Michael Steele Flounders in the General Direction of Black People
Posted by Andrew Tobolowsky on 02.20.2009
The RNC Has No Problems Except Not Rapping Enough...
In an article that should have been in The Onion, rather than on CNN, Michael Steele, new head of the RNC is quoted as promising an "Off-the-Hook" public relations campaign. His goal?
"We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings."
There is absolutely no reason not to look forward to this attempt. For Democrats, it poses little threat. It's the Black Person equivalent of the Sarah Palin--"women will vote for anyone who's a woman and mentions women every now and again, no matter what she stands for"--One guesses the reason the hip hop crowd is largely skipping the Family Values debate isn't exactly the fact that nobody's brought it to them in a way they can relate to just yet. Also, one guesses that making the clear statement that the hip-hop crowd is INCAPABLE of understanding current political discourse, and that THAT'S the problem is unlikely to play too well with said crowd. Unless they can't understand it, because it has not yet been translated into hip hop speak.
Far more importantly, however, for the general public this approach appears to offer the possibility for much hilarity. If it's anything like "rapping Rove", I'm looking forward to it immensely. The image of (I know, deceased) Strom Thurmond laying down some slick beats with some CGI dance moves pimping low taxes and a high military budget springs automatically to mind.
In related news, Republicans may finally have found that authoritarian presence they were so afraid Obama was going to be. When concerns were brought up that, just perhaps, Steele might like some kind of deputy to help him with logistics and so on, he responded that his critics can "stuff it". Sounds like fun, guys. Nobody can say you didn't make this monster yourself.
Again, this is not a complaint because of PRINCIPLES I disagree with--this isn't about RepublicanISM. But I figure, pretty soon, they might want to recognize the fact that minorities (and women, though they're clearly not a minority) are not children who can be placated with shiny toys like SP and MS. No matter how black Obama is (and he IS despite being half and raised entirely by white folks), he didn't win the presidency by being black. He won it by being awesome---with a side helping of black. Something to think about, soon.
Although I hope it's not too soon, because I really look forward to the commercials.
John Bonner looks like he can get jiggy with it... At least David Vitter has probably smacked a ho
Posted By: Joe Rivett (Registered) on February 19, 2009 at 10:56 PM
This is reminiscent of the movie "Bulworth".
Posted By: Guest99 (Guest) on February 19, 2009 at 11:46 PM
Yeah...it couldn't be more stupid than the horsesqueeze the Dim-O-Crats be doing, and shit.
Posted By: Guest#5806 (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 01:33 AM
"He won it by being awesome"
wow. just wow.
(Dow 30 hits lowest point since 12/2002 yesterday...awesome indeed)
Posted By: Guest#5570 (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 07:12 AM
why not emphasize guns? The republican party supports the 2nd amendment, and the sterotype is that all black guys are strapped. How about "a gat for every glovebox" slogan?
Posted By: Bryan Jones (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 08:50 AM
“this is not a complaint because I disagree so much with what Republicans WANT”
--so you agree with what obama is doing? His stimulus package which continues to drive the market down, which continues to decrease our 401k’s and other retirement packages, which will turn middle-class America into a welfare state, as the weak will look toward the government for help.
Again…another “awesome”ly worthless column, which continues to spread propaganda and division.
Posted By: anti-messiah (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 09:11 AM
'He won it by being awesome---with a side helping of black'
Don't forget the big plate of 'bush was the worst president in history' cheese toast.
Posted By: Mikel (too lazy to log in) (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 09:12 AM
Maybe they should sponsor some McDonald's advertisements. Everyone knows us negros LOVE some chicken mcnuggets!
Posted By: Jamal (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 09:44 AM
If the republican party just opened their minds a bit more, they'd realize that many many black families have conservative values.
Posted By: mp (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:09 AM
The African American voting block tends to be overwhelmingly socially conservative. If the Republican party wants to have a future as a national party, they need to figure out a way of bringing African Americans in. They need to figure out how to maintain the Hispanic block in. Going "hip-hop" I don't think is the way. But remaining as the party of the "rich, white man" there is no future.
