// Matt Damon, Paul Greengrass Returning to Bourne Franchise
// Aubrey O'Day Sticks Out Bikini Butt In New Instagram Pic
// Click HERE to Join 411ís LIVE WWE Raw Coverage!
// Joe Rogan May Have Just Called You All a Bunch of Racists
// Acheivement List for WWE 2K15 Leaks


411mania RSS Feeds

Follow 411mania on Twitter!

Add 411 On Facebook

411mania » The 411 » Jeremy Thomas
Name:Jeremy Thomas
Current Roles:Film and DVD Reviewer, The Hush-Hush News Report, The Movie Zone Roundtable, The 4 R's of Raw & SmackDown, Wrestling Fact or Fiction, TNA Monthly Roundtable and Wrestler of the Week Organizer
Past Roles:Multi-Time Participant in Movies and Wrestling Fact or Fiction; Guest Host for 411 Movie Fact or Fiction for August 2008
Other credits:Contributer to the Monthly Movie Roundtable, WWE PPV Roundtables, the Movie & Wrestling Zone Top 5's, and The Watcher Chronicles and Angel Investigated
Quote:"Yeah. That makes sense."
History:Written by the victors
Movie Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street - 05.05.2010

When I was at work the day after I saw A Nightmare on Elm Street, one of my co-workers asked me how it was. My response was that it looked kinda like a duck, and it quacked like a duck (if that duck's amp was set to 11), but it was no freakin' duck.

What I mean by that is that this is a film that does exactly what Platinum Dunes does best. They can copy the form of a film, and they can throw in a whole crap load of jump scares to appeal to the modern horror crowd, but they don't know how to take a film and remake it into something scary and worthwhile.

We talked last week--and for years, really--about Platinum Dunes' legacy with horror remakes. They've remade The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a sequel, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher and Friday the 13th, and produced the original horror films The Unborn and the straight-to-video Horsemen. Outside of Amityville, none of them have been worth their salt and they've all followed the same formulaic problems.

You see that here with Elm Street. They know the story, they know what scenes in the original film are most well-received, and they know what elements made it work so well. But somehow, they are unable to translate the experience to the new film. I think that part of this is because the film has two separate goals. The first is to satisfy fans of the original by including elements they loved, and the second is to take it in a new direction.

The problem is that the original elements they included don't really work that well, and the new direction they took didn't work either. And that's sad because there was a lot of potential in the early moments and even in some of the later stuff, but it just doesn't translate as a whole.

Part of the problem is in the casting of the lead. Rooney Mara plays Nancy, and my immediate impression was that the casting director wanted Emily Blunt but couldn't get her because she was too old. Mara seems like Blunt's younger clone with about half the personality. She seems just bored throughout much of it.

I did enjoy some of the other kids, and they seemed to have it better including Thomas Dekker as Jesse and Katie Cassidy as Kris. Jackie Earle Haley plays Freddy of course, and he does what he can but he's working under more prohibitive make-up and more voice modulation than Robert Englund was.

Then, there's the back story. There was no need for this, and while I see what they were getting at it just doesn't work. The reason it doesn't work is because of all the plot holes. I have an list here of things that occurred to me.

Why do the parents erase all possible history of the kids going to school together, but Nancy's mother keep that photo with ALL the required evidence Nancy and Glen need?

How do the parents manage to get the preschool shut down after they kill Freddy and tell everyone he just ran away?

Why are the kids so god damned stupid? I mean, when Glen and Nancy stop off so Glen can get his anti-ADHD medication--which is something I enjoyed--why did Nancy decide to stay in the car? Seriously, I get that people are stupid in horror movies, but that's new levels of dumb.

Why do we need to have an entire subplot based on whether Freddy is innocent or not when we all know that he's not, and that ultimately this is just going to make the kids look that much stupider for going out into the middle of nowhere so they can be alone?

Now, like I said there's things I enjoyed. The opening murder was nicely done and I appreciated Freddy being creative and hiding his kill there as a suicide. I also very much liked the scene with Freddy and Nancy in the dream zone at the school. It was creepy in a very skeevy kind of way, but I didn't think it went over the top. But the rest of it is bathed in stupidity and a lack of creativity and I just didn't buy into it.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 10
full blog
WWE Promotes Steve Austin's Podcast on Raw (09.15.2014)
Though they got it wrong...
WSOF President Says Contracts Don't Include Out for UFC Signing (09.15.2014)
They're not a feeder promotion...
Eight Fights Added to Bellator 127 (09.15.2014)
The card is now complete...
Dave Jansen vs. Rick Hawn Set For Bellator 130 (09.15.2014)
A new lightweight fight...
WWE Grants $50,000 in Scholarships to Full Sail University (09.15.2014)
Helping out their NXT broadcast partner...
Opening Clip From WWE Raw (09.15.2014)
Cena confronts Paul Heyman...
Acheivement List for WWE 2K15 Leaks (09.15.2014)
See the full list...
Seven New Images Released for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season Premiere (09.15.2014)
Get some new looks at the episode...
Apple: Over 33 Million People Accessed U2's Songs of Innocence (09.15.2014)
Just in the first week...
KISS Raises $1 Million For Oregon Military Museum (09.15.2014)
Rock band raises money for the museum's renovation...
Rick Ross Releases New Music Video, Announces New Album (09.15.2014)
Hood Billionaire is on the way...
Official Plot Synopsis For The Avengers: Age of Ultron Released (09.15.2014)
Check out the latest plot summary for the film...
Scott Glenn to Play Matt Murdock's Mentor in Daredevil (09.15.2014)
Glenn to play Stick in the Marvel Netflix series...
Bungie Releases New Update For Destiny (09.15.2014)
It may require you to log out...
New NBA 2K15 Trailer Shows Off New 'What If' Challenges (09.15.2014)
An addition to MyTeam mode...
WWE Superstars Taping Results (SPOILERS) (09.15.2014)
See what was taped...
Two New Set Pics From Dean Ambrose's WWE Studios Film (09.15.2014)
Ambrose on the set of Lockdown...
Sony Rebooting I Know What You Did Last Summer (09.15.2014)
The slasher franchise is getting a new run...
Al Iaquinta's Finish Time For UFC Fight Night 50 Adjusted (09.15.2014)
By fifteen seconds...
The Flash Adds Another Cast Member From Original Series (09.15.2014)
Amanda Pays joining the show in the same role as she did before...
full archive

Copyright (c) 2011 411mania.com, LLC. All rights reserved.
Click here for our privacy policy. Please help us serve you better, fill out our survey.
Use of this site signifies your agreement to our terms of use.