The Ugly Un-American 12.11.07: 2007 Year in Quotation Marks (January through June)
Posted by Ray Church on 12.11.2007
Welcome to Ugly Un-American's 2nd year in review, all told from the perspective of the dumbest things said in politics this year.
January
Our year started early this year. Well, okay, it started January the 1st like it always does, but normally we have to wait a while before someone says something stupid. People are busy with the holidays, or they make their New Year's Resolutions… things like "I will not say anything stupid this year"…
Not CNN, though. They started the New Year big with this headline:
Where's Obama?
Only problem was they posted it across a picture of Osama Bin Laden, starting a tradition this year of getting Barrack Obama's name wrong. This wasn't the only way to get into trouble talking about Barrack Obama, however, as Joe Biden found out…
I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. […] I mean, that's a storybook, man.
And the media snake pit went vile, noting that Joe Biden seemed surprised by there being an articulate, bright, clean and nice looking African American in US politics. Others pointed to Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Shirley Chisolm all ran for President before him. Funnily enough, nobody mentioned Alan Keyes.
In all the furor, nobody noticed a similarly racist comment on talk back radio…
As a Halfrican-American, I am honored to have Ms. Berry's support as well as the support of other Halfrican-Americans.
That was Rush Limbaugh, pretending to be Barrack Obama, accepting the fictitious support of Halle Berry. That guy is just all class, and we'll return to him later before this year is out.
Limbaugh wasn't the only person screwing with fictions in January, as Alberto Gonzales, a man who would be a center of the storm later in the year, decided he was a legal expert. Given his qualifications, this would seem to be a safe observation, until you listen to his logic.
There is no express grant of habeus in the constitution. There is a prohibition against taking it away
So, you don't have a right to due process, you have a right not to not have due process…
His boss wasn't doing much better either.
I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude. That's the problem here in America. They wonder whether or not there is gratitude level that's significant enough in Iraq.
Mmm, so the problem with Iraq is that the Iraqis aren't happy with being invaded. You know, I wouldn't be happy if my country were invaded either, but I think that was Bush's quote last year.
For heartless comments, however, even the President couldn't compete. January belonged to Bill O'Reilly.
I'm not buying this. If, if you're eleven years old, or twelve years old, thirteen, and you have a strong bond with your family, OK. Even if the guy threatens you - this and that. ... If you can get away, you get away.
That was O'Reilly talking about Shawn Hornbeck, a teenager who was abducted, kept captive for four years, and intermittently abused. O'Reilly proved he had never heard of Stockholm Syndrome, and neither it seems, had O'Reilly heard of consistency.
But to far-left actor Sean Penn, who consistently sides with America's enemies, that really isn't much of a problem at all…
Sides with Americas enemies… that must mean he's "Anti-American", right?
You know that the Fondas and Penns are going to say, "Listen, I'm as American as you are, Michelle Malkin. I just see things differently." And I'm willing to give them the benefit of that doubt. I don't want to say that they're anti-American.
That occurred within the space of one interview. If you read on until November, I'll point out another irony O'Reilly started back in January when he explained…
everybody's going to remember that Howard Dean didn't know that Job was in the Old Testament
Wait for it… wait for it…
February:
As we end January with self confessed experts on Christianity, we begin February on the same theme; with Tucker Carlson criticizing Barrack Obama's church for being a little too radical.
It's making them racially specific. Again, Christianity -- this is something that I am actually qualified to discuss -- is, it seems to me, almost explicitly anti-racial. The idea is that we are all equal in the eyes of God. And when you espouse a theology that is racially exclusive, as this appears to be, it's hard to call that Christianity. I think it's pretty easy to call it wrong.
Now, I'm certainly a big fan of Christianity, even if I'm not a Christian, and I certainly agree that Christianity is not, at heart, a racist religion. Two so-called experts on Christianity, however, seemed hell-bent on proving me, and Tucker Carlson, wrong.
