought we would hear them.
CNN won't shut up Lou Dodds
Now normally I'm all for shutting Lou Dodds up, but these words reportedly came from Mark Dennis, who worked for Dubai Ports World. Notice it wasn't Lou Dobbs who wouldn't shut up, but CNN who wouldn't shut him up, because apparently Dubai Ports World was putting pressure on CNN itself to shut the whole issue up. Little did they know that in March they would get an unexpected hero.
March: Unexpected Heroes and the World of Denial
By March everybody was talking about the Dubai Ports deal, which would see many of America's busiest ports placed in the hands of the U.A.E. There were a multitude of arguments circulating about whether such an important business should be placed in foreign hands and whether a country that had produced two of the 9/11 hijackers could be trusted with an important part of America's infrastructure. However one young hero stepped into the limelight (ok, it was a 6 o'clock morning news show) and spoke truth to power (ok, spoke truth for power) and let America know what it was truly about.
At the end of the day, you know, it's not about ports, it's not about security, it's about you know underlining prejudice towards Arabs
And now you know.
Now, in defense of Pierce Bush he did make some sound arguments and salient points to back up his argument, and I must say that he sounded like someone from, say, my side of the political aisle rather than the nephew of the tyrannical Bush Empire.
But that the Bush family had so few allies on this that young Pierce had to enter the fray (at 6 o'clock in the morning, and living on five cups of coffee) was downright funny.
Another Bush supporter to enter the fray was a certain young (well, not so young) lady last seen counting votes in Florida, decided that she had a calling.
Let me tell you what the truth is. I'm staying. I'm in this race. I'm going to win. And let me tell you how. I'm going to put EVERYTHING on the line. Everything, not just my future and my reputation, my father's name. I'm gonna take his legacy… Everything that I have and I'm gonna put it in this race. I'm going to commit my legacy from my father, $10 million… This is everything that I have
Yes, that was Katherine Harris declaring that she was going to run for senate and she was going to put everything… EVERYTHING on the line. We'll check back at the end of the year and see how she did.
March was the month of denial for the Bush Administration, as George Bush declared
(Pakistan) will be a steadfast partner…. A force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, and then declaring…
First-just if I might correct a misperception, I don't think we ever said, at least I know I didn't say that there was a direct connection between September 11th and Saddam Hussein
And Dick Cheney continuing the theme with…
No, I think it has less to do with the statements we've made, which I think were basically accurate and reflect reality, than it does the fact that there is a constant sort of perception if you will that's created because what is newsworthy is the carbomb in Baghdad, it's not all the work that went on that day in 15 other provinces in terms of making progress in rebuilding Iraq.
In reference to his statement that they would be greeted as liberators. It should be noted that those statements came because the media had finally started questioning the claims of he Administration, something they should have started doing three years ago, but what do I know.
April: The Hammer, the Decider and the Long Legged Spider
April was the month that Tom Delay revealed he, too, had been given to a higher calling, apparently to preach the gospel in the most unique of ways.
I said a little prayer before I actually did the fingerprint thing, and the picture. And my prayer was basically: 'Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.'
Yup, that was Tom Delay's explanation of the insanely huge smile that can be found on his mugshot, advice that Mel Gibson should perhaps have taken later in the year when he was arrested DUI.
Of course, Tom Delay had done nothing wrong. His arrest had nothing to do with the funneling of donations through the Texas Republican Party and into the G.O.P. in such a way that it was impossible to tell the source or destination of any of the aforementioned money. No, it was all politics. Tom Delay would later refer to the prosecution as "a maverick lawman" (and John McCain considered suing), but he also refused to admit that this was the real reason that he resigned the post as head whip for the G.O.P. No, the only reason was political.
I refuse to allow liberal Democrats an opportunity to steal this seat with a negative, personal campaign
Got to love the use of the word steal there.
But as one superhero (the Hammer) leaves, another is born, and this was also the month George Bush declared
I'm the decider, and I decide what is best
What was best was to keep Donald Rumsfeld on as Secretary of Defense, a decision I'm sure George Bush didn't regret in the slightest.
April marked the return of the rampaging long legged blond.
I'd build a wall. In fact, I'd hire illegal immigrants to build the wall. And throw out the illegals who are here. [...] It's cheap labor.
Yup, that was Anne Coulter commenting on the immigration debate. Um, Anne? Once you build the wall, how do the immigrants who built it get out?
May: Immigration, An Inconvenient Truth, Stupid Democrats and Gratuitous Insults
Immigration continued to be a major theme for the G.O.P., and it had absolutely nothing to do with the approaching midterms. No way, it all had to do with hot wedded sexual action, as John Gibson explained.
