The 5 Step Drop 09.13.07: Regular Season Week 2
Posted by Javier Zuniga on 09.13.2007
Bill Beli-Cheat, the VMA's vs. the Cowboys season opener, and the 5 BIGGEST games of Week 2.
Namaste and Welcome to the first ever edition of The 5 Step Drop.
My name is Javier and every week we will be taking a look at the five "glamour" match-ups of the coming week's NFL schedule along with the state of football in general.
Now we're starting off with a look at Week 2, but believe me, I did do a review of Week 1. Unfortunately it was my sample column and the only person who read it was 411Mania.com's Editor in Chief of Sports, Dan Owens.
To be honest, THAT column was amazing. I mean, this one will be OK. But that column was so good that rumor has it Dan's hair got longer and his testicles swelled. The next day, 411Mania.com suspended him 30 days for violating the Wellness Policy and Dan held a tearful press conference where he apologized to his family and announced that he had "found Jesus."
Rumors that Jesus had been reading this week's Planet Tapout have not been verified.
So I apologize ahead of time. The debut of The 5 Step Drop will most likely not be "groin-grabbingly" good. But it WILL get you ready for the best games in what should be a very entertaining Week 2 of the NFL Regular season.
1. Sunday, September 16, San Diego Chargers @ New England Patriots: While the thoughts of all NFL fans go out to critically injured Buffalo Bills TE Kevin Everett, the other story of the week has to be that Coach Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots were caught "cheating" during their game with the New York Jets in Week 1. For those who have not heard, NFL security officials confiscated a camera and videotape from a New England video assistant on the Pats' sideline when it was suspected the assistant was recording the Jets' defensive signals. Taping signals is totally prohibited because, in a sport where alignment and personnel placement is so crucial, knowing what your opponent is doing before they do it would be like getting a twenty yard head start in a hundred meter dash.
Did the Pats do it? Hell yes they did. Keep in mind, when this assistant was caught he spent nearly an hour "resisting" Jets security. At one point, New Jersey State Police had to step in to calm the situation down. And this isn't the first time it's happened. The same cameraman was ejected from Lambeau Field last year because the Packers security suspected wrong-doing but found no proof that day.
A lot of the talking heads will spend time debating what the punishment should be: take away draft picks, a fine, possibly even a suspension. But what interests me is this: NO ONE seems really surprised.
And you want to know why? Because Bill Belichick is kind of a douche-bag.
He's bizarrely paranoid, often acting all Dick Cheney about his injury reports or his assistants giving interviews during the week. He's surly and mean to his underlings and Patriots staffers. The strained relationship with former assistant Eric Mangini makes him seem petty and vindictive. And that story about the horse faced mistress over the summer that he was calling every 6 minutes makes him seem clinically obsessed. To put it bluntly, he's not a good guy.
He is, however, a helluva coach.
And this week, against one of the few teams in the NFL that can physically match-up with the Patriots, it doesn't matter that this guy is five minutes away from painting watercolors in the Congo like Marlon Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now'. What DOES matter is that if you compare the two head coaches, Bill Belicheat is an international chess grandmaster and Chargers Head Coach Norv Turner is still trying to decide between playing "Skip" and "Draw Two" in Uno.
The Pats win. But it will be close. And the game should be great.
I reserve the right to make one exception for this prediction, however. One of the basic tenets of the Bill Parcells Book of Coaching is that you never, ever show too much to a conference opponent you might have to face down the road (the AFC Title game for instance). The Pats might use the most vanilla game-plan possible; very predictable blitzes, no unique personnel packages, most of their plays out of the base offense, etc. The thinking being that an early season loss would be worth it as long as the Chargers don't get any information they can use to prepare with down the road.
After all, if we've learned one thing from this week, it's that Bill knows the value of information.
