The 5 Step Drop 09.20.07: NFL Regular Season Week 3

Posted by Javier Zuniga on 09.20.2007

The Pats cheat, we get it already. Plus, QBs that will break your heart.

Namaste and welcome to the second edition of The 5 Step Drop, where we take a weekly look at the five HOTTEST match-ups of the coming week's NFL schedule.

Hopefully you caught last week's column and were witness to the sheer genius as I went 4 of 5 on my predictions for the week. I would've been perfect, but how do you expect me to predict that St. Louis would do their best to impersonate a Rosie O'Donnell body-suit…y'know…..completely come apart at the seams. (~OH SNAP!~)

Other than that…GENIUS!

One of the NFL's other resident geniuses didn't have such a hot week. The Beli-Cheat scandal was still making headlines, despite the fact the Pats eviscerated the Chargers on the NBC national game and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has already delivered his punishment: a $500 K fine for the coach, an additional fine for the team, and the loss of an always-crucial first round draft pick.

So what's the big deal already? Why is the media pounding this story into the ground like it was OJ doing a home invasion? Well, as I mentioned last week, Coach Bill Belichick IS kind of a douche-bag and has made very few friends in the media over the years. And there is a certain amount of negative backlash against the Pats because of their success over the last few years; NFL fans get VERY tired of having every talking head on the planet tell them that the Patriots front-office is The Brain to their team's Pinky.

After that….I have NO CLUE why this is such a hot story.

I'm not going to give you that BS that Every Team Cheats. It's not an excuse. Kids don't get away with it; parents swat away that "everyone is doing it" story like Dikembe Mutombo at a rec league pick-up game. And if it's found out that Bill Belichick and the Pats staff has kept anything away from the league office during this investigation, they deserve further punishment.

But this isn't the end of the world. They gained a competitive advantage, but if all it took to win three Super Bowls in four years was some hi-tech shenanigans then every team in the league would've recruited a team of cyborg ninjas and Optimus Prime would be playing QB for the Oakland Raiders. Everyone take a deep breath. The Patriots cheated. But the NFL could force Paranoia Pants Bill to coach every game from a bomb shelter underneath the stadium, and they'd still be one of the very best teams in all of pro sports.

Let's move on to something more interesting…like the best of Week 3:

1. Sunday, September 23, Dallas Cowboys @ Chicago Bears: What's strange is that these teams probably have more in common than most fans realize.

Both teams have talent on defense, although Da Bears are more physical and more consistent.

Both teams have big play capability on offense, although the Cowboys' running game is far more reliable than Da Bears, especially with RB Cedric Benson doing nothing to live up to his high draft pick status.

And both teams have QB's that have their fans sitting down each Sunday with a white knuckle death grip on the remote control. Tony Romo and Rex Grossman are, in a word, scary. Scary good, scary bad, scary inconsistent…doesn't matter how you put it. Watching these two run around, chucking it downfield into triple coverage…it's enough to give a fan a case of the runs. Cowboys fans were thrilled by the way Romo played last year; he turned around the season. But as good as he looked at times, Dallas supporters also get the lingering memory of Romo botching the snap on a chip shot field goal to send the game into OT at Seattle in last year's play-offs. And it's arguable that no QB in Super Bowl history has done as much to cost his team the game as Rex Grossman with Da Bears. Really, who didn't see that Pick-6 coming in the 4th quarter against Indy? That's a bad sign, right? When you actually EXPECT bad things to happen with your starting QB?

See….this is what happens when you have an entire generation of young quarterbacks that grow up admiring a guy like Brett Favre. Why not idolize a guy like Troy Aikman? He was tough, reliable, accurate, smart, …all the things that an NFL QB NEEDS to be to give his team a chance to win consistently. Sure he wasn't scrambling around like a drunken Paris Hilton jumping over her fence to get home, dragging tacklers and throwing no-look shovel passes for touchdowns. Sure, he wasn't good at making something out of nothing.

But he also didn't make NOTHING out of SOMETHING!! (Sorry, that sounded more dramatic in my head)

The point is, having one of these high-risk/high-rewards quarterbacks is a little like dating a stripper:

You know she's awesome in the sack (Yay!)…..it seems like A LOT of people know she's awesome in the sack (Boo!)….she's down for the threesome with one of her co-workers (Yay!)…she's down to get into a fight in the club parking lot at 4 am after she keyed some other girl's car (Boo!)…she's got tons of emotional baggage because of her screwed up relationship with a dad/step-dad/uncle which causes her to crave attention from men, even if its negative attention (um…..?) …she's interested in getting into starring in porn movies (Aw, hell!).

