The Office 09.04.08: NFL Week 1

Posted by Ken Schmidt on 09.04.2008

It's NFL time again and that means prime time for pissed off girlfriends, prime time for gaining weight on the couch and prime time for GAMBLING. The Office is back again with the best picks of the week and opinions from all over 411.

What day of the year rivals Christmas Day, your birthday, and the night you lost your virginity all in one? That's right, the opening week of football. I was texting my good buddy and fellow 411 sports zone writer, the Rizz, about just how excited we are and it is just not describable. There is fantasy football, following your home team (E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES), and of course for those degenerates out there, plenty of gambling fun. Now I will tell you right now, I am out of the gambling game, because I'm broke as it is and my girlfriend will most likely break up with me if she hears I pissed any more money away but I will be coming to you every week here in the 411 Sports Zone telling you where to spend your money. However, don't just take it from the Sports Kid. Like the Office last year, I will bring you plenty of different voices around the 411 world as well as a few members of my family and even the girlfriend's perspective to once again try to prove knowledge is not always important when it comes to picking football games.

The Sports Kid Units

As I did last year I will be giving out 10 sports kid units a week. Bet them, dispute them, do what you like, but if you stick with me until the end of the season, the odds are you will bring in some cash.

Vikings @ Packers

Apparently there was a bit of controversy this off-season surrounding the Packers. Some guy named Bret Favre seemed to bring some attention up about whether a youngster named Aaron Rogers is ready. I saw Aaron Rogers play live against the Eagles when Bret called pulled. The kid looked ready than and he is ready now. Not to mention the reason the Packers got a first round bye last season was not even Bret Favre, it was that much improved defense. It is great to see that the two teams that will be battling for the division get to show down right away in the season but I will tell you right now, I am taking the home team and I'm taking them to cover a three point spread. 5 sports kid units on the Packers –3.

Jets @ Dolphins

I know it is really tough to bet on a road team that is the favorite and people are already dropping to their knees to praise the football god Bill Parcells. Well Parcells might be the football god but I don't think even God himself can make the Dolphins passable as a ‘decent' team. The Jets are the other team in the controversial Favre situation and though I don't think he is going to be the savior of this team I do believe that he will open the running game up enough for Thomas Jones to become a big time running back once again. Meanwhile, the Dolphins are still the stinking Dolphins. They are going to lay a field goal to the Jets this week and I will snatch that up before the line moves to much. 4 sports kid units on the Jets –3.

Rams @ Eagles

In the opening week of the season a lot of people are expecting some good things out of the Eagles (even though I think SI went way to far on their pick) I will say that they should be ages ahead of the Rams this season and I am going to have some fun and lay a TINY bet on my home team. 1 sports kid unit on the Eagles –7.

The Office

First let's introduce the players before seeing everyone's picks.

Leading off the column, playing centerfield, is yours truly, the Sports Kid, Ken Schmidt.

Batting second, appropriately my NUMBER 2 in the world of the Coast 2 Coast Sports Report. It's the Rizz

Another returning member of the Office and one of two females competing. She is a diehard sports fan and my mother, Debbie Schmidt

A fourth member of this years Office that participated last year. He had a good run and finished around the top of the standings. He's taking the High Road on the NFL season and hopefully won't leave the Office on the Low Road, it's Sat.

He also participated last season but did not stick it out through the entire year. He boasts to be the UFC Pick'em champ but it is football season, so let's see him hang with the big boys, it's Dustin James

When he isn't writing for the 411 I suspect he may just be a secret member of the Prince Justice Brotherhood. He's hot, he's spicy, he tastes great, he is John Curry.

A 411 movies reviewer but a sports expert, and if you don't believe me just check his status in the Sports Zone Fact or Fiction Showdown where he is in the final 4. He is Shawn Lealos.

The man loves football, but mostly when football means soccer. He still loves his Cowboys more than he likes Manchester United and is the third member of our Coast 2 Coast family. He is Sean Garmer.

The best record last season of any returning member of the Office as well as the returning Sports Editor is the whiz kid himself, Dan Owen.

He boasts a 2-1 Fact or Fiction record and still hates me because he was unjustly bounced by JT in the tournament, my brother Dan Schmidt.

