Baron Von Jeff Hardy's Mutant Clone
I liked Pink
Reged: 05/10/03
Posts: 16985
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And she was 16 no less! Consider this a highly credible rumour, confirmed sans public revealing of the name by Wood's sister who says she might let the name slip after the guy dies. Douglas fits the profile of a highly successful icon of the cinema, at his peak in the 50's, worked for the same studio as Wood, powerful enough to intimidate Wood into silence, and who's still alive. Pretty much anyone else who all that could apply to is dead.
This was news to me, and it's disturbingly close to my deepest, darkest fantasy. The part about being raped by Kirk Douglas that is! 
DISCUSS! (the Natalie Wood thing, not me wanting to get the pork tornado from Spartacus)
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punchdrunk
Unified Champion
Reged: 06/09/03
Posts: 27000
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He's always seemed like a good guy from anything I've heard in the media. I'm gonna say "false until proven".
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"The squeeze is worth the juice." - Forrest Griffin
"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own -- for the children, and the children yet unborn." - Rod Serling
"Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass they see face to face, and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends; that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal." - William Penn
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Quote:
And she was 16 no less! Consider this a highly credible rumour, confirmed sans public revealing of the name by Wood's sister who says she might let the name slip after the guy dies. Douglas fits the profile of a highly successful icon of the cinema, at his peak in the 50's, worked for the same studio as Wood, powerful enough to intimidate Wood into silence, and who's still alive. Pretty much anyone else who all that could apply to is dead.
This was news to me, and it's disturbingly close to my deepest, darkest fantasy. The part about being raped by Kirk Douglas that is!
DISCUSS! (the Natalie Wood thing, not me wanting to get the pork tornado from Spartacus)
Gonna have to ask the gf if she wants the pork tornado.
On topic. This is fucked up, yet strangely entertaining.
I'm picturing the incident occurring in black and white and chuckling. I know that's bad but I can't help it.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
*Credit to Shane
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A-hole Ronald
Billions and Billions Served
Reged: 06/06/03
Posts: 1057
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I can see Sparticus doing that shit.
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punchdrunk
Unified Champion
Reged: 06/09/03
Posts: 27000
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Which is the bigger crime:
Kirk Douglas raping Natalie Wood or Michael Douglas marrying, and consistently banging, Catherine Xeta-Jones.
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"The squeeze is worth the juice." - Forrest Griffin
"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own -- for the children, and the children yet unborn." - Rod Serling
"Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass they see face to face, and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends; that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal." - William Penn
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Quote:
I can see Sparticus doing that shit.
omg yeah he'd do it right on the chariot during a race. 
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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T-Shower
Greatest Poster Ever
Reged: 06/28/01
Posts: 11643
Loc: Perth, West Australia
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THIS THREAD MAKES ME MARK OUT FOR KIRK DOUGLAS!!!
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"A lot of people masturbate to see who is fastest. I masturbate to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. Nobody is going to win a 5,000 hour wank after jacking an easy 2 minutes. Not with me. If I lose forcing the pace all the way, well, at least I can play with myself." - Prefontaine the Gay
My pleasure is your pleasure's pain.
Anyone can jerk off 100 times. It's the next 4900 that count.
"Tough times don't last but tough penises do." A.C. Green, Champion Masturbator
WANKING RESUME:
5 times - 16:45, 2 times - 10:20
8 times - 28:03, 10 times - 37:03
HALF CENTURY - 1:23:45 CENTURY - 3:05:41
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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hahahahha yeah man, he's an American.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Kirk didn't rape anyone... here's how it went down.
Kirk: Natalie Wood I want you to come over here and Suck My Cock. I'm Kirk Douglas; American, Actor, Hero to Millions.
Natalie: I'm such a slut, do me now! Ram your monster cock into my hot steamy love hole!!!
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Psychotic Break Kermit
I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 7852
Loc: Ragin' on the Stage...n'
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You are a very lonely man aren't you Ash?