"[d]o your duty. Make more babies," because he had found out, from a recently released report, that nearly half of all children under the age of five in the United States are minorities. Gibson added: "You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic.
Of course, Mexico has one of the highest birth rates in the world, so basically what we're talking about here is a new cold war (hot passionate war?) between Mexico and the United States to over populate the world.
Speaking of the world, May was when "An Inconvenient Truth" began to make headlines with its outrageous and unscientific claims (well, according to the government anyway) that it was man made greenhouse gasses that were causing much of the climate change currently being experienced throughout the world.
It didn't take long, of course, for Al Gore to be compared to a Nazi.
You don't go see Joseph Goebbels'' films to see the truth about Nazi Germany. You don't go see Al Gore'' films to see the truth about global warming
That was Sterling Burnett, a great name but even the host of the show felt compelled to point out that he was a shill for big oil before the interview was over. (For the record, he works for the NCPA, which is funded in part by... you guessed it... ExxonMobil. For bonus marks you could also mention that another backer of the NCPA is the El Paso Energy Foundation. Nothing quite like Joseph Goebbels making films about Nazi Germany is there).
With all of the praise that was heaped on "An Inconvenient Truth", it was inevitable that someone would ask George Bush if he would watch it (much like they asked him if he would go to see "Brokeback Mountain"). His response:
Probably not
In the President's defense, the President was very busy. Not with issues of National Security, mind you, but his "Ec-A-Lec-A-Tric" reading list that this year included three Shakespeare's and one unpronounceable French Philosopher. He did further explain why he wasn't looking into this global warming thing, however.
in my judgment we need to set aside whether or not greenhouse gases have been caused by mankind or because of natural effects and focus on the technologies that will enable us to live better lives and at the same time protect the environment
Ah, Mr. President, maybe if we're going to build new technologies we might want to know how the old ones are creating catastrophic climate change so we can, you know, not do that.
The President also let us in on a secret, his biggest success during his years as President.
I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5lb (3.4kg) perch in my lake
Wow, a fish 2.5 lbs heavier than any other Perch actually recorded in the record books. You must be proud Mr. President. Pity you couldn't claim anything more substantial like balancing the budget or eliminating the national debt or stabilizing the Middle East, but I guess you got to go with what you can do, right?
May was also the time that Rush Limbaugh came out with this interesting metaphor.
Liberal talk radio is nothing more than a pimple on the rear end of a pig
Umm, Mr. Limbaugh, you do realize this metaphor makes you the pig, right?
And May was also a time when Democrats proved that they, too, could be idiots. Witness Hillary Clinton putting the boots in where it is truly deserved.
We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word
Within a day or two she was forced to apologise publicly to her daughter, who, it turns out, does know that work is a four letter word.
Hillary was far from the most stupid Democrat this year, as William Jefferson was caught with a bucket load of cash obtained through bribery and fraud sitting in his freezer. Still, Jeffrey Dahmer kept the frozen heads of his victims in his freezer, so what are you going to do.
People rushed to his defense, claiming that the raid that caught him was an abuse of the separation of powers, one academic went so far as to claim it was…
A profound and almost gratuitous insult to a co-equal branch of government
Personally I thought taking tens of thousands of dollars worth of bribes was a profound and gratuitous insult to a co equal branch of government, but I'm not John Turley from the Washington University Law School, so what do I know?
June: Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest
June was a big month for stupidity, the President setting the tone all the way.
Yes, Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?... I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.... For the viewers, there's no sun.
Oh, that Peter. Always the style hound, wearing sunglasses when there is no sun.
What, he's blind? Seriously? Wow, Mr. President, you screwed up there. Maybe someone in your administration can save you. Let's go for the "plain girl with ugly friends to make her look more beautiful" strategy. Get some other stupid comments out there so you don't look so stupid.
I don't think anybody anticipated the level of violence that we've encountered.
Good save, Cheney, now the President doesn't look so stupid. Condie, you have something to add?
I don't know anyone who is more admired and respected in the international community than President Karzai
Mmm, not good enough. Try again.
overwhelmingly American forces there, putting their lives on the line every day, protecting Iraqis, helping to liberate them, that is appreciated by the Iraqi people and by the Prime Minister
Better, but I think we need to call in some outside help. Let's get in Ted Stevens…
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes.
Great, I think we've almost weathered this one, but let's go for overkill. Call in the blond one.
