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411mania » The 411 » Mitch Michaels

Picture:
Name:	Mitch Michaels
Email:	ask411music@yahoo.com
Current Roles:	Columnist (Quick 'n' Dirty Music News, monthly Music Roundtable), Curator of the 411 Music Hall of Fame, CD Reviewer, News Reporter, Keeper of the Daily Hotness
Past Roles:	Columnist (X Music News, Jesus And Hanks Front Porch, Ask 411 Music)
Other credits:
Quote:	50 Cent looks like his mom loves him. :)
History:	Grew up in white trash, WV (and loved it). Started writing for 411 in 11/02 as a CD reviewer. Got my own column in 5/03, covering all things Christian and country music related. Made a lot of friends. Took over Ask 411 Music 5/05. Kickin ass ever since.

Blog

And we're rolling... - 08.23.2006

No one reads this. I have no doubt about that. But sometimes I click on "The 411" to link my older articles and it is bugging the shit out of me that my last post was titled "Just AND Update" instead of "Just AN Update", so I thought I'd bury it down a bit with this Mitch Michaels update.

The LeToya review earlier this month marked my 50th review in the last 6 months. Think I can hit 100 by the end of the year? We'll see. Do I kick more ass than any other 411 writer? Yes, that has been mathematically proven.

I finished up the final episode of "The X-Files" the other day. I still have the 2 discs of special features to go through, but it's still sad to see this era gone. For those wondering about Krychek, there wasn't much more to him. He was controlling Skinner when Mulder was returned from his abduction in Season 8 and then offered a cure for Mulder in exchange for the life of Scully's baby. That didn't sit very well with all involved, and Skinner eventually shot the bastard in the head.

Krychek showed up one more time in "The Truth", the final episode, as a ghost and he helped guide Mulder during his time locked up in the military prison. Why he would fight for Mulder as a ghost is a little confusing to me, but I think he had a soft spot for the big lug after he took out CSM.

What else is going on? Well, "King Of Queens" is on hiatus until January, when it returns for its final half-season. I was so sure that the season finale would be the end this year, but it got picked back up at the last minute. The show has definitely dropped in quality over the last year or two. Carrie and Doug seem to hate each other rather than have that underlying loving relationjship, and Jerry Stiller's Arthur is showing up less and less. Still, we'll always have the good times. Maybe with an extended break, the cast and crew will come up with a big bang for the final episodes.

Hmmm...is that misspell buried far enough down yet? No? Well, here's a preview of what's to come on the Mitch Michaels front here at 411:

New Ask 411 Music, hopefully by 9/1, but most likely 9/8, with lots more talk about punk, Bon Jovi and even some (fuck the) Beatles. Also, 411 Music has been cooking up a Top 100 albums feature for a while and I'll definitely be involved in that. And don't forget the monthly roundtable!

As far as reviews, we've got new ones by Nina Gordon, La Rocca, Kinnie Starr, Monsieur Leroc, The Grates, The Feeling, Ima Robot and A Shoreline Dream all coming up within the next month, as well as the Billboard #1's.

How's that for a fucking preview? Keep your eyes out, folks!

And we're rolling... - 04.14.2006

So, no, I'm not dead. I was pretty busy (and sick before that), so I got behind schedule. I got back on schedule with the news this week, though, and my new Queensryche review was posted today. Keep your eyes out for reviews of Prince and The Flaming Lips coming up early next week.

I'm also hard at work on reviews for recent #1s by T.I. and Rascal Flatts, as well as the new DBT CD due out next Tuesday. So I'm plenty busy.

Also, Ask 411 Music has been on hiatus for a short period, but since I only post it every two weeks, I only missed one post! Hopefully there'll be a new edition by the end of April. I currently have questions on rap vs. hip hop and Michael Jackson's Beatles stake, as well as mini reviews for albums by Alan Jackson, Rob Zombie, Shooter Jennings, Radney Foster and Hayseed Dixie, DVDs by Foo Fighters and Lucero, as well as an upcoming Lucero concert in DC. Not to mention a packed shuffle featuring Ryan Adams, This Holiday Life, KJ-52, Uncle Tupelo, Wilco and more Hayseed Dixie.

So how's that for a fucking preview? Stick around folks.

