Ouroboros

Posted by Dave Schilling on 11.18.2008

...or "The Death of the American Auto Industry and Why We Shouldn't Let Them Die"

I'm sure most of you saw Quantum of Solace this past weekend. I'm also sure most of you remarked to yourself "shit, why do they have James Bond driving a Ford again?!"

Well...at least I said that.

It's a shame our auto industry is so pathetic and hobbled that the sight of a fictional character driving an American car in a movie is giggle-worthy. With the country fixated on the drama surrounding the possible bailout of the so-called "Big Three" (or more appropriately, "The Three Stooges") auto-makers, I thought I'd do a little digging into what new wares Ford chose to hock in the latest Bond film.

First up is the Ford Ka, which you might have seen the newest Bond girl, Camille, driving during the Haiti sequence. The first thing that jumps out at me is that this car isn't available in the United States. Usually, when you hear about a car being sold exclusively in Europe, it means one thing: it's small and gets great gas mileage. There are multiple variations on this line, with the most economical cars getting up to 45.6 miles per gallon.

It also looks like a Geo Prism.

For those of you who remember the Geo, you know that I am not throwing out a compliment.

The other Ford that features prominantly is the Edge. The Edge IS available in the United States. It's a sporty SUV, or what the industry calls a "crossover" SUV because it has the space of a larger vehicle with the performance of a regular sedan. It gets a whopping 17 MPG in the city and 24 MPG on the highway. Now that sounds more like an American car to me. A solid kick to the ol' pocketbook, an Edge will run you from $24,000 to $30,000. A Ford Ka that gets 40 MPG will cost a European 7,995 Euros, which is about $16,000.

High prices and low gas mileage "come standard" in most American cars. That sticker shock shouldn't come as any surprise to you all. What should be surprising is a little detail in that first blog article about the Edge. In Quantum of Solace, Bond drives a Ford Edge during the final act of the movie. If you look closely, it's labeled as a "Hydrogen fuel cell" car. Guess what? Ford doesn't sell Hydrogen fuel cell Edges. That car wasn't even running on Hydrogen. It was a regular gas guzzler with some stickers slapped on it.

But fret not, little children Ford promises to put their "HySeries" Edges on the market soon! 2010, you'll get a REAL version of the planet-saving car James Bond pretended to drive in Quantum of Solace...if you live in Canada.

You all live in Canada, right?

Wait, you don't? A lot of you live in America? And you want to drive a Hydrogen fuel cell car? Have you learned nothing? When it comes to the American market, the Three Stooges talk a lot, they spends millions of dollars (much of it from government subsidies) desiging "alternative fuel" cars and then never put them into the hands of consumers. The American car industry is the proverbial snake eating its own tail, unwilling to innovate. And make no mistake about it, it is an unwillingness, not an inability. GM, Ford and Chevy had (operative word is "had") billions of dollars at their disposal to get the electric car up and running, to beat the Japanese to hybrid technology. All of these opportunities were squandered. The Three Stooges' commitment to alternative energy is as fake as that Hydrogen car from the Bond movie. Throwing a sticker on a car doesn't make it efficient. Throwing billions of dollars at a car company doesn't make that company efficient either.

Outside of the most strident fiscal conservatives, few Americans want to see these companies liquidate. The domino effect would be catastrophic, leaving countless layoffs in its wake. What your average William F. Buckley wannabe says is "they made bad business decisions, so let them die." My heart doesn't typically bleed for rich old white guys either, but consider the fact that this is the absolute best time in recent history for the American government to assert its authority over the future of transportation in the country.

The automakers are desperate for a handout. The United States will go on without GM, but can GM go on without the help of the United States. Not bloody likely. The preconditions for a GM bailout should be as thick as the Manhattan phone book. Emission standards, mandatory alternative fuel models with hard release dates that can't be screwed with, temporary congressional oversight; they should all be on the table. GM can be an almighty beast of progress, a company that can credibly compete with the Japanese for the American auto market. Our government will just have to see this moment and take it.

It is clear that the entrepreneurs of Detroit have failed us. The braindrain in the auto industry is shocking. The best and the brightest flock to Silicon Valley, and no one can blame them. Who wants to work at a company run by modern-day robber barons? GM can make the "People's Car" in a time of economic strife; a vehicle made on a budget for people on a budget. People want sleek, efficient cars, so let's give it to them. Take that tail out of the snake's mouth and set him loose on Toyota.