The 5 Step Drop 10.04.07: Regular Season Week 5
Posted by Javier Zuniga on 10.04.2007
Sticky Ricky, A Super Bowl Rematch, and Leinart's Time of the Month.
Namaste and welcome to all the readers. Let's go ahead and jump into this week's edition of The 5 Step Drop.
Last week, I went a dismal 2-3 in my predictions, bringing my season record to 13-7. Now for any normal NFL columnist, this might be good enough. Hell, for a lot of them this would destroy their normal success rate. But not me. I'm a genius. A phenom. A Super Saiyan. It's completely unacceptable that someone like me go sub-.500 in my predictions in any given weekend. If I can take the time out of my schedule from saving orphans from ninjas and having sex with Maxim models to write for you mouth-breathers, then the very least I can do is have a winning weekend.
It's what you expect of me. And your lives would be shattered if I didn't come through.
So here's what we do: we ignore Week 4. Henceforth, it is The Week That Never Was. And my record goes back to a more respectable 11-4.
There. I'm sure you all feel better. Now on to what is the most interesting story of this past week: the possible return of Toronto Argonauts legend Ricky Williams. If you hadn't heard by now, it was reported earlier this week that Williams had applied for reinstatement. This, despite the fact that he has violated the NFL's substance abuse policy FOUR TIMES and that his most recent suspension (begun in April 2006) has been prolonged by yet another positive test that surfaced this past May.
World's Fastest Stoner: Ricky Williams
Now, I'm not going to pass moral judgment on Ricky. Once upon a time, in my teenage years, I spent a good bit of my spare hours killing brain-cells and figuring out new ways to McGyver a pipe out of whatever was laying around my house ("Quick….get me an apple, a ball point pen, and a rubber band….or a beer can and an old nail…or a toothbrush, six tacks, and a soda bottle..). But I will say that there is NO WAY that Sticky Icky Ricky should be allowed to return to the NFL.
Now, maybe you are one of those people fighting for legalization like those nut-jobs in Denver who are trying to get Williams to the Broncos as a way to reaffirm their support of the dank (in 2005 residents managed to pass an initiative removing all penalties for possession of small amounts of marijuana by adults). Or maybe you are just a fan of a team like Tampa Bay or St. Louis who are in dire need of help at the RB position. Maybe you just believe in second chances.
None of those things matter.
The NFL has a policy. And even though his "crime" didn't involve violence and he didn't "hurt" anyone but himself, Ricky's actions mirror those of guys like Adam ‘Pac Man' Jones and Tank Johnson in that he has repeatedly made the same mistake. Ricky has had multiple chances to correct his actions and he hasn't. it doesn't matter what the substance is. I mean, think about it: you are being given the opportunity to earn enough so that you, your children, and your children's children will never have to worry about money again and all you have to do is say ‘no.' Hell, put me in that position:
NFL: "Listen, we want to pay you millions of dollars a year, but you have to stop reading red meat."
Me: "F*ck it, pass me the fish sticks."
OK….so maybe this inability to make the decisions despite the obvious benefits proves that Ricky is an addict and needs help. Again, so what? Being an NFL player is not some inalienable right. He has proven that he can't control himself; allowing him to go back to work when he still has a severe dependency issue is enabling his habit and might actually be making things worse.
I empathize with Ricky. He seems like a genuinely good guy with some personality issues and some sort of anxiety disorder. But either he has a problem and needs to get help before he continues his career or he has no regard for the NFL rules and doesn't deserve a 5th chance. In both cases: keep him out of the NFL.
Enough of that. Let's talk about the best match-ups of what looks like it might be a weak NFL week-end.
Sunday, October 7, Seattle Seahawks (3-1) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1): The rematch from Super Bowl XL (that's 40 to you Non-Spartan Warriors). Seattle left that game feeling as though they were a little ripped off: the team continuously killed itself with penalties, drops (especially by mouthy TE Jeramy Stevens), poor clock management and a critical fourth-quarter interception of Matt Hasselbeck just when the NFC champions seemed ready to take the lead. And, even more bitterly, an apparent first quarter touchdown was nullified when offensive pass interference was called on Darrrell Jackson.
Well, two seasons later, Stevens and Jackson are gone but Seattle is winning games and looking like the class of the NFC West in much the same way they got to the Super Bowl in the first place: a swarming defense, steady play form their QB, and a balanced offensive attach led by RB Shaun Alexander (although the wear is definitely starting to show on those tires).
If you believe in Football Karma, then the ‘Hawks will show up, play lights out football, and easily dispose of this Steelers team and thereby somewhat make up for their mistake-filled
Super Bowl loss.
