What Should Be Done With Old Anger?

Posted by Joshua White on 05.16.2007

What do you do when you can't be angry any more?

I have a question that is predominantly about life, but can be asked about politics as well: What do you do when you can't be angry any more?

Almost a year ago, I was mistreated by someone (I can't give any more details than that). For many months, I was very mad at this person. They did me wrong. They hurt me. They hurt my feelings. Further, they never apologized for it. So, I felt that I had every right to feel the way that I did. They never called to check up on me or see how I was doing. And while it hurt me to not have this person in my life, I was right for acting as I did. They messed up. I shouldn't be the one to call first. Finally, I gave in and called this person. They came over to my place and we talked for quite a while. This person apologized for anything and everything that they did that could have hurt me. They admitted that they did something but did not expect that action to result in something that ultimately caused me the harm. But regardless of what happened, this person apologized. The chapter of my life which caused me so much pain and anger for close to a year is over. The problem is, I still feel angry. I am left asking myself the question: what do I do when I can't be angry any more? What do I do with the anger and hurt that I felt now that the person has apologized?

I guess I could stay angry. This person played a negative roll in my life for the past year, and that fact hasn't changed. I could stay angry at that. But what would be the point? Why keep this feeling alive in my heart? This would play no helpful role in my life. It wouldn't help me progress towards any goals. Nor would it make me feel any better about past transgressions. So what would the point be?

I'm not saying that I should just "forgive and forget." Despite the prevalence of this age old piece of "wisdom" it is a terribly flawed piece of advice. Do you "forgive and forget" your son's murderer and just hang out with him at a barbecue? Do you just "forgive and forget" the man who beats you and stay married to him? The obvious answer to both of these is no. You should forgive. It is good for your soul and spiritual well-being. But to be asked to forget is too much. "Forgive and remember." That is what the piece of advice should be. You forgive the person sincerely, but to let your guard down totally would be foolish.

For a little over six years now George Bush has been our president (despite what some t-shirts would have us believe). Since the time he was running for president against Al Gore in 2000 Bush has been a polemical figure. The controversy surrounding Bush was only enhanced with the outcome of the 2000 election. While Al Gore received one million more votes, it was Bush who won the presidency. All the sudden people were questioning the United States Electoral College and rethinking the popular vote. And for many, this was the official start of their hatred of Bush.

The Left was never really thrilled with Bush. They laughed when he claimed that Jesus was his favorite political philosopher. They couldn't get past the fact that he used to be an alcoholic or that he did cocaine. He ruined a baseball team, he did bad in Yale, and he never saw combat. But when Bush "stole" the election, that was the last straw. From inauguration day forward, the Left was going to hate Bush. Nothing he would do would be good enough. Everything would be flawed, hated, and only done for his interests or those of his "cronies."

This continued until September 11, 2001. For about five minutes, everyone loved Bush. (Who didn't like the speech that he gave from the rubble of the World Trade Center? "I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon." It was concise, powerful, and exactly the message that needed to be sent.) He had us in the palm of his hand until he decided to invade Iraq. Whether he was right or wrong, the Left never really liked that idea (even though many voted for it). Since then the anti-Bush sentiment has been non-stop. He can do no right.

Let's be clear here. The Left doesn't just dislike Bush's policies. They really just hate Bush the man. This feeling is so intense that Bush is likened to Hitler and Satan. I don't care what you think about Bush, he's not as morally or politically bankrupt as Hitler. And he certainly not as evil (or powerful) as Satan. Come on people.

For six years (minus the 9/11 love fest) the Left has hated Bush. He has ruined our country, our relations with other countries, destroyed the economy, and is helping to ruin the environment. Now, I ask you to think about my situation with which I started this column. In about a year and a half, Bush will leave office. Someone new will take his place as president. And my question is what will the Left do with all the vitriol they have for President Bush?

There are a few options. I suppose they could see the new president as a decent individual. A man with differing views, but one who is not inherently bad, just incorrect. But come on now, I hardly see moveon.org simply agreeing to disagree. Silliness.

They could put all their hatred of Bush onto the next candidate. They could hold protests and marches with pictures of Giuliani and Hitler shaking hands or Romney with devil horns. They could claim that because this next Republican isn't going to immediately pull us out of Iraq, he is just as bad as Bush. This wouldn't be fair though. So far, none of the front runners on the right can really be said to have done anything nearly as "bad" as Bush. It would be unjust to simply take all their anger for one man's actions and put it on another. The question here is what good will this do? Sure it'll keep the anti-Republican/Republican-as-evil sentiments alive, but will this be good for the country? Do they care?

Maybe they'll stay mad. They'll hate or like the new president (depending on who wins), but ultimately everything that is bad about our country, no matter who is running it, will be attributable to Bush. It will be spiritually and emotionally unhealthy, but it will satisfy their desire to hate Bush. Many who hate our president do so because they want to. It is easier to hate someone, and call him "stupid" then it is to argue with his policies. And once the man is gone, what can you do when you can't argue with his policies anymore? Continue to hate.

Honestly I have no idea what they're going to do. I know that keeping a grudge is not good in so many ways, but I also know how hard it is to rid one's self of those feelings when it isn't really appropriate to have them any more. I would hope that each side would judge each candidate on the basis of their merits. I know this won't happen. The demonization has already begun and it will continue. Let the ill will towards President Bush go, and fight the issues with the particular candidate. I can only hope that the humanity of the Left will shine through if the Right wins the 2008 election.


Further Reading

Greg Allen explains why we can expect to see the return of the kamikaze.

As the man promotes my brilliance, so too, can I promote his (though mine is more brilliant).

Even though he doesn't promote my brilliance (this week) I'll still promote his column (but not his brilliance).



Finally, a quick note about my last column. I received more emails about my last column on Mormons than I usually do. Apparently Mormons don't like it when you don't correctly describe their religion. So, to get more feedback, next week I'm just going to write a column espousing myths about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Seriously though, I want to correct myself. It seems that Jesus did not live in America, though he did visit it. And the Mormon church was not for segregation, they simply didn't allow black people to be clergy. I apologize for my mistakes and I will try to not let it happen again.

Until next time…don't believe anything unless you read it here (unless it is about the Mormon faith; you don't have to believe what I say about Mormons).