Posted By: Elliot (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:27 AM
Yeah...it couldn't be more stupid than the horsesqueeze the Dim-O-Crats be doing, and shit.
Posted By: Guest#5806 (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 01:33 AMYeah...it couldn't be more stupid than the horsesqueeze the Dim-O-Crats be doing, and shit.
Posted By: Guest#5806 (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 01:33 AM
Nothing sadder than a loser who still can't admit defeat. Mad that you can't masturbate to Palin's pictures? The Republicans might as well use their own "token black guy" to reach out since they have whored out America for decades.
This just shows how stupid the Republican party is. They keep trying to pull this token garbage knowing that the party will always be controlled by rich white guys.
Posted By: Orlando (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Good job Andrew. Right on the money. SP, MS, and BJ down in LA can't hide the fact that 99% of the Republican Party is made up of WASPS whose base of support hails from the Deep South and a few sparsely populated Western States.
Bottom Line: The Republicans will never be able to connect with those they have disenfranchised and marginalized simply by "laminating" their party with superficial gender and color.
It didn't work in the general election. And it won't work now.
Posted By: Scott Williams (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 11:15 AM
I forgot. Liberals like yourself think handouts and affirmative action means you care about black people. Personally, I find it insulting that you have no other solutions.
Posted By: Michael (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 11:23 AM
"He won it by being awesome"
He won because the media stacked the deck with biased reporting.
Everything he's done thus far has been a massive failure - and if he keeps talking down our country, things are only going to get worse. Oh course, that's what he wants - but that's another subject.
You're slipping Andrew - and you were showing such progress.
-MDB
Posted By: MDB (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Hey, worry about your own house before you come after mine, Redskis.
Question 1: "Is Michael Steele's promise to make the Republican party more hip-hop a good idea?"
Shockingly, if that were a multiple choice question, NONE of the answers would be "BUT TEH DOW IS FALLING".
(LOOK OVER THERE, I SWEAR THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO TRAINWRECKS OVER HERE)
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Nothing sadder than a loser who still can't admit defeat. Mad that you can't masturbate to Palin's pictures?
Posted By: Orlando (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:33 AM
-Hey now, 0nly republicans can do that?? Oh Crap.
Posted By: The Weesel (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 02:05 PM
I hope they re-work the Super Bowl Shuffle.
Posted By: AdmChesterMynutz (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 02:23 PM
Weesel, I talked to Pelosi: you can still do it, but only as a threesome with Geraldine Ferraro. Good luck!
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 02:49 PM
Question 1: "Is Michael Steele's promise to make the Republican party more hip-hop a good idea?"
Here’s a better question: Why do you care?
You are an Obama-ite, with his “awesome”ness, not an unbiased observer.
This is clearly just another example of you attempting to rub noses in the dirt, over the outcome of the presidential election.
It makes no sense to have this column, since all it does it promote division.
Posted By: anti-messiah (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 02:58 PM
Actually Anti-Messiah this is an excellent column that points out how wrong the Republican party is when it comes to reaching out to miniorties.
Elliot pointed out that many African Americans are socially conservative.
Look at the gay marraige ban in California, more African Americans voted for the ban than against it.
That's how the Republican party needs to get to them, not by using "hip hop". I would be incredibly offended if the Democratic party came at me with a Dave Matthews Band CD, a Will and Grace season 4 DVD boxed set, and a minivan and said "This is what you like because you're white, so vote for Democrats".
I vote Democratic because I'm socially liberal and they are more closely aligned with what I believe than the Republican party, and until the Republican party gets that, I don't see them winning over the groups they are actively seeking.
Posted By: DSJ (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 04:06 PM
The Republicans posting on here are by and large missing the point. When I say Obama won because of his "awesomeness" I don't mean because he's so great---clearly I think he's pretty great, as do many others. What I mean is it was a MARRIAGE of substance and swing-vote appeal (that is, blackness). That's of course in addition to the cheese platter Mikel mentions. He was helped a good deal by his appeal to a wider demographic because of his skin color but it wouldn't have mattered had so many other people not found him inspiring and presidential. Insult ME all you want for that fact. It's not MY fault.
