Jobu's Altar: The GM Ratings Game
Posted by Rob Rabies on 07.18.2007
In part one of a sixer, Rob Rabies grades the GM's of the Dominican pastime. First up, the AL East...
I've been toying with this idea for some time. Given the rather blasé nature of the baseball season so far, I thought that I'd take a patch of time away from the ins and outs of every day baseball, as well as the asinine home run chase, and take a look at the guys who assemble the roster rather than the players on said roster. What follows is part one of a six week look at the general managers of Major League Baseball. Each week I will rank the GMs within their respective division, and after the final week, I'll release Jobu's comprehensive ranking of every MLB GM, from 1-30. However, to tease the final rankings, I will also be giving each GM a grade along an A/F scale.
Without further ado, lets take a look at ESPN's favorite division, a grouping where if the heads at Bristol had their druthers, would be the only baseball-related stories ever covered—The American League East.
I'm sure I'm going to step on some toes here, but I could really care less. If you want to complain about my rankings, tell me that I suck, or wish death upon me, please use the feedback system. It's glorious.
Important Numbers: 2007 Payroll: 95.1 Million; Team Record as GM: 110-142 (as sole GM)
This guy is horrible. It goes to show you some of the problems that an organization can run into when they let former popular players and career company men ascend to the GM position. Yet, for the sake of this ranking, I'm going to not levy all the blame on him for the atrocities that happened while he was part of the two-headed GM monster before he took part—moves like Javy Lopez, Sammy Sosa, etc.
Instead, let's focus on some of the moves that he's made as GM of the Orioles, while also aware of the fact that he may have as little power as any GM in baseball (including Cashman) given the idiotic and meddlesome nature of his boss, Peter Angelos.
Key Fuck Up: Jorge Julio and John Maine for Kris Benson. Ignore the fact that Benson's wife is a miserable, loathsome whore; he's an awful pitcher (68-73, 1.37 WHIP, 4.34 ERA career). Meanwhile, Maine has quickly become the best arm on the Mets staff. Compounding the idiocy of this move is that Benson was already 31 years old when the O's acquired him—it's not like he was a relatively young wayward soul; he's just bad.
Best move: Re-signing Brian Roberts. It's not like there is a lot to choose from here, but Roberts is one of the best second basemen in the league. Although it's unlikely that he'll reprise his BALCO-esque power from a few years ago, he still hits for a high average and is a constant threat on the bases.
Overall, the Orioles have a subpar farm system. They had 4 of the top 100 prospects according to Baseball America. Adam Loewen has potential but is currently on the 60 day DL. Jeremy Guthrie could be a star, but it's often hard to tell the worth of a pitcher when they have Leo Mazzone as their pitching coach, plus he's already 28 years old. Markakis is a baller. Aside from these young players, there isn't a ton of help on the horizon. Hayden Penn is talented, but has been a BP pitcher so far in his MLB career.
Bottom Line: No team has done less with more. Every team above the Orioles in payroll has a significantly better team, and the next 9 teams below them are all better organizations (save San Fran possibly)
Important Numbers: Payroll: 143 Million; Record as GM (429-309)
I really don't like Theo Epstein. When it comes to baseball GM's, I think that he may be the most overrated guy this side of Billy Beane. From the soap opera after the '05 season to the fact that he basically plays with Monopoly money instead of an actual budget, it's hard to get a gauge on his actual abilities as a talent evaluator and negotiator, especially since Boston really doesn't have to negotiate—they just overspend on players by 20 percent.
What people don't realize is that Epstein has been very, very lucky as a GM. He famously trashed his office after the Red Sox were unable to acquire Jose Contreras, who has been a mild disappointment to put it lightly (although he is 59 years old). He also tried to unload Manny, who later claimed the World Series MVP, in an ill-fated push for perennial loser Alex Rodriguez.
He traded the mercurial Shea Hillenbrand for Poorly Hung Kim, who was a disaster in Boston. This added 3 million to the Red Sox payroll, and cost them a bat at the expense of an atrocious pitcher with a mind about as sound as Phil Hellmuth after his opponent catches a runner-runner flush. Epstein also unloaded 2006 batting champ Freddy Sanchez for half a year of Jeff Suppan, who was a nightmare in Beantown, not even making the postseason roster.
