The Round Football Column 01.19.09: 174th Edition - Barcelona are Rampant Yet Again!

Posted by  on 01.19.2009

The biggest story in football history is getting repetitive, but could Kaka really be ready to join Man. City? Thoughts on that, plus Robin van Persie's superb form, Man. United's late shows, Barcelona's scary form, Alex Pato's brilliance, and more. One Click Away.

After a week-long hiatus I'm back.

It's really exciting, I know.

No, seriously.

How ordinary is Seven Pounds by the way? I can't believe how they're building the "twist" at the end up sooooooooo much in the promos. It's so bloody obvious what has happened and what will happen within 30 minutes. It's hard not to love Will Smith, but he's made some very mediocre movies in recent years.

Slumdog Millionaire is bloody great though, despite the fact that you would never get the chance to go to the toilet after getting a question. No wonder he knew that cricket question – he looked it up on his Blackberry whilst taking a shit.

Anyway, football.....




Chelsea. In the wake of Man. City editing their Football Manager game to give themselves a £900 million transfer kitty – but in real life – the thought of Roman's pennies seem irrelevant. You almost felt sorry for them at Old Trafford and in the first half at Roots Hall, but that gut-wrenching-love-to-hate-them feeling hurtled back with a thump on Saturday afternoon as they beat Stoke 2-1 late in the game.

The media hounding of Scolari and co is exaggerated, but that's the way British journalism rolls. Some of it is certainly valid, though. Their lack of spontaneity and creativity in the final third is really shocking at times. Lamps still has a magnificent presence running into the box, but Anelka has become more of a poacher, Drogba is having some problems, Kalou is still extremely inconsistent, and the oldies seem void of desire and energy. This is certainly not a crisis, but it's clear that their attacking options need refreshing next summer.

Soccer Saturday has always been a glorious television production, but it's become quite predictable in recent weeks. As soon as the clock hits 16.55 GMT, you just know some ex-pro on Red Bull will scream about Man. United scoring a late winner somewhere. It's an exact science.

Liverpool will try to go back on top tonight, but who will their centre-backs defend against? Everton don't have any strikers! It could be the greatest tactic in Premier League history.

Arsenal got some revenge on Hull, and to say they needed to get revenge on a team such as Hull signifies the lowly heights they've been hitting this term. It was a good result, though, especially considering how the usually impeccable Clichy allowed Mendy to run him ragged all evening and produce the home side's temporary equaliser. It was only temporary, though, as Samir Nasri scored his first goal since the Man. United brace and Nicklas Bendtner capped off a 3-1 win. However, every player on the pitch was overshadowed by Robin van Persie. The Gunners have been so ordinary this season that it's hard to imagine one of their players legitimately staking a claim for the league's player of the season awards, but he really has been a revelation in a season of mediocrity. The flicks, the goals, the stunning technique, the dead balls, the assists, the turns.....it's just exceptional. He's been promising this for a long time, but injuries have stood in his way. Let's not jinx it...

On a side note, check out the expletives (if the video remains up) from one Arsenal player during the celebrations of Nasri's goal:



Arsenal remain in fifth after the Villa scraped a 2-1 win in sunny Sunderland. After conceding a pretty poor goal by their new-found standards, Villa fought back with a weird goal from James Milner and a spot-kick from the best penalty-taker since either Alan Shearer, Matt Le Tissier or Julian Dicks.

Paul Konchesky scored onehelluvagoal at Upton Park, but Fulham surprisingly went down 3-1 to West Ham. Carlton Cole is the new Romario. It's true.

Tottenham and Portsmouth followed that game on Super Sunday, and produced a rather entertaining game. Both central midfields were beyond pathetic, but more room equals more space for attackers and more entertainment than you would ever expect from these two. Armand Traore, Sol "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will only occasionally hurt me" Campbell and Big Dave Nugent looked good for Pompey, but it was David James who rolled back the years for the man of the match gong. He's looked hideous this season, but he was superb at the lane.

Oh, and Darren Bent......hahahahaha.

The boing-boings hammered Middlesbrough 3-0. Adrian Chiles probably had at least a semi.

Big Sam did the noble thing and admitted he really, really, really wanted to beat his old club, Newcastle. Luckily for him, they did. There's something about Ewood Park at the moment. It's probably the winter rain, but it's starting to look like a horrible place to go again.

Amr Zaki won't be getting £500,000-a-week from Man. City after his horror miss at Eastlands. What's more entertaining – seeing the miss or letting Chris Kamara explain it? How about both...








One of my pet-peeves in football is a defender being amazing for ages, but then only getting praised in the media after scoring a goal. It's the least important aspect of their job. That's why Joleon Lescott is one of the most overrated players on the planet we call earth. Anyway, the point is that just because Sergio Ramos has scored a couple of goals in 2009 doesn't mean that's he is great again. He's not. Good talk, I'm glad we had it.