I would like evolution to join the roster of other discredited religions, like the Cargo Cult of the South Pacific
Evolution? Nah, too bland. You can do better than that Anne. Say something really stupid that will offend the majority of America.
These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much
Brilliant. Attacking victims of 9/11. Anne, you're a genius, and you've saved the president from a potentially embarrassing moment. We thank you. The country thanks you.
July: Not Quite Saved, and World War 3
Yes, Anne Coulter pretty much overshadowed the rest of June, but it was not enough to save Bush from a bigger presidential gaff with an open microphone.
See, the irony is, what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over.
The media was in a furor over the president's use of the word "shit" to another leader of the free world. (Deputy leader of the free world?)
We were all too worried about real issues of course, as Israel had started bombing Lebanon in retribution for the kidnapping of two Israeli soldier by Hezbollah forces. Still this sort of thing had happened before, so let's keep an even keel and try not to panic.
Newt Gingrich: Look at all the different connectivity. You would have to say to yourself this is in fact World War Three.
Bill O'Reilly: World War 3, right?
John Gibson: This is World War 3
Fox News one upped themselves, describing it as World War 4, or possibly even World War 5, until the actual conflict ended. I guess if it didn't Fox News would still be raising the stakes today.
The whole event didn't stop Tony Snow reminding us that when we disagree with the Administration, we side with the enemy.
Well, thank you for the Hezbollah view
What was the Hezbollah view? You see Helen Thomas had asked him why the administration didn't put pressure on Israel to stop the bombing and… well, that was it really. That was the Hezbollah view.
August / September: Heartless Bastards, Political Suicides, Red Herrings and a Rare Moment of Clarity
August marked the return of Anne Coulter, who basically went into hiding after her 9/11 widows comment. She comes back smelling of Opium.
Things are going swimmingly in Afghanistan
And then decides to attack Maxine Waters (D-CA) for being black.
(Without Affirmative Action she couldn't get a job) that didn't involve wearing a paper hat
The irony is that this comes from a woman who, without blond hair and a pair of breasts would probably just be calling in to Rush Limbaugh complaining about the liberal media.
She wasn't the only heartless bastard in this time period, of course. If you don't remember, two Fox journalists were kidnapped in Iraq and forced, at gunpoint, to convert to Islam. The media was full of sympathy for the two reporters… well, almost full.
They were told to convert to Islam under implicit threat (blindfolded and hand-tied, they could not judge what threat), and agreed to make the propaganda broadcasts to guarantee their own safety. That much we can understand, as conventional cowardice. (Understand; not forgive.)
You would expect this type of heartlessness from an American, but it turns out this time the heartless bastard was David Warren, a Canadian reporter for Real Clear Politics.
While right wing pundits were proving how heartless they were, right wing candidates were slowly committing political suicide with statements like:
God is the one who chooses our rulers… If you are not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin.
From Katherine Harris, the candidate who had previous stated she would put everything… EVERYTHING on the line for this election. By November she would join the unemployment line, but she would not be there alone.
This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, Macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great. ... Let's give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia
Yup, that was George Allen signing his unemployment papers. They would also be joined by Conrad Burns, who decided to talk about the small Guatemalan man who fixes his house from time to time.
August / September also saw one of many red herrings that took us away from the doom and gloom of Iraq, immigration and the coming election. This one led us to Thailand, where John Mark Carr had confessed to the 10 year old murder investigation of a little girl in Georgia. We would later find out that he wasn't the guy, after DNA evidence conclusively ruled him out, but that didn't stop MSNBC from trying to put the pieces together.
He's from Georgia, the Ramsey family is from Georgia. We don't know what connection that is
There you have it, journalism at its finest.
And we also saw two moments of lucidity on our TV screens. The first from George Bush himself.
You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.
And the second from the Deciders arch nemesis, Hugo Chavez.
And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here. [crosses himself] And it smells of sulfur still today. Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world
And after finishing that sentence, Chavez crossed the floor and hugged Danny Glover, ending his career in one foul swoop.
October: Mark Foley, Michael J. Fox, Saddam Hussein and One Final Career Suicide
October was all about the coming midterm elections, and the biggest October surprise was the Mark Foley scandal, proving that Republicans also have sex starved cravens in their party as well. The White House was right there to tell us how important they think the sexual exploitation of minors is.
Yes, look, I hate to tell you, but it's not always pretty up there on Capitol Hill. And there have been other scandals, as you know, that have been more than simply naughty e-mails
Right wing pundits knew the public wouldn't accept that these events were just "naughty emails, so they went in search of a new villain. Matt Drudge, take it away.