And we're rolling... - 03.28.2006

This year, The Big Show & Kane will team together to defend their World Tag Team Titles against Chris Masters & Carlito. At Wrestlemania X-Seven, however, the two found themselves fighting each other as part of a Triple Threat Hardcore Title match (with Raven). It's not so uncommon for men to team at one Wrestlemania and find themselves on the opposite side of the ring in others. Here's a list of other such instances (not counting Battle Royals):

Akeem & The Big Boss Man:
The Twin Towers took out The Rockers at Wrestlemania V, but by Wrestlemania VI, the team had imploded. Boss Man took out Akeem in under 2 minutes. Boss Man went on to Wrestlemania VII to compete for Mr. Perfect's Intercontinental Title, while Akeem wasn't seen again until Wrestlemania X-Seven (as One Man Gang)

Owen Hart & Yokozuna:
At Wrestlemania XI, Owen Hart promised a mystery partner for his WWF Tag Team Title Match with champions The Smokin' Gunns. He delivered the 500 pound Yokozuna. However, at Wrestlemania XII, the two found themselves on opposite sides of a 6-Man Tag Team match as Owen and his new partner The British Bulldog teamed with Vader to take on Yoko, Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Ahmed Johnson.

Owen Hart/The British Bulldog & Vader:
As stated above, the team of Owen & The Bulldog teamed with Vader in a 6-Man Tag Match at Wrestlemania XII. At Wrestlemania 13, the pair wound up defending their World Tag Team Titles against Vader and his new partner Mankind. The teams fought to a double count-out.

Bull Buchanan & The Godfather:
At Wrestlemania 2000, Bull Buchanan & The Big Boss Man opened the show in a tag match against The Godfather & D'Lo Brown. By Wrestlemania X-Seven, the fun-loving Godfather had had a change of heart and joined the straight-laced Right To Censor faction, which was led by Steven Richards and included members Val Venis, Ivory & Buchanan. At 'Mania, Venis, Buchanan & the newly christened Goodfather teamed to take on Tazz & The Acolytes.

The Rock & Mick Foley:
Wrestlemania 2000 was headlined by 'Mania's first ever WWF Title Fatal Four Way Match. Each member of the McMahon family brought in their own superstar to compete for the title. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley was in the corner of her husband, the champion Triple H. Shane McMahon was backing The Big Show. Vince McMahon found himself on the side of fan favorite The Rock. When it came time for Linda McMahon to throw her hat in the ring, she contacted Mick Foley, who had recently been retired in a match with Triple H at The Royal Rumble, for one more big match. Both men were eliminted from the match by The Game. Four years later, at Wrestlemania XX, Mick Foley was at odds with newcomer Randy Orton, a member of Triple H's stable Evolution. Foley brought in his old friend The Rock to team against the combination of Orton, Batista and Ric Flair in a 3-On-2 Handicap Match.

Edge & Christian:
At Wrestlemania 2000, Edge & Christian won the World Tag Team Titles in a brutal Tables & Chairs Triple Threat Match against The Hardy Boyz and The Dudley Boyz. At Wrestlemania X-Seven, they did it again in TLC II. At Wrestlemania 21, however, both men found themselves competing in the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match, a 6-man barnburner that also featured Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin and Kane. Edge walkedd out with a guaranteed title shot that night, while Christian walked out of the company a few months after.

And we're rolling... - 03.28.2006

WRESTLEMANIA 22 CARD

WWE TITLE TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
Kurt Angle ©
(3-3)
…debuted at Wrestlemania 2000 in an Intercontinental/European Title 2-Falls Triple Threat Match vs. Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho …main evented Wrestlemania XIX…
0-3 in Wrestlemania title matches…defeated Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Randy Orton
(1-1)
…debuted at Wrestlemania XX in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match with “Nature Boy” Ric Flair & Batista (Evolution) vs. The Rock & Mick Foley where he scored the pin on Foley...
lost to The Undertaker in a “Legend Vs. Legend Killer” Match at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Rey Mysterio
(1-2)
…debuted at Wrestlemania XIX in a WWE Cruiserweight Title “Cruiserweight Open” Match where he was the final man pinned…0-2 in Wrestlemania Title Matches…
defeated Eddie Guerrero at Wrestlemania 21

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
John Cena ©
(2-0)
…debuted at Wrestlemania XX in a US Title victory over The Big Show…
defeated John Bradshaw Layfield for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Triple H
(5-5)
…debuted at Wrestlemania XII in a minute and a half loss to The Ultimate Warrior…main evented Wrestlemania 2000, X-8, XX and 21…has competed in a Wrestlemania WWE/World Heavyweight Title Match for the last 5 years…lost to Batista in a World Heavyweight Title Match at Wrestlemania 21…has lost his last 2 Wrestlemania matches

NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH
Shawn Michaels
(4-8)
…debuted at Wrestlemania V with Marty Jannetty (The Rockers) vs. Big Boss Man & Akeem (The Twin Towers)…defeated Bret “The Hitman” Hart in a 60-Minute Ironman Match for the WWF Title at Wrestlemania XII…main evented Wrestlemania XII, XIV and XX...
has lost his last two Wrestlemania matches
Vs.
Vince McMahon
(0-2)
…founder of Wrestlemania…announcer at several of the earliest Wrestlemanias…
made his in-ring Wrestlemania debut vs. Shane McMahon in a Street Fight at Wrestlemania X-Seven

MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
Shelton Benjamin
(1-2)
…debuted at Wrestlemania XIX with Charlie Haas (Team Angle) in a WWE Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match win over Eddie & Chavo Guerrero (Los Guerreros) and Chris Benoit & Rhyno…
competed in the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania 21 against Edge, Chris Benoit, Christian, Chris Jericho and Kane
Vs.
Rob Van Dam
(2-0)
debuted at Wrestlemania XIX in an Intercontinental Title Match victory over William Regal…teamed with Booker T to win a World Tag Team Title Fatal Four Way Match over Renee Dupree & Rob Conway (La Resistance), Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade and Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley (The Dudley Boyz)
Vs.
“Nature Boy” Ric Flair
(1-2)
…debuted at Wrestlemania VIII in a WWF Title loss to “Macho Man” Randy Savage as part of the double main event…teamed with Randy Orton & Batista (Evolution) to defeat The Rock & Mick Foley in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match at Wrestlemania XX
Vs.
Fit Finlay
(0-0)
…making his Wrestlemania debut
Vs.
Matt Hardy
(1-3)
…made his Wrestlemania debut with Jeff Hardy (The Hardy Boyz) in a World Tag Team Title Tables & Chairs Triple Threat Match against Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley (The Dudley Boyz) and Edge & Christian at Wrestlemania 2000…wrestled with the same competitors in the infamous World Tag Team Title TLC II Match at Wrestlemania X-Seven…this is his first Wrestlemania appearance in three years
Vs.
Bobby Lashley
(0-0)
…making his Wrestlemania debut

CASKET MATCH
The Undertaker
(13-0)
…best Wrestlemania record of any WWE Superstar past or present…main evented Wrestlemania 13 in a WWF Title win of Sycho Sid…of this year’s participants, has defeated Triple H, Randy Orton, Vince McMahon, Ric Flair, Kane & The Big Show at past Wrestlemanias…though he has competed in Hell In A Cell Matches, No-DQ Matches and Handicap Matches, this is his first Wrestlemania casket match…defeated Orton in a “Legend Vs. Legend Killer” match at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Mark Henry
(0-1)
…this is his first Wrestlemania match since Wrestlemania XIV, where he teamed with D’Lo Brown in a Tag Team Battle Royal that was won by Hawk & Animal (The Legion Of Doom)

HARDCORE MATCH
Edge
(4-0)
…made his Wrestlemania debut with Christian in a World Tag Team Title Tables & Chairs Triple Threat Match victory Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley (The Dudley Boyz) and Matt & Jeff Hardy (The Hardy Boyz) at Wrestlemania 2000…defeated the same competitors in the infamous World Tag Team Title TLC II Match at Wrestlemania X-Seven…won the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match over Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Christian, Chris Jericho and Kane at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Mick Foley
(1-2-1)
…made his Wrestlemania debut at Wrestlemania 13 in a World Tag Team Title Match with Vader against champions Owen Hart & The British Bulldog that ended in a double count-out…main evented Wrestlemania 2000 in a WWF Title Fatal Four Way match against Triple H, The Rock and The Big Show

UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH
Chris Benoit ©
(2-3)
…made his Wrestlemania debut at Wrestlemania 2000 where he won the Intercontinental Title in the first fall of a Intercontinental/European Title 2-Fall Triple Threat Match against Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho…main evented Wrestlemania XX in a World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match victory over Triple H and Shawn Michaels…competed in the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match with Edge, Christian, Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin and Kane at Wrestlemania 21…this is only his second ever Wrestlemania singles match
Vs.
John Bradshaw Layfield
(1-6)
…made his Wrestlemania debut at Wrestlemania 13 with Barry Windham (The New Blackjacks) in a Fatal Four Way Tag Team Match against Mosh & Thrasher (The Headbangers), Henry & Phineas Godwinn (The Godwinns) and Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon (Furnas & Lafon)…scored his only win in a 6-Man Tag Team Match at Wrestlemania 2000 with Faarooq & Tazz over Bull Buchanan, The Goodfather & Val Venis (Right To Censor)…0-4 in Wrestlemania title matches…lost a WWE Title Match to John Cena at Wrestlemania 21…this is only his second ever Wrestlemania singles match

WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
The Big Show & Kane ©
(0-6)/(3-3)
The Big Show: made his Wrestlemania debut against Mankind at Wrestlemania XV in a match where the winner would serve as the special referee in the main event…0-3 in Wrestlemania title matches…
lost a Sumo Match to Akebono at Wrestlemania 21...
Kane: made his Wrestlemania debut at Wrestlemania XIV in a match against the Undertaker…lost to the Undertaker again at Wrestlemania XX…Won the Hardcore Title in a Hardcore Triple Threat Match against The Big Show and Raven at Wrestlemania X-Seven… competed in the first ever Money In The Bank Ladder Match with Edge, Christian, Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin and Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Chris Masters & Carlito
(0-0)/(0-0)
…both are making their in-ring Wrestlemania debuts

WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
Trish Stratus ©
(2-1)
…made her debut at Wrestlemania 2000 as the manager for Test & Albert (T&A)…made her in-ring debut at Wrestlemania XIX in WWE Women’s Title Triple Threat Match against Jazz and Lita…defeated Christy Hemme in a WWE Women’s Title Match at Wrestlemania 21
Vs.
Mickie James
(0-0)
…making her Wrestlemania debut

2-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH
Booker T & Sharmell
(1-2)/(0-0)
Booker T: made his debut at Wrestlemania XIX in a match with Edge…faced Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title at Wrestlemania XIX…teamed with Rob Van Dam to win a World Tag Team Title Fatal Four Way Match over Renee Dupree & Rob Conway (La Resistance), Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade and Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley (The Dudley Boyz) at Wrestlemania XX…
Sharmell: making her Wrestlemania debut
Vs.
The Boogeyman
(0-0)
…making his Wrestlemania debut

PLAYBOY PILLOW FIGHT
Torrie Wilson
(1-0-1)
…made her debut at Wrestlemania XIX in a Cat Fight with Stacy Keibler and The Miller Lite Cat Fight Girls…teamed with Sable to defeat Stacy Keibler & Miss Jackie in a Playboy Evening Gown Match at Wrestlemania XX…two-time Playboy cover girl
Vs.
Candice Michelle
(0-1)
…making her Wrestlemania debut…current Playboy cover girl

And we're rolling... - 03.27.2006

OK, so two of my favorite punk/metal bands, or any bands for that matter, are the closely related Misfits and Danzig. I think the early Misfits stuff with Glenn Danzig and the later stuff with Michale Graves is the fucking tops. And I think Danzig put out some of the best metal of the 90's. Today, well, who the fuck knows who are even IN these bands? The line-up seems to change minute to minute. I think The Misfits should definitely hang it up or at least find a new vocalist. Danzig, well, they can make good stuff now and then. But the real fight between the two I want to discuss isn't who is better, musically, it's who the fuck has had the most members?

I'm calling members anyone who has recorded or toured with the band as an "official member":

DANZIG
------
vocalists: 1
Glenn Danzig: March 1987 - present

bassists: 5
Eerie Von: March 1987 - July 1995
Josh Lazie: June 1996 - March 1997, May 1998 - March 2000
Rob Nicholon: September 1997 - April 1998
Howie Pyro: March 2000 - February 2003
Jerry Montano: March 2003 - present

guitarists: 7
John Christ: March 1987 - July 1995
Mark Chaussee: June 1996 - September 1996
Tommy Victor: September 1996 - March 1997, March 2003 - August 2005
Dave Kushner: September 1997 - November 1997
Jeff Chambers: April 1998 - July 1999
Todd Youth: September 1999 - February 2003
Joe Fraulob: September 2005 - present

drummers: 5
Chuck Biscuits: March 1987 - August 1994
Joey Castillo: September 1994 - August 2002
Charlee X: October 2002 - November 2002
Johnny Kelly: Novemeber 2002 - December 2003, December 2004 - present
Bevan Davies: January 2004 - December 2004

That's a total of 18 different members for Danzig, a 4-piece band, over 19 years. But how about the Misfits?

MISFITS
-------
vocalists: 5
Glenn Danzig: January 1977 - October 1983
Michale Graves: October 1995 - May 1998, August 1998 - October 2000
Myke Hideous: May 1998 - August 1998
Jerry Only: October 2000 - present
Dez Cadena: April 2001 - present

bassists: 2
Diane DiPiaza: February 1977 - March 1977
Jerry Only: March 1977 - October 1983, January 1995 - present

guitarists: 6
Jimmy Battle: February 1977 - March 1977
Franche Coma: October 1977 - October 1978
Rick Riley: October 1978 - October 1978
Bobby Steele: November 1978 - October 1980
Doyle: October 1980 - October 1983, January 1995 - 2002
Dez Cadena: April 2001 - present

drummers: 9
Manny: February 1977 - December 1977
Mr. Jim: December 1977 - October 1978
Joey Image: November 1978 - December 1979
Arthur Googy: April 1980 - April 1982
Todd Swalla: June 1982 - June 1982, October 1983 - October 1983
Robo: July 1982 - August 1983, April 2001 - 2002, 2005 - present
Brian Damage: October 1983 - October 1983
Dr. Chud: October 1995 - October 2000
Marky Ramone: April 2001 - April 2005

That gives the Misfits the slight edge over Danzig, with 20 different members over 29 years. Of course, the band was inactive from 1983 to 1995, so the 28 different line-up changes in 17 active years defininitely beats Danzig's 21 line-up changes in 19 years.