JUST being black wouldn't have won Obama the election. Just acting black isn't going to win the Republican party black votes--just like just being a woman didn't win Sarah Palin woman votes.
That's a point the party misses at it's OWN cost--not mine.
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 04:16 PM
The Republicans won't ever connect with minorities, because at its base, conservatism doesn't cater to, or care about, the weak, stupid, whiny, and useless. That would be the liberal philosophy, that is convinced everyone is equal. They're not. Some of us are just better than you. When liberals start trying to bring the bottom up, instead of the top down, I'll go along with them. Republicans believe in trickle-down wealth. Democrats believe in trickle up poverty. And ain't it amazing that you bunch of Democrats are now making excuses when that limpdick fuckhole you elected is in over his head (just like conservatives told you he would be) and can't part the seas and fix all the world's problems with just a word. There's even one smegma sucking dildo on here blaming everything on Bush. He ain't the president no more, fuckbag! Blame it on the chimp at the top. He's in charge, and his policies are making this whole fuckarow worse. Deal with YOUR candidate, and stop blaming everything on the previous administration. Isn't that what you douchebags were crying when Bush inherited Clinton's problems? And now Clinton is parroting Rush Limbaugh in telling Obama to shut the fuck up badmouthing the economy, and to 'talk positively' about it. Ultimate fucking irony that when reality slaps you assholes in the face, your leaders start sounding like conservatives. HAHAHA! Fuck you, you pantywaists. And no I don't jack off to Palin pictures. I jack off to Pelosi pictures, cuz I'm into bestiality.
Posted By: Assholeomio (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 04:56 PM
Wow, alright. We got a "chimp" as president reference, and a "minorities are useless and weak" claim all in about 100 words.
But hey, I bet he's really nice to his mother, or recycles, or something.
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 05:33 PM
Hey, Assholeomio, I don't think anyone in this column or comments has said Obama was going to, and I'm going to quote you here, "...part the seas and fix all the world's problems with just a word."
Anyone with any real grasp on the problems that are facing this country know that it's not going to be fixed right away. I knew that voting for the guy. I knew it would take months, and even years, to fix things. And I'm okay with that. And I'm willing to bet that most of the 53% of voters who voted for him are okay with that too.
See
Posted By: DSJ (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 05:35 PM
Posted By: Mikel (too lazy to log in) (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 09:12 AM
Glad to see i'm not the only one too lazy.
Great Colum
Proving yet again stupid people can be very very funny in any dose.
That and any older white people in anything hip hop related is a easy laugh.
One does wonder why so much intrest in catering to a subculture,i dont see a metal or hardcore forum comming anytime soon.
That being said i'd love for Axl and Lemmy to take center stage and speak on government reforms and the like.
A true gem of broadcast history that would be.
Posted By: Showster (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 05:51 PM
Wow, alright. We got a "chimp" as president reference, and a "minorities are useless and weak" claim all in about 100 words.
But hey, I bet he's really nice to his mother, or recycles, or something.
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 05:33 PM
Nope. Hate my mother, I don't recycle, but hey, at least I'm not into dogfighting. That said, I didn't say minorities were weak, stupid, whiny, or useless. If you'll check the context, what I was saying is that that is what liberals want minorities to believe about themselves, and since this is so much easier than actually doing something, this is what most of them do (as do a lot of non-minorities). When minorities realize the liberal party has been taking them for granted, using them, and flat-out dry fucking them for about half a century, THEY'LL COME TO THE Republicans. Not until then. You're operating under the delusion that Republicans SHOULD include the worthless members of our society. My position is that they SHOULDN'T. There should be an option, where decent, hard-working people can go. For everyone else, there's the Democrat party. Now, in fairness, I'll say the Republican party under Bush was nothing like true conservatism and thus, the Republican party deserved to have their asses handed to them in the election. And they were. Maybe this will force them to actually BE conservative. But I have to wonder, no matter how ham-handed it may be, why they're receiving such ridicule for ATTEMPTING to appeal to minorities. The Dims are a joke when appealing to normal, hard-working people with values, yet they don't receive nearly the approbation. Is it because it's ok to cater to kooks, but not to normal people?
