SPOTLIGHTS
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| And we're rolling... |
| Posted by Dustin James on 04.29.2008 |
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I rented my first NWA-TNA PPV the other night out of pure boredom (hell, it was 3 o'clock in the morning) so I decided to pass my misery from that crapfest on to you guys by giving you my rant for NWA-TNA. I haven't rented a TNA PPV for about a year now (ever since I heard there was going to be a one legged wrestler named Tenacious Z wrestle, and wow, is he played out now). I must warn you, if I'm biased towards the WWE a little bit.....THAT'S BECAUSE THE WWE IS 100,000,000x better then this shit.
Erik Watts comes on TV and talks about cable piracy and how the wrestler's get paid from US buying the show and how would the people who steal the show for free feel if he came over to their house and ate their food???? How about this Erik Watts, you haven't entertained me since you come out in a shiny suit as part of Techno Team 2000 so you should be paying me money to watch you, you son of a bitch.
The TNA song is rapped by Randy Savage.
LOL
ROFL
LMAO
WOOP DE WOOP
1st match: Abyss vs. D'Lo Brown
Abyss just looks like a cheap version of the old Kane. Why not change him up a little bit and give him a name like "Fred" or something? And what the hell happened to D'Lo's face??? The guy has spots all over it! I guess it's true......when wrestler's leave the WWE, there looks and life goes to shit. Personally, I don't rate matches because I've never been in a ring before so how do I know what's good and what's not......FUCK ALL YOU GUYS WHO RATE THE SHIT! WATCH THE SHOW AND JUST LAUGH AT D'LO'S SPOTS!
A bunch of guys are in the back led by "Triple J" (his nickname in TNA????) and Jarrett's talking on the phone to somebody.....a whole bunch of bad acting here that makes Test look like friggin Robert DeNiro. PASS.
2nd match: Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane
I'm assuming Chris Sabin is German since his trademark calling is "HAIL SABIN". A funny thing about TNA is ALL of their titan trons look alike, and they all look like screensavers off a computer with the wrestler's names written on them. I was too busy laughing at the screensaver titan trons to watch this match, but I'm sure it was good...because isn't Michael Shane, HBK's cousin? If so, it's funny seeing Michael Shane buddy up with Shane Douglas the guy who was supposedly "ran out" of the WWF by HBK, Nash, and Hall.
Mike Tenay interviews some guy from Survivor named "Johnny Fairplay". Right off the bat I find this guy fucking annoying. I know him from his days as Roddy Piper's employee and when they tried to start up Oregon Championship Wrestling a few years back. God, I hate Johnny Fairplay. Come back to Oregon so I can slice your throat with a knife.
The most boring and talentless guy in ECW history is now on my TV set, The Sandman. TNA looks like they are trying to capitiliaze on any ECW fanfare still around as Sandman has been trying to bring in former ECW stars to help take care of Julio Dinero and CM Punk (who rules by the way). First, he tried Raven but Raven failed him, then he tried Louie Spicolli, but forgot he was dead, then he tried Jake Roberts but Sandman forgot to bring crack to the arena.....OK, so the last two were jokes. But SANDMAN SWEARS HE HAS SOMEBODY HUGE! Which usually is a dissapointment. And that somebody huge is.....Mikey Whipwreck????? Excuse me while I call my cable company up and demand both my money and my time back. Anyway, the ECW guys lose and Sandman now say's he's going to bring to TNA next week.....THE KING OF HARDCORE. That's right, the only man who was around when the 1st person on Earth painted the sky blue....Terry Funk.
After hearing that last announcement I waited for Brian Urlacher to come out and see what he was going to do. And the minute I see Urlacher bounce off the ropes in the clumsiest fashion I've ever seen, I turned this fucker off. I shit you not. I vow to never buy a TNA PPV again unless Vince McMahon orders me too, or unless Scott Hall shows up.
A huge FUCK you to NWA-TNA for not only sucking, but bringing in the worst rap band ever.....the Insane Clown Posse. And the only thing worse then ICP is those idiotic fans of theirs. FUCK YOU ALL! |
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