The Murmur of Crow: And the Winner Is...
Posted by Brandon Crow on 03.01.2007
How would a political academy award look?
So this past week was the Academy Awards. I watched it and got inspired. What if we were to apply the academy awards (some of its categories, and some made up) to the world of politics? In the last several years, who would have won these awards?
Best Movie:
An Incovenient Truth. Come on, the film actually won an academy award!
Okay, okay, if you must have a strictly "political occurence" as a film...it would have to be the 2000 Presidential elections. It would be difficult to top all the drama and action that spewed forth from that one.
Unless of course, you went to see the sequel in 2004. How do you beat the tragedy of the Kerry campaign and the sheer horror that became Bush's second term?
Best Cinematography
It's a tie between the Flag-wrapped Bush and...
...Bush using Liberty Island as the site of his one year memorial of 9/11.
Worst Cinematography:
John Kerry windsurfing on a windless lake...moving really slow, like plodding through oatmeal. That really helped his campaign, didn't it...
Best Original Screenplay:
Mission Accomplished!
Best Director:
Who esle could it have been but Karl Rove?
Best Supporting Actor:
Of course it's John McCain who's sold his soul for a shot at becoming President.
Best Supporting Actress:
Even more so than Laura, it has to be Condi Rice.
Best Costume Design:
Can't beat this total makeover from draft dodger to commander in chief.
Worst Costume Design:
John Kerry: Hunter, Bloodthirsty Real Man's Man!
Best Sound Editing:
Any press conference or speech Bush gives.
Worst Sound Editing:
Again, a tie between John Kerry's "voted for before voted against" and his "stuck in Iraq" quotes...
...and the now infamous "I have a scream" speech.
Best Visual Affect:
The army of one.
Best Actress:
Hillary Clinton, hands down, trying to convince the American people to return her to the White House.
And finally, the "piece de resistance"...
Best Actor:
Yes, it is him, for both acting presidential and for lying about "mission accomplished."
I'm sure there are plenty of instances that I've missed. Please send me your thoughts (with pix even!) and I'll see if I can include them in next week's column. Thanks!
Articles You Should Read:
Andrew Lam of the New America Media writes an awesome piece on how Iraq is swiftly replacing Vietnam as the American metaphor for tragedy.
Anna Quindlen says "Tomorrow. That is when the United States should begin to bring combat forces home from Iraq."
Don Lee of the LA Times informs the world that the sleeping dragon has awakened.
STAY CURRENT