2. Sunday, September 16, Dallas Cowboys @ Miami Dolphins: This is honestly not one of the glamour games of the week. But it has my attention for two reasons: 1) I'm a huge Cowboys fan and 2) I had a girl over the house on Sunday night and the end of the opener conflicted with the start of the MTV Video Music Awards. So this is how I saw the last quarter or so:
Me: Romo…across the middle …T.O…TOUCHDOWN!! The ‘Boys are up 38-22 in the 4th. I KNEW Romo would be great this year!
*flip* Her: Ewww…I hate those girls from The Hills. What is that b**** wearing? She made it? It makes her look pregnant.
*flip* Me: Wait…damn, the Giants scored. Ok, hang on here for a second I want to…
*flip* Her: Mary J. Blige is such a good singer. Those tattoos are a little gross, though.
*flip* Me: OK..we have the ball. Romo back to pass…DAMMIT he threw a pick! I knew Romo was going to suck this year! The Giants are down three and..
*flip* Her: Those are the Panic at the Disco guys? I thought they were all gothy…? Is the one on the left gay?
You get the point. She went on about Panic at the Disco but at that point I was having a seizure and couldn't really hear with all the ringing in my ear. The Cowboys eventually put the game away. But with as much fun as it was to see Britney Spears wobble around the stage like a drunken pig in a black bikini, I've learned my lesson.
Cowboys win. And the only girls I deal with on Sundays are Hooters waitresses.
3. Sunday, September 16, New York Jets @ Baltimore Ravens: OK...let's have a more traditional breakdown: Both teams were in the play-offs last year. Both teams lost last week. And both teams are trying to avoid going 0-2 and winless in their conference to open the season.
The difference is that the Jets were completely manhandled. As badly as they looked on offense, what was even more pathetic was how much time Tom Brady had to pass. The Jets defense looked completely hapless. The Ravens, however, were within one GOD AWFUL offensive pass interference call from tying the game late in the Nati. Their defense made plays. And you have to believe that the Ravens run game will improve as the season goes on.
This will likely be an ugly field position affair for the better part of three quarters. But the Jets got a lot of friendly bounces to make the play-offs last year. Not so much, this season. Jets get smacked in the mouth.
Baltimore wins, going away late.
4. Sunday, September 16, San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams: That noise you heard last Sunday was the collective groans from all those pathetic souls who had spent a high draft pick in their fantasy league on Rams RB Steven Jackson. Jackson rushed for only 58 yards, was kept out of the end zone from short yardage late in the game, and lost two key fumbles. Jackson won't be that bad all year, but if the Rams offense struggles with protection like this all year (and that's a possibility now that All Universe OT Orlando Pace is out for the season) then this NFC dark horse might as well start planning for next season.
The Niners looked bad in an ugly game on Monday. But Alex Smith looked good late. Frank Gore gives them a genuine weapon against even the staunchest defenses (and the Rams aren't one of those). And the team continues to improve defensively under Coach Mike Nolan. I can't see the Rams losing two straight games on the turf at home, however.
The Rams will win. They better. Because if they don't, the next sound you hear will be all those Rams fans throwing themselves off the band-wagon.
5. Sunday, September 16, Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans: These two division rivals split a pair of extremelyclosegames last season, with the Titans beating the Super Bowl Champs in Tennessee 20-17 in Week 13.
So should we expect a repeat performance? Probably not.
The most impressive part about Indy's win on opening night wasn't Peyton Manning doing Peyton Manning things. It was the Colts defense shutting down what was expected to be one of the NFL's better offenses and Joseph Addai looking like a pint-sized Herschel Walker. The Titans gutted out an ugly win over the Jacksonville Jaguars, but does anyone really expect them to win again with Vince Young passing for something like 6 yards and generally playing like Dave Krieg on Tecmo Bowl? No. I didn't think so.
In that AMAZING column I wrote last week that you didn't get to read, I picked against the Titans. Apparently, I haven't learned my lesson.
Colts win.
That's it for this week. Those are the hottest games of Week 2. Check back next week and for the rest of the season as we roll through the 07-08 season.
