The Zack Morris MLB CellPhone Season Preview!
Posted by Matt McCready on 03.31.2007
411mania.com's Matt McCready takes a look at all 30 Major League Baseball teams and breaks down what to expect each season. Also CRAAAAZY~! Lou Pinella!
The Major League Baseball season is upon us and 411mania.com's Matt McCready takes a look at all 30 teams and breaks down what to expect each season. Also CRAAAAZY~! Lou Pinella!
Originally the name ‘The Zack Morris NBA CellPhone' was inspired by the contrast between the hip-hop infused NBA culture and the phenomenally clean cut image of ‘Saved by the Bell' star Zack Morris (I'm unaware and totally uninterested in his actual name). However with the already wholesome image of Major League Baseball (steroids, Pete Rose and Albert Belle chasing down trick or treaters with his automobile notwithstanding) Zack Morris seems kind of redundant. I considered naming the column ‘Dustin Diamond's MLB cock-ring' but Harry Carry already released a book with that title in 1994. Too bad.
First off let's take a look at the favorites for each MLB award.
National League MVP
Ryan Howard
This young man won the home run derby, the MVP and hits nearly 60 home runs all in his first full season. And who said that he's peaked and not going to get any better? Scary. Others in contention is the outstanding Albery Pujols and Miguel Cabrera, who reminds me of a young Vladimir Guerrero.
American League MVP
Vladimir Guerrero
A favorite of mine since his career began with the Expos, Guerrero has maybe the strongest arm in baseball and can hit pitches inside and outside the strikezone for both average and power. I think he'll win as the best player on an Angles ballclub that could surprise.
American League Cy Young
Roy Halladay
I put Roy Halladay in front of the spectacular Johan Santana because of his run support. The Blue Jay offense could power the workaholic to twenty or more wins. Also I figured everyone else in this report would pick Santana…
National League Cy Young
Ben Sheets
Unlike the American League Cy Young race where Johan Santana stands out, Roy Halladay is close behind and the rest are irrelevant, there's plenty of competition in the National League. Usually it's unwise to bet on a pitcher who has missed parts of seasons due to vertigo, but Ben Sheets pulls off the Courtney Love look with Burt Reynolds style.
National League Coach of the Year
Lou Pinella
The ‘National League Coach of the Year' award doesn't interest me too much to be honest, so why not just pick the guy who'll provide the most entertainment? There is a method to this favoritism madness however as the Cubs are due for a huge improvement on their 66 win season with their splashy off-season signings and return to health of slugger Derrek Lee. Media writers tend to pick the team with the greatest win/loss improvement and the Cubs are primed for that.
American League Coach of the Year
Eric Wedge
It defies logic to pick a Coach of the Year who has a below .500 record throughout a coaching career that spans for than 650 games. Not to mention a name that would put most Dane Cook fans into stitches. I'm predicting that everything in Cleveland clicks this year and Mr. Wedge is the guy I'm banking on making it happen.
American League Rookie of the Year
Daisuke Matsuzaka
Could it be anyone else? The guy has dominated every single batter he's faced since high school. The Ichiro of pitching has an assortment of outstanding pitches and will probably contend for the Cy Young award this year. A ballsy move by Theo Epstein reminiscent of something Pat Gillick would've done while building the Toronto Blue Jays championship teams of the early 90ies.
National League Rookie of the Year
Homer Bailey
I don't follow minor league baseball at all so I'll go with the prospect who impresses me the most with his name. From what I've read about him, the right handed Cincinnati Red Homer Bailey combines the speed of Olympic legend Donovan Bailey with the amusing demeanor of Homer Simpson.
American League East
Division Winner Boston – An improved lineup and the deepest rotation in baseball make Boston the team to beat. If Dice-K lives up to the billing, Manny continues to be Manny and David Ortiz continues to mash harder than a roided up Rocky Balboa; Boston could win the championship.
2nd place & WILD CARD Toronto Blue Jays – There are certain things Championship teams seem to have. A pitching ace (Roy Halladay), a gold glover (center fielder Vernon Wells), a dominant reliever (BJ Ryan), some veteran leadership (Troy Glaus) and a guy who could hit the wrong pitch out of the park at any moment (Frank Thomas). The Toronto Blue Jays possess all of these things. So why then don't I have them ranked as the division leader?
While the Jays have a solid 1- 2 in the rotation (Halladay and A.J. Burnett) it tapers off dramatically after that. Journey man Tomo Ohka could realistically be the number 3 guy in the rotation. The Blue Jays are a much scarier team in a seven game playoff series than they are in a 162 game season.