The most unstable job to have? Misfits drummer, a position that, on average, changes every year and half.

And we're rolling... - 03.02.2006

OK, so I'm back with another edition of TBLOA, and once again, it involves wrestling fans (something tells me I could probably do another 100 on this sub-group).

I was at the SmackDown!/RAW Super Show taping in DC this Monday. It was a decent show, but honestly, after going to a few, I can say, if I'm not front row, I'd rather be watching it at home. For one thing, there was no ramp, so I totally missed the entrances (my tickets were floor, fifth row back, just like in Richmond a couple years ago), and for another thing, floor tickets suck ass. You can't see jack shit unless you're up front. Plus, my wife is pretty short, so I got that extra problem added onto it. You know, wrestling fans are idiots, I don't think anyone would debate that general rule. WWE live shows draw, what I believe is, the least common denominator. I mean, seriously, how do you make football fans look smart? Go to a wrestling show. But the lowest, the absolute lowest, well, let's address this to you: the biggest loser of all...

Hey guy. Wow, look at you! Floor seats at a WWE TV show. How cool is that? Look how close the ring is? What are you doing? Getting out your cell phone to call your friend? Well, OK, I guess I can understand that. Wow, these are good seats. I should know, I'm right behind you. Nice championship belt, man. Can't believe you put down $220 for it, though. Did Virginia raise the minimum wage? Why are you raising it up? Well, look at that, everyone can see you.

Hey, what's your sign say? Your name? Well, that's kind of stup...I mean, that's great, guy. Mine says "RVD", but your name is cool, too.

Hey, look, up on the Titan Tron! It turns out we're right across from the hard camera. Being so close to the ring, we'll be on TV half the night I bet. Yeah, stand up and wave! This is great! Hi Mom! Hi Dad! OK, let's sit down. What are you doing? Oh, hey, stand up again! Look, your on TV again. OK, time for the opening match...

Man, Big Show sure looks big in pers...hey, what are you doing? Why are you standing up again? Yeah, look, you're on TV again. I'll bet everyone's watching just to see you. Just kidding, it's cool guy. Ok, sit back down, seriously. Put down your belt, you didn't fucking win it. You bought it...

This match is grea...hey, guy, could you put down your sign. I think all your friends have seen your name on TV. You've called them on your cell phone a million times. Thanks. Wait, why are you standing up? Taker's got him in a headlock. Why are you posing? Oh, look you're on TV again..

Why aren't you looking at the match right in front of you? You're on the floor? Why are you looking at the TitanTron and waving? Oh, look, you're on TV again...

Man, time for the main event. What's happening? I can't see. SIT THE FUCK DOWN! SIT THE FUCK DOWN! Yes, you're on camera. It's been 4 fucking hours! You are the biggest fucking idiot I've ever met. I said you're the bigge...GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR CELL PHONE! SIT DOWN!!

I think you get the point. So to the three guys in Section 5, Row E, seats 17-19, (green shirt guy, jacket guy and faggot in the football jersey/turtleneck combo) here's a hearty "FUCK YOU" from everyone in Row F. Yes, you were on TV for 4 hours, but the sad thing is how you never got tired of it. And that makes you the biggest loser of all.

(And don't think I forgot about you, Elway jersey guy from Richmond in June '04. You're a motherfucker, too.)

And we're rolling... - 02.08.2006

So, here's a playlist of 40 of my favorite songs I made several months ago. I've inluded my favorite lyric from each. If you can put these songs into one place and actually listen to them, you have a nice 3 hours of great music that, I think, flows really well, the biggest point people miss in most playlists. Enjoy.

40 ABSOLUTE FAVORITES (2004)

Pillar - "Fireproof"
- "I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't be quiet.”

Rage Against The Machine - "Killing In The Name"
- "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.”

Misfits - "Dig Up Her Bones"
- "Point me to the sky above.
I can't get there on my own.”

Seven Mary Three – “Water’s Edge”
- "I didn’t do anything.”

Jars Of Clay – “Liquid”
- "He didn’t die for nothing.”

Counting Crows – “A Long December”
- "If you think that I could be forgiven,
I wish you would.”

The Bens – “Bruised”
- "The world won’t turn until something breaks.
Who will make the first last mistake?”

Oasis – “Wonderwall”
- "Because maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me.”

dc Talk – “Jesus Freak”
- "I don’t really care if they label me a Jesus freak,
There ain’t no disguising the truth.”

Foo Fighters – “Everlong”
- "The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve gotta promise not to stop when I say, When.”

The Black Crowes – “Bad Luck Blue Eyes Goodbye”
- “Sometimes a memory only sees what it wants to believe.”

AC/DC – “Rock ‘N’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution”
- "I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love.
You said you wanna rock ‘n’ roll instead.”

