| Blog |
And we're rolling... - 03.02.2008
I found this hilarious, not for the silly body text, but for the sponsorship links at the bottom.
you call me "redneck" ,"hillbilly", "slaker" , "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey", "Gringo" and you think it's OK.
...But If I were to call you coon, jiggaboo, jungle bunni, Kike, sand nigger, rag head, Towelhead, WOP, Camel Jockey, Gook, nigger, slant eyes or Chink you call me a racist.
-You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
-You have the United Negro College Fund.
-You have Martin Luther King Day.
-You have Black History Month.
-You have Cesar Chavez Day.
-You have Yom Hashoah
-You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
-You have the NAACP.
-You have BET.
-If we had WET(white entertainment television) ...we'd be racist.
-If we had a White Pride Day... you would call us racist.
-If we had white history month... we'd be racist.
-If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives... we'd be racist.
-If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships...you know we'd be racist.
-In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights...you would call us racist.
-Did you know that some high school students decided to make a club for only the white students because the other ethnicities had them... they all got sent to court for being racist but the african-american, Latino, and Asia clubs were not even questioned.
-You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
I am white.
I am proud.
But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists?
Now watch, I'll be a racist for posting this
So what? no one will re post this for fear of being called racist
if you think its true re-post it saying "You call me racist"
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And we're rolling... - 01.18.2008
As some of you may have heard, Andrew "Test" Martin (aka the Punisher in TNA) retired last month. Because I liked his look and athleticism in 1999, I thought I'd do a little tribute to the guy that always seemed to get lost in the shuffle by recapping some of Test's best matches.
Love Her or Leave Her Greenwich Street Fight: Test vs. Shane McMahon.
If Test loses, he has to break up with Stephanie McMahon. If he wins, Stephanie breaks up with him anyway, bears Triple H's hellspawn, and books the WWE into the ground for several years. Come on, Shane! The Mean Street Posse comes out to take a seat at ringside. Does Pete Gas remind anyone else of Colt Cabana? Shane "heat machine" McMahon spears Test early and bumps around like a maniac. Test press slams Shane into the Posse, drawing a laugh from Stephanie, who is watching backstage. She wasn't as hot back then but was much cuter, kind of like the friend that you have your wingman talk to so you can talk to her hotter friend. The Posse helps Shane come back and passes him several foreign objects, including a picture of the Posse. Shane SMASHES it over Test's head and takes things back in. Shane tries a corkscrew splash, but it misses! Test gets a powerbomb, but the ref is distracted by Rodney. Test accidentally takes out the ref. The Posse attacks on the outside, and Shawn scares the crap out of everyone with an elbowdrop off the top that puts Test through the Spanish announce table! The Posse throws them both back in, and Shane gets two. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a road sign, giving Test a two. The crowd is starting to come unglued with every nearfall. The Posse tries to come back again, but Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco run down and take them out. Test boots a chair into Joey Abs face, leaving it one-on-one. Shane misses a charge and takes the Meltdown. Test finishes with an elbow drop three-quarters of the way across the ring! (12:13) Test and Stephanie celebrate, which looks so weird because Stephanie looks so happy and innocent. Anyway, this was a great match. A perfect mix of heavy booking with crazy amounts of effort and a satisfying storyline. A worthy MOTYC in a bad year for them. ****
And...
Well, I guess that's it really. Um, 8 years in the ring and *that's it*?!?
Wow. No wonder no one else did a tribute to him.
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And we're rolling... - 11.09.2007
Bryan Danielson (w/Dave Prazak & Mr. Milo Beasley) vs. Jay Lethal (05.27.06).
This is from Full Impact Pro. Danielson is the FIP Heavyweight Champion and your typical cowardly heel, quite a bit different from his character in ROH. Lethal is kind of like the Pez Whatley of FIP. Danielson starts slapping him around, so Lethal chases him out of the ring. Lethal hits a monkeyflip and moves in, but Danielson offers a handshake. Danielson charges right into a boot and gets Victory Rolled for two. Lethal goes up, but Danielson pulls a security guard in the way. He stops to argue with some 11 year-olds in the audience. Back in, Danielson drops Lethal's throat on the ropes. Lethal rolls to the floor where Milo Beasley hops out of his wheelchair and hits Lethal with a flying headbutt. Lenny Leonard asks a good question: how much could Prazak be paying Beasley if he's still homeless. Back in, Lethal sunset flips Danielson and pulls the tights down. Thankfully, Danielson has a second pair. Danielson stays on top with the snap suplex. Prazak is ready to pack it in once Danielson hits not one but TWO double ax-handles. Lethal nails him coming off the top for an unprecedented third double ax-handle. Lethal starts to get fired up, but Prazak trips him up. Lethal goes up and kicks Prazak off. That distraction allows Danielson to hit a superplex. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Danielson's Diving Headbutt misses. Lethal small packages him, but Prazak is up on the apron, distracting the referee. Milo Beasley sneaks in and rolls Lethal onto his back, giving Danielson the win at 21:21. This felt like an early 1990s match, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. For those who say Danielson and Lethal can't work a more "WWE" style, look here. **3/4
Top-of-the-Class Trophy, Four-Way Fray: Alex Payne vs. Mitch Franklin vs. Rhett Titus vs. Pelle Primeau.
I was surprised to find that these were not all the same guy changing costumes backstage like Jack Victory at a 1989 NWA PPV. Everyone goes after Pelle, but once Titus tries a cover, it breaks up the alliance. Mitch ranas Sugarfoot into the buckle. Pelle builds up a head of steam…and then stops right in front of the ropes…and then hits his somersault plancha. Okay, that could use some work, especially since he hit his head on the apron. He makes up for it with a SICK dropkick right to Alex Payne's face. Franklin finishes Payne with a variation of the Koji Clutch at 3:02. Titus comes in and NAILS Franklin in the face with a dropkick. Pelle tries to springboard in, but Titus dropkicks him off the ropes. Titus' frogsplash misses, and Franklin rolls him into a facebuster at 4:05. Franklin and Pelle go toe-to-toe, which is kind of like Elijah Wood and Sean Astin giving each other the stinkeye, but the thought was there. Pelle gets a nice roll-up for two. Franklin blocks a sunset flip with the Stampede counter, but Pelle kicks out and finishes with an Ace Crusher and a rollup at 5:40. Harmless way to get these guys out in front of a crowd. Titus appears to have "the look," but Pelle is a good wrestler. Unfortunately, he'll probably be relegated to the Spike Dudley role for the duration of his career. ** |
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And we're rolling... - 07.02.2007
CORRECTION: In the Reality Check article entitled Fear and Loathing in Atlanta, I erroneously reported that there was a possibility that Daniel Benoit's Fragile X syndrome may be a link to Chris Benoit's genetics. This is not possible according to the Fragile X Foundation because Fragile X is only reproduced through the mother's DNA (Hence, Fragile X and not Fragile Y). I regret the error. |
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And we're rolling... - 06.25.2007
I actually laughed out loud at the Hardy Boyz thing!