Unfortunately, Football Karma is a load of crap.
The Steelers are a much better team. They have one of the best defenses in the NFL (3rd in points, 2nd in Total Yards) and Big Ben has looked fantastic. Honestly, they would probably be in the argument for best team in the league along with the Pats if not for their shocking collapse last week in Arizona. It's imperative that RB Willie Parker has a big game. He was held to only 37 yards by the Cardinals and the Steelers offense ground to a screeching halt, especially late in the game. But I don't see Parker being stopped at home by an undersized Seattle defense. Steelers win.
Sunday, October 7, Tampa Bay Buccaneers(3-1) @ Indianapolis Colts (4-0): This is actually one of the better match-ups of the week. Indy is unbeaten and the Bucs are…wait..whuh? The Bucs are 3-1? How did this happen? Who's their starting QB…Jeff Garcia…ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Well, they have essentially beaten up on three very weak teams in consecutive weeks, primarily using RB Cadillac Williams to eat up yards and shorten the game. And yet, somehow they are on of the NFL's worst teams at stopping the run.
The Colts, meanwhile, have beaten three teams that look like they will be play-off contenders, and their offense looks dangerous and balanced. They are still having issues stopping the rush, which the Bucs could normally take advantage of, but…OH NO! Williams The Bucs just lost their Cadillac and their starting LT for the year. So much for pulling off the shocker.
The Colts beat Tampa Bay like they stole something. Selfishly, I hope Tampa gets up early so Peyton has to throw a few TDs and stay in the game until the 4th. My fantasy team needs it.
Sunday, October 7, Arizona Cardinals (2-2) @ St. Louis Rams (0-4) I would have zero interest in the game, but both teams have QB situations that look like Anna Nicole Smith's last night on Earth. Disgusting. And strangely erotic.
As bad as the Rams season has been, things got worse when it was announced that Gus Frerotte would be starting for Marc Bulger due to injury. Steve Jax is still out. Their offensive line is a sieve. And now their starting QB is a guy who's been around long enough to have been on Super Tecmo Bowl.
And yet…the Cards QB situation doesn't seem that much better. Despite the fact that the Cardinals just scored one of their biggest wins in franchise history, "Franchise QB" Matt Leinart spent the week bitching to a Yahoo columnist. because he's unhappy that it was Touchdown Jesus Kurt Warner who beat the Steelers and not him. And I quote:
"If I'm the franchise quarterback, play me and let me stumble, because I'll fight through it, and that will help me and our team in the long run. I know coaches want to win now, and I guess they have their reasons. But I don't understand it, and this switching back and forth is almost worse than getting benched."
Leinart gave this interview at a steak house after the game. This is surprising because most women I know don't like to eat big meals when they are on the rag. ~OH SNAP!~
Like I said last week, Matt Leinart will never really be a franchise QB until he spends more time focusing on football and less time being a prima donna. If you are on this team, can you follow a guy who is actually saying that WINNING A GAME is less important than his own personal development? Screw that.
It won't matter this week. The Cards will win easy because the Rams are the Walking Undead. But for the long haul of the season, Arizona should start Kurt.
Sunday, October 7, Baltimore Ravens (2-2) @ San Francisco 49ers (2-2): This is an intriguing match between two teams who's seasons started with more promise.
The 49ers, whose offense has already struggled, will be without starting QB Alex Smith. It looks right now that Trent Dilfer will get the nod. This, going back to my Tecmo Super Bowl corollary, can't be good. Which is too bad, because you can definitely throw on this year's Ravens Defense
The Ravens are getting old fast. How fast? Faster than this guy:
In the end, I'd pick the Niners if Smith were available. They've made it a habit of winning close, ugly games. But without him…Ravens win.
Sunday, October 7, Cleveland Browns (2-2) @ New England Patriots (4-0): I suppose you could argue that the Redksins/Lions match-up is the more competitive game, but this one has the potential to be the high-powered shoot-out that the Bengals/Pat game was supposed to be.
The Browns can't stop anyone. They're giving it up easier than Pam Anderson. And everyone knows Pan can't play bump n' run. But Derek Anderson has figured out that it's actually a god thing to throw to all those first round draft picks and the offense is clicking.
The Pats..well, the Pats look awesome. EVERTHING is clicking. Any RB they stick into the starting line-up rushes for a hundred yards, Randy Moss is quickly making his trade fomr Oakland look like on of the worst in NFL history, and the team is winning games with a record-setting margin of victory.
Pats win. This game probably won't be close, but it should be fun, with big plays on both sides of the ball.
Well that's it for this week. This has been The 5 Step Drop.,,,,,GO DEEP!!!!
