The End of Year Shut the Hell Up Awards 2007: Part Three – The “Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine” Award

Posted by Ray Church on 01.15.2008

Part three in the eight part series, documenting the dumbest things said in 2007. This award goes to those statements that truly made you doubt the sanity of the speaker.

Welcome back to part three of the series documenting the dumbest things said in politics in the previous year. This time, it's those things that make you truly doubt the sanity of the person who said it.

Last year, this award went to John Gibson for his exhortation to the white people of America to make more babies. This year the competition is steep, with a tie for 2nd place and only one vote separating third from the next two nominees.

Once again, I would like to thank Ryan Latimer, Mark Radulich, Brandon Crow, Joe Rivett and Dan Martin for their assistance in this column.

So, on with the show.

Dishonorable mention

Dennis Kucinich

It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It's like, it's unidentified. I saw something

Dennis Kucinich proved why he is such an outside chance for the Presidency. While its great to have a politician speak his mind and be so forthright with the voters, the drawback is that sometimes those thoughts can be a little "out there", as in "the truth is out there"…

Dishonorable Mention

Dick Cheney

So the Vice President is kind of a unique creature, if you will, in that you've got a foot in both branches (Executive and Legislative)

Ryan Latimer: He forgot the fifth branch of government.

Brandon Crow: This is Orwellian doublespeak at its best.

And so Dick Cheney narrowly avoids third place. He actually had more votes than some of the other candidates, but as everybody made him their second or third place vote, he just didn't cut it this year. If you thought it was bad that Alberto Gonzales would not admit that the constitution gives a clear right to habeus corpus, how about a Vice President who doesn't know if he's in the White House or the Senate.

I would bring up the "wide stance", but that's for a latter award.

Drum roll please.

2nd Runner Up:

Condoleeza Rice

I thought he was wonderful to be around… I thought he had just an incredibly inquisitive mind

(describing George W. Bush)

Dan Martin: Didn't Miss Rice once call him her "husband" in an interview? Frightening.

Brandon Crow: This one's pretty self explanatory, eh?

Pretty much, Brandon, pretty much. This was Miss Rice in a recent biography of her explaining why she had so much time for George W. Bush. To the best of my knowledge, the event Dan Martin describes is also true…

1st Runner Up (tied):

Michael Savage

You're telling me there's no possibility of a conspiracy by the Democrats

(referring to the illness of Chief Justice Roberts)

Ryan Latimer: Ah, come on. Let Savage live in his little world. I'm sure it's much more exciting there. Better than drugs, I'm willing to bet.

Brandon Crow: RIIIIGHHHT! It's the Democrats who concoct conspiracies… O-Tay!

Joe Rivett: He says something that makes me question his sanity every week.

Normally conspiracy theorists muddle over murders and assassinations to try and find connections. A few have thrown about the possibility of conspiracy when it comes to war, but a man has a seizure?

Ironically I saw some left wing websites calling it an Act of God. Maybe God was in on the conspiracy?

OK, Dan, make the quote that shows you work at 411…

Dan Martin: Randy Savage might be more in touch with reality.

Best one liner of the show, folks. Best one liner of the show.

1st Runner Up (tied):

Ted Nugent

Hey Obama, you might want to suck on one of these you punk. Obama, he's a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset you worthless bitch. How about Barbara Boxer, she might want to suck on my machine gun…

You really don't get the full effect of this unless you see Ted Nugent strutting the stage with a machine gun in each hand, so hell, let's see it…



Joe Rivett: He going to be the next Michael Richards/Don Imus.

Maybe. Where I grew up, Ted Nugent sat on the shelf next to AC/DC and Iron Maiden. It sickens me now to think that many of the people I listened to his albums with are people he has thrown racist comments at over the years, but this one takes it over the edge.

As a non-American, he is one of those people that I sincerely fear having the Right to Bare Arms.

OK, the big one.

The "Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine" Award Winner

Sherri Sheppard

I don't know

(Her response to the question "is the world flat?")

Ryan Latimer: Goodness gracious, Sherri. I'm not really sure I can add anything to that one.

Dan Martin: Wow those Greeks were really ahead of the times when they noticed how ships moving to the horizon seemed to disappear and figured the world was round.

Joe Rivett: Took Tom Friedman a little too seriously.


Yup, that's Sherri Sheppard taking two in a row, both the Pet Goat Award and the RUTBAFOM Award (yup, that acronym will definitely not take off). She joined the view in September and somehow, with only four months left in the year, managed to take home two awards here at 411politics. That, in itself, must be a record of some kind.

So, this years "Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine" Award… Sherri Sheppard.

Join us again soon for the "Career Suicide" Award, where Alberto Gonzales, Larry Craig and Don Imus go head to head.