They really should put Mick in the inspector role this
time around, let him do well, then try to sell that
old Mick Foley P.I. series that was rumored years ago
to NBC or USA.
Can't agree on the Sensational Sherri thing. I think
WWE did the right thing with their tribute. Look,
they're wrestlers, and over the course of the summer,
probably two or three more former wrestlers will die
before Vince "comes back to life." It just seems to
happen. When people ask why I check 411 and MTV, a
lot of times I half-jokingly tell them it's to see who
died. It's not necessarily because of the alleged
lifestyle, either--it's just that there are a LOT of
retired wrestlers running around. Chances are and all
that. Meanwhile, this is still a TV show, and I've
never heard of another TV show discontinuing a death
angle just because another actor died in real life.
When Jerry Orbach died, did "Law & Order" hold off on
any brutal slayings for that week or month? And he
was still a cast member! No one expected them to do
that, and rightfully so.
Heck, Sensational Sherri's cause of death is still
under investigation, and yet you go and call your
recap the RAWtopsy?! Have you no class, sir?! : )
Honestly, a lot of columnists seem to run to this
reasoning, especially lately. This case is almost as
absurd as when another 411 writer recently said that
the HBK concussion angle was in poor taste in light of
CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI'S CONDITION! I mean, come on,
it's a TV show, and they need to be able to run
storylines without overly-sensitive viewers getting
their panties in a bunch.
As for your closing statement: great advice. I'd also
add that, in hindsight, the writers should have set up
more people to have a beef with McMahon in recent
weeks, providing more motives now. As it is, the only
active and significant wrestlers who might want to off
McMahon would be Lashley (for the
post-WM--ahem--backlash) and Cena, who called McMahon
on his certifiability a few weeks back, and was given
a crappy match as a result. That's about it, and so
if the culprit ends up being someone else, their
motive won't be very fun for the audience to have
pieced together. There won't be that A-HA! moment,
where we figure it out half a second before it's made
obvious to us.
Finally, I'd love to hear who you think the bomber is.
It would make the most sense if it was Lashley, which
is why it won't be him, and for good reason. My wet
dream would be if it was the New Breed, who, using the
Godfather's credo that the fish rots from the head
down, went about taking out the boss to better
facilitate their rise to the top. It would make
sense, and it would actually build up some new guys,
instead of adding another notch to Triple H's gun.
But realistically, it'll probably be a paranoid Vince
setting it up himself to see which of his demon spawn
would try to take over.
Thanks for another great recap!
Sam!
Well, Sam, another week will be in the books by the time this is posted. As far as the Sherri/Vince thing is concerned, I'm only stating what I would have done. Meehan mentioned something in the forums, which I'll try to paraphrase and broaden. Things that are offensive aren't inherently offensive. They're only offensive in the way we look at them, and, if enough people look at something and say, "That's offensive!" then it becomes offensive by convention. But that's all it is. Personally, I'm not offended, but I knew that people would be, and I don't begrudge them that. To each his/her own.
As for who did it...well, if the WWE's playing fairly with their clues -- and there's no guarantee that they are -- then the field of suspects is pretty slim. I'll be giving my investigative thoughts throughout the summer (or until the angle is over).
During the Orton/King Booker vs Lashley/Cena match. Lawler and Ross made the absolute dumbest statement, so far. They have 3 hours to make some more next week.
They made the comment that Lashley and Booker were locking up for the first time EVER!!!! I guess if it doesn't happen on Raw, it never happened.
See, now I was sure that they had met at some point, but since I couldn't remember specifically when, I didn't say anything about it. But No Mercy 2006 is just one example of where they did meet.
> So…here's what our special RAWtopsy investigative team has learned:
> Investigators believe it was triggered by a radio or cellular device, meaning it had to be someone inside the arena.
Or, maybe, someone watching the show live who saw Vince getting into the limo "live" - if it was cellphone detonated, it could have come from anywhere.
> The limo driver was conveniently away from the car but has an airtight alibi because of his phone records.
To reiterate: if it was cellphone detonated, it could have come from anywhere...
-- Don
In theory, yes. But the WWE announcers have already said that the cellphone signal came from less than 1600 yards away. Presumably, the difference would be that the a cellphone signal that went to a tower and then to the bomb would be traceable while you could set up a detonator to respond to a signal directly from the cellphone without ever reaching the tower. Voila. No traceability.
The other theory we came up with to explain it was that there was a cellular "signal" used, and that's what they meant to say.
"The Wilkes-Barre PD and the PBI would have jurisdiction…unless he's
with Homeland Security. You don't think…nah"
I got to thinking that it'd be interesting if it turned out to be
Hassan, heralding his return in a big way.
Then I realized how terrible that would be since there are real
car-bombings in Iraq.
...then I sadly realized Vince would go ahead and do it anyway.
On another topic, you mentioned you're a fiction writer and about
having your culprit already in place. I was wondering if you've watched Lost
and what you think about it. One of the creeping suspicions I've had is
that they don't really know where they're headed in the end. Even as someone
who only has an interest in the writing process I realize it's crucial to
have an end-game in mind pretty early.
What are your thoughts on that?
-RM
I actually have never seen Lost, although my brother is an addict. It's just one of those things where I want to get the DVDs, but then there's always something else I get first. It occurs to me that I almost never watch actual television, but I watch a lot of TV on DVD.
I have heard about some of the problems they had in Season 3, though, and it does sound EXACTLY like what happens when you're not sure where you're going. If you're a very, very talented writer, you can sometimes turn things around -- like Joss Whedon did when Buffy the Vampire Slayer actually got picked up, or David Chase when Nancy Marchand died and derailed the direction of The Sopranos. But then you're talking about two of the most heralded writers in Hollywood. It's always best to have a firm idea of where you're headed, but the willingness to adapt if it the characters tell you they want to go somewhere you didn't think of.
Who killed Kenny...um, I mean Mr. McMahon???
Here are my guesses:
*Colonel Mustard
*Johnathon Coachman
*Triple H
*Professor Plum
*Bobby Lashley
*Paul Heyman
*Hulk Hogan
*Mrs. Peacock
*Eric Bischoff
*Shane, Stephanie, and/or Linda McMahon
*Miss Scarlet and Mr. Green conspired to do it
If they play this out with some continuity, it's gonna be a fun summer!
~Brian~
(A regular reader of your articles)
Is it sad or funny that in every e-mail I get guessing who the culprit is, there's always some combination of Vince's own family mentioned?
I'll vote for funny.
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And we're rolling... - 06.11.2007
So, the series is over and, with all finales, there comes the eventual split over if it was disappointing or not.
