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411mania » The 411 » Damian Sarcuni

Picture:
Name:	Damian Sarcuni
Email:	damian@projectangel.net
Current Roles:	Angry gamer
Past Roles:	Webcam brothel manager
Other credits:	Anything that makes women cry.
Quote:	"All Is Vanity."
History:	Former Twingalaxies.com DDR champion, only known survivor of malignant swanoma cancer. No really, I'm serious.

Blog

And we're rolling... - 03.17.2008

Angry Gaming will now be appearing every other monday as opposed to every monday until further notice. The reason for this is that I now work into the evenings both on Sunday and Monday, and on top of that I have signed yet another deal with Eastbound FX for non-MMA, non-game related event coverage. I apologize to anyone who looks forward to the column each week.

And we're rolling... - 02.11.2008

Today's Angry Gaming is our supersized misogyny special. I'm not sure why I didn't do an anti-female article for last Valentine's Day and even some of the hate club asked me why I didn't think of this sooner. Regardless, I spent a lot of time working on this article and it turned out better than I had hoped.

In fact, I'm honestly a little nervous because I'm not entirely sure I can top it. At least not in terms of teh angry gaming funny. If you haven't checked out the column before definitely check it out now. It's our 75th Angry Gaming also, so I'm sure there's some significance to that as well.

Behind the scenes info: I also wanted to add a few more girls like Aeris from Final Fantasy VII and Lara Croft into the mix, but I didn't want the overall theme to get stale. If anyone wants to see my profiles for the additional characters, shoot me an email and I'll be happy to share it with you.

And we're rolling... - 01.29.2008

Starting today I will no longer be writing for the MMA section of 411mania.com as I have worked out an exclusive paying position with another site. I just want to use this space to thank Caleb and Ashish for giving me the opportunity to show my work, I owe this opportunity greatly to them.

I intend to continue contributing to 411's Games section as usual.

And we're rolling... - 12.31.2007

If you read my play by play of the IFL's 2007 Grand Prix Tournament, you might have noticed that it ended on a somewhat awkward note. I'm going to try and state exactly what happened somewhat objectively while still managing to explain our side of the story.

Jose Chavez has been my photographer for several MMA events, both at the IFL and otherwise. As amateurs, we don't use all the equipment that other writers and reporters do. Jose does not use a top grade camera, he uses a larger digital kodak cam that achieves high resolution photos. We have always been pleased with the results of Jose's work. As a gratitude for receiving press credentials, Jose and I always make certain to send the IFL copies of our work after an event, and they have never expressed any displeasure with it.

At the event in question, things were a bit hectic in the media section. Several media floor seats wound up double booked, and certain parts of the show had to be arranged at short notice. It wasn't an ideal situation, but the IFL's public relations head Jerry Milani made certain to grant 411Mania two floor seats and a spot at ringside for photos. This is a lot more than other media members were given.

The night went on perfectly, until the final fight between Ryan Schultz and Chris Horodecki. Just as this fight began, the IFL's VP of operations, Keith Evans, approached Jose and removed him from ringside, stating that Jose's camera was too small. He attempted to further explain himself, but Jose wasn't interested. "If I can't stay ringside, what's the point in talking?" Jose told me what happened and I was appalled. Not only had there not been a problem until the final fight of the night, but this was the first event anyone had a problem with Jose's camera. Nobody had checked Jose's equipment prior to the event, or even said something earlier in the evening. Keith Evans waited until the last match to remove Jose, and in doing so he accomplished nothing except irking us and hurting our coverage.

I first approached IFL president Kurt Otto, trying to rectify the situation. He was stand offish about the whole thing and directed me back to Jerry Milani, whom Jose was unable to find while the fight was going on. Finally, I approached Jerry and complained, but he responded that it was too late and there was nothing he could do about it (the fight was over at this point). I was furious. I marched over to Keith Evans despite protests from my team and had a chat with him. Keith wasn't very accomodating until I explained that 411Mania and the IFL had a long standing relationship, at which point he DID apologize repeatedly. However, he continued to try and get me to admit that smaller cameras do not belong at ringside, which I refused to do. At this, Keith claimed that I "wasn't being real" with him.

We went to the post fight press conference area where Jerry Milani also apologized and did attempt to further rectify the situation. However, the whole thing left a very sour taste in our mouths. What's more, the press conference area was far too booked for us to get any decent recorded coverage, so at that point we left. I'll say again that the IFL suits did apologize to me personally and we did accept, but I still think it is important to talk about what happened as to clarify the ending of the tournament play by play I have posted.

And we're rolling... - 12.25.2007

The rest of you can go stick it.