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”
- "Tired of screwin’ up, tired of goin’ down,
Tired of myself, tired of this town.”

Jet – “Cold Hard Bitch”
- "I don’t wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans, alright!”

The Allman Brothers Band – “Ain’t Wastin’ Time No More”
- "You don’t need no gypsy to tell you why
You can’t let one precious day slip by.”

Chris Knight – “A House And 90 Acres”
- "The children miss their mama. There ain’t nothin’ I can do.
If she was all I had to worry ‘bout, well, I guess I’d miss her, too.”

Hank Williams, Jr. – “Whiskey Bent And Hell Bound”
- "I’ve got a good woman at home
Who thinks I do no wrong,
But sometimes, Lord, she ain’t always around.”

Johnny Cash – “Hurt”
- "Everyone I know goes away in the end.”

The Cross Movement – “Cry No More”
- "No more turnin’ on your TV,
Hearin’ kids say, For the price of coffee you could feed me.”

Eagles – “One Of These Nights”
- "You’ve got your demons, you’ve got desires,
But I got a few of my own.”

The Jimi Hendrix Exprerience – “Little Wing”
- "It’s alright, she says, it’s alright.
Take anything you want from me. Anything.”

Eric Clapton – “Five Long Years”
- "Have you ever been mistreated? You know just what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – “Have Love Will Travel”
- "They love it like you love Jesus.
It does the same thing for their souls.”

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – “Red Right Hand”
- "You’re one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan”

Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Scar Tissue”
- "I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl.”

The Kicks – “What Do I Have To Do?”
- "Who do I have to kill to make you feel this way?”

Everclear – “Santa Monica”
- "I don’t wanna be your fallback crutch anymore.”

Radney Foster with Abra Moore – “I’m In”
- "I’ll breathe each breath you breathe I can
Pour out everything I am.”

Ray Charles – “What’d I Say”
- "Tell your mama, tell your pa
I’m gonna send you back to Arkansas.”

Bob Dylan – “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright”
- "I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul.”

Ryan Adams – “Oh My Sweet Carolina”
- "All the sweetest winds, they blow across the south.”

Uncle Tupelo – “Effigy”
- "The silent majority wasn’t keeping quiet anymore.”

Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble – “Dirty Pool”
- “I won’t be the one to pay for your mistake.”

Third Day – “Creed”
- “It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man.”

Tenacious D – “Tribute”
- “He asked us, Be you angels?
And we said, Nay, we are but men.”

Weezer – “Say It Ain’t So”
- “Say it ain’t so – your drug is a heartbreaker.”

Everclear – “My Sexual Life”
- “You always say you want a simple life.
Hearing you talk just makes me tired.”

Wilco – “Blue Eyed Soul”
- “Can you let it move without holding back?”

Tom Petty – “Crawling Back To You”
- “I’m so tired of being tired, sure as night will follow day
Most things I worry ‘bout never happen anyway.”

Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Free Bird”
- “If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”

And we're rolling... - 01.31.2006

You know who are the biggest losers of all? People who try to "get themselves over" in their WWE live reports. How fucking annoying is that, seriously? "Chris Benoit pinned Lashley after a diving headbutt. Decent TV match. Lashley was over in front of his hometown crowd." How hard is that? Do I really need inside jokes and all the random bitching about WWE's "current product" (which is more mind-numbing to hear than when someone says "the current administration").

And how retarded do these assholes have to be to NOT be able to score themselves a wrestling column? Just ask Csonka or somebody and I'm sure 411 will give you one if you want people to think you're so funny and inside. I'm pretty sure all you have to do is be able to write a few sentence, link better columns, and show up every month or so. I don't think we even have a piss test!

So anyway, fuck the guy who did the SD! spoilers this week. He's one of the biggest losers of all.

And we're rolling... - 01.18.2006

And I told you this stuff would be random. I wrote this up a few months ago, and I guarantee you, you won't find this information all gathered into one place (Krycek-specific) anywhere else on the net.

I love "The X-Files". It's without a doubt my favorite show of all-time. Around Easter of 2004, when the prices were marked down from $150 to $80, I picked up "The X-Files: The Complete First Season" and began an ambitious journey that I'm still continuing today. That quest was to buy and watch every episode of "X-Files" and its two sister series, "Millennium" and "The Lone Gunmen". And I don't mean burn through them in huge 10-hour marathons. I mean really watch them, savor them, understand the shows' entire mythology. And in doing so, I've discovered there was a lot more to Chris Carter's shows that made them great than even what we picked up on when they were airing.

Anyway, I'm up to Season 8 now (finished with the "Millennium" series and yet to watch "The Lone Gunmen", as it was aired simultaneously to Season 8) and Fox Mulder's getting ready to be returned from his abduction (Episode 14: This Is Not Happening).