It seems to be divided strictly along two camps: those who thought of the show as a Mafia drama (who hated it), and those who saw it as a character study of a man who just happened to be in the Mafia (who loved it). I fall into the latter group.
 Through the first two seasons, the show was supposed to be more about Tony's therapy and how he processes his guilt and grief in spite of his "job in waste management." **cough** After Livia's death, the show kind of meandered as she figured heavily into Tony's sociopathic behavior to begin with. After that, they had to focus on Janice as a surrogate, which wasn't as effective, but you go to war with the army you got.
So really, the show has been more about Tony's efforts to explain why he (and his son) are the way they are. He has no conscience. The only happiness he gets in life is from "the juice" the thrill of (pick one) sex, violence, the idea of getting caught.
Tony finally realized in the final two episodes what kind of person he is, and he accepted it. "I don't think I can help you," his pyschiatrist says after eight years of therapy. All she's done is allowed him to practice deceit for an hour a week. So it was there that Tony's attempts at understanding his sociopathic nature ended. He just accepted it. "My mudda was a borderline personality" he says in the finale (paraphrased from memory). "So what?"
And *that's* your real conclusion. He didn't change. His kids haven't changed. AJ is still a self-absorbed douchebag, just like his dad. Meadow is still in denial about the business and Italian-American involvment in it, although I would argue that she *has* changed, considering how hard she pushed Tony on the subject in Season One.
The idea was even brought up several seasons ago in "The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti." Wannabe-screenwriter Chris, who is suffering from depression of his own, wonders where his "arc" is because all characters in movies are supposed to go through arcs. "I got no arc either kid. I was born, grew up, did a few years in the army, a few more in the can, and here I am, a half a wiseguy," Paulie responds.
So the Sopranos finale was more than satisfactory to me. Tony accepted that he's just going to have to deal with some things - depression, indictments, hitmen, and the world went on around him.
But did he get whacked?
Who cares?
That's not the point of the series. If it was, Phil Leotardo would have been introduced in 1999 as an antagonist instead of 2004. The only two things that had been constants throughout were therapy and family, and those are the things that got closure in the final season. |
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And we're rolling... - 05.06.2007
Miscellanea:
The SD Breakdown was a little late for a couple of reasons. First is the severe weather you've probably been hearing about. No tornados, but there was a lot of hail damage to the roof, and you just know the insurance company is going to try to pass it off as "flood damage" or something.
Second…SPIDER-MAN! It was a little disappointing, but how could it not be given the hype? It's a little more cartoony than the previous entries, but I think the bigger problem is that Raimi was just spinning too many plates at once, and they all come crashing down on him. In short, there's just too much going on. The even bigger problem I had was the same I had with the series in general (and all comic book-based movies): you're taking a serial and turning into a self-contained feature. I've said it before, this really needs to be a series á la Smallville where it can delve into Peter's personal life without glossing over what makes him such a complex character. Raimi and McGuire try, but the medium is just too limited with only two hours to work with.
Plus, and I don't want to spend all day on Spider-man, the original Spidey stories were a product of political turmoil and cultural revolution. Mary Jane wasn't the sweet girl next door. Mary Jane was a skanky ho, and that's what attracted straight-laced Peter Parker to her in the first place. Gwen Stacy only won out because she was everything both sides of Peter needed – a strong personality to attract shy Parker, and a sense of vulnerability to attract that need to save people. Of course, we'd later find out that Mary Jane was quite a different kind of victim, but that was with a lot of retconning.
I only bring it up to show how hard it is to squeeze that kind of psychological depth into a movie, especially one that doesn't come from as turbulent a time a the late 1960s. Oh, and I once wrote a pop culture thesis on Peter Parker, and it seems a shame not to recycle.
For a good laugh, head over to our Wikipedia page and check out the talk section and marvel at each new and exciting hurdle 411 has to jump in order to have an entry there. See, you can't have just anybody showing up on Wikipedia. You have to be notable. So that means you have to show that other media types are talking about you. Well, that's simple enough. There was Matt Hardy's blog, so we know that he read 411 at one point. There was the article on the Metallica hoax. Maven's official site linked to the RAWtopsy at one point. Peter David mentioned one of our reviews. Kevin Smith linked to us. Stephanie Miller mentioned 411 on her radio show. Hell, even Dennis Kucinich's website has a link to "The Murmur of the Crow," although I don't think his people actually read what Brandon had to say because it's not very flattering. Hey, there was even a Boston Globe article on "Two TiVos to Paradise."
Still not enough, apparently. I mean, 411 may be kind of notable, but not Zangief notable. What it really comes down to is that certain people don't like the way 411 does business (which is really supposed to be irrelevant because Wikipedia "strives for unbiased" articles). See, we just "cut and paste" the news. I've heard this one a lot, including from a former writer here who shall remain nameless (although, if I told you his name, you probably wouldn't recognize it anyway).
So here's my defense of 411. It's true, 411 rarely breaks a story, but that doesn't mean we're not a news site. We get occasional interviews - the routine TNA conference call, Bobby Lashley, April Hunter, and Chris Sabin to name a few, but 411 is primarily a "news analyses" site. We take what's going on, add context and opinion, and give it back to you, the reader. Guess what. So do 90-percent of the shows on cable news. Very rarely does Bill O'Reilly or Keith Olbermann break a story themselves. They get the news, they compile the news, they give back the news.
It's considered good faith to share breaking news as long as it's credited (which 411 does religiously). Have you ever listened to an MSNBC anchor and heard "The Washington Post is reporting…" or "According to a New York Times article…"? Remember the V. Tech killer's video that was sent to NBC? Remember how it was on every news network? NBC could have just as easily hoarded the video, but that would break good faith and the next time a story broke, they might be excluded.
What 411 does provide is a perspective from informed fans' points-of-view, and we shouldn't have to apologize for that.
Not that all of Wikipedia is bad. It's actually quite a good little starting point if you're doing research, but be wary of people who have their own agendas.
ROH on PPV
"This is how it begins."
That quote either makes you giddy or apprehensive as an ROH fan. My worst fear for the state of wrestling was always that TNA would short-sightedly devour the companies beneath it and then fail when going up against the WWE, sending us back to the glory days of 2002 booking when no one was there to keep Vince in check.
With TNA pulling its talent and casting the stink-eye in ROH's direction rather than coming to some mutual agreement, this could be that step.
Other than that, ROH has a wider audience. Can't complain about that. |
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And we're rolling... - 04.30.2007
Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.
The group was unable to take official action because not enough members stuck around long enough to vote, despite the pleadings of party officials. The convention was held at Canyon View Junior High School.
Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty.
In a speech at the convention, Larsen told those gathered that illegal immigrants "hate American people" and "are determined to destroy this country, and there is nothing they won't do."
