411 Politics Fact or Fiction: Week 119 - Obama's Cabinet, Michael Steele as Head of the RNC, More

Posted by Brandon Crow on 02.09.2009

Did Obama make poor Cabinet picks? Does Michael Steele as head of the RNC indicate the Republican Party is ready to be more inclusive? Was Andy Card smoking doobies when he slammed Obama as disrespecting the Oval Office? When Republican governors back Obama's stimulus, does that show the plan is good?

Good day to all. It's Week 119 of Politics Fact or Fiction. And for those following, my dad's 80th birthday bash went off swimmingly. It was great to see him so happy, surrounded by close friends and family members he'd known throughout the years.

So last week we got some pretty contentious back and forth between Sheryl and John. Let's see how this week pans out. Though I have a sneaky feeling that with oft-participant Krunchy Law involved, it won't be contentious as much as off the wall wacky and hilarious. Those of you familiar with Krunchy know what I mean. The other participant is politics zone columnist Rob Zimmer.

Let's see how these two roll.

Ding! Ding!

1. President Obama has made some poor choices in his cabinet selection.

Rob Zimmer: FICTION. By and large, President Obama's cabinet selections have been outstanding. Gone are the Bush days, where the only apparent qualifications for serving in government were blind obedience to the Bush political machine and little or no relevant experience for the job in question (remember FEMA head Michael Brown, whose previous job was Chairman of the International Arabian Horse Society?). It is true that a few of Obama's picks, including former Health and Human Services nominee Tom Daschle, have owed back taxes. However, each of these nominees paid their debt to the IRS and the fussing over back taxes seems silly in the context of the colossal problems facing our nation at home and abroad.

Americans have traditionally demanded unrealistic or impossible ethical standards of their government servants, standards which most ordinary people could never meet, generally fixating on sexual piccadillos or easily correctable IRS issues. The qualifications, experience, and ability of the nominees should be the only relevant questions, not whether someone's accountant screwed up his tax returns.

Krunchy Law: FACT. Every president makes some mistakes in general, but Obama had made a point of saying it'd be no more business as usual, and this sounds like something Harding would've done 90 years ago. I understand that rich people in general use accountants, and can make mistakes when it comes to taxes, but bitch please! The nominee for the Treasury Department that oversees the collection of taxes DIDN'T pay his damn taxes!! You KNOW they had to have vetted him before the nomination. Dude couldn't pay up a few months ago? Couldn't he have called up his accountant (should the head of the treasury HAVE an accountant?) and say, "Hey Mort, any particular reason why I didn't have to make out a check to the IRS last year?"

He OWED more money in taxes than I MADE last year. I honestly was hoping for Wesley Snipes to run the IRS. If you are going to let a tax cheat run it, at least get someone that was creative in doing so. This will just feed into those that do not want to raise any taxes at all. "Hey, if we just had someone that would COLLECT all the taxes that are owed by people like Daschle, we wouldn't NEED to raise taxes at all!"

Oh well. I hoped for the best, but everything Obama has done so far is just the same old thing the other side of the aisle did when they were in office for 8 years—round up your political base and set them upon the political landscape, like locusts on a bean field (do locusts eat beans? Do they fart afterwards? I really need to stop doing these things late Saturday night after drinking Jager.)

0 for 1.

2. The Republican National Committee has named Michael Steele the first African American to be chair of the RNC. This move signals that the Republican Party has turned the page and is now ready to be more inclusive.

Rob Zimmer: FICTION. While it would appear on the surface that naming Michael Steele as RNC chairman indicates the GOP has turned over a new leaf, it is unfortunately just a cosmetic change—different colored lipstick on the same pig, to resurrect a phrase from the presidential campaign. I feel as sorry for Steele as I did for Sarah Palin, Condoleeza Rice, or Harriet Miers, or any number of other token minorities chosen to be poster children for a political party that in essence holds relevance only in the states of the old Confederacy. They are generally accorded very little real power; the old boys still hold the reins, and as such Steele represents the worst sort of quota tokenism that the GOP accuses Democrats of perpetuating. I wish Steele the best, but until the GOP steps out of its 19th century and figures out that rich white men aren't the only important people in America, he will be little more than window dressing. Despite appearances, he is not change—it's more of the same.

Krunchy Law: FICTION. Isn't this pretty much a reaction to "Obama the Magic Negro?" Jeez, I can't imagine what THAT fuss was all about? A candidate for the leading authority in the party sending out a CD with a white guy singing like a minstrel show character making fun of black man who just happened to be elected to the highest office in the land? Besides, a few of the delegates thought they were getting the former bassist for The Bangles (the hottest Bangle in my opinion, not that weird eyeball freak Susannah Hoffs.)

I can't fault just the Republicans on this. Not counting this election (I didn't pay that much attention to it to be honest, and the research I did was back in September) only 3 black people have EVER been elected to the Senate. Obama was the only black senator during the last session, and there were no Hispanics either. There's only been 4 black governors, and only 2 of them were voted into office. The only real difference I see is that the Dems at least seem to let black people be themselves, while the Republicans try to whitewash them. Yup, whitewash!

It's nice that a black man at least gets to be the "power behind the throne" and as such they might be able to help a brother out here and there in lower level contests, but the power base for the Republicans will continue to be rich white guys. At least the Democrats allow white women to have some power too, and depending on what the court rules, Stuart Smalley. Perhaps the RNC can counter with Tim Meadows in the next election. He WAS the Ladies' Man after all. (Apparently there is a law here that you have to reference SNL, right Crow? You Betcha!)