3rd place New York Yankees – The Yankees lineup is probably even better than the Jays. Johnny Damon, Derek Jeter, Bobby Abreu, Jason ‘Dear god steroids do THAT to your headsize' Giambi and Alex Rodriguez all populate a stellar Yankee offense. Defensively, this team is a mess. The only above average defensive players are Jeter, Abreu and Doug Mientkiewicz, who also might be the worst offensive first baseman in the league. And it's not like the pitching will help out this Walter Matthau like glovework. Their lack of a star pitcher is why I put them behind the Jays. Despite his Cy Young touting last year, Chien Ming Wang is NOT a guy you want leading your rotation and with his inability to throw strikeouts, it means more balls put in play for the shaky defense. Meanwhile number 2 and 3 pitchers Andy Pettitte and Mike Mussina both saw their best days years ago, although are solid in that role of the rotation. Carl Pavano is their opening day starter. For those unaware of who Carl Pavano even is; there's a reason.
4th place Tampa Bay Devil Rays – The Devil Rays come into the season boasting one of the fastest, youngest and most talented outfields in the majors. Unfortunately, their Oshawa grade pitching will keep them from cracking the top three of this division.
5th place Baltimore Orioles – Poor Baltimore. Some of baseball's most loyal fans will have to deal with another season where a 3rd place finish would be considered a triumph. They bulked up the bullpen, Tejada can still mash and Chris Ray has killer stuff. Pitching coach Leo Mazzone will have to pull off starting rotation magic that would make ‘Mummra The EverLiving' proud to get this team into the playoffs.
American League Central
Division Winner Cleveland Indians – In a division that's up for grabs between nearly (sorry Kansas City) every team involved. My bet goes to the team with the most upside; the young and improving Cleveland Indians. The team's weakness is that the backend of the pitching staff is as shaky as the lineup is devastating. By the way, Grady Sizemore could challenge for MVP this year, just so you know…
2nd place Detroit Tigers – It's hard to pick against the defending AL champs, but I see this team regressing, particularly Kenny Rogers. This may sound contrived, catchy and public access: I'm betting against ‘The Gambler'. Gambler ‘jokes' are so overdone and pure bush league but you LOVE IT.
3rd place Minnesota Twins – Johan Santana, Joe Mauer and MVP Justin Morneau make up an exceptional young nucleus for this team. The loss of Francisco Liriano cannot be overstated.
4th place Chicago White Sox – It's unlikely a team with an aging core will win the toughest division in baseball. I'm not counting them out, with that lineup they'll compete.
5th place Kansas City Royals – Kansas City baseball fans will tell their kids about the first time they saw ‘Gil Meche' pitch.
American League West
Division Winner Los Angeles Angels – Does Vlad ‘The Impaler' Guerrero have enough talent surrounding him for this team to win the division? Gary Matthews Jr will hopefully bolster the lineup and his range will benefit the slow footed left fielder Garret Anderson.
2nd place Seattle Mariners – I expect a third consecutive year of improvement for the Seattle Mariners. The lineup is just too skilled to expect anything less. The continued development of Felix Hernandez is crucial.
3rd place Oakland As – Oakland is a well rounded team that is pretty good in every aspect, but great at nothing. Their bullpen is probably their greatest asset, but a bullpen cannot replace Barry Zito and Frank Thomas' 39 home runs. When Mike Piazza is your big off-season signing of 2007 it was a pretty terrible off-season. Rich Harden has to come back healthy and Bobby Crosby has to start playing more like rookie-of-the-year Bobby Crosby and less like gunt-of-the-year Bubba Sparxxx.
4th place Texas Rangers – Picked up some interesting players in Frank Catalanotto and Kenny Lofton, but neither is a difference maker. Teixeira should bounce back to a certain degree, but not to the degree to make this team a contender.
Bold Prediction of the Year: During an argument over balls and strikes, Lou Pinella will tear the green ivory off of Wrigley Field and proceed to sit cross-legged on the pitcher's mound and eat it. The Caesar salad will be delicious.
National League West
Division Winner Los Angeles Dodgers - A deep yet unspectacular pitching staff got the anchor it needed when they signed Jason Schmidt. But with the speed of his fastball regressing, did they pay too much?