Illegal aliens are in control of the media, and working in tandem with Democrats, are trying to "destroy Christian America" and replace it with "a godless new world order -- and that is not extremism, that is fact," Larsen said.
At the end of his speech, Larsen began to cry, saying illegal immigrants were trying to bring about the destruction of the U.S. "by self invasion."
Republican officials then allowed speakers to defend and refute the resolution. One speaker, who was identified as "Joe," said illegal immigrants were Marxist and under the influence of the devil. Another, who declined to give her name to the Daily Herald, said illegal immigrants should not be allowed because "they are not going to become Republicans and stop flying the flag upside down. ... If they want to be Americans, they should learn to speak English and fly their flag like we do."
Senator Howard Stephenson, R-Draper, spoke against the resolution, saying Larsen, whom he called a "true patriot and a close friend," was embarrassing the Republican Party.
"I agree with 95 percent of this resolution but it has some language that is divisive and not inspiring other people to its vision," he said. "This only gives fodder to the liberal media to give negative attention to the Republican Party."
Joel Wright, a member of the Cedar Hills City Council, was booed as he opposed the resolution.
"This might be the most divisive issue in the Republican Party," he said. "I support President Bush but he needs to support this issue harder."
When Wright said "the economic benefit (of illegal immigration) outweighs the downside" he was jeered. He warned that the Republican Party of California had "killed themselves" by taking a hostile stance against illegal aliens.
He also said the LDS Church has studied the issue and tried to determine whether illegal aliens could be given temple recommends and allowed to serve missions but "gave up" because the issue was too complex. He ended by saying "President Bush needs to fix this now" and was booed again.
Larsen was allowed to finish the debate with a one-minute speech.
"If the Democrats take over the country, we will be dead, and we will have abortion and partial-birth abortion and the Republican Party will go into extinction," he said. "Nancy Pelosi and the ACLU would oppose this (resolution)."
A member of the audience moved that the convention suspend its rules to allow the "objectionable part" of Larsen's resolution to be stricken, retaining only the final paragraphs of the resolution, which condemn illegal immigration. Eventually party officials counted all delegates in attendance, only to discover that, with 299, they were about 30 short of a quorum and could take no action.
"I did ask people to stay so we could have this discussion," said Senator Curt Bramble, R-Provo, who chaired the convention. Bramble had earlier asked those gathered not to thwart a discussion on the resolution, saying it would be "good for the party."
In other business, those gathered voted against removing some of the party's leadership.
Letters supporting the re-election of party chairwoman Marian Monnahan and secretary Susan Bramble were mailed in envelopes bearing the party's return address, causing delegate Russell Sias to demand they be removed from office. A spokesperson for Alexander's Print Advantage, which handled the mailing, spoke at the convention, saying employees had mistaken put the address on the envelopes and the company took full responsibility for the snafu.
In a speech, Enid Greene, state Republican Party chair, announced to applause that she will remarry in a few months. Greene's first marriage came to an infamous end during her tenure in the U.S. House of Representatives when her husband, Joe Waldholtz, who was her campaign manager, was charged with embezzling. He eventually pled guilty to campaign fraud and other charges.
Greene said she was disappointed in BYU professors who protested Dick Cheney's visit to campus, calling them "self-appointed intellectuals."
"I'm not calling for BYU to fire them but if no one signs up for their classes ..." she said. "If they say the Vice President doesn't have anything to say we want to hear, I'm not interested in having my daughter learn from them."
All of the speakers praised those gathered. Lt. Governor Gary Herbert said Utah County Republicans are "guided by correct principles" and are the "best of the best" of the Republican Party.
Bramble assailed those who would called the local Republican Party "broken," saying the party was accountable and accomplishing good work, including the approval of school vouchers and granting UVSC university status.
Congressman Chris Cannon and Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff both received a standing ovation from some members of the audience. Cannon said Democrats have just as many corrupt party members as the Republicans but the media does not report Democratic ethics violations.
Shurtleff said that while Americans are divided on the war in Iraq, Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson should not refer to President Bush as a war criminal. |
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And we're rolling... - 04.05.2007
I have to say I am a huge fan of 411, but I found your Kayfabe Chronicles on Vince Mcmahon dying to be in very very poor taste.
In a period where so many wrestlers have died in a short period, to make light of someone's death is not amusing, nor is it insightful and a usually entertaining column is tainted by it.
I'm not going to rant and rave about it, as we are all entitled to an opinion, but I felt the column was very questionable.
and
That is kinda morbid, why do you do these?
I think both readers miss the point. The Kayfabe Chronicles is supposed to be a series of articles written as if the mainstream media were covering wrestling like a real sport.
So, with wrestling the circus that it is, I began to wonder what it would be like if Vince McMahon the character died. Obviously, if the actual guy died, who owned the WWE would be settled by his will or in probate court, not in the ring.
Maybe it was confusing the way I mixed in Vince's real-life biography with his character biography, but they are essentially the same until 1997. I also could have had Stone Cold be a little more callous, but Austin/McMahon has always been kind of a love/hate thing.
Besides, it's not like I interviewed his widow the day after he died. And just what about Al Wilson?
very creative concept - definitely enjoyed the read.
you are the main reason I visit 411 - thanks for all of the great show
recaps and columns. (And as a big Mid-South fan as a kid, those Mid-South
recaps are awesome too!).
Thanks again and keep up the great work!
Doug
And...
Ah yes, Citizen Vince. Now wouldn't it be crazy it turns out to be anywhere near that actual date?
I really enjoyed that one. It was a nice mix of history, educated guessing
and humor which I'm sure you had to flex your writing muscles to do.
One thing though- from what I understand it was actually his mom that abused
him sexually. At least he eluded to that in the Playboy interview...in an
issue that featured Anna Nicole Smith. Yeesh, nice morbid circle there.
Oh yeah, I'm going to go a more convential route and say that Fishburne was
some tricycle from his childhood.
-RM
Thanks to you both.
I would actually be freaked out if he died anywhere near that date. But one of the other reasons I wanted to do this was because we will have to deal with his death eventually. I know there are some people we think will always be around, so it will probably be a shock.
I would blame the sexual abuse mistake on the poorly worded article I read, but the buck stops with me for reprinting it. So, if Vince or his family was offended by my mistake, I apologize.
Oh, and not his tricycle, though you seem to be the only one who got the reference, and that makes me sad.
It is something that has a similar meaning, though, and it can be figured out by reading his biography. |
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And we're rolling... - 02.24.2007
No Smackdown Breakdown this week do to severe weather, but here are some random matches for you.