Lights on the avenue
All seem so far away
I'm up here drinking a toast to you
On such a special day

Tonight is the night for I love you's
Wish we could have this feeling
Throughout the year
Christmas is here
Christmas is here

Ooooohhhhhh

Tonight is the night for I love you's
And if you hold me near you
You'll feel my heart
Beating for two

Tonight is the night for I love you's
Up above the snow is falling
And stars disappear
My heart is calling
Christmas is here

And we're rolling... - 12.18.2007

A common occurance I've started noticing across the board in every category of the 411mania site is that a lot of reader feedback consists of mocking typographical errors. I'm not talking about common spelling mistakes so much as words that are spelled properly but don't take the proper meaning or tense. I seriously feel that the people pointing these out are the same forum trolls who would rather mock a person's intellect than actually back up their own arguments. And with the new comments section now online for all articles, I'm seeing more of this blather than ever.

What I think people don't realize is the concept of "editing" here at 411 is non-existant. Our editors don't actually edit our work, we are required to do it ourselves and with the help of various spellcheckers that can miss quite a lot. That isn't a knock at our editing staff at all. They are incredibly busy setting up interviews, reviews, column formats, and acting as liaisons between the writers and the 411 top brass. That's only a handful of their duties by the way, the actual list is too long for me to bother typing.

So the next time you see a typo, RELAX! We know what we were trying to say and you know what we were trying to say, so why point it out? It's not even a viable insult when you consider the amount of time and practice it would take to have the ability to type anything out to perfection every time. If that is what you expect of our writing, well, I for one don't need readers like that.

And we're rolling... - 11.27.2007

I finally caved in and got a myspace. The purpose of it is to promote my work here, of which the purpose is to promote my independent work. And the purpose of my independent work is to make money. So I got a myspace to make money.

http://www.myspace.com/projectangel

Feel free to spam me. I'm bored enough as it is.

And we're rolling... - 11.02.2007

This week's Story Time With E is good, good stuff. Enrique's writing style is really passionate and imaginative, with just the right amount of metaphors and realism to keep his articles interesting from start to finish. This week he takes on conspiracy theorists who obsess over the 9/11 WTC incident, and calls them out for what they are: whiny college kids and attention whores fueled by mainstream currents ebbing towards a witch hunt against the Bush administration. These people are pathetic. Last call ended on this topic years ago, but they are still at the bar slapping each other on the back for being so dedicated to the cause.

But let's not detract from the star here. Enrique sealed the deal on his article by gathering up videos of popular politicians such as Bill Clinton confronted by 9/11 truthers and making them look like fools. I haven't been this entertained by politics since I made out with the student council president's girlfriend while he was off on the campaign trail. Sometimes, I miss college. Then I come to my senses.

Go read Enrique's stuff!

And we're rolling... - 10.23.2007

Anyone who knows me knows that I am often camera shy and very self concious. For a picture with mixed martial arts legend Fedor Emelianenko however, I will make an exception.

Shh! Don't show the other readers!

And we're rolling... - 10.17.2007

This past week I was chastized by my family for bringing up one of my relatives in an article and criticizing his shoddy workmanship. They claim that it was the wrong forum to talk about such things and I volunteer personal information like that just for the sake of a joke. I'm actually no stranger to complaints like these, from family or friends.

The thing that gets me about these complaints though is that they are directed toward me as a writer, who recorded a wrong doing, rather the person who actually DID something wrong. My mother never called my uncle to complain about him leaving us high and dry. She never even mentioned it to him and barely to any other relatives. Why does it have to remain such a secret that he screwed us over? I literally have a set of overhead lights that don't turn on and an exposed outlet on my wall because this man decided he didn't want to finish the job. That is a fact. That is reality.

And yet people don't want to face that reality. For whatever reason, often times many people have this innate fear, a need to be like ostriches and keep their heads in the ground until trouble passes over. I simply cannot understand where this thinking comes from. As writers, it our duty to acknowledge reality and the right and wrong of social order, and as people it is our duty to take notice of these acknowledgements and correct the situation with every ounce of our being.

In other words, if you don't want me to write about a situation, fix it. It's that simple.

And we're rolling... - 09.29.2007

I'm not kidding.

I became a fan of Pride/DEEP veteran Ryo Chonan back in 2005. Chonan lived and fought in Japan, but his fighting style and persona struck a chord with me. I made it a goal of mine to one day travel to Japan and see Chonan fight live, and if given the chance to meet him and shake his hand.

In 2006, I started writing for the 411mania games section. At no point in time did I ever consider the possibility of covering mixed martial arts as well. It was a cool hobby that helped me pass some time as well as practice my writing. Plus, it added a new aspect to gaming for me, so it was cool.

Since that time, Chonan has come to America. I have gone to several MMA shows and interviewed several fighters. Chonan signed with the UFC and 411's MMA section grew. Two very different trains left from two very different stations, but they are now destined to meet.