Later on, Epstein moved Kim for the 600 year old Charles Johnson, who never played for Boston, as well as Chris Narveson, who never suited up for the Sox. Narveson is now one of St. Louis' best pitching prospects. Not to be undone, Epstein gave Kim a contract extension after it was clearly apparent that he was 10 pounds of dog shit stuffed into a 3 pound bag.
Some other moves that Theo has made: Signing Julio Lugo and Coco Crisp (ouch), Matt Clement, dropping 100 million plus on Matsuzaka, who thus far has been a durable A.J. Burnett with better run support..
Worst Move: There are a lot to choose from, but this one is unconscionable—Josh Bard and Cla Meredith for Doug Mirabelli. The Red Sox made this move because Bard couldn't catch Tim Wakefield. One would think they would have realized this around the second day of pitchers and catchers reporting, but nevertheless, it took about two months into the '06 season for this deal to be made. In return, the Sox gave up a better offensive catcher and one of the better middle relievers in baseball for a guy who will catch a mediocre knuckleballer every fifth day. Although he has struggled this year, you could make a case that Meredith's nickname should be the 1 iron. Not even God could have hit him in 2006.
But here's the rub—little of this matters. Because Epstein has so much money to deal with, his numerous fuckups are easily swept up under the rug. Since the Red Sox are such an affluent franchise, they can trade 4 jobbers for Curt Schilling, Curt Schilling's blog, and a postal code for Schilling's self-aggrandizing ego, all the while absorbing a salary hit that only 4 or 5 teams could legitimately stomach.
The David Ortiz signing has no doubt been one of the best free agent signings of the last 20 years, but given his career numbers pre-Fenway, as well as the size of his head (dimensionally), it's hard to believe that Theo and co. knew he had this in him when he was a DL-regular in the Homer Dome. Giving Epstein credit for that would be analogous to lauding the Patriots for drafting Tom Brady or the Broncos drafting Terrell Davis. It was just incredibly lucky, not a shrewd business move.
Bottom Line: Epstein is the Jamie Gold of GM's, right down to the Jewishness.
Rank: 2 (Yes, the division is this friggin bad), Grade: 70 (C-)
New York Yankees: Brian Cashman
Payroll: 7,889,183,777.86 Rupees; Record: (935-607)
Everything that I said for Epstein in regards to financial windfalls goes 8-fold for Cashman. Although Epstein has the displeasure of working with the bat-shit crazy Larry Luchino, Cashman has it worse—reporting to George Steinbrenner. Of course he's well-compensated for his troubles and Steinbrenner will soon be dead, so BFD (on both counts).
Despite having both of his nuts in possession of the Boss, Cashman is actually a really solid baseball mind when he's able to overrule his moronic owner. The last several years have seen Cashman gain influence, and as he has done so, the Yankees have amassed a farm system more talented than any time since the days of Stick Mitchell. Tyler Clippard, Phil Hughes, and Dellin Batances are some of the young arms who show a good deal of promise for the Yankees' future.
With that being said, there is a litany of foul ups that have happened under Cashman's watch, although it is difficult to ascribe blame to him alone, he at least shares some of the burden.
Some of the more memorable catastrophes: Jeff Weaver, Jose Contreras, Jaret Wright, Jason Giambi, and of course…. Worst Move: Carl PSB. Pavano, the PSB stands for Pussy-Shit-Bitch. On any scale, this has to rate as one of the 10 worst free agent signings ever, with the Giambi deal making an ever-growing case for top 30 status. At least Jason gave them a few pre- and post-roids years of production, Pavano has brought nothing to the team other than carnal knowledge of Alyssa Milano, and they could have gotten that for another overrated pitcher who actually stays healthy—Barry Zito.
With that aside, he was able to trade Soriano for 130 cents on the dollar in getting A-Rod, although once again, this was only possible due to where he works, not his innate skills. He also signed the aging and World Asshole Champion Gary Sheffield over Vlad Guerrero. Oops.
Rank: 1 (Easily the worst-managed division in baseball), Grade: 78 (C+)
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Tampa Bay Devil Rays—Andrew Friedman
Tampa is the perfect counterargument to the people who always believe that the grass is greener with the younger side. They've accumulated numerous blue chip prospects in their short history—Rocco Baldelli, Carl Crawford, Delmon Young, Scott Kazmir—and yet they are still contending with the Royals and Nationals for the rights to the worst franchise in all of major league baseball. A lot of casual and highly interested baseball fans believe that the nebulous "prospect" in AA will solve all of their favorite team's ills, when in reality they need to realize that baseball has the highest failure rate of any of the major sports by far. It's not even close. In fact, I would be willing to bet that a 4th round NFL pick has the same potential for success as does a 1st rounder in the MLB draft. Some of that is to be expected due to the nature of dealing with foreign players with shady documents and often, young, hyper-raw prospects.