Dark Pegasus Wrestling Digest #001
by J.D. Dunn
Low Ki vs. Necro Butcher (IWA-MS "We're No Joke" — 04.01.06)
This is from IWA:Mid-South's "We're No Joke" show, a moniker that would normally set up all sorts of jokes, but over the past few years, they've been putting on a few matches that shatter that image (and many of them feature Mr. Butcher himself). Low Ki you all know (maybe as Senshi). Butcher is sort of a bizarre mix of Mick Foley, Terry Funk and Wild Bill Irwin if they were all turned into one zombie. Just picture Waingro from "Heat." Ki wisely comes in through the side of the gym and attacks from behind. All of a sudden, the ring is filled with streamers, and the wrestlers have to battle while underneath a pile. Ki suddenly breaks out with a kick to the head and knocks Butcher to the floor where he peppers him with strikes. Butcher posts Ki and pulls a table from under the ring. Ki catches him with a series of kicks, though. They battle on the apron where Ki knees his way out of a suplex and dropkicks Butcher to the floor. More brawling on the floor as Ki nearly knocks Butcher silly with a roundhouse kick. Back in again, Ki starts firing off kicks. Well, this is just turning into a squash. Ki can't pick up the win, though, so he starts targeting Necro's head with his stiffest kicks. When that doesn't work either, he sets up a table in the corner. Necro stops himself from going into it, but Ki slips out of a powerbomb and doublestomps Butcher's lungs out. Ki goes for the springboard kick, but Butcher takes his head off with a lariat. Ki is dazed, so Necro just follows him around the ring tossing chairs directly into his face. Back in, Necro sets up the table over the objections of the announcer, who is worried that they might damage the new canvas. Necro picks Ki up in a Fireman's Carry, but Ki counters to a Dragon Clutch and then doublestomps Necro's throat against the ropes. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Necro hits a Tiger Bomb for two and sets Ki up on the top turnbuckle. They struggle on there for quite a bit with the table looming precariously underneath. Can you loom from under something? Ki knocks Butcher back so he would be in the tree-of-woe, only the table is keeping him propped up. Ki crawls up and jumps off with the doublestomp, landing on Necro's chest and putting him THROUGH THE TABLE! Necro is folded up and looks like his neck's broken. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Necro kicks out, pushing the match over the line into absurdity. Ki slaps on the Dragon Clutch and finishes at 21:30. Not the MOTYC that some are making it out to be, but a really good match. Actually, it feels like two horrible indy-sleaze squashes mashed together to make something better than the sum of its parts. Mostly, it's remembered for the table spot, but what I'll always take from it is that Ki's talent totally overwhelmed Butcher to the point where you wondered why they ever let Necro Butcher in a ring to begin with. But anyway, yeah, it's pretty good for what it is. ***1/2
Non-Title: Bryan Danielson vs. KENTA (NOAH — 12.02.06)
Their match in ROH several months earlier at "Glory By Honor V" garnered many MOTY votes. This one is not quite as good, but still a fine match in its own right. Amateur wrestling to start, which Danielson wins and turns into a wristlock. That segues to a headscissors, but Kenta slips out and slaps Danielson in the face, triggering an exchange of forearms. Danielson counters a hiptoss to an armscissors. Kenta is near the ropes, but Danielson stays on top of that arm. Kenta backs him to the ropes and hits, what else, a series of stiff kicks. More mat wrestling as Danielson squirms out of a headscissors and counters to a Mexican Surfboard. Danielson goes back to the arm with an armbreaker then down into the wakigatame. Kenta makes the ropes but winds up in a Dragon Sleeper. Danielson tires of that and Butterfly Suplexes him into another cross-armlock. Nice! Kenta comes back with a big boot to the face and catches Danielson with an Ace Crusher. A series of kicks sets up a springboard missile dropkick. Danielson catches him with a backbreaker to set up the flying headbutt, though. They exchange nearfall roll ups, and Danielson nearly scores a victory similar to his Final Battle 2005 match with Marufuji. Kenta palm strikes him to put an end to that, but Danielson blocks his dive with a boot. Danielson avoids his charge to the floor and hits a springboard crossbody dive, messing up his knee on the landing. They tease a DCOR, but Danielson comes off with a Stampede missile dropkick and kips up through the pain to his knee. Kenta springboards back but gets caught in a German Suplex. He blocks the CFCW and cuts Danielson off with a flying heel kick. TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Kenta goes into his series of strikes but gets Regalplexed for two. Neat spot as Kenta bounds up to cut off Danielson on the top (á la Kurt Angle), but Danielson slips between his legs and crotches him. CATTLE MUTILATION! Kenta squirms to the ropes. They slug it out, and Kenta counters the CFCW to another Texas Cloverleaf. Danielson reverses that to a small package for two. Danielson ties up Kenta and nearly elbows him unconscious before going back to the Cattle Mutilation. Kenta makes the ropes despite Danielson dropping and reapplying the hold in the middle of the ring. GO2SLE—NO! Danielson counters to a Tiger Suplex for two. Kenta slips over onto him for two and hits a Pancake Cutter (Press to an Ace Crusher). They exchange blows again, until Kenta has Danielson so staggered he's able to finish with Go2Sleep at 25:21. Didn't have the intensity and heat of their first match, but it's nearly impossible to get these two below *** when they're in there together. ***3/4
Kurt Angle & Yuji Nagata vs. Giant Bernard & Tomko (New Japan — 02.18.07).
Bernard forces Nagata to the corner and takes a swing at him. Nagata is too quick, though. Yuji fires back at him but runs right into an avalanche. Bernard tries to slam him, but Nagata slips out and hits an enzuigiri and a few more stiff kicks. Bernard catches him with a powerslam, and they tag out to bring in Angle and Tomko. The fans are actually chanting "USA!" as Angle snaps off a German Suplex. Tomko no-sells, which would NEVER happen in the States. Angle goes right for the anklelock, but Tomko kicks him away and tags Bernard. Bernard overpowers him and hits an avalanche in the corner, followed by a bicycle kick. Tomko gets in his own shots on the floor, turning Angle to the face-in-peril. Bernard hits the delayed Butterfly Suplex after some doubleteams. The Derailer gets two, but Nagata makes the save. Tomko gets in some pummeling before Angle avoids a corner charge and tags Nagata. SHINING WIZARD! It only gets two as Bernard is a big monster and all. EXPLODER! Also gets two. Tomko sneaks in, and the heels give Nagata a decapitation sideslam. Nagata gets caught in the wrong corner and busts out his version of an angry Flair flop. Tomko misses a flipping senton, allowing Angle to tag in and hit ROLLING GERMANS! Bernard comes in for MORE ROLLING GERMANS! Tomko cuts Angle off with a boot to the face, though, and the heels hit Au Revoir. Angle plays dead while Tomko goes up, and then he runs up and superplexes him off. Angle and Nagata bust out the Anklelock/Crossface combo, but Bernard comes in to make the save. CUE THE FINISHERS! Angle Angleslams Tomko and leaves him for Nagata. Nagata drops Tomko with a brainbuster and applies the Crippler Crossface as Angle holds Bernard in the Anklelock to keep him from interfering. Tomko is forced to tap at 14:44. Angle didn't do much outside of his usual trademark moves, and this was just a formula tag with the monsters dominating most of the way. It is interesting to see Bernard and Tomko being so over in New Japan that they get to do things they normally wouldn't be able to do in a million years in the U.S.. **3/4
European Title Match: Starbuck vs. Bjørn Sem.
