The Office 10.04.08: NFL Week 5

Posted by Ken Schmidt on 10.04.2008

The Phillies are heading to the NLCS, the Bills and Titans are the powerhouses of the NFL, and Andy Reid screwed up another win for the Eagles. Life is crazy.

Sorry the column is so late this week but I was waiting for the last second to get three men's late picks but they never came in, so alas, we have a Saturday edition of the Office.

Know I know a lot of people out there are thinking that I am going to gloat about T.O. breaking his team apart or the fact that the Cowboys are crumbling after losing one game to a division rival. This statement is FALSE. I watch the interview in the entirety where T.O. claimed he needs the ball more. I have never seen a man more led into a statement just so reporters could blow it out of proportion. It was like watching the interview with John Cena where CNN just wanted him to say something about how easy it is to dodge steroids so they could twist his words and make it seem like he was gassing harder than Batista. T.O. did not say he was upset, he was asked the same question like four times and eventually broke down and said "sure I want the ball." Would anyone want to hear him so "no I don't want the ball as much, we should spread it around." One of the most underrated sports movies of all times, The Replacements, as a classic line. "Winner's want the ball." The fact is T.O. may just be the best wide receiver since Rice, seriously. Owens is not having a mental breakdown anywhere near Chad Ocho Cinco right now, that guy has seriously checked off the wagon into pure insanity but the Cowboys should be righted when they beat the Bengals by thirty points and Chad Johnson gets more fantasy points than the top 5 WR's in football combined. Bank on it.

Sports Kid Units

The Eagles bagged me a bit last week by blowing a sure fire game winning touchdown because Andy Reid was worried about Donovan hurting himself by QB sneaking for half a yard and the game. Good work Big Red, apparently running the same play three times into the same beastly offensive line would go down as bad ideas. Either way I still took down 6 out of 10 units last week to bring me up to a still amazing 32 out of 40 units thus far. Even the professionally gamblers can't touch me.

Bears @ Lions

This one seems like a trap game to me as the Bears are coming off a huge win last week and are playing on the road against a winless team. I feel sick to my stomach about the freak accident that will screw this one up for me, but I am sticking with my guns here and banking on Matt Forte racking up over 200 all purpose yards against the listless, heartless Lions here. Sure they are off a bye week, sure they are due for a win, but I just can't help but get my money in the pot against the Lions as much as possible. 4 sports kid units on the Bears –3

Falcons @ Packers

Another game that might seem like a trap, especially considering that I am yet to pick the Falcons right this season, so you might want to just go with betting against me here but I know who will most likely start for the Packers at quarterback and it looks bad. I mean seriously? You think two late-round, rookie quarterbacks scare me? Well they should but I am not buying it. The Falcons are not as good as their record points and the Packers are better than 2-2, but this was a risk they took coming into the season. If a very talented young Aaron Rodgers got hurt than there was no Plan B. Well I am going to go ahead and take Plan A Falcons to atleast cover on the road against Plan B Green Bay. 3 sports kid units on the Falcons +7

Patriots @ 49ers

This is probably stupid of me to bet on three road teams this week but this is another game that shoots off the page at me, maybe a bad thing. The Pats are coming off a bye week still wallowing in their embarrassment at the hands of the division rival Miami Dolphins. For all you fantasy junkies that are loving Ronnie Brown, by the way, bench him this week if you have the option (on another fantasy note BUY on Brian Griese this week, I would start him over a combined tally of Ben Roethlisberger and Phillip Rivers). All fantasy talk aside this is a bounce back game for the Patriots who I am still not counting out of this division race. The Bills might be the better team but Belicheck is always the equalizer, whether it be cheating or just crafty coaching, I am taking 3 sports kid units on the Patriots –3 as they will definitely right the ship this week.

The Office

That was quite possibly the worst gambling week for the Office as a whole. 7-5 won the pool and that would be Dan Owen who shoots up the standings to the middle of the pack. While Melissa Fox still has the overall lead it is a close one early and I still am not counting out that betting genius that sits at the bottom of the standings. That is what we call a handicap people.

Standings:

Melissa Fox 32-26
Debbie Schmidt 30-38
411 29-29
Charlie Von Plato 29-29
Dan Schmidt 29-29
Sat 28-30
Rizz 28-30
Sean Garmer 27-31
Dustin James 27-31
Dan Owen 27-31
Shawn Lealos 26-32
Ken Schmidt 25-33

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Game	Ken Schmidt	Melissa Fox	Debbie Schmidt	Charlie Von Plato	Sat	Sean Garmer	411
Bears (-3) @ Lions
Falcons @ Packers (-7>
Chargers (-6.5) @ Dolphins
Seahawks @ Giants (-7)
Redskins @ Eagles (-5)
Chiefs @ Panthers (–9.5)
Titans (-3) @ Ravens
Colts (-3) @ Texans
Buccaneers @ Broncos (-3)
Bengals @ Cowboys (-13)
Bills @ Cardinals (-1)
Patriots (-3) @ 49ers
Steelers @ Jaguars (-4)
Vikings @ Saints (-3)

Suicide

For those who pay really close attention to the column, which most likely is either one person or nobody, it only took four weeks for the suicide pool to have a victor, and this year it goes to Dan Owen, the only person not to have Denver, therefore, the winner. He will try to run the season out, but we shall see, because like last years winner Debbie Schmidt, the week after winning seems to be a curse. He's got the Bears.

Time To Punt

It might have been a much shortened week that was short an entire table but the fact of the matter is with lots of tests and papers to be done my sanity is wearing as thin as Al Davis, so to compare a 22-year old writer's waning mental state to the craziest old man football has ever seen, that is a statement. The Birds were a huge disappointment this week but as I write this the Phillies are a game away from the NLCS. You have to take your wins with your losses in life and right now things are looking good in Philadelphia, even if it is just for the week.