2nd place Arizona Diamondbacks - They also possess one of the best kept secrets in the league: Orlando Hudson. The defensive highlight reel had his best offensive output of his career last year and should've been an All-Star. His incredible range was a boon for the pitching staff, particularly Brandon Webb, whose groundball inducing stuff meant a lot of action for the second baseman.
3rd place Colorado Rockies Garrett Atkins and Matt Holliday were the story for Colorado last year. If Jeff Francis continues his upward development this team could win the division.
4th place San Diego Padres – The definition of mediocrity. An above average pitching rotation is unlikely to offset a substandard offence. Ace Jake Peavy will need a Cy type of year for this team to make the playoffs.
5th Place San Francisco Giants - I'm one of the few to expect Barry Zito to absolutely flourish in the National League but old man Bonds doesn't have his roids anymore. Expect him and the rest of the team to struggle.
National League Central
Division Winner Chicago Cubs - Ted Lilly and Alfonzo Soriano may not have been the most economical free agent signings but you'd have to be foolish to not appreciate what they could bring to this Chicago Cub ballpark. Soriano adds an enormous bat to a lineup that already features Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee. Lilly adds insurance and depth to a pitching staff that no longer views Mark Prior or Kerry Wood as factors anymore, much less pitching phenoms.
2nd place St. Louis Cardinals – Conventional logic states that you should never bet against the champion, particularly if that champion also has the best player on their roster; Albert Pujols (pronounced Poo Holes). They also have arguably the best pitcher in the National League with Chris Carpenter. Along with Scott Rolen they'll set out to repeat as World Champions. I just see the Cubs putting together an impressive run with their new acquisitions. St Louis could still repeat as champions but can they overcome an improved Chicago Cub team and an up-and –coming Brew Crew first?
3rd place Milwaukee Brewers – I love the Brew Crew. I seriously considered putting them as the favorite to win the division but I just couldn't rationally justify it. The team with my favorite young player in the league, Prince "Son of Cecil" Fielder, has some sick developing talent. Prince has gotten better every year so don't be surprised to see 40 home runs.
4th place Houston Astros – The overrated Carlos Lee will help out this team, but he's terrible defensively and is a step below the elite hitters of the league. Lance Berkman is not and he'll need to mash at a monster rate to keep this team afloat. Roy Oswalt is terribly underappreciated in media circles. He's a top pitcher.
5th place Cincinnati Reds – The communists of Cincinnati always seem to be one-step away from contention. They'll most likely stay in that position this year.
6th place Pittsburgh Pirates – Truly ‘the sludge' of the league. Jason Bay will need a miracle for this team to do anything. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was a terrible movie, not good for clubhouse morale.
National League East
Division Winner Philadelphia Phillies – Ryan Howard will continue to battle Albert Pujols for the title of best player in baseball. There's a murderer's row at the top of the lineup with Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley both All-Star caliber players. And Pat Burrell, despite his inconsistency, has a powerful enough bat to force opposing pitchers to pitch to Howard. Freddy Garcia could have a great season pitching in the weaker National League while Cole Hamels has wicked stuff. There's also trust that General Manager/baseball guru Pat Gillick won't sabotage this group with a bonehead move.
2nd place The New York Mets – They have the best offensive lineup in the National League. Period. The smorgasbord of offensive talent begins with youngster Jose Reyes. It says something that a prospect as bright as Reyes could survive in an organization that thinks so highly of young players that they would throw away Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano. Reyes finally reached his potential last year when he hit 300 for the first time in his career, smashed 19 dingers and stole a ridiculous 64 bases. Arguably the fastest player in baseball, Reyes is a perfect fit for the Mets' high octane offence.
3rd place Florida Marlins – The Marlins share a trait with their Floridan brethren from Tampa Bay in that they are both filled with young players with loads of potential. The difference is that the Marlins could actually compete for a division title. Pitching is what separates the two clubs and Florida has an abundance of young starting pitching with killer arms. The continually improving Miguel Cabrera could challenge for MVP this year.
4th place Atlanta Braves – Oh how the mighty have fallen. After tyrannizing over the division for more than a decade, the Braves fell on rough times last year. John Smoltz is the only arm left from their glory days and he's by far the team's most productive pitcher. Smoltz is still an ace and a difference maker. The rest of the rotation is sketchy, Tim Hudson has not been the same since leaving Oakland.
5th place Washington Nationals – The last place team loses their best player and do not replace him. Believe the hype, the Nationals suck. Almost gets me nostalgic for the Expos…
Biggest storyline going into the season: How many weight-related diseases will David Wells contract over the course of the season?