They are 16 and 17 year old beasts
No no no no no no no Matt Drudge. Didn't we learn from Coulter you can't get away with blaming the victim? You have to find another scapegoat. Sean Hannity, have you got a better idea?
CREW, funded by George Soros, had these [Foley] emails now and were bragging on their website as early as July 21st.
Yes, George Soros and the left wing grass roots. Every fact was entirely incorrect, of course, but what are a few facts between friends. Still, nailing left wing organistations is not quite as good as nailing the Democratic party so Rush Limbaugh, take us home on this one.
I'm just telling you that the -- the -- the orgy and the orgasm that has been taking place in the media since Friday and with the Democrats is -- it's all coordinated, and it's all -- it's all oriented toward the election.
Great, plenty of assertions, not a fact in sight. Now just to finish off.
In their hearts and minds and their crotches, they don't have any problem with what Foley did. They've defended it over the -- over the years.
That's the way, Limbaugh. Place the blame where it truly belongs.
Limbaugh would also take aim at Michael J. Fox this month, and make himself more reviled than Anne Coulter in the process.
He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act. ... This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting
The effects that Fox displayed while he was filming the advert Rush was lambasting were, in fact, the result of his medication.
October was also a time for goodbyes. Senator Conrad Burns decided that talking about illegal aliens and the small Guatemalan man who does odd jobs around the house were not enough to sink his career and join his good friends Katherine Harris and George Allen. Nope, to really sink his career he needed one last stinker.
We're not going to tell you what our plan is, Jon, because you're just going to go out and blow it
That was Conrad Burns explaining to his opponent Jon Tester that he wouldn't tell him his plan to win in Iraq because Jon might tell everyone else.
A super secret plan to win in Iraq… an idea so funny that the West Wing decided to parody it three years before he even made the comment. (I believe the one in the West Wing was a super secret plan to solve inflation).
Saddam Hussein said a preliminary goodbye as well. Realizing his sentence was coming down soon, decided to address the people of Iraq from his cell.
The hour of liberation is at hand, God willing, but remember that your near-term goal is confined to freeing your country from the forces of occupation and their followers and not be preoccupied with settling scores or deviate from your goal
How soon it was that Hussein forgot that he was once the forces of occupation and that many of his worst atrocities were the settling of scores.
November: Goodbye Rumsfeld, Goodbye Saddam and Hello Prejudice
Saddam's trial was concluded at the start of November, as he was sentenced to death despite his followers cries of "Long live Saddam Hussein". After the death sentence was passed, Saddam addressed the crowd thus.
Long live Iraq! Long live the Iraqi people! Down with the traitors!
Don't you just love how most of what he says could be applied to him as well. Down with traitors indeed. The end of the trial allowed the Washington Post to comment on the preparations for the trial.
Preparations included repeat viewings of "Judgment at Nuremberg," a 1961 Hollywood film, Western officials said
Now remember that the next time you are accusing Hollywood of being leftwing propaganda. It can also be used to train judges for trial. I'm currently studying Law and Order to get myself out of a little legal trouble I got myself out of earlier in the year.
November may also be seen in retrospect as the end of John Kerry's Presidential aspirations, as he proved once again they he lacked the most important quality for a president. No, not a sound knowledge of the Constitution. No, not an inquisitive mind. No, not a firm grasp of diplomacy. What presidential quality did he lack?
You know, education -- if you make the most of it -- you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq
Yup, comedic timing. One botched joke and his presidential nomination is sunk.
November was also our goodbye to Donald Rumsfeld. After all, he and Cheney were described this way by the President at the start of November.
Both those men are doing fantastic jobs and I strongly support them
Ouch, harsh words. The last man Bush described that way was Brownie, and wouldn't you know it within a week Rumsfeld was fired. Ah, but the media were too smart for this one. They looked back through their archives and found that a week before the President was supporting Rumsfeld and a week later he was firing him.
Hunt asked me the question one week before the campaign, and basically it was, are you going to do something about Rumsfeld and the Vice President? And my answer was, they're going to stay on. And the reason why is I didn't want to inject a major decision about this war in the final days of a campaign. And so the only way to answer that question and to get you on to another question was to give you that answer
In other words the President lied because he didn't want to answer the question.
The new found freedom of the press allowed even the right wing media, sorry, fair and balanced media to criticize the president. The only problem was that to do so they would need to rewrite history a little.