Ryo Chonan is scheduled to face Thiago Alvez in an MMA match this November in New Jersey, a mere two hour drive from my house. Clearly this is proof of the existence of the almighty God. There has to be a supreme being in the universe in order for these events to have happened, for two paths so different to actually cross and to live out one of my dreams as a fan and as a writer. This could not have transpired any other way.

I am going to interview Ryo Chonan. Mark my words. I don't care who I have to call or what I have to do. I will land this interview, and it will be one of the most in depth looks into a fighter's spirit any MMA site has ever seen. I am declaring my intentions now. Ryo "The Butchering Piranha" Chonan will be interviewed by Damian Sarcuni, and the MMA section will never be the same again afterward!

And we're rolling... - 09.04.2007

Ok kiddies, the hiatus is officially over. The results are in and Smacktalk is officially dead. There were many contributing factors to this but the primary one is that I need some time to focus on my fiction writing and during MMA event hot spots the work load becomes too damn heavy.

Instead, I have decided to start a new column with a far lighter schedule. I am officially announcing the inception of Ask 411: MMA Edition! I'll be answering all the pressing questions of today's mixed martial arts scene ranging from the TUF noobs all the way down to the classic keyboard bad asses. Send in your questions to damian@projectangel.net today!

Angry Gaming will resume its weekly schedule starting this Monday.

F.E.A.R. sucked and Extraction Point wasn't much better.

And we're rolling... - 08.20.2007

I've never had any hesitation in being up front and frank about most undesireable situations. As far as 411 goes, things have slowed to a crawl and I have put myself on hiatus. Granted, this is not because of a single matter but a combination of many both on my part and on the part of my fellow writers and staff. I have no doubt that a little time off will allow everything to get back to a normal flow again, but for now I've got some other things I want to focus on anyway. I don't expect to be gone for very long, and there may be some changes in my column schedule when I get back up to full speed, but for now the works are officially on hold.

And we're rolling... - 07.23.2007

If my articles this weekend seem a little weird it's due to a combination of overstimulating social situations and alcohol. I was out quite a bit these past few days, and for the first time in awhile I felt very little pressure to do anything other than enjoy myself. I think this comes from both being more accepted by the seperate parties my friends already hang out with and an abundance of truly amusing characters (who I wouldn't want to touch with a ten foot pole under other circumstances). The down side to all of this is my Final Fantasy XI account is being ignored. And I just switched servers too!

Next week we should have live IFL coverage up. Going to all of these fights has been an absolute fan boy dream come true for Jose and I, and we're really grateful that we got the chance to do it at all. In the coming months I think we will see some serious expansion of the coverage in 411's MMA section. Getting press creds has really brought together a team for me that enables me to put up a professional level of in depth writing and pics onto the site. I don't want to get to far ahead of myself, but suffice to say its coming along very nicely, so if you read the MMA section already be prepared for a treat.

And we're rolling... - 07.09.2007

I took a brief hiatus from Angry Gaming for a week in honor of 411 games' first anniversary. The idea was to relax from writing for a bit in order to gather inspiration for future articles (since I've been writing every weekend for a year straight). The vacation turned out to be nearly worthless as my time normally spent on Angry Gaming was replaced by several projects in the MMA zone. I'm not complaining, I just find it funny how the one time I finally decide to take a break, dozens of can't miss opportunities suddenly arise.

I did however, find the inspiration I was looking for. Not just for writing more Angry Gaming articles, but in other areas as well. I've decided to start writing fiction again, taking my foremost idea and finally putting it in novel form. In the past, my attempts at fiction haven't been descriptive enough and usually result in a 600 page book being condensed into about 60 pages literally. But writing for 411 week after week is just the practice I needed to really buckle down and add serious content into this project. From the outset I can already see its working, and my book is finally about to attain its proper size. Can't say where it will go from there though.

And we're rolling... - 06.20.2007

I hate the word Ima. Ima is a typed contraction used on the internet, used to come the words "I'm" and "Going to" into a single subject/verb. As in "Ima go to the store in a bit" or "Ima take a shower". The existence of this typed word just goes to show the ignorance and laziness of internet culture.

Let me start by saying I have no problem with the SPOKEN word Ima, or amma. It fits the tone of most rap songs and serves a purpose of showing intensity. The Insane Clown Posse's "IMA STAB YOU WITH AN UMBRELLA AND OPEN IT!" lyric wouldn't sound nearly as good without the word Ima in there.

The problem is that there is no reason to type Ima. The proper contraction in english for I will is I'll, and you can easily remove ' symbol when typing online. Nobody confuses I'll and ill anymore, so "Ill go to the store" works just fine and sounds far better than typing the word Ima. The number of letters for Ill and Ima are exactly the same. Ill is the superior contraction but people WANT to sound retarded online, so Ill has died while Ima has thrived.

