Thag The Brute Opinion Cave: 02.06.08: Super Game 42
Posted by Thag the Brute on 02.06.2008
Thag do quarter-by-quarter rundown of Super Game 42 between Giant-Man Team and Patriot-Man Team. It now Wednesday-Day, and you probably sick of hearing about Super Game by now. Read Thag anyway. Oh, and Thag gloat. About what? Read Thag The Brute Opinion Cave, and find out!
Welcome to Thag The Brute Opinion Cave for Super Game. Is time of sadness for Thag. Season-cycle for League Of National Football now over. Is probably time of happiness for many people on Intertubes; many people seem to hate Thag. Now people filled with hate have several month-cycles of happiness, as they no have to see Thag writings every week-cycle. Thag remind though...Day Of Draft not far away. Thag like itchy bumps of red on genitals, Thag never truly go away.
SUPER GAME FORTY-TWO
Giant-Man Team 17 vs. Patriot-Man Team 14
Let Thag take readers back two week-cycles, when Thag make Super Game prediction.
So who Thag pick? Patriot-Man Team have edge in almost all category. But Thag pick GIANT-MAN TEAM to win Super Game. Why? No ask Thag, he just caveman.
Everywhere Thag look, he see writers of sport who disagree with Thag. Writers in papers of news everywhere from City Of Spanish Angels to Bangor-City in Maine State pick Patriot-Man Team to win Super Game. Writers of sport get many president papers to type intelligent words, but why they wrong, and caveman like Thag right?
Many say that Thag writer of gimmick on 411mania, that he not "real" columnist. Others say that Thag pony of one trick, have bad personal hygiene, and he deviant in nature of sexual. Some of statements are true. But statement of truth also is that Thag pick winner of Super Game, while many who write words about sports for living did not.
Thag invite readers to look back at past columns of Thag. With very few exceptions, Thag pick many winners of League Of National Football games when he use Future-Sight. Say what will about Thag grammar, smell, or tendency to slap meat arrow during Deal Or No Deal, but Thag know what he talk about when it come to League Of National Football.
Thag pat self on back enough. Why did Giant-Man Team pull off upset in Super Game? Join Thag as he look at quarters.
QUARTER OF FIRST
Giant-Man Team win flipping of coin. It good thing Shockey-Man no there; he probably steal coin to pay for more tribal tattoo. Manning-Man take time, and lead Giant-Man Team down field while they eat up nearly ten minute-cycles of clock. Giant-Man Team only manage goal of field, which was some disappointment for Manning-Man. Patriot-Man Team get ball, and begin their march down field. Quarter end. Thag only see two drives, and he feel queasy in stomach. He know Carlos Mencia commercial still ahead.
QUARTER OF SECOND
Patriot-Man Team score touchdown on first play, as Maroney-Man carry ball. Eighty-four percent of people in world think this beginning of rout. It no look better when Smith-Man bobble ball, and it intercepted by Hobbs-Man from Patriot-Man Team. But they no score, and time of half come with Patriot-Man Team leading 7 to 3.
TIME OF HALF
Thag wonder how stoned Petty-Man is. Thag think it very. Thag try to emulate Petty-Man, but have to stop by "Running Down A Dream". Thag is amateur compared to Petty-Man, and week-cycle-old lunchmeat in refrigerator starting to look good to Thag.
QUARTER OF THIRD
Belichick-Man catch twelfth Giant-Man on field during punt, and throw Angry Red Challenge Flag. Patriot-Man Team win challenge, and Thag wonder if Belichick-Man ever look happy. Thag can picture him scowling everywhere; beach vacation, intimate time with wife, children birthday party. Thag think if Patriot-Man Team win Super Game, Belichick-Man still have practice Monday morning to work on special teams drills. Quarter of third is over? Neither team has scored points? And what happened to whole bottle of Comfort Of Southern?
QUARTER OF FOURTH
Giant-Man Team really beating up Brady-Man. Manning-Man tired of being behind by four points, and passes ball to Tyree-Man to take lead. Brady-Man look like he realize that Super Game may be in danger, and answer back with touchdown pass to Moss-Man with time getting low.
Manning-Man begin drive, and pull off act of magic. After he somehow escape what look like nineteen Patriot-Men trying for sack, he throw ball up in air. Tyree-Man clutch ball against helmet, and come down with for 32 yard gain. Samuel-Man almost intercept Manning-Man, but he can no make play. Manning-Man throw touchdown to Burress-Man to take lead with seconds left in game.
Brady-Man have several seconds to pull off miracle, but he pounded into grass by jacked-up Giant-Man defense. Belichick-Man decide to leave field one-sixtieth of minute early. Giant-Man Team pull off biggest upset since Lyle Lovett stick meat-arrow in Julia Roberts.
Thag happy for Giant-Man Team, who turned game up from last week of regular season-cycle. Thag feel bad for Patriot-Man Team, but maybe if they no wished to lose game, they should work on defending pass rush. And Thag angry that Shula-Man and Dolphin-Man Team of 1972 able to be smug for another year-cycle.
Thag want to thank all loyal readers for putting up with Thag for whole season-cycle. If management of 411mania will have Thag back, Thag would love to return. No forget to type all words of praise and anger to Thag Inbox. And in season of off, be sure to check out Thag MySpace page, where Thag will begin to babble about subject of random. But not for week-cycle or two...Thag really need vacation.