The show has a VERY intricate overarcing mythology, and a lot of people said that it was impossible to understand. I'm here to tell you it is absolutely not. It's only impossible if you're a moron who doesn't pay attention. The biggest deterent to understanding the "X-Files" mythology was that you had to pay attention for nine years!

Now, my point. Over those 9 years, one of the most interesting (and at times confusing) characters was Alex Krycek, who began as an FBI agent partner of Mulder and eventually morphed into a one-armed spy for the Russian Syndicate. Of all the characters on the show, Krycek was both the easiest and hardest to understand. He seemingly at one point or another played for all sides of the intergalactic conspiracy, but in reality, he was always out for one person: Alex Krycek. Fuck bettering mankind, the truth or the conspiracy. There was money to be made and power to be held.

So, here's a brief hisory of Krycek, up to, but not including, Season 8:

* Special Agent Alex Krycek was first introduced in the Season 2 episode "Sleepless", assigned by A.D. Skinner to be Mulder's partner after his original partner, Dana Scully, is abducted. Mulder spent most of their time together trying to ditch Krycek, but wasn't initially distrustful of him. He was just a pain in the ass as far as Mulder was concerned. All was not as it seemed, though, as it turns out Krycek was reporting Mulder's actions back to the Cigarette Smoking Man.

* In the Season 2 episode "Ascension", Mulder begins to suspect Krycek may be up to no good, but is too preoccupied with finding Scully to lay the wammy on him. Krycek commits his first aired murder here, as he offs multiple abductee and all-around lunatic Duane Berry to keep him from talking. This is the last we see of Krycek in an FBI roll, as he disappears from Mulder's life for a while.

* Krycek makes a big return in the Season 2 finale "Anasazi", when he hides in Mulder's dad Bill's shower and kills him while Mulder is in the house. Pretty ballsy. Mulder runs him down, but Scully of all people keeps Krycek alive by talking sense into Mulder.

* He shows up again in the Season 3 episode "The Blessing Way", accompanying the assassin Luis Cardinal as they head to Scully's apartment. Carndinal fucks up and kills Scully's sister Melissa instead.

---As you can see, at this point, it's easy to write Krycek off as nothing more than a hired assassin. In a way he was, but you'll find he had a much bigger agenda.

* In the Season 3 episode "Paper Clip", Krycek is back with his buddy Cardinal, this time retrieving a DAT tape that contains MJ files of the US government's complete secret documentation on UFOs. Cardinal is apparently under orders to kill Krycek and destroy the DAT tape, but Krycek escapes an exploding car with the tape, and lives to phone Cigarette Smoking Man and tell him to go fuck himself.

* He shows up again in the Season 3 episode "Piper Maru" and we find out he's been making a good living selling US government secrets from the DAT tape to foreign governments. Unfortunately, he pissed off the French government and they now want him dead. Mulder gets to him first and escorts him back to Washington, but Krycek makes a pitstop in an airport bathroom and winds up posessed by the Black Oil. Definitely makes you think about holding it till you get to the hotel.

* In part two of the above episode ("Apocrypha"), Krycek, under possession by the Black Oil, returns the DAT tape to the Cigarette Smoking Man in exchange for a visit to a missile silo that houses a secret crashed UFO. The Syndicate isn't so happy about finding Krycek alive and is even more displeased to find that he's their information leak. His punishment? Imprisonment in the missile silo. Fortunately, the Black Oil leaves his body at this time for the comfy quarters of the downed UFO. Krycek's pretty much left up shit creek, but he somehow gets out.

* Come Season 4, in the episode "Tunguska", Krycek has the balls to contact Mulder and ask for help in bringing down the Syndicate's big operation, a Black Oil smuggling ring used to find a vaccine by experimenting on humans. What Mulder doesn't know, however, is that Krycek has been working for the Russian Syndicate all along, meaning he's been double crossing just about everyone. The Russian Syndicate wants to stop the US from finding a vaccine before they do, I guess. Mulder winds up in a Tunguskan prison where inmates are experimented on by injection of the Black Oil.

* In the second part of that episode ("Terma"), he chases an escaped Mulder from the prison but winds up being taken in by a group of refugees. Under his protest, the helpful refugees cut off Krycek's arm to prevent the prison camp from performing tests on him. In their defense, they had cut their own arms off, too. Krycek goes by the name "Arntzen" in this episode.

* In the Season 5 episode "Patient X", Krycek acquires a survivor of a recent attack by the Faceless Rebels who has also been infected with the Black Oil. Partnered with another spy, Marita Covarrubius, his plan is to take the survivor to the Syndicate in exchange for their vaccine research. Unfortunately, Marita fucks him over and steals their patient.

* In the second part of that episode, "The Red & The Black", Krycek has a change of heart and becomes allies with Syndicate leader the Well Manicured Man. Krycek turns over the Russian vaccine to the Syndicate and warns Mulder that the Faceless Rebels are the earth's key to resistance against colonization.

