Story Time with E 01.31.08: Geert Wilders’ New Anti-Koran Film Should Be The Bomb

Posted by Enrique on 01.31.2008

Dutch MP Geert Wilders has made a new film featuring the Koran. No one has seen the film yet, but this is the same fellow that wanted to ban the Koran in the Netherlands last year. Wilders is blatantly trying to provoke a violent backlash from the Netherlands’ radical Islamist minority. And his hair is very silly. Another chapter in the battle for civilization unfolds…

It's been a thrilling week in American presidential politics! Barack TOTALLY stomped Hillary's ass in South Carolina, and nothing warms my heart like Hillary losing an election. I have to savor it now, because I suspect Hillary isn't in for many more election losses this year. Still, I have this lingering (and probably misguided) fantasy of Barack The Dragon Slayer vis-à-vis the Hildabeast, which was stoked by Obama's overwhelming S.C. victory. Adding to the intrigue, John Edwards suspended his campaign yesterday, and hasn't yet made an endorsement. On the GOP side, McCain has emerged as the man to beat, while Romney has cemented his status as everyone's second choice. Meanwhile, the current President – remember him? – gave his final State of the Union address on Monday. If I could sum the speech up in two words, it would be – "sounds expensive." And if that weren't enough, it turns out that former President Bill Clinton thinks all black presidential candidates look the same.

So let's forget about all that and turn now to this man.



The story so far…

The man with the very silly hair is one Geert Wilders. This Wilders is an interesting chap. He's a Dutch MP and leader of the rightist Freedom Party. In MSM terms, Wilders has a reputation as a "divisive" politician. In the past, he's made a few inflammatory comments about the religion of Islam. Specifically, Wilders has compared the Koran to Hitler's Mein Kampf and tried to have the holy book banned in the Netherlands. In other words, Wilders has a nuanced view on freedom of expression. I think we can all agree that a desire to ban any book counts as a strike against Wilders. Bad, Geert! Bad! Bad! Bad!

On the plus side, Geert has a fabulous indie filmmaker alter-ego:

Dutch politician Geert Wilders is relishing the controversy sparked by a 10-minute film in which he intends to criticize the Koran.

The leader of the right-wing Freedom Party revealed in November that he would make the film, in which he will seek to demonstrate that the Koran is "a source of inspiration for intolerance, murder and terror."

...Last week, Syria's Grand Mufti Ahmad Badr al-Din Hassoun said that if the Freedom Party leader tears up or burns a Koran in his film, "this will simply mean he is inciting wars and bloodshed. And he will be responsible. It is the responsibility of the Dutch people to stop Wilders."

First of all, I'd like to thank Geert Wilders for marrying two of my favorite interests – religion-bashing and not-paying-attention. I'm sure I can spare ten minutes of my time in hopes of seeing some righteous Koran desecration. Now you've raised my hopes, Geert. If I sit through ten minutes and I don't see any gratuitous blasphemy, I'm going to send you an indignant e-mail. Yeah, take THAT. Regrettably, the film has no specified release date. Apparently Wilders planned to show it by now on Dutch television, in the "Freedom Party" time slot, but it fell through. Apparently they have PBS in the Netherlands, good for them. But now I'm perplexed, because I want to see Geert's movie!


"I want you to see my movie!"

I can hardly wait, Geert! Second of all – who the hell is this Syrian Grand Mufti Ahmad Badr al-Din Hassoun? Where does Grand Mufti Assface get off threatening war and bloodshed? It's just a movie, dude. If you don't like it, don't buy a ticket. I don't remember Jews waging war and bloodshed when "Passion of the Christ" came out. The damn thing is only ten minutes long. If I were to film a Koran desecration, it would be two hours long, and that would just be bodily fluids. I'd save burning the Koran for the sequel. Suck it, Grand Mufti.

As it happens, Wilders' film arrives at a fascinating point in Dutch history. The Netherlands has had a very tenuous relationship with its radical Muslim population, highlighted by the 2004 murder of Theo Van Gogh. Theo had made a short film called "Submission" that criticized Islam's subjugation of women. Given that precedent, it's safe to say that Geert is begging for an assassination attempt. Currently, he's under 24/7 armed guard, and apparently he's a cranky fellow who doesn't mind tempting fate. In a sense, he's taken up the crusade of former Dutch MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who also currently lives under armed guard, even after fleeing to the U.S. Ali collaborated with Van Gogh on the aforementioned "Submission," so it appears Geert isn't merely emulating her so much as idol worshipping. Maybe he's just trying to get her attention. "Hey, Ayaan, I made a 10-minute movie about how Islam sucks, just like you did! We have so much in common! Can I buy you lunch some time?" Awwww, and who wouldn't be a sucker for those eyes? He's sexy in a shy kind of way.



You'd think a guy who has to live with 'round the clock security wouldn't want to draw so much attention to himself. Geert fashions himself as quite the agent provocateur, no? I suppose if I was feeling uncharitable, I'd call him an "attention whore," but in this case, Geert's right on the facts. When asked in a recent interview (video here) why he feels the need to provoke attacks on himself and others, Wilders makes the right case – if you choose to moderate your rhetoric or other mode of expression in order to please those who make death threats, you're validating their undemocratic tactics. I think we can all get behind that idea.

When Geert's film hits Youtube, we'll watch it alongside "Submission" for a very special Movie Time with E. Try and contain yourselves, dear readers. And finally, let's have one more photo of the man I never get tired of looking at.



Incidentally, the 411 Department of Standards & Practices requires me to note that I'm using "Koran" now instead of "Qur'an." I'm taking the easy way out. I never liked that apostrophe anyway.