Posted By: Assholeomio (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 07:07 PM
It reminds me of the time my aunt wanted to be cool, so on my cousin's birthday cake she wrote "Happy Birthday Kate! Get jiggidy!"
They're trying, but also missing the concept entirely.
Posted By: Maggie (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 08:09 PM
That's how the Republican party needs to get to them, not by using "hip hop". I would be incredibly offended if the Democratic party came at me with a Dave Matthews Band CD, a Will and Grace season 4 DVD boxed set, and a minivan and said "This is what you like because you're white, so vote for Democrats".
DSJ: The Democrats wrote in the 1100 page Porkulus bill, that Obama (so much for transparency) signed, a provision to give white people like you $$ for a DMB CD, Will & Grace Season 4 DVD set, Friends Season 1 DVD set, AND Roseanne Season 5 DVD set, along with a brand new Dodge Caravan because you voted for Obama and his Democrap friends...
Posted By: Reasoning in this insanity! (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Assholeomio - going beyond the profanity, I totally agree with you about liberals wanting minorities to feel weak, stupid, and helpless.
I am beginning to wonder whats the point of democracy anyways because what the majority wants doesn't count for anything because the majority, apparently, is to stupid to know it. That's the job of special interest groups and social engineering fanatics to decide.
Its a out-of-control freight train up here in Canukleland.
Posted By: mikel (Guest) on February 20, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Hey, I have absolutely no problem with the Republican party saying they want to be the Republican party. In fact, that's kind of my point--enough props. I have no trouble, whatsoever, with any disagreement so long as it's conducted honestly. Think the country would be a lot better if we could just fight about what we're actually fighting about it.
What you DID say, assholeomio, incidentally, was "The Republicans won't ever connect with minorities, because at its base, conservatism doesn't cater to, or care about, the weak, stupid, whiny, and useless"---forgive me if I've misinterpreted that.
Posted By: Andrew Tobolowsky (Registered) on February 20, 2009 at 11:08 PM
Oh, Reasoning in this Insanity, I wasn't aware we were talking about the stimulus bill. I thought we were talking about how Dems and Reps reach out to groups of people. Like the topic of the article.
My bad.
Posted By: DSJ (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 01:14 AM
I bet every Republican posting on this site is simply another alias of Chris Connolly.
Posted By: EPIC CAT (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 01:09 PM
I think this is crap, but a video of him doing the Soulja Boy dance would make it all worth it for me...
Posted By: The Nitin (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 02:24 PM
I too saw this article on CNN. I laughed so hard. See, I'm in a inter-racial relationship, so I e-mailed this story to my beloved black girlfriend. She was shocked and saw it as ignorant racism. "Looks like the Repubs have their black puppet!", she said to me in response.
Just like this New York Post thing recently, White folks dont know how they act until someone hollers about it, then they apoligize. But you damn know they dont mean it.
I too can't wait for these commercials, they will so backfire. Again my hate for how Republicans make white people look angers me.
Posted By: Dark Lord of Earth (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 03:26 PM
Hey no more monkey references for the "awesomeness" himself.Just say Obama is clean,like Biden did.Then your progressive.Now don't all of you left wingers have a social gathering to go to with Democrat senator Robert KKK Byrd?
Posted By: John (Guest) on February 21, 2009 at 10:03 PM
EPIC CAT,
Heaven forbid he still writes for this site anymore....
Posted By: Guest#2408 (Guest) on February 22, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Michael Steele is being used as a "token black man", and is too stupid to realize it. And he's also embarrassing himself. It's sad to see him out there shucking and jiving for the GOP.
I live in MD, and I liked him when he was our Lt. Governor under Bob Erlich. I voted for Erlich over now-Gov. Martin O'Malley. I thought he was a good man that has risen above this type of crap.
I'm sad to say I was wrong. And also sad to see a man being pimped out, only to eventually be the fall guy when the GOP loses more power.
Posted By: CMatt666 (Guest) on June 15, 2009 at 11:37 PM
STAY CURRENT