Friedman still has a relatively short history. It's really hard to give him any grade but an incomplete thus far. Perhaps the best way to evaluate him is to look at some of his drafts and the prospects that he has/hasn't netted, as Tampa really doesn't/won't spend money on free agents.
Evan Longoria—Long Beach State. From the same infield that produced Troy Tulowitzki, Longoria is already the #1 rated prospect in the Rays' system, and hit .315 with 18 bombs in his first year of professional action. Baseball America has him rated as the #7 prospect in all of baseball already.
Reid Brignac is another holdover from the old regime, but there comes a time when you can only have so many young prospects before you reach a point of diminishing returns. Especially when one considers the putrid nature of Tampa's starting rotation, for the best interests of the future of the franchise, Friedman needs to see if he can convince ownership to pull the trigger on a trade of Crawford or Upton—prospects who could get them 3 legitimate arms and/or a combination of bats in return. Yeah, guys like Carl Crawford don't come around often, but Tampa hasn't done anything with him, and they won't do anything as long as they keep trotting out the likes of Edwin Jackson and James Shields to toe the rubber (Shields has already shot his wad this year)
Bottom Line: The Angels have shown what happens when you hold on to can't miss prospects for too long when they have nowhere to go (Dallas McPherson). Tampa doesn't have the payroll for those kinds of mistakes, and if they ever want to contend, they need to get some young arms besides Kazmir and Jackson.
Rank: 3.5, Grade: IC
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Toronto Blue Jays--J.P. Ricciardi
Ricciardi, is of course Billy Beane's personal version of Frank Stallone, Don Swayze, Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Ozzie Canseco…take your pick. Ricciardi reminds me of that kid from The Sandlot who said "yeah yeah" after everything. If Beane makes a decision on a free agent or proposes a trade, Ricciardi picks up the phone and shouts "yeah yeah". It's not just Frank Thomas, it's cutting poor deals with the A's when they wish to offload an overrated player, from Cory Lidle to Eric Hinske. I can't imagine the amount of inner conflict Ricciardi must have in regards to Beane. On the one hand, he pretty much single-handedly got him a GM position, on the other, Beane beats up on him like he's the underdeveloped Mormon kid with a torn rotator cuff in gym dodgeball.
His first trade with Oakland was a convoluted mess that actually saw him come out on the winning end inasmuch as neither team really benefited from the trade. Yes, Koch had a solid year for the A's, but he was parlayed into Keith Foulke, who then bolted for Beantown, and is now due his baseball pension. In return the Jays got Eric Hinske, who was stuck behind Chavez, and two bags of Funions. Hinske had a solid rookie campaign, and then lost all the pop in his bat along with 40 points from his average, and yet Ricciardi still gave him an extension. WTF??
Worst Deal: A.J. Burnett. Good god. Even worse, Ricciardi wanted to go after Gil Meche this past offseason, but was mercifully outbid by the Royals. Imagine sinking about 22 mil/year into your 2nd and 3rd starters and they turn out to be Vajayjay Burnett and Gil Meche. Ick
Honorable Mentions: Felipe Lopez for Jason Arnold. Ricciardi gave up a guy who could have solidified his middle infield for ten years for Jason Arnold, a guy who couldn't even throw like Kevin Arnold….hell, he wasn't even as good as Wayne Arnold. Arnold is already retired from the game, and Lopez has put up 3 very solid seasons since, although he is definitely inconsistent.
Others: dumping Chad Gaudin to the A's (ouch), Orlando Hudson and Miggy Batista for Troy Glaus.
Bottom Line: Ricciardi continues to make an ass out of himself in the free agent market. He inherited some good tools in guys like Vernon Wells and Alex Rios, but all the moves that he's made to bolster the team have backfired, and all of his bankable players are from the previous GM. And yet he has already been extended twice.
Rank 3.5, Grade: 58 F
Next week, the AL Central.
Offer me cigar….and rum.
Yes I know there is not no third spot, it skips from 2-3.5. In the words of a one S. Polychronopolous,