" I hate to blow my own horn, Colonel, but I don't know whether you were watching the Factor on the night that Saddam's statue fell, but what I said on the air, "Hey, look at these guys looting the armories. What's that all about? You can't let those people do that." And our guys were standing there letting them do it. As soon as I saw that, I went, 'Holy you-know-what, there's no plan to institute martial law and to take step-by-step reconstruction of this country
Yup, that was Bill O'Reilly stating that he predicted the looting in Iraq. The night the statue was torn down O'Reilly was supporting the troops like everyone else.
O'Reilly was on a roll, however, and when you do that you need to explain just what all that fighting that is happening in Iraq is about. O'Reilly went for the age-old "cover your ears and say la la la" method perfected by children to ignore anything they didn't want to hear.
I think the Iraqis have got to step up and at least try to fight for their democracy instead of being this crazy country that Shia wants to kill Sunni...I don't ever want to hear Shia and Sunni again.
I've got to say, O'Reilly, the only way you're not going to hear Shia and Sunni again is if you get out of Iraq immediately. I'm just saying.
Anne Coulter also decided that the world would be better off if everyone she disagreed with just disappeared as well, launching this peace of racist trash.
Six imams removed from a US Airways flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix are calling on Muslims to boycott the airline. If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.
Now the details of the six Imams show they were pretty much looking for trouble, but here we have Coulter once again confusing the few with the many. Anne Coulter, Pierce Bush wants a word with you about racism.
December: Racism, Tom Delay and the War on Christmas return
Still the racism continued, as it was revealed that one of the incoming Democratic Congress, in fact the first Muslim to be elected to such a position, had chosen to swear on the Quran rather than bible.
Of course, we couldn't get the Fox News view of this without a reference to Hitler.
Devotees of multiculturalism and political correctness who do not see how damaging to the fabric of American civilization it is to allow Ellison to choose his own book need only imagine a racist elected to Congress. Would they allow him to choose Hitler's" Mein Kampf," the Nazis' bible, for his oath? And if not, why not?
That was, of course, Sean Hannity, displaying his usual grasp of logic. This mode of thinking was followed by Representative Virgil Goode, who wrote a letter to his constituents explaining why he would not use the Quran on his swearing in day.
When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my hand. I do not subscribe to using the Quran in any way.
You know what, Mr. Goode, you sound like you're a Christian to me and if you're a Christian I don't want you to swear in on the Quran. It would be meaningless to you and therefore the oath you take would be diminished somewhat, and that is why I understand that you want the Representative from Minnesota to swear in on the bible because he's a Muslim and swearing in on the Quran would be meaningless to him…
Wait, I'm confused here. Let me read the rest of your letter.
The Muslim representative from Minnesotta was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran.
Wow, stop immigration so America doesn't have any other religions coming into the country. I wonder what the Native Americans are thinking right now.
Mr. Goode, Pierce Bush would like a word with you.
Getting away from racism, December also saw the television return of Tom Delay, who tried to explain why America was losing the war in Iraq.
It's the fault of the liberals and the media and the Democrats, that from the very beginning have tried to undermine the will of the American people to fight this.
The reason America is losing the war in Iraq is because of the Democrats, the liberals and the American people. Wait… isn't that exactly what Ray Robinson said last week. Ray, are you sure you're not just repeating Republican talking points?
And, of course, December is the season of Christmas and it wouldn't be Christmas without Bill O'Reilly reminding us about the War on Christmas. This time he took time out from his busy schedule explaining to us why the war in Iraq is not a civil war to lie to us about the actions of Best Buy.
Well, how do you know I'm not focused on the sacred aspects? How do you know what I do? I'm just focused on -- and the only reason retail stores came into play was because they ordered -- Best Buy orders its employees not to say "Merry Christmas," according to Best Buy employees. We had one on the radio today.
The facts were, of course, entirely false.
Sounding Off
Well, that's my year in review folks. I'm sure I've missed something important or got some of the facts wrong, so feel free to take time out of your busy schedule stuffing turkey and stuffing the turkey down your throat to correct me on the salient details.
No Shut the Hell Up Award this week, as I'm organizing the end of year Shut the Hell Up Awards, so let me just point out that I caught Presidential Hopeful Tom Vilsack on Comedy Central this week, and although he won me over with the duck thing, he decided that amongst the myriad of good reasons to withdraw from Iraq (climbing death toll, financial burden, damage to America's reputation, creation of further terrorism) he chose perhaps the weakest (force Iraq to take responsibility) as his reason. Consider this a "non-Shut the Hell Up" Shut the Hell Up Award.
Keep reading next week for the year end Shut the Hell Up Awards. Slightly different than I had originally stated but I have proposed a series of nominations that will be voted on by a panel of 411politics writers. Stay tuned.
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