Raw footage from Sweden(?). Starbuck is Canadian and a trainee of Lance Storm. He sounds like Val Venis doing a Chris Jericho impression in his pre-match promo. Bjorn is a big Swede (I assume) who imitates Bam Bam Bigelow. The crowd is really markish, "clucking" at Starbuck and calling him "chicken" for refusing to lock up. Ah, that takes me back, and it's a refreshing change from "Let's go, Starbuck!/Let's go, Bjorn!" Starbuck chops away but gets caught and power-slammed by Bjorn. Bjorn boots him to the floor, and they brawl out into the crowd. Back in, Starbuck catches him coming back in the ring and stomps him. SUPERKICK BY STARBUCK! CATTLEBRANDING! Wow, you don't often see a wrestler ripping off Shawn Michaels and Stan Hansen in consecutive moves. Well, unless you count Kojima, but this isn't about Kojima, and I'll thank you not to interrupt. Bjorn powers back and hits an avalanche in the corner. A pair of splashes squash Starbuck flat as I begin to realize that this is just a big carry-job by the Canadian. Bjorn gets a monster slam. And another. And another splash. That only gets two. Starbuck desperately dropkicks Bjorn's knee out from under him drawing a remark of "cheater" from the crowd. Read your rulebook! Starbuck wraps Bjorn's leg around the post, drawing a warning. Back in, Starbuck grabs an STF to work the knee even further, but Bjorn catches him going up and slams him off. The three-clothesline comeback leads to a big boot. Starbuck counters a press slam to a schoolboy for two and starts tuning up the band. No, really. He does. Bjorn blocks Sweet Chin Music, though, and counters to a double-armed chokeslam. Some guy hops up on the apron and distracts the referee while Bjorn headbutts Starbuck in the crotch. The ref turns and calls for the bell at 14:43, so either he disqualified Bjorn or it's a 15:00 time limit. Bjorn powerbombs Starbuck on his way out and then decides to give him a diving headbutt. Starbuck looks like a talented guy, but then anyone could look talented ripping of Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho so much. He needs to find his own personality and his own moveset if he wants to make it on the North American scene. **1/2
Shawn Michaels vs. The 1-2-3 Kid ("Monday Night Raw" — 12.06.93).
The Kid saved Razor Ramon from a beatdown by Shawn and Diesel, so now Shawn's coming for revenge. Hmm. Wonder what all those people have in common. Shawn is still wearing the unrecognized Intercontinental Title because Razor has just won the real Intercontinental title after the battle royal and match with Rick Martel. Kid fires off a series of kicks, knocking Shawn to the floor. He springboards into a cannonball on the outside and gets two off a German Suplex back inside. Kid grabs a headlock and tries to walk up the ropes á la Ricky Steamboat, but Shawn drops him on his head with a backdrop suplex. A headscissors sends Kid to the floor, but Kid reverses a whip and posts Shawn. Kid tries a dive off the apron, but Shawn counters to a powerbomb on the floor. OUCH! We come back from commercial to Shawn whipping Kid hard into the buckle. Kid blocks a superplex and tosses Shawn back in. He comes off the top, but Shawn blocks with a dropkick. Back to work on the back as Shawn hits a backbreaker and stretches the Kid across his knee. Kid knees his way out and hits a spinning backkick to knock Shawn down. They tease a double KO, but Kid recovers and hits a corner spinkick. The twisting crossbody gets two, but Kid misses a cannonball off the top as we go to another break. We come back to Shawn signaling for the Razor's Edge…and he gets it! ONE, TWO, THR-Shawn pulls the Kid up and gives him another one. I'll assume "the Law of Threes" is going to kick in. Indeed, Razor comes down and saves the Kid from a third Razor's Edge. Shawn slaps Razor in the face and runs to the back where Diesel is waiting to jump Razor for a big heel beatdown. Shawn gives Razor the Razor's Edge out on the floor and walks away. No closing bell, but the match was around 10:30 with the commercials cut out. For the time period, this was a staggeringly good match, but it would be merely "pretty good" by today's standards. **3/4
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And we're rolling... - 01.21.2007
The Amazing Spider-Man #31-#40
 The Amazing Spider-Man #31
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published December 1965
The Story: When a group of masked terrorists who work for "The Master Planner" decide to target atomic facilities, Spidey nearly thwarts their plans. Peter has other things to contend with, though, like registering for classes at Empire State University. On top of that, Aunt May collapses and falls ill. Also, Betty is keeping Ned Leeds in a holding pattern until she figures out what Peter wants. The combination of these stressors means that Peter's mind is elsewhere when the other kids (including rich kid Harry Osborn and hottie Gwen Stacy) try to talk to him, so he gets a reputation as being a snob — a reputation that fellow freshman Flash Thompson isn't falling over himself to correct.
Introduces: Gwen Stacy (looking a lot different than she will in future issues) and Harry Osborn.
Great Moments in American Comic Book Writing History: "That's right! We're loading a cargo of nuclear devices at Pier 6 tonight! What's it to you, Mate?" (spoken by the captain of cargo vessel to a curious bystander who happens to be a crook)
Analysis Hey, I'm for conflict as much as the next writer, but did they have to recycle Peter Parker's high school life exactly as it was complete with blonde girl who's strangely attracted to his absentmindedness? Thankfully, John Romita would shake things up when he took over the next year. Until then, Peter's life remains the same for 6-7 issues straight. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #32
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published January 1966
The Story: Peter gives Betty the cold shoulder in hopes of making a clean break, but she's not buying it. Doctors figure out that Aunt May's sickness is caused by radioactivity in her bloodstream, meaning Peter's transfusion a few months back is what's causing this. Spidey turns to his homey Dr. Curtis Connors to help come up with a serum that will eradicate the bad blood. Unfortunately, the Master Planner stole the special isotope that Connors needs to finish the serum, so Spidey sets out to destroy the underworld in hopes of finding out who the Master Planner is and where he's hiding the isotope. Oh, by the way, the Planner winds up being Doctor Octopus, which is disappointingly revealed with little fanfare on the second page of the issue.