Tragically, relationships like that never work out.

As for the game itself: Tony Romo has looked very good in two games. If he can go on the road and beat a talented Bears defense, I'm a Believer. But it's more likely that he's due for a car-wreck of a game against a Bears defense that lives to force turnovers. I suspect that these two will face each other down the road with more on the line. But for now:Bears win.

Speaking of gunslinger QB's….

2. Sunday, September 23, San Diego Chargers @ Green Bay Packers: Brett Favre has his Green Bay Packers off to a surprising 2-0 start. But they have faced two teams that look like they are having a bit of a meltdown: the angst-ridden Iggles and the injury riddled G'ints. Favre hasn't looked that spectacular either. He was good against New York but had no TD's and two turnovers in the opener against Philly.

As for the Bolts: they shouldn't really be disappointed by splitting their first two games against stiff competition. But they should be worried because their offense looks terrible and they weren't even in the game against New England. San Diego was the top scoring team in the NFL last season. This year they are among the league's worst in nearly all offensive categories. And to pile on, NFL MVP LaDanian Tomlinson has been completely bottled up. I thought Norv Turner was supposed to be some kind of offensive genius? So far…not so much.

What happens this week then, against the overmatched Green Bay Packers? I predict that the Packers shock the world. Why? Because whatever Norv is doing, it looks like QB Phillip Rivers is actually regressing.With no passing attack to worry about, teams are going to have every man possible in the box against LT. This is going to force the Bolts to scratch and claw for every little bit of their offense. It's a gut-check for San Diego until they get the passing game going. And if Norv Turner has proven one thing, it's that he rarely inspires his team to step up in these types of situations.

Speaking of surprising unbeaten teams….

3. Sunday, September 23, Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans: The Texans are 2-0 and QB Matt Schaub has played so well that you almost have to think that the Atlanta Falcons are cursed. Is the Georgia Dome built on Indian burial ground? Was the Dirty Bird some pagan dance ritual? Was Jerry Glanville leaving tickets at will-call for Elvis Presley…AND SATAN!!!?? Even if Mike Vick hadn't engaged in Canine Fight Club, the Falcons might still be regretting trading Schaub away. And now…well, look for Harrington jerseys to be on the clearance rack VERY soon.

Back to the game: the Texans have looked good against very average opposition. The Colts destroyed the Saints and then toughed out a win over the Titans. I'd love to pick the Texans here, but their young defense gave up a ton of passing yards to the Panthers. And if you're giving up big chunks of yards to Carolina, well I can just imagine that Peyton & Co. should have a field day.

The Colts win.

4. Sunday, September 23, San Francisco 49ers @ Pittsburgh Steelers: It's always impressive when a young team wins close games the way Coach Mike Nolan's 49ers have in the first two weeks.

It's even more impressive when a good team like the Steelers takes advantage of lesser opponents to Unleash Hell and win going away in consecutive weeks (even if they were wearing those crappy throwback bumblebee uniforms in Week 2). Willie Parker has been an absolute savage so far and the defense has been effective, if unspectacular.

The Niners have a swarming, aggressive defense so I expect they will keep this close…for a half. But on the road, against a more talented team, Alex Smith is going to have to be REAL special to get a win here. And he's just not at that level. At least, not yet.

The Steelers win. But as annoying as it is to consider, Coach Mike Nolan has this team headed in the right direction. Which means that…soon…as much as it hurts my heart shaped like a Big Blue Star to admit…..the 49ers will be back.

5. Sunday, September 23, Cincinnati Bengals @ Seattle Seahawks: Two 1-1 teams. Both have playoff hopes. But while the Seahawks have given two consistent efforts and could easily be unbeaten after losing late on the road to Arizona, the Bengals were stunned in Week 2 when their defense (which looked great in the opener) gave up six trillion yards to the Cleveland Browns.

Seriously….Derek Anderson? Was there a less likely candidate to throw for 5 TD's? The Bengals defense even let Jamal Lewis run wild for 200 plus yards despite the fact that Lewis ran as though he was still wearing prison blues. Carson Palmer is playing out of his head, but it's hard to get behind the Bengals when they can't show up and tackle consistently week-to-week.

The Seahawks have less on-field talent, but at home, on the grass, at one of the loudest stadiums in the NFL, Qwest Field, I like them a lot. Cincinnati can't be taken seriously until they play defense more than just some of the time. I don't think that starts here.

Seahawks win.

That wraps up our look at this coming week's best NFL match-ups. Feel free to send any feedback to: [e-mail]

As always, this has been The 5 Step Drop…GO DEEP!!!!