I hope you enjoyed this special edition of the Zack Morris CellPhone.
Boston – An improved lineup and the deepest rotation in baseball make Boston the team to beat. If Dice-K lives up to the billing, Manny continues to be Manny and David Ortiz continues to mash harder than a roided up Rocky Balboa; Boston could win the championship.
Toronto Blue Jays – There are certain things Championship teams seem to have. A pitching ace (Roy Halladay), a gold glover (center fielder Vernon Wells), a dominant reliever (BJ Ryan), some veteran leadership (Troy Glaus) and a guy who could hit the wrong pitch out of the park at any moment (Frank Thomas). The Toronto Blue Jays possess all of these things. So why then don't I have them ranked as the division leader? 
New York Yankees – The Yankees lineup is probably even better than the Jays. Johnny Damon, Derek Jeter, Bobby Abreu, Jason ‘Dear god steroids do THAT to your headsize' Giambi and Alex Rodriguez all populate a stellar Yankee offense. Defensively, this team is a mess. The only above average defensive players are Jeter, Abreu and Doug Mientkiewicz, who also might be the worst offensive first baseman in the league. And it's not like the pitching will help out this Walter Matthau like glovework. Their lack of a star pitcher is why I put them behind the Jays. Despite his Cy Young touting last year, Chien Ming Wang is NOT a guy you want leading your rotation and with his inability to throw strikeouts, it means more balls put in play for the shaky defense. Meanwhile number 2 and 3 pitchers Andy Pettitte and Mike Mussina both saw their best days years ago, although are solid in that role of the rotation. Carl Pavano is their opening day starter. For those unaware of who Carl Pavano even is; there's a reason.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays – The Devil Rays come into the season boasting one of the fastest, youngest and most talented outfields in the majors. Unfortunately, their Oshawa grade pitching will keep them from cracking the top three of this division.
Baltimore Orioles – Poor Baltimore. Some of baseball's most loyal fans will have to deal with another season where a 3rd place finish would be considered a triumph. They bulked up the bullpen, Tejada can still mash and Chris Ray has killer stuff. Pitching coach Leo Mazzone will have to pull off starting rotation magic that would make ‘Mummra The EverLiving' proud to get this team into the playoffs. 
Cleveland Indians – In a division that's up for grabs between nearly (sorry Kansas City) every team involved. My bet goes to the team with the most upside; the young and improving Cleveland Indians. The team's weakness is that the backend of the pitching staff is as shaky as the lineup is devastating. By the way, Grady Sizemore could challenge for MVP this year, just so you know…
Detroit Tigers – It's hard to pick against the defending AL champs, but I see this team regressing, particularly Kenny Rogers. This may sound contrived, catchy and public access: I'm betting against ‘The Gambler'. Gambler ‘jokes' are so overdone and pure bush league but you LOVE IT.
Minnesota Twins – Johan Santana, Joe Mauer and MVP Justin Morneau make up an exceptional young nucleus for this team. The loss of Francisco Liriano cannot be overstated.
Chicago White Sox – It's unlikely a team with an aging core will win the toughest division in baseball. I'm not counting them out, with that lineup they'll compete.
Kansas City Royals – Kansas City baseball fans will tell their kids about the first time they saw ‘Gil Meche' pitch. 
Los Angeles Angels – Does Vlad ‘The Impaler' Guerrero have enough talent surrounding him for this team to win the division? Gary Matthews Jr will hopefully bolster the lineup and his range will benefit the slow footed left fielder Garret Anderson.
Seattle Mariners – I expect a third consecutive year of improvement for the Seattle Mariners. The lineup is just too skilled to expect anything less. The continued development of Felix Hernandez is crucial.
Oakland As – Oakland is a well rounded team that is pretty good in every aspect, but great at nothing. Their bullpen is probably their greatest asset, but a bullpen cannot replace Barry Zito and Frank Thomas' 39 home runs. When Mike Piazza is your big off-season signing of 2007 it was a pretty terrible off-season. Rich Harden has to come back healthy and Bobby Crosby has to start playing more like rookie-of-the-year Bobby Crosby and less like gunt-of-the-year Bubba Sparxxx. 
Texas Rangers – Picked up some interesting players in Frank Catalanotto and Kenny Lofton, but neither is a difference maker. Teixeira should bounce back to a certain degree, but not to the degree to make this team a contender.
