SPOTLIGHTS
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| Halloween 2 Review |
| Posted by Erik Luers on 08.31.2009 |
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Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 has finally arrived, and it's a big, brutal, amped up slasher film, but nothing more. This time out, Zombie lacks something crucial: a story. Say what you will about his 2007 remake, but at least it had a plot (and some people accused it of having too much of one). In this new film, Michael Myers has returned to Haddonfield to kill some more. That's it. No special twists, no big secrets; it's just the same old, same old.
The filmmaker doesn't even both to explain how Myers survived falling out of his house at the end of the first movie. Isn't he supposed to be a regular mortal and, albeit extra strong, human being?
At the beginning of this film, Mike is rescued by a cow; the cops drive into one while talking about making love to dead bodies. Myers than sees a creepy image of his dead mother, all in white, with a white horse. Is this creepy or funny? Maybe both. I have seen two films this weekend in theaters with white horses in them, and although I don't know what it means, I just thought I should point that out. I couldn't help but think what it would be like if Death from The Seventh Seal came down and tried hitting on Michael's mom.
The strip club now advertises itself as the former work place of the serial killer's mother, and I found that pretty amusing. Well, amusing for me, not for the people that work there. One guy gets his head stepped in as if Mikey had just watched Irreversible. Ouch.
Laurie is now in therapy because she is still afraid of Michael (let's just call him MM) coming back. You know how she could protect herself? By moving to another town. Nothing too far, just an area a mile or two away. Michael would show up to Haddonfield and be shit out of luck.
How can Laurie speak to her dead mother's ghost? Better yet, how does she know what her mother even looks like? Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't she start seeing visions of her before Loomis' book comes out? Laurie hasn't seen her since she was a few months old, so what gives? And where the hell is the ghost of Judith Myers? Continuity, people, continuity.
And speaking of Loomis' book, you mean to tell me that the first time Laurie ever found out about her relation to MM was when she bought a copy of the book and read it? Didn't she ever think to be like every other kid in America and Google herself? She was too busy hanging out with her friends at Hot Topic, me thinks. And if the Myers family tree is such a secret, how can Loomis reveal this classified information?
Oh, and why is Loomis in this movie? There's no plot to begin with, but Malcolm McDowell just seems to be there to make wisecracks (to be fair, he is very funny). And, in the film's finale, how does he make it to the woods so quickly? Is his hotel room in the same woods as the Myers' Old Style Bed and Breakfast?
I must say, I did like the idea of Loomis as a money hungry sell out, and his scene with Al Yankovic ("hello, Mr. Weird") is pretty fun. At least someone finally brought up the Austin Powers' Mike Myers Myers in a Halloween movie. Sooner or later, it was bound to happen, fans.
The gore scenes in this film are pretty twisted, and good for that. Wait until you see what Michael does to a helpless dog. Talk about Kibble and Bits! I also liked the idea of Michael camping out in the forest for a whole year (kind of like in Halloween 5, give or take a friendly hermit), and then making the long trip back to Haddonfield.
But how does he know when it's Halloween? Does he have a calendar? Does he make x's with it with a sharpie as he anxiously counts down the days? There's that one helicopter shot where we see Michael walking through the fields and it is quite terrifying, I must admit. And boy, is his beard fierce!
Why does Zombie break a big horror movie rule by flooding the film with unnecessary dream sequences? The hospital segment is absolutely first rate, but the fact that it didn't really occur feels like a cop out. Talk about a waste of time. By the time the third dream sequence came up, I was about to call John Carpenter or Harvey Weinstein and ask them to set this series straight. I'm sure neither would have picked up their phones.
And yet, this film scores major points for an excellent hidden cameo in the bookstore scene. As Loomis argues with an angry father, we see a photo of Penelope Cruz in Volver taped to the wall. That almost makes this film a masterwork. Almost.
Final Rating: 6/10 |
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