Idiots.

And we're rolling... - 06.15.2007

Ever since I've joined 411mania, I've had to deal with something incredibly annoying to me. Namely, I've had to deal with columnists from "rival" sites and wannabe writers/English majors, questioning my "journalistic integrity". Every time I spell a name wrong or write an opinion someone doesn't disagree with, they call my out on my "journalistic integrity" and act like I'm pretending to be some hardcore news man when I'm really some sinister overlord just using my position to further my own gains. This happened when I started in the games section and its happening now in the MMA section.

I don't think it's giving away any big secret to admit publicly that 411 does not pay me any wages. This is not my job, it's a hobby at best. Of course I love writing and I certainly appreciate all the perks that come with being a 411 writer. That being said, everything that I have written has been an effort on my part, and an uncompensated one at that. When I write something, I am doing a service for the owners of this site and its visitors, not getting myself over or furthering my career.

I don't have "journalistic integrity" or any "moral code book" that I have to adhere to. What I do have is a sense of decency and a desire to report the way I see the world as accurately as possible. If I fail to do that sometimes, BIG DEAL. I don't OWE anything to anyone, and if those running this site felt my views were untrustworthy or lacking in value, they simply would not approve my articles and not publish them. They've done it before and they have every right to it.

So for future reference, I am not a "journalist". I have never been billed as a journalist, even when registering for events I have reported on. I'm a writer. Learn the difference.

And we're rolling... - 05.25.2007

With the new MMA section in full swing, there's been talk about moving Smacktalk to a different day. On the one hand, it kinda sucks because writing on Thursday/posting on Friday fits right into our schedule. Jose and I watch The Ultimate Fighter, do the article, all in one nice tidy night. On the other hand, writing on another night means more exposure for the column, which is always a good thing. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

Speaking of MMA, my teacher gave me quite an earful in class last week. He basically said I'm lazy, too fat, and suck. He then said I have the potential to be amazing. Talk about a double edged sword. Prompted by this, I've started cutting weight. This time around, my friends and family are actually HELPING me somewhat, and so far I've been pretty successful (I'm down 9 pounds in 4 days).

Meanwhile the game section is turning into an absolute blast. I got the chance to work out my differences with McHugh and McCabe, and I got some great insight as to my fellow writer's music tastes. It turns out metal isn't dead, its just dispersed across the world and sleeping. Who knew?

And we're rolling... - 05.03.2007

A new map pack for Gears of War was released today. It includes four new maps for a very overpriced 800 Microsoft points (around $10). Here's my breakdown:

Garden - This is definately the map everyone is going to be playing for quite awhile. It's huge, and the layout makes it easy to flank your opponents. The poison gases in the greenhouse areas are a nice effect too.

Bullet Marsh - I really dislike this one. The weapon drops are completely out of the way and there's a lot of open areas that are in accessible even though they appear to be. The rain makes everything more confusing as well.

Subway - This one is probably my favorite. A nice small battleground with a ton of weapons and well placed obstacles. You need keen senses and quick wits to play here, and its probably my favorite in the pack.

Plant - While this is probably the least memorable map due to its simplistic design, its really good. It's absolutely huge, and the center area has a giant vat for opponents to circle around (while dealing with sniper shots and grenade tosses from all sides).

On the whole, the pack adds a nice shot of flavor into GoW, though the price is a bit much. Still, nearly everyone who bought the game is going to pick it up, so what can you do?

On the MMA homefront, its an uphill battle for Smacktalk. We've been struggling to find a solid, promoteable spot on the Sports section and to make matters worse some idiots are re-posting the column on various message boards. Since most people on Sherdog.net have the IQ of mayonnaise, they either consider the dumbass threadstart to be the author or just assume we wrote the article for that site instead of 411. Ugh. But its all good, Angry Gaming started out with the same obstacles, and we'll overcome them the same way.

And we're rolling... - 04.28.2007

And so I have debuted my new MMA column, Smacktalk. Though not nearly as epic as Fight Story was, this column is ten times easier and more fun to write. I'll admit the first week was a rush job, but I'm confident the concept will at least attract more people to 411's MMA section.

I beat Mega Man ZX and Custom Robo Arena. Both had really great stories considering they were oriented toward kids. I finally got the chance to start up Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin and all in all I have to say the Nintendo DS is one of the most pleasing pieces of hardware I've ever picked up.

So tomorrow I have a date of sorts with an old friend's ex that I happened to run into. I've had a crush on this girl since I first saw her so hopefully the nostalgia will be enough to enhance my look/personality. It's amazing to me how, even when you manage to get your expectations down to a complete zero, the right word from the opposite sex can still brighten your day like a god damn sun lamp.

Onward to mother Russia!

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