Your Wednesday Enlightenment 07.11.07
Posted by Matthew D.S. on 07.11.2007
What to do with that spare $165 million sitting around the house.
*The camera fades in to find your hero sleepy. Mentally tired, largely due to his inane job. He wishes to return to the halls of education, but because he was too late in applying, the monster of RETAIL continues to hold him in its evil clutches. SUPERMAN, SAVE ME!! But let's be realistic. This isn't the age of superheroes, heavens no! It's another age. The age is at hand.*
*It is the age of the Enlightenment.*
[YourWednesdayEnlightenment.]
YWE is now in its sixth year - erm - week of greatness, and has influenced people on every continent, largely because of the ever-popular This Just In segment. People from around the world have flooded me with email begging me to feature their nation.
In fact, world peace has been declared largely on the basis of this column!
And if you believe that, then may I remind you to pick up your weekly copy of "The Weekly World News."
I just read recently that a NEW Ten Commandments were just discovered.
Yeahhhhhhhhhh…*makes weed smoking gesture*
News time.
Zimbabwe Teeters On the Brink
Harare, Monday, July 9: In the nation which has the highest annual rate of inflation on the planet - 3700% - even a journey to buy groceries is a harrowing and difficult task. Because of the critical financial crisis Zimbabwe finds itself in - many would say due to President Robert Mugabe's economic policies - the government there implemented price controls on items, resulting in many items becoming below cost. Police swept in and arrested or fined over 1300 shop owners because of their alleged breaking of the price controls. Many individuals rushed into stores once prices dropped, causing many of the businesses to simply close for failure to make any money. This latest crisis is just one of many that the beleaguered nation has faced over the past few years.
Empty shelves are now a common sight due to panic buying.
Zimbabwe has been ruled by Robert Mugabe since 1980, and he has evolved from freedom fighter to dictator. Most observers believe that the elections of years past have been rigged or corrupted in some fashion, and that opposition is not encouraged whatsoever. The suffering of the people in Zimbabwe is by all accounts great, and the world, whether at the UN, or within Africa, need to come together to help out the people before hell breaks loose. Nations have their breaking points before revolution begins from below. Either outside factors or internal ones may push Zimbabwe to the edge, and Mr. Mugabe had better pray that his fall - if he ever does - will be soft. Until now one can only hope that a possible plan to link Zimbabwe's currency to that of South Africa, the rand, may help stabilize prices and costs. Otherwise more stories, such as a woman whom the BBC quoted as saying, that a banana now costs more than the house she purchased in 2000, will continue to abound.
Harper Cold as Ice When it Comes to Sovereignty
Vancouver, Monday, July 9: Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper made a bold announcement that is set to firm Canada's sovereignty in the Arctic North, despite differences of opinions with the Americans and others. The Prime Minister made a C$3 billion commitment to build six ice faring naval patrol vessels along with a deep-water port to re-assert Canada's claim on the far reaching Arctic land and its waters. The environmentally-sensitive area is thought to be resource rich, but many nations such as the United States claim that some of the waters are not bound to Canada, but rather are international. This would affect Canada's jurisdiction and claim to said resources and also, shipping passages, so billions, or more, could be at stake.
Desire for the treasures that lurk beneath must be
balanced with protecting the environment.
Bravo, Mr. Harper. Yes you heard me right: bravo, Mr. Harper. I am fully behind any and all efforts to assert Canada's sovereignty in the Arctic, or anywhere for that matter, as long as it has a basis in law and is in our best interests. Do I have anything else to say on this? Not really. I just hope that while many will see dollar signs in terms of the resources that may be hiding, such as natural gas and diamonds, that the fragile ecosystem will be given top priority.
Former Chinese FDA Head Loses His Head - Figuratively
Beijing, Tuesday, July 10: The former head of the Chinese state Food and Drug Administration has been executed. The guilty party, Zheng Xiaoyu, was found guilty of accepting bribes from drug companies to legalize drugs that did not work, which resulted in the deaths of many innocent people. Mr. Xiaoyu asked that his sentence be reduced, given that he had cooperated with the authorities and admitted his guilt, but his plea was turned down. This execution comes at a time when many Chinese produced consumer goods, from toothpaste to pet food to seafood are being questioned due to health concerns from abroad.
Better days.
And now for this week's "Moment." It's very vacuous, but we all a need a little bit of vacuous in our lives, outside of Dubya's press conferences..
"A Moment of Holy Crap That's A lot of Money."
I know, doesn't look like much to look at, at least in this small little snapshot. But this home in Beverly Hills, California, is now listed for the bargain basement price of US$165 million (a US record) and boasts 29 bedrooms and three swimming pools, a movie theatRE and a nightclub. It was once owned by tycoon William Randolph Hurst, who was a newspaper magnate. Well what can I say, but with 29 bedrooms, I'd expect a certain Miss P. Hilton to express her interest.
Hold onto your hats and gloves and other outdoor apparel, call the neighbours, and get the dog (although I am a cat person), it's time for your weekly thrill: i.e., "This Just In."
Since I teased you all so much last time around with the anticipation a la Bob Barker ("What number did you say?" "What would you do with that car?" OH BOB you smart ARSE), I'll just get to the damn point.
*spins the globe*
Congratulations MONGOLIA, it's your turn to shine!
Yes it's Asia yet again, I can't help it, it's just the way things are…or maybe it's the way I spin ye olde globe, but regardless, here we go!! The top news story down…or around…there, is the anticipated visit of Crown Prince of Japan Naruhito, who is arriving to mark the 35th anniversary of diplomatic ties between their two lands.
When you think desert, think Mongolia!
Reference: http://www.mongolia-web.com/
I'm only kidding, I'm sure Mongolia is a land of wonder and intrigue and wonderful people and scenery. If you want me to find out, one of you rich people can send me a cheque for $100 000 and I'll make sure to visit and investigate the truth of that statement. Or something. Either way the $100 000 will be used, I guarantee it. In the mean time, these immortal words are for you. Until next time, remember:
STAY CURRENT