The oldest member of the Office and a man hopefully to put us young whippersnappers in place, the Furher himself, my former employer Charlie Von Plato.

And by far the prettiest of all Office members and someone who has absolutely NO knowledge or interest in the world of football. She is here to prove knowledge is not important when it comes to picking football games, she is Melissa Fox, my lovely girlfriend.

Here are the picks

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Game	Ken Schmidt	Rizz	Debbie Schmidt	Sat	Dustin James	John Curry	Shawn Lealos
Redskins @ Giants (-3.5)
Bengals @ Ravens (+1)
Jets @ Dolphins (-3)
Chiefs @ Patriots (-16.5)
Texans @ Steelers (-6.5)
Jaguars @ Titans (-3)
Lions @ Falcons (-3)
Seahawks @ Bills (+1)
Buccaneers @ Saints (-3.5)
Rams @ Eagles (-7)
Cowboys @ Browns (+4)
Panthers @ Chargers (-9)
Cardinals @ 49ers (+3)
Bears @ Colts (-9)
Vikings @ Packers (-3)
Broncos @ Raiders (+3)

Game	Sean Garmer	Dan Owen	Dan Schmidt	Charlie Von Plato	Melissa Fox	411
Redskins @ Giants (-3.5)
Bengals @ Ravens (+1)
Jets @ Dolphins (-3)
Chiefs @ Patriots (-16.5)
Texans @ Steelers (-6.5)
Jaguars @ Titans (-3)
Lions @ Falcons (-3)
Seahawks @ Bills (+1)
Buccaneers @ Saints (-3.5)
Rams @ Eagles (-7)
Cowboys @ Browns (+4)
Panthers @ Chargers (-9)
Cardinals @ 49ers (+3)
Bears @ Colts (-9)
Vikings @ Packers (-3)
Broncos @ Raiders (+3)

Suicide

For those out there who don't know what a suicide is I will make it easy for you. Each member of the Office picks one team that will WIN this week. Throw everything all the spreads out the window just tell me who is going to win there game. Simple enough right? Pick the Pats 16 weeks. Not that easy, once you pick a team you cannot pick them again. Now it isn't so easy. Last year Rizz and I were battling until the late weeks of the season when we were both knocked out giving the upset win to my mom. Debbie Schmidt is back to defend her title against plenty of newcomers in this years suicide.

Who was my pick for the always tough first week? I am going with the sure fire bet and banking on the Patriots. They are 16.5 point favorites and the toughest week is ALWAYS week 1. I'm going with old reliable here to move me into week 2 and avoid the always devastating week 1. Lealos is joining me in playing it safe with the Pats while others like Melissa and my mom are taking big favorites like the Steelers and the Colts. Rizz will bank on a bad team week 1, but in fairness they are playing a worse team, with the Lions over the Falcons. Garmer is joining him like the lovers usually do. (Expect lots of jokes this year about those two and there rumored connection). Dustin James is sure my boys the Eagles will win in week 1 while Sat is going out on a limb taking the Cards on the road against a division rival, I don't like it. And of course the pick I dislike the most would come from John Curry, perhaps he didn't get the memo of how a suicide works, he is taking AN UNDERDOG to win outright when he takes the Vikings. Speaking of things you should never do, Dan Owen picked the Ravens week one, wow! Finally Dan Schmidt went with the Jets behind the reasoning of, "whoever plays the Dolphins." The pack should slim a little next week and we will see if anyone can oust my mom from her suicide title.

Time To Punt

There will be no fantasy portion of this years Office since there are about 100 other writers here at 411 with columns focusing on the fantasy aspect. So now before I punt I will tell everyone a fantasy tidbit that they might want to bank on. Before DeShawn Jackson breaks out add him to your fantasy team. Every squad as at least a roster spot that they know they will never use. It might be a back up who will never see time or your 4th string WR. DeShawn Jackson will be catching a lot of balls and be doing big things for the Eagles this season, not to mention he will run back a punt or two for a touchdown. Get him on your squad because I can almost guarantee he is still lying about in the free agent market. Quickly people, before time runs out.