Your Wednesday Enlightenment 06.27.07
Posted by Matthew D.S. on 06.27.2007
The news. And a message for a certain individual.
*The camera fades in to find a sleepy individual. Sleepy. He's getting sleeeeeeepier…but he's got things on his plate, and it ain't food. It's a column. A column of wonder. Of greatness. Of hogwash. Clearly it's the age of said greatness. And it's also another age. What age? Well I'll tell you. Let's just rephrase it again. Ready? Good. The age is at hand.*
*It is the age of the Enlightenment.*
[YourWednesdayEnlightenment.]
The fourth week of YWE will be filled with action and excitement, and maybe even partial nudity.
Just kidding. It's bound to be full of none of these things, save a lot of words typed out very accurately in stylish Times New Roman font - at least it is on this screen, maybe not yours. But that's not my problem.
It's yours!
Now, go read.
Blair Rides Into the Sunset…For Now
London, Wednesday, June 27: British Prime Minister Tony Blair saw his last day in office as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, after a decade in office which saw him hit many highs, and many lows. Mr. Blair formally gave his resignation to Her Majesty the Queen, and Gordon Brown, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer (read Finance Minister) will now head the Labour Government as Prime Minister. Mr. Brown's government has until 2009 or 2010 to call a general election, but there is speculation he may call one for the next year, in order to give credibility to his new administration.
Your new Prime Minister.
Mr. Blair, as a CBC documentary I viewed tonight aptly pointed out, will leave a mixed legacy. His personal charm and panache brought a new style and youthful vigour to Number 10 Downing Street, after over a decade of Thatcherism and following rule of stalwart John Major. Controversy at home however haunted Mr. Blair, with one glaring example being the "evidence" provided for going to war with Iraq - the infamous alleged "sexed up" intelligence dossier comes to mind. Mr. Blair must be given credit though for winning three general elections and for his role in the Northern Ireland peace process. Mr. Blair is now likely to resign from the House of Commons and take on a job of great consequence: Middle Eastern peace envoy. Tony, good luck buddy.
North Korean Nuclear Talks Set to Resume
Pyongyang, Tuesday, June 26: Inspectors representing the International Atomic Energy Agency have arrived in the North Korean capital to discuss shutting down one of its reactors at Yongbyon. The agency's inspectors - whom have not been allowed on North Korean soil since 2002 - will be talking to officials on the closure of the reactor, and procedures for monitoring the shut-down and sealing of said reactor. North Korea shocked the world in October, 2006, after testing its first nuclear weapon.
The talks with North Korea are seen as vital to ending the nuclear threat on the Korean peninsula.
Children Used as Ransom Bait
Bangui, Tuesday, June 26: Amnesty International has released a disturbing report which notes that children in the landlocked African nation the Central African Republic are being kidnapped on an endemic basis, some repeatedly. The nation, which is one of the poorest in the world, has what has been described as a largely lawless northern area, where criminal elements, rebels, and soldiers are free to do as they wish. The children have been ransomed for sums as high as US$4000, with some families reporting their children kidnapped as many as seven times.
Some children and their families have been fleeing to neighbouring countries,
which are also torn with strife.
Some say that Africa is largely the "forgotten continent" and that although aid continues to pour into the land, little has changed. I am one who tends to agree with this. Poverty and violence continue unabated, despite billions of dollars being spent by people here in the West in trying to up the lives of ordinary Africans. Children are our most valuable resource (yes, even more valuable than coal as Mayor Quimby once noted), and the children of today's Africa are being psychologically scarred by ongoing violence in places such as the Central African Republic, and in Darfur, Sudan, just to name two. Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, has urged nations to "redouble" efforts to end the misery in Darfur. So, what's taking so damn long? The nations have the power and ability to change any misery that we inflict upon ourselves - they just choose not to. Will the children of the CAR be aided? Perhaps, but for now, they, and the world, wait.
And now for this week's "Moment." I have had no hesitation choosing this week's subject.
"A Moment of Anger."
I'm angry at you, Chris Benoit. For what you did. For taking the lives of your wife and your innocent little boy, for no damn reason. Did you snap, Chris? Was it the drugs? The steroids? I hear you were injecting your son with human growth hormone also. What made you do it Benoit? You're now relegated to the annals of history as a murderer. You placed Bibles next to the bodies of your son and your wife. I can only pray to God that you placed one next to yours as you hanged yourself. Farewell Chris.
What a shame.
And now with that off my chest, it's now once again time for, "This Just In."
And what better way to flush your time down the toilet by waiting for me to spin a globe.
*waits*
*waits*
Getting annoyed yet?
*waits*
*waits*
What do you mean you're going to leave the site?! You TYRANT!
*spins the globe*
Congratulations FEDERATIVE REPUBLIC OF BRAZIL, it's your turn to shine!
The story that tops the Yahoo! Brazil page (one wouldn't even think they would have such a page?) is the continued popularity of Brazilian President Lula da Silva, despite ongoing scandals and violence throughout the city. Obviously he's taking after the Bill Clinton school of popularity. 'Cept Clinton only got a blowjob - therefore combining scandal and violence into one.
Bubba's proud!
Reference: http://news.yahoo.com
Your fourth edition of Your Wednesday Enlightenment is now in the books - much like my journalistic career, because you know someday after I win my few Pulitzers - perhaps a Nobel Prize too - I will be written about copiously by various academics, and you can say to you and your friends, "Hey! You know that guy? The former Prime Minister of Canada? I used to read his cruddy column on 411!"
Don't you feel special now?
Anyhow, send me feedback and I might just mail you a dime. MAYBE. Until next time, remember:
STAY CURRENT