I dealt with him earlier today on an MSNBC show, and I said we could hypothesize that there'd be a Columbia University pingpong team made of Asians, and somebody goes out there and says, "All gooks go home." So I asked him about my gook joke. And guess what? Andy's sense of humor just collapsed. He found that offensive. You see what you are? You're a phony. You're a typical Ivy League little brat who thinks it's OK to dump on Catholics, but you don't like my gook joke. Now, what's wrong with a gook joke?
That's none other than Bill Donahue, head of the Catholic League, and as I work with a number of Catholics, I will refuse to associate Catholicism with Donahue's skewed world view, especially when he followed up with…
Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular.
Pat Robertson, not to be outdone, chimed in with some racist backwash of his own. He was discussing plastic surgery, when he came out with…
Yeah, they got the eyes like they're Oriental, and, you know, it's all pulled. So, make sure you do it right.
Writing this down loses some of the impact, as you get to see Pat Robertson pull his eyes like he's back in high school picking on the foreign exchange kids.
Didn't [Sen.] Hillary [Rodham] Clinton [D] not even attend one 9-11 memorial service?
No, that wasn't me, that was Dennis Miller setting up a loaded question to Bill O'Reilly…
That is correct
No, Bill O'Reilly, it wasn't.
Still, Dennis Miller's beard was less upsetting than John Stossel's porn-star moustache.
But, you know, I guess you can't deny that the globe has warmed. Climate changes. It's warmed a little. The issue is, is it a bad thing? It may be a good thing.
Yes, John Stossel, it's a bad thing. I thought this would be self evident, but Stossel decided to carry on anyway.
And is it a catastrophe, where we have to wreck the lives of poor people and turn our freedom over to Al Gore and he'll tell us what we can drive and whether we can air-condition our house?
Yes, it is a catastrophe that will wreck the lives of poor people. You don't like the options Al Gore gives you? Imagine the options you lack if Al Gore is right…
March
John Stossel may have been one person trying to spin catastrophe into capitalism, but it was nothing like Bill O'Reilly trying to spin the hijacking of 15 British Sailors into… well, I'm not sure what he was thinking when he said…
This is good. This is a good thing.
He wasn't the only right wing commentator to open his mouth and insert his foot either.
I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I'm - so, kind of at an impasse
So, John Edwards joined Al Gore and Bill Clinton on the list of non-gay Democrats outed by Ann Coulter. If Ann Coulter wants to go around outing people, the Republicans added another this year, but that's still to come.
And speaking of sexual revelations…
I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials.
That was Newt Gingrich's admission that while he was leading the charge against William Jefferson Clinton's sexual indiscretions, he was committing a few sins of adultery on the side himself. Some say he was testing the waters for a Presidential bid, but as of writing this, that hasn't happened.
Newt wasn't the only former speaker of the house making waves in March.
liberals have finally joined the ranks of scoundrels like Hitler
Those liberals… how dare they examine Tom Delay's financial improprieties! This, from a man who hoped last year that people would find Jesus through his mugshot…
April
Tom Delay continued his barrage of idiocracy in April when he declared…
I think Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are very very close to treason
Why? For daring to say the President had lost the Iraq war. Now, if you want to go this route, I understand if you disagree with their assessment if you want to stand up and call them wrong. I understand if you want to call them stupid. But treason?
And then there was the rewriting of history.
I think it was Osama bin Laden's [idea to start the Iraq war]
That was Karl Rove. Somehow, Iraq was everybody's fault but his this year, as we shall see later.
Meanwhile, George Tenet was blaming everyone but himself as well.
As if he needed me to say "Slam Dunk" to go to war with Iraq.
But he did anyway. That lead him to spend April explaining how he was against the war in the first place and he had never sided with the president on this one. Tenet must have found out that the Congressional Medal of Freedom they gave him was made of chocolate.
That didn't stop him throwing this doozey around.
We don't torture people. Let me say that again to you. We don't torture people, OK.
Except, as the record would show this year, the US did. Repeatedly. In fact, as I write this, there is a huge debate as to what happened to certain video tapes recording one such "harsh interrogation".
I know you're waiting for it.
You know its coming.
Perhaps the biggest dumbest quote of April came on a morning show no one seemed to have a problem with. It was populated by politicians and pundits every morning, none of whom seemed to take offense at the regular bursts of racism and sexism, but one short burst later…
They are some nappy headed hos there
Suddenly everybody was apoplectic. Don Imus? No, never listen to his show. Never been on his show.