1 or 2. You Betcha right back atcha, MAVERICK…wink, wink!

Switch!

3. Former Bush Chief of Staff Andy Card recently slammed Obama for not wearing a jacket in the White House by saying, "The Oval Office symbolizes...the Constitution…I expect him to send the message that people…in the Oval Office should treat the office with the respect that it has earned over history." This, coming from a senior official in the Bush White House, is laughable.

Krunchy Law: FACT. Just think of the things that Clinton did in that office. I mean, he most likely had PHONE SEX there. Are you gonna tell me he didn't pound one out while sitting behind that desk? I'm guessing they had trouble getting Bill to wear PANTS in the Oval Office (then again, I think every one of us would mark his territory like that. I'd be worse than a musk ox on Cialis). You don't think Bush Jr. hid behind the curtains with an Al Gore mask and a chainsaw when Cheney came to visit to see if he could give Dick YET ANOTHER heart attack? It's all fun and games until someone sets the presidential rug on fire with a misplaced doobie spark.

Wait until President Sarah Palin puts up the moose head after the 2012 inauguration. Let's see if Andy Card complains then huh?

Rob Zimmer: FACT. It's a little hard to trump Krunchy's colorful thoughts, so I won't even try. Suffice it to say that even out of office, most Bush administration officials are still clueless and tone-deaf. Does anybody really give a frack what the President wears to work as long as he's doing the work of the people? For all I care, Obama could show up in drag as long as he keeps doing a good job.

Incidentally, I have seen a number of photos of—you guessed it—Andy Card's boss himself not wearing a jacket in the Oval Office. Every president going back to Ford has worn shirtsleeves in the Oval. Card should take another nap, as he obviously didn't sleep during his six years as chief of staff; surely he has time to snooze now, given his tough current job on the board of directors of Union Pacific Railroad.

And if it's true that the Oval Office symbolizes the Constitution, I'm surprised there's not a photo out there of Bush and Cheney pissing on the carpet. Even Krunchy would agree it's one surefire way to put out a misplaced doobie spark.

2 for 3. Andy Card may just be funnier than Krunchy Law!

4. Many Republican Governors are breaking away from the Republican Congress and openly supporting President Obama's stimulus package. This proves the stimulus package is not only necessary but also a good idea.

Krunchy Law: FICTION. All it proves is that (a) they like all the pork the Democrats are feeding them, and (b) they don't mind that it's not kosher pork. Money's tight, and I don't begrudge them standing there with their hands out. I'd like to see about 125-175 billion trimmed off the stimulus package AND get some oversight into where it's all going. REAL oversight, not this "well, we will hire a former CEO of a logging company to run the Department of Woodland Conservation" or "Your former political enemy who had no real formal diplomacy training now is Secretary of State." Either way, you've just hired a nasty little beaver, and let it loose on the woodshed. (hmmmm, chainsaws, woodsheds and beavers? Perhaps I need more pulp or fiber in my diet?)

Doesn't everyone get the point that politicians are always going to try to help themselves and their constituents more than others? Sen. Brownback's state is probably NOT going to be in line for a ton of money from the National Endowment of the Arts (Michael Phelps IS Noah in BIBLE CAMP ROCK!) so he'll want to get rid of that because it's useless to him.

As Bush said in 2004, after winning the election, "I've got political capital now and whoa doggie, I'm gonna use it!! YEHA!!" Perhaps I am just paraphrasing a bit … but just for dramatic effect I assure you. Obama is a master politician. He'll probably have them cut a few programs he didn't want anyway, and get pretty much everything he wanted in the first place, while making it look like everyone had their say. In business, we'd call that "buy-in," If there were any jobs left in America, more people would know that term.

Rob Zimmer: FACT. Truth is, the stimulus package is really a long-term investment package mixed with a stimulus package. A good chunk of the money will be spent on long-term economic stability and growth prospects, in addition to the emergency funding for health care, unemployment benefit extension, etc. This is a good thing. Washington, like most of corporate America, too often seeks only short-term, easy gains at the expense of longer-term, more difficult investments into the future. Look at it this way: the government could write every American a check for $2,000 tomorrow, but would that change any of the institutional economic problems? Not at all.

Another reason Republican Governors are backing the stimulus package is because it contains a big chunk of change to help state governments make up for their shocking, widening budget deficits. The irony of the so-called Bush economic plan was that in the process of handing out trillions in tax cuts to the rich and for corporate welfare, they in effect created a tax increase on state and local governments forced to contend with the vacuum in revenue and funding for essential programs.

Smart Republicans are being pragmatic and steering clear of the tired supply-side ideology of Republicans like chain-smoker Rep. John Boehner and good ole boy Sen. John Cornyn. I'm not sure what Hillary Clinton has to do with the stimulus package, but since Krunchy took a swipe at her, I should point out that I'd rather have Clinton at State with no "formal" diplomatic training than, say, Michael "Heckuva Job" Brown at FEMA with his formal training running Arabian Horse shows.

2 for 4.

As Porky Pig used to say…abli, abli, abli, abli…that's all folks! Thanks to Krunchy and Rob. Come back next week for Week 120! See you in seven.