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Tongue firmly planted in cheek.
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Hahahaha no I'm really not.. but I have quite a short attention span.
Hmmm wonder why lol
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Psychotic Break Kermit
I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 7852
Loc: Ragin' on the Stage...n'
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Can I take a guess?
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Tongue firmly planted in cheek.
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Dedicated Underachiever
slacker
Reged: 03/05/03
Posts: 6485
Loc: Brisbane, Australia
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YOu may be onto something Kermit
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A hero is a goddam stupid thing to have in the first place and a general block to anything you might wanta accomplish on your own - Lester Bangs
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Spartan
Most Underrated Poster 2009
Reged: 09/25/03
Posts: 7154
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"OK, I raped her"
"NO, I raped her"
'I raped her"
"No, it was me that raped her"
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2009 Most Underrated Poster.
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Quote:
Can I take a guess?
Me? Engage in that sort of behavior?
Surely you jest!!!
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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J.T.
Kool-Aid and Cornbread.
Reged: 05/04/05
Posts: 6502
Loc: Allen Park, MI
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Quote:
Which is the bigger crime:
Kirk Douglas raping Natalie Wood or Michael Douglas marrying, and consistently banging, Catherine Xeta-Jones.
Most definitely the latter. Kirk Douglas, a one time disgrace to the law and morality; Michael Douglas, a constant disgrace to all of mankind and everything that is right in this world. Michael Douglas is fucking up the balance of the entire universe every time he gets some of that.
On a side note, raping someone is fucked up to the furthest extent. PERIOD.
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"He must have seen the game." - Coach Jim Schwartz, referring to a baby that was crying in the back of the room at the post-game press conference.
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Can we get some kinda photoshop of Kirk sticking it to Natalie?
"I'M SPARTACUS DAMNIT!! TAKE THE "CHARIOT OF FIRE" BITCH!! TAKE IT ALL!"
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Lebowski
Little Miss Sunshine.
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 24904
Loc: drunk
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Her last name is Wood. Who wouldn't rape her?
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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I'd rape her twice, you see her pictures? Highly Rape-A-Ble.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Baron Von Jeff Hardy's Mutant Clone
I liked Pink
Reged: 05/10/03
Posts: 16985
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YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK! THIS THREAD IS ABOUT GETTING RAPED BY KIRK DOUGLAS, NOT ABOUT RAPING CHICKS! 
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Evocator, King Of Christmas
Lord Powderkeg
Reged: 11/24/02
Posts: 4643
Loc: EMISGOD
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So...you're saying you want to be raped by Kirk Douglas??? 
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________________
Fuck soccer.
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Baron Von Jeff Hardy's Mutant Clone
I liked Pink
Reged: 05/10/03
Posts: 16985
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DUH!
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Lebowski
Little Miss Sunshine.
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 24904
Loc: drunk
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Who doesn't?
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Phlesh
I'm A Big Boy
Reged: 02/04/03
Posts: 11233
Loc: Columbus, OH
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Who can blame him?
I'd hit it...
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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The bitch was obviously begging for it.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Jeff Hardy's Mutant Clone
CRIPPLED CLONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reged: 03/30/02
Posts: 6464
Loc: Sploogeville
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EXACT RAPE SCENE RECREATED:
Kirk: "Bitch, I'm Kobe and you're some white chick."
Natalie: "Law suit here I come. BOO YEAH!!!!!!!!"
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(Banner by P. Bonomo)
“JR would stand on the announce table and sing "Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief!" and throw up the hand.”
CLICK -----> NASH HAS TIGHT JEANS <----- ME!!!!!
Put your weight on it. 
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Harvey Birdman
FRAME ELBOW, BITCH!!
Reged: 06/11/03
Posts: 5191
Loc: Boner City
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Anybody else wish they were still alive to play the Comedian and Silk Spectre in a Watchmen flick?