* In the Season 5 finale, Krycek hunts down Cigarette Smoking Man, who has been in seclusion since his apparent assassination, and returns him to the Syndicate. All is forgiven.

* In the Season 6 episode "S.R. 819", Krycek makes a move that will later prove to be his undoing, as he poisons A.D. Skinner with some kind of nanotechnology. With Krycek's hand on a controller that could kill Skinner in an instant, Skinner becomes an unwilling henchman. In this episode, Krycek uses his control over Skinner to help protect a Senate resolution that would legalize the export of theoretical medical technology to Third World countries. We can assume this has something to do with the ongoing Black Oil smuggling ring. We also find out that Krycek is working with Mulder's old supporter Senator Matheson.

* In the Season 6 episode "Two Fathers", Krycek goes back to his old assasin ways, as he accompanies Cigarette Smoking Man's son, Agent Jeffery Spender, on a mission to kill one of the Faceless Rebels. Spender fucks it up, though, and Krycek has to kill it himself. There's an interesting scene in this episode where Krycek is more or less rejected by the Cigarette Smoking Man, who he has grown to see as a father figure. It's sad, because it really leads to a destructive lack of focus by Krycek.

* In the second part of that episode, "One Son", Krycek is assigned to go to Ft. Marlene and steal a stored alien fetus, but gets beaten to the punch by the Faceless Rebels. He runs into Marita at the base, who wound up getting all fucked up by Black Oil tests, but leaves her and Spender when he sees the shit about to hit the fan in the battle between the Syndicate and the Faceless Rebels.

* In the Season 6 finale, "Biogenesis", Krycek uses his control over Skinner to have the A.D. spy on Mulder and Scully's investigation into The Artifact, a fragment from an extraterrestrial craft uncovered on the Ivory Coast that has unexplainable powers.

* In the Season 7 episode "Amor Fati", Krycek attacks Skinner after he deviates from his spying wishes, but does not kill him. He does kill Kritschgau, though, a government worker who has been helping Mulder and Skinner in the Artifact investigation.

* In the Season 7 finale "Requiem", we find out that Cigarette Smoking Man sent Krycek to a Tunisian prison after Krycek was trying to steal information from him. Cigarette Smoking Man is dying of lung cancer now, and wants to restart The Project (the search for a vaccine from the Black Oil in hopes of resisting alien colonization) after the original Syndicate was wiped out by the Faceless Rebels. CSM sends our old friend Marita to bust Krycek out, and then sends Krycek to Oregon to retrieve a recently downed UFO before the military, aliens, or Mulder and Scully have a chance to fund it. In Oregon, Krycek decides "fuck CSM, the cryptic bastard", and leads Mulder to the crash site instead. Krycek and Marita return to CSM's apartment, and attempt to kill him by pushing his wheelchair down a flight of stairs. He really should've checked to see if he was breathing before he left though.

And that's the last we saw of Krycek until 2001, but I know he'll show up a couple more times in Season 8 (and not to give anything away, but he shows up as a ghost in Season 9).

I hope you enjoyed that little walk down memory lane, and if you're an X-Files fan like me, I'm sure you did.

And we're rolling... - 01.18.2006

What the fuck? Well, I don't know. Am I a "blog" kind of person? That question came to me today and, after pondering for a while, I guess I am. I don't really care if anybody reads this, but I'm just nutty and self-important enough to a) want to write down my thoughts on things, and b) believe they matter enough to be preserved.

In all seriousness, I get bored a lot of times and start researching the weirdest shit or making these insane lists. Usually it's just some text file or spreadsheet I never even save, so why not generate a couple hits here and there for 411 out of it?

Anyway, my blog will be just a place for me to talk about shit other than music (though I'm sure music will still show up a bunch), and also be a place where you can maybe uncover a few useless facts, statistics or observations. All of this material will be completely random, but I guarantee you there will be a lot about wrestling and I WILL talk about "The King Of Queens". I fucking love that show and no one ever covers it.

I think it's sad that the traditional sitcom has "percievably" went the way of the dinosaur when, in reality, sitcoms still generate great ratings, if not critical praise. I love sitcoms and I know tons of other Americans do, too. And I think too many TV elitists have the view that sitcoms are either a thing of the past or just "low brow". Fuck "Arrested Development", if it don't have a laugh-track, I ain't interested. Well, except for "My Name Is Earl". That's a funny show, too. Do they even call "Earl" a sitcom, though? Are laugh-tracks necessary for a sitcom classification? Fucking "Malcolm In The Middle" just muddied everything.

Anyway, so there you go. An intro to the Mitch Michaels blog. Hopefully I'll post something sometime that makes reading worthwhile.

-Mitch

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