Los Angeles Dodgers - A deep yet unspectacular pitching staff got the anchor it needed when they signed Jason Schmidt. But with the speed of his fastball regressing, did they pay too much?
Arizona Diamondbacks - They also possess one of the best kept secrets in the league: Orlando Hudson. The defensive highlight reel had his best offensive output of his career last year and should've been an All-Star. His incredible range was a boon for the pitching staff, particularly Brandon Webb, whose groundball inducing stuff meant a lot of action for the second baseman.
Colorado Rockies Garrett Atkins and Matt Holliday were the story for Colorado last year. If Jeff Francis continues his upward development this team could win the division.
San Diego Padres – The definition of mediocrity. An above average pitching rotation is unlikely to offset a substandard offence. Ace Jake Peavy will need a Cy type of year for this team to make the playoffs.
San Francisco Giants - I'm one of the few to expect Barry Zito to absolutely flourish in the National League but old man Bonds doesn't have his roids anymore. Expect him and the rest of the team to struggle.
Chicago Cubs - Ted Lilly and Alfonzo Soriano may not have been the most economical free agent signings but you'd have to be foolish to not appreciate what they could bring to this Chicago Cub ballpark. Soriano adds an enormous bat to a lineup that already features Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee. Lilly adds insurance and depth to a pitching staff that no longer views Mark Prior or Kerry Wood as factors anymore, much less pitching phenoms.
St. Louis Cardinals – Conventional logic states that you should never bet against the champion, particularly if that champion also has the best player on their roster; Albert Pujols (pronounced Poo Holes). They also have arguably the best pitcher in the National League with Chris Carpenter. Along with Scott Rolen they'll set out to repeat as World Champions. I just see the Cubs putting together an impressive run with their new acquisitions. St Louis could still repeat as champions but can they overcome an improved Chicago Cub team and an up-and –coming Brew Crew first?
Milwaukee Brewers – I love the Brew Crew. I seriously considered putting them as the favorite to win the division but I just couldn't rationally justify it. The team with my favorite young player in the league, Prince "Son of Cecil" Fielder, has some sick developing talent. Prince has gotten better every year so don't be surprised to see 40 home runs.
Houston Astros – The overrated Carlos Lee will help out this team, but he's terrible defensively and is a step below the elite hitters of the league. Lance Berkman is not and he'll need to mash at a monster rate to keep this team afloat. Roy Oswalt is terribly underappreciated in media circles. He's a top pitcher.
Cincinnati Reds – The communists of Cincinnati always seem to be one-step away from contention. They'll most likely stay in that position this year.
Pittsburgh Pirates – Truly ‘the sludge' of the league. Jason Bay will need a miracle for this team to do anything. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was a terrible movie, not good for clubhouse morale. 
Philadelphia Phillies – Ryan Howard will continue to battle Albert Pujols for the title of best player in baseball. There's a murderer's row at the top of the lineup with Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley both All-Star caliber players. And Pat Burrell, despite his inconsistency, has a powerful enough bat to force opposing pitchers to pitch to Howard. Freddy Garcia could have a great season pitching in the weaker National League while Cole Hamels has wicked stuff. There's also trust that General Manager/baseball guru Pat Gillick won't sabotage this group with a bonehead move.
The New York Mets – They have the best offensive lineup in the National League. Period. The smorgasbord of offensive talent begins with youngster Jose Reyes. It says something that a prospect as bright as Reyes could survive in an organization that thinks so highly of young players that they would throw away Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano. Reyes finally reached his potential last year when he hit 300 for the first time in his career, smashed 19 dingers and stole a ridiculous 64 bases. Arguably the fastest player in baseball, Reyes is a perfect fit for the Mets' high octane offence.
Florida Marlins – The Marlins share a trait with their Floridan brethren from Tampa Bay in that they are both filled with young players with loads of potential. The difference is that the Marlins could actually compete for a division title. Pitching is what separates the two clubs and Florida has an abundance of young starting pitching with killer arms. The continually improving Miguel Cabrera could challenge for MVP this year.
Atlanta Braves – Oh how the mighty have fallen. After tyrannizing over the division for more than a decade, the Braves fell on rough times last year. John Smoltz is the only arm left from their glory days and he's by far the team's most productive pitcher. Smoltz is still an ace and a difference maker. The rest of the rotation is sketchy, Tim Hudson has not been the same since leaving Oakland.
Washington Nationals – The last place team loses their best player and do not replace him. Believe the hype, the Nationals suck. Almost gets me nostalgic for the Expos…