Analysis A marked improvement over the previous issue, and it's not normally my kind of story. The race against time to save Aunt May storyline really works and shows Peter's devotion to that little old lady. It would have been nice to find out who the Planner was at the same time Spidey did, especially after all the mystery in the previous issue, but I'll take what I can get. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #33
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published February 1966
The Story: With Aunt May deteriorating in a hospital and Dr. Connors waiting for the necessary isotope, Spidey tries desperately to unpin himself from Doc Ock's collapsed headquarters. He finally does so (after four pages!) and defeats Ock's henchman to retrieve the formula. The doctors administer the serum Connors created and reverse the radioactive poison in her blood. Back at the office, Betty sees Peter bruised and battered for the first time and freaks out because he's such a thrillseeker.
Analysis An action-oriented conclusion to the three-issue arc, and a pretty good one. Aunt May gets saved, the Planner's gang gets captured, and Betty realizes she'll never be able to be with Peter because of his daring lifestyle. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #34
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published March 1966
The Story: Pete's still having a hard time fitting in with the ESU crowd, especially with Gwen Stacy, who won't give Pete the time of day because she thinks he's a snob. He can't dwell on it too long, because Kraven the Hunter returns, disguised as Spidey and attacks Jonah Jameson in broad daylight, hoping to goad Spidey into a fight to clear his reputation. It works. Spidey actually defeats Kraven fairly cleanly and, because Kraven is a man of his word, Kraven confesses that Spidey is innocent. Betty, on the other hand, can't deal with the stress of being torn between two men and quits The Daily Bugle.
Analysis Pretty straight-forward story with Kraven tricking Spidey out into the open and getting soundly defeated – kind of like all the other Kraven stories really. Peter getting the cold shoulder from Gwen is kind of interesting, but only if you know that Gwen becomes a bigger part of his life later on. Otherwise, it's just more of the same. C
 The Amazing Spider-Man #35
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published April 1966
The Story: The Molten Man gets out of jail for good behavior (damned liberal judges) and promptly goes on a crime spree. Spidey puts the breaks on that, but he can't stop Betty from leaving town.
Inside Joke: Spidey mentions an "Irving Forbush." (Forbush is the fictional, hapless worker in the Marvel offices that Lee constantly jokes about.)
Analysis They're really not even trying anymore. Sure, we'll let you out, Molten Man. Pffft. What's the worst that could happen? Not really much to say about this one. C-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #36
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published May 1966
The Story: When researcher Norton G. Fester finds a meteorite he just knows will contain the secrets of the universe, he finds that no one wants to fund his research. So instead, Fester decides to break open the meteorite. How can that *not* be a good idea? Of course, there's some kind of radioactive gas that seeps out and gives Fester superpowers. Fester realizes he can fund his research by donning a costume and looting banks as, what else, the Looter. Spidey stops him, but it's at the expense of his social life (yet again) as Gwen just assumes Pete ran off because he was scared.
Analysis It's becoming obvious that Ditko was just tapped out (what, you didn't think Stan Lee actually wrote the stories, did you?). This could have been any of the issues from the first two years with [insert villain here] making things difficult for Peter and Betty. Now, it's just updated with Gwen and some loser. C-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #37
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published June 1966
The Story: When evil genius professor Mendel Stromm is released from prison, he constructs a pair of robots to destroy the businessman who screwed him over – Norman Osborn! Spidey intervenes on Norman's behalf, but Norman isn't very grateful and kills off Stromm (albeit indirectly).
Introduces: Norman Osborn, verbally abusive father of Harry Osborn and all-around jerkoff.
Analysis So, 23 issues and nearly two years after the debut of the Goblin, we meet Norman Osborn. Ditko lets us know immediately, in no uncertain terms, that Osborn is a major league asshole. Not only does he have a bristly personality, but he goes over the top into all-out villain territory, promising at the end that Spider-man will be eliminated. Of course, we didn't yet know just how far he would take that. Obviously, this is another must-have just for the debut of Norman. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #38
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published July 1966
The Story: An average Joe gets electrocuted, giving him super-strength (and, apparently, screwing with his brain). No longer is he just a face in the crowd – he's somebody! Yeah anyway…he goes on a rampage, and Spidey has to stop him. Also, Pete runs into Ned Leeds at the Bugle. Things get a bit awkward as Pete tells Ned to get bent.
Historic Moment: Steve Ditko's last issue as artist. Apparently, he and Stan had a falling out. Legend had it that it was over the identity of the Green Goblin, but Ditko has since dispelled that myth. Whatever the cause, it wound up being a blessing for all involved because Ditko was rejuvenated in DC while John Romita would step in and take Spidey in a new, more soap operatic direction that appealed to an older, more-sophisticated audience.
Analysis Not that I don't appreciate what Steve Ditko did in the formation of the character (and most of the villains) and carrying Peter through the high school years, but I'm glad this is his last issue. Once Peter graduated high school, they had no idea what to do with him, so we got the same stories recycled for college with a new cast. The last few issues were particularly bad with the setup of a guy either getting out of jail or having some sort of accident that gives him superpowers interspersed with a b-story about Pete being shunned by his peers (and it's written the exact same way every time with Gwen secretly thinking he might be an okay guy). Anyway, rant over. This one was pretty bad. D+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #39
W: Stan Lee
I: Johnny Romita
Originally Published August 1966
The Story: The Green Goblin returns with one of the first aggressive plans to kill Spider-man rather than rob some bank or something. He tricks Spidey into fighting some regular goons and then releases a gas that will dull Peter's spider sense. Then, when Spider-man goes to get changed in private, he doesn't realize he's being watched by the Goblin. The Goblin captures Peter and takes him to his lair where he reveals that he is actually **GASP** Norman Osborne. Well, I'm sure it was a shock back then. At school, things actually take a turn for the better as Peter and Harry Osborn bond as Harry is sulking about what a jerk his father is.
Historic Moment: John Romita's first issue as illustrator.
Analysis If ever you wanted evidence that Stan Lee is just a figurehead when it comes to the nuts and bolts of writing, just compare this issue to the last one. Romita's style is a complete 180 from Ditko's. No longer are the villains just maniacal gimmicks (the Green Goblin is…a goblin…who is green), they have personalities of their own. Gone is the repetitive scorn of Parker's peers, and in comes an era of acceptance and manhood for Petey. Plus, I didn't even mention the fact that Goblin knows who Spider-man is! Oh yeah, you want *all* of this. A+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #40
W: Stan Lee
I: Johnny Romita
Originally Published September 1966
The Story: With Peter all tied up, a psychotic Norman Osborne decides to reveal the origins of the Goblin. Norman was an absentee father who made up for his poor parenting skills by being a ruthless businessman. He double-crossed Professor Mendel Stromm and stole all of his formulae when Stromm was sent off to prison. Unfortunately, Norman couldn't understand Stromm's formula and nearly blew himself up. The doctors managed to save his life, but part of his brain was damaged, and he became the psycho we know and love. But it would be useless to kill a helpless foe, so Goblin unleashes Peter for one final fight. Spidey and Goblin tear the house down (almost literally), and Spidey is victorious. A blast knocks Norman out, and when he regains consciousness, he has no memory of the Goblin months of his life, nor Spidey's identity. The Goblin is dead…for now.
