Joe the Plumber Feels "Dirty"

Posted by Dave Schilling on 12.10.2008

And I say to him, "Welcome to the Club."

I don't know about you, but I am thrilled to see that Joe the Plumber is still making headlines. He is quoted as saying that John McCain made him feel "dirty" during the campaign and that some of the things he said were "scary." I completely agree. Thank God for Joe the Plumber, who always tells it like it is…unless he's campaigning for someone, in which case, he will hold his tongue until long after that campaign is over.

I realize that it is the proverbial fish in a barrel to mock this doofus. I also see the irony in succumbing to his naked grab for attention by coming at him for his naked grab for attention. Regardless, I speak up because this guy didn't need to say any of what he said. We all knew these things about the McCain campaign. The shocking secret is that the American public realized John McCain's campaign was both "scary" and "appalling." The election results laid that bare for all to see. We figured that out when McCain trotted your visage out in pubic, Mr. the Plumber. The only person who more greatly defined the embarrassment of the McCain campaign than JTP was his new best friend, Sarah Palin.

"I wish people would listen to her and let them, and let her work for us. You know, she wants to serve us. She's not looking for power." – Joe T. Plumber

Whenever anyone says that a politician is "not looking for power," it makes me want to reach for my copy of the Federalist Papers and throw it in the general direction of the person who uttered such foolishness. A politician not looking for power is like a missile fired without a target. If you run for office, the reward for winning is not a big hug, some blankets to hand out to the homeless and a paintbrush. It's the power to decide the course of human events.

If Sarah Palin, JTP or any of these so-called altruistic individuals who just want to "sacrifice" for us were sincere in their austerity and innocence I think their life choices would be just slightly different. If Sarah Palin was such a selfless warrior for good, why would she be running for office at all as opposed to the millions of other things she could do in life that don't require her to spend months raising money, schmoozing and exposing herself to criticism? I will not insult the readers of this website by listing all the thing she could do that don't include the possibility of being rejected as thoroughly as she was in November, but I will say that one of those things rhymes with "shmamunity shmorganizer" and leave it at that. If I'm off-base here, then JTP's country album must be some kind of noble public service, also.

I am sure Sarah Palin would like to see America thrive. I am sure JTP has some patriotic leanings as well. The problem with his redundant criticisms of John McCain is that Sen. McCain cares about America too. So does Barack Obama. These people all have that in common, but they also share a desire to be seen and recognized. No one runs for political office unless they have some deep-seated, self-centered nature in addition to a desire to lend a hand. It is very easy to toil in obscurity doing good deeds. It's much harder to be President…or a pop singer. People do these grand things because they have grand egos. JTP just can't help but continue to suck the media off in an effort to keep what little spotlight he has left. He will gladly throw John McCain off a cliff to keep his influence in an age where McCain is politically marginalized. Sarah Palin has plenty of years left in the national conversation. She's the darling of the whacko Right. It is not out of pure altruism that he says what he says.

The Sarah Palin story has been and will continue to be appropriate karmic justice though. Her legacy will forever be tied with Mr. the Plumber. They are a couple of the biggest embarrassments in American political history. These shallow cartoon characters are John McCain's shame; mutant children born of his own hubris. Now, they want a piece of Daddy's crumbling empire to satiate their own lust for this new thing called "fame." I just hope McCain stays away while they burn that empire to the ground.