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"i don't have time to argue with obvious living with mommy sword swallowers" - The King
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cenarules
Senior 411-ite
Reged: 04/21/06
Posts: 1129
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Quote:
Which is the bigger crime:
Kirk Douglas raping Natalie Wood or Michael Douglas marrying, and consistently banging, Catherine Xeta-Jones.
That's a tough one. Rape is a very serious crime, but Michael Douglas getting to have Catherine Zeta Jones is pretty bad, too. She would be much better off with someone like...me. 
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[image]http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i178/THE-SHARP-EDGE/Wrestling%20Gifs/defecates_all_over/1zr2zbr.gif[/image]
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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I like the movie with Sean Connery where her butt goes under the lasers. That was the only reason I saw that movie, the preview with butt lasers.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Harvey Birdman
FRAME ELBOW, BITCH!!
Reged: 06/11/03
Posts: 5191
Loc: Boner City
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Kirk Douglass would have used butt lasers on Natalie, but they didn't have the technology.
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"i don't have time to argue with obvious living with mommy sword swallowers" - The King
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Yeah he didn't use any protection I'm sure.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Coochie Monkie
Deep as a puddle. a Puddle that happens to be in the atlantic ocean. But ask yourself this, is it?
Reged: 09/08/02
Posts: 13546
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Funny thread this one, but seriously...
Quote:
Most definitely the latter. Kirk Douglas, a one time disgrace to the law and morality; Michael Douglas, a constant disgrace to all of mankind and everything that is right in this world. Michael Douglas is fucking up the balance of the entire universe every time he gets some of that.
And what would you call banging Sharon Stone in her prime then in Basic Instinct?
I don't know Zeta's personality, and neither do you, but with his movie stardom and shitload of money, Michael Douglas could probably get someone a lot hotter.
Catherine Zeta looks somewhat plain, especially for a succesful female actress.
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I put the monk in monkey, zun jin!
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Maul
Dammit, newbie.
Reged: 07/02/06
Posts: 89
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This isn't the first time I've heard this. Can't remember where it was though.
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Psychotic Break Kermit
I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 7852
Loc: Ragin' on the Stage...n'
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Way to dig up old threads. 
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Tongue firmly planted in cheek.
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Coochie Monkie
Deep as a puddle. a Puddle that happens to be in the atlantic ocean. But ask yourself this, is it?
Reged: 09/08/02
Posts: 13546
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I'm so sick of people hatin' on diggin' up ol' threads just cuz' they dig it not.
If you don't like this thread go read something else.
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I put the monk in monkey, zun jin!
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Baron Von Jeff Hardy's Mutant Clone
I liked Pink
Reged: 05/10/03
Posts: 16985
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yeah, this thread is awesome, I'm so glad it got bumped
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Major Tom
So raw, so rich. Takes your broad, fucks your bitch
Reged: 01/16/05
Posts: 11957
Loc: Your Mother's Asshole
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I heard motherfucker raped her with a pool stick.
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I fuck so hard I make the pussy fart
http://www.411mania.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=5769851&an=0&page=0#Post5769851
^Major Tom Appreciation Month. Now representing 7 years deep.
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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Quote:
Way to dig up old threads.
okay Forum Ettiquette Master 
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
Edited by Ashster (07/03/06 01:25 PM)
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Booty Inspector Hollywood
Shook Tenay's Hand
Reged: 01/28/04
Posts: 30262
Loc: Pon De Floor
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And I heard he put his penis in her ass.
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Hulkster: DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Credit to Shane
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Major Tom
So raw, so rich. Takes your broad, fucks your bitch
Reged: 01/16/05
Posts: 11957
Loc: Your Mother's Asshole
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I heard he used a fork.
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I fuck so hard I make the pussy fart
http://www.411mania.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=5769851&an=0&page=0#Post5769851
^Major Tom Appreciation Month. Now representing 7 years deep.
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