Arjen Robben is great, though. He scored again as Real Madrid edged past a somewhat rejuvenated Osasuna side at The Bernabeu, 3-1.



Sevilla's much-maligned manager seems set to stay another week after another win, this time at home to Numancia. The Sevilla fans have some pre-ty, pre-ty high expectations, especially after all the outgoing transfers in the last few years. Their poor manager deserves more. Maybe Luis Fabiano can give him a hug or something. Either way, the Sevilla fans are stupid.

Florent Sinama-Pongolle scored as Atletico Madrid drew at Almeria.

David Villa and friends let a 2-1 lead slip in Bilbao, and eventually lost 3-2. I still think the Euro 2008 Golden Boot winner is a better player than Fernando Torres on his day, but he's nowhere to be seen at glitzy FIFA galas like El Nino. Along with Kun Aguero, the Spanish striker needs to leave his club with haste.

Joan Capdevila and Guiseppe Rossi scored as Villarreal beat Mallorca 2-0.

All that falls short of the story of the weekend, though, which again involves the mighty Barcelona. No team has ever played the first half of La Liga to a higher standard. That's no opinion. As of Saturday night, that was a fact. 50 points and a +46 goal difference after just 19 games. To say it's incredible is quite the understatement. It's hard to think they haven't peaked, but it's equally tough to imagine anyone stopping them in any competition. Leo Messi deserves every column inch he gets, for he is quite clearly the best player in the world right now. However, this Barcelona team is the Arrested Development of club football – it's quite the ensemble piece. Eric Abidal has stopped being shit, the unreal Daniel Alves has reinvented the role of the wing-back, full-back, or whatever the hell he is, Thierry Henry is rolling back the years quite brilliantly, Xavi is king and Samuel Eto'o has remembered where the net is.

Deportivo were the latest victims:



Stunning.




A lot of good stuff happened in Italy happened this weekend.

Jose Mourinho cried into his pasta as Inter Milan went down 3-1 at Atalanta. Former Channel 4 icon James Richardson predicted this result, and he deserves credit for that.

Alexandre Pato has had quite the fortnight. He bagged a classy brace at Roma last weekend and then thumped a quite brilliant winner for Meeeeeeeeeelan against Fiorentina on Saturday. Check it:



That is some technique.

Another player on form is Julio Baptista. This gave Roma a very late 1-0 win at Torino:



Where the hell was that at The Emirates?

In the other big game, Lazio drew 1-1 with Inter-chasing Juventus.




The transfer window is absolutely rampant right now.

Sky Sports have a ‘transfer clockwatch' on their website every day, the tabloids have been going nuts and well, let's face it, Man. City has turned everything on its head.

Tottenham thought they had Wilson Palacios and Craig Bellamy in the bag, but now City have come along to spoil the party. Even positive ‘arry reckons he'll have to look at other targets. It's mental stuff.

All this before we even mention that Brazilian chap who's name escapes me.

Kaka, is it?

Yeah, Kaka.

£108 million is the rumour without denial. I still don't think it'll happen, but it would be unbelievable if something did materialise. Even for Meeeeeeeeelan, this could be huge. With the quite brilliant Yoann Gourcuff returning from loan and over £100 million in the kitty, they could get someone like Sergio Aguero or Karim Benzema and have a ton of money leftover.

So much has been said about this, and even more will be written if it happens. We'll know more this time next week.

We'll also know more about the confirmed Arshavin to Arsenal negotiations. Everyone knows that Arsene Wenger is tighter than (insert dirty joke), but even he knows this is an opportunity too good to refuse – even if it means adding a couple of million to his personal valuation of the Zenit schemer.


THE WEEK AHEAD...

Carling Cup – Semi Final, Second Legs

Tuesday 20th

Man. United v Derby 4-0

Wednesday 21st

Burnley v Tottenham 1-1


Premier League

Monday 19th

Liverpool v Everton 2-0


FA Cup Fourth Round

Friday 23rd

Derby v Notts Forest 3-1

Saturday 24th

Chelsea v Ipswich 2-0
Cheltenham/Doncaster v Aston Villa 0-3 (whoever it is)
Hartlepool v West Ham 1-3
Hull v Millwall 2-1
Kettering v Fulham 0-3
Man. United v Tottenham 4-1
Portsmouth v Swansea 1-1
Sheff Utd v Charlton 2-1
Sunderland v Blackburn 2-2
Torquay v Coventry 0-1
Watford v Crystal Palace 2-3
West Brom v Burnley 1-0
Wolves v Middlesbrough 2-1

Sunday 25th

Cardiff v Arsenal 1-2
Liverpool v Everton 2-1

Two Merseyside derbies for the price of one, Middlesbrough's troubles being tested by the Championship's finest and Nigel Clough's biggest week of his career. It could be good.

Until next week...