Yes, it was a stupid, offensive comment, but it was hardly new from Don Imus, who had made similar comments before.
May
In May, all perspective goes out the window.
The question is, who ought to make that decision? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear — I'm a commander guy.
Yes, the Decider, who was mild mannered George W. Bush in his secret identity, suddenly changed his superhero persona to "Commander Guy". And his Lois Lane?
I thought he was wonderful to be around… I thought he had just an incredibly inquisitive mind
Not quite how we would expect someone to describe George W. Bush, but for Condaleeza Rice, it was the same as Clark Kent wearing glasses… she just couldn't see what is so obvious to the rest of us.
Condaleeza had a new worker in her department as well, one who was strangely getting paid more than she was. The reason? A certain suave Machiavelli at the head of the World Bank used his swagger to get a position for his amour. When the scheme was revealed, Paul Wolfowitz went all Godfather on their ass…
If they fuck with me, I have enough on them to fuck them too
But no, he didn't, as he put it, fuck with them too. He stepped down in a cloud of shame, although he did avoid getting fired, so maybe he did have some clout.
Self delusion was not solely the domain of the Administration, however.
The Factor is lifting the boycott of France. However, ‘Boycott France' bumper stickers do remain available on BillOReilly.com for nostalgia purposes, and you never know… we may have to re-impose it.
That was Bill O'Reilly, explaining how he was lifting his fictitious boycott of France, which he justified by referring to a fictitious article in the fictitious "Paris Business Review", which he claimed lead to a fictitious loss of billions of dollars in exports from France to the USA (reality, French exports to the US increased between 2003 and 2006) because they dared to criticize the fictitious evidence the Bush Administration presented to justify their fictitious war.
June
June was a fine time for distancing yourself from Bill O'Reilly, as the chairman of Fox News, Rupert Murdock did. When asked if Fox News represents his political views:
Yes! No! Yes and no. The commentators are not. Bill O'Reilly certainly not. Geraldo Rivera certainly not.
Sean Hannity? Not mentioned. I wonder why. The laugh track kicked in on the next line, however.
But Brit Hume and his team on the nightly news? Yes. They play it absolutely straight!
This was the same company that received an internal memo in 2006 informing them to "be on the lookout for any statements from the Iraqi insurgents, who must be thrilled at the prospect of a Dem-controlled congress". In August, Fox News would be caught editing Wikipedia articles on Keith Olbermann, Chris Wallace, Al Franken and Brit Hume to make the more favourable to Fox and less favourable to their enemies.
Still, Murdock wasn't the only person deluded in his praise.
You write beautifully. You have a brilliant brain.
That was Chris Matthews. He was describing… Ann Coulter? Brilliant brain? OOOKKKKAAAYYYY…
Here was Ann Coulter that same month.
I do think anyone named B. Hussein Obama should avoid using 'hijack' and 'religion' in the same sentence
Brilliant, brilliant brain. Note the repetition of the Osama / Obama confusion. Michael Savage carried on this same line of attack.
Of course he had a background, as you all know, in a Muslim madrassa in Indonesia, which has been swept aside by Moloch and the others in the media who don't want you to know about his full background.
OK, a short lesson on the word Madrassa. While, in the west it may be confused with the words "Terrorist Training Camp", in Arabic madrassah mean school. Now, lets play a game of transposition.
he had a background, as you all know, in a Muslim (school) in Indonesia
The school itself, while Muslim, was nothing to do with indoctrination or terrorism. In fact it was one of the most competitive schools in Jakarta, with an excellent reputation for teaching children.
They didn't educate Obama well enough to avoid the same pitfall himself…
Hillary Clinton (D-Punjab)
That was from an Obama Campaign memo, describing Hillary Clinton's financial ties to India. This from the candidate who claimed to understand the international perspective.
George Bush, meanwhile, was once again deluding himself.
I'll see you at the bill signing.
That bill? That would be the much maligned immigration bill that Bush's own party was opposed to.
Back soon with July through December. Until then...
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