Analysis The "I wouldn't be satisfied by killing you now" cliché actually makes sense here with Norman not being in his right mind. Revealing Spider-man's identity to a villain was a risky gambit, but it paid off in spades over the last two issues. Suddenly, Norman and the Goblin are much more interesting characters, and so is Peter with this newfound vulnerability hanging over his head. A
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And we're rolling... - 01.15.2007
The Amazing Spider-Man #21-#30
 The Amazing Spider-Man #21
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Dikto
Originally Published February 21, 1965
The Story: When the Human Torch's nemesis, the Beetle, shows up to cause trouble, it wreaks havoc in Peter Parker's love life. Johnny Storm's girlfriend Doris takes a shine to Peter because he's down to earth and not always "flaming on" to go fight evil. Of course, Johnny gets jealous of Peter, and Betty finds out about Doris, which is just one more thing to upset her apple cart. Professionally, though, Spidey has to set aside his personal feelings for the Torch so they can work together to bring down the Beetle.
Analysis I always liked the interplay between Spidey and Torch. Johnny Storm is much more in the Flash Thompson mold, so he already stirs up feelings of resentment for Pete. Add to that, Spidey being mistrusted by the public while Johnny is embraced, and you have one sulky webhead. But in the end, Spidey always does the right thing, and he and the Torch always seem to find some common ground. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #22
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published March 22, 1965
The Story: When the Ringmaster tries to get the gang back together to move on to a new town and a new crime spree, they impeach him as their leader and follow "the Clown." Spidey has to foil their heist while successfully evading the sexual advances of Princess Python.
Analysis: Bland story here. The Clown could actually be an interesting character, but the idea of carny performers using their skills for crime is corny even for Lee & Ditko. C-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #23
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published April 23, 1965
The Story: The Green Goblin returns, this time trying to take over all of the gangs in New York City. Mostly, he uses strong-arm tactics, but he also bribes one of Lucky Lobo's gang for his financial dealings. That list mysteriously makes its way to the newly rehired Frederick Foswell of The Daily Bugle. Of course, Spidey winds up in the middle of it all, fighting both the Goblin and the gangs. Meanwhile, on the relationship front, it seems Betty Brant and Ned Leeds have been keeping in touch while Ned's in Europe.
Analysis: The Goblin is slowly making the transition from garish, whacked-out goofball to megalomaniacal master criminal, but it's still a work in progress. Fighting over gangs and territory would be taken to new heights when Goblin's successor, the Hobgoblin, took over. And it would be much more interesting too. The only real draw is the re-introduction of Foswell as a possible suspect in the "Who is the Green Goblin?" mystery. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #24
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published May 24, 1965
The Story: Pete is stressed about his finances, especially since Aunt May is on a fixed income. His condition isn't helped when a psychiatrist voices his opinion that Spider-man may, indeed, be a total whackjob. When Spidey starts hallucinating about his old enemies, he thinks there might be something to that. Speaking of crazy people, Betty Brant is still paranoid over Peter's relationship with Liz Allan. It seems Pete has agreed to tutor Liz on the side. Turns out that psychiatrist is really just Mysterio, which is revealed in a four-way fracas between Spidey, Mysterio in disguise, Flash Thompson and Jolly Jonah.
Analysis You gotta wonder just how dire Pete's financial straits are when Aunt May has money enough for a new hat for Mrs. Watson's tea party. Oh, who am I kidding; Aunt May deserves to get down with her bad self. The idea of a superhero developing mental problems because of the necessity of dual identities is one with great potential, and one that would be tapped in virtually every major comic series. The Watchmen this ain't, though. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #25
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published June 25, 1965
The Story: When Pete goads Jonah into financing Professor Spencer Smythe's funky-looking robot (later named "the Spider Slayer") just so he can make a few bucks selling the pictures of him beating it, he immediately comes to regret it when the machine becomes a formidable foe. Peter can't even make it to his scheduled fight in the schoolyard with Flash Thompson because he's busy escaping the Spidey Slayer. Everyone forgets that in a hurry, though, when they see Spidey battling the infernal contraption. Meanwhile, Liz and Betty cross paths again, but this time they run into someone whose beauty makes them both feel insecure…Mary Jane Watson.
Introduces: Mary Jane Watson (obscured by a plant), Professor Spencer Smythe.
Analysis Well, if you can get by the fact that A) the Spider Slayer tracks Spider-man by his "spiderness" and B) Spider-man basically beats the machine by flipping its switch to "off," then this isn't a bad little issue. Of course, it's already a must for Spideyphiles because of the first appearance of Mary Jane, even if that danged flower gets in the way. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #26
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published July 26, 1965
The Story: Still intent on taking over all of organized crime in New York City, the Green Goblin joins forces with the mysterious Crime Master, even revealing his identity to him. Ace reporter Frederick Foswell knows a secret about their connection, but we're not quite sure how he knows. All we see is him keeping some kind of disguise in his closet. Is he the Goblin? Is he the Crime Master? We won't find out until next issue because he and the Goblin have captured Spidey and are preparing to kill him in front of the rank-and-file gangsters just to show them whose boss. Meanwhile, in the B-story, Flash and Peter get into a fistfight, which is quickly broken up by the principal. Unfortunately, it endangers Pete's high school status mere months away from graduation.
Analysis One of my favorites, not for the A-story with the Goblin and Crime Master, although that is good too. What I like about this one is that we finally see that Flash Thompson is truly a standup guy, contrary to our impressions about him. When the principal catches them fighting, Peter takes the fall (remember his overdeveloped sense of responsibility). Flash overhears Peter doing the right thing and catches up with the principal, intervening on Peter's behalf so he won't get expelled. More on the A-story in the next issue. A
 The Amazing Spider-Man #27
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published August 27, 1965
The Story: In a divine twist of fate, Spider-man's identity is saved because he had to buy an ill-fitting imitation costume (Jonah got one in ASM #25, and Aunt May threw the spare out thinking it was for a costume party). See, because the mask didn't fit, he had to web it onto his face, and now the crooks can't unmask him. Thankfully, they stand around arguing like good little heels until Spidey can free himself. The cops get a tip from a snitch named "Patch" and wind up pinching the Crime Master, see, nyaah. Turns out he's – are you ready for this? – Nick "Lucky" Lewis. Don't worry. You shouldn't have heard of him. The Goblin is still at large, though, and it turns out Foswell was just infiltrating the gang to help the police (and get the scoop, of course).
Analysis Some of the points of the story are so hokey they could play for Virginia Tech (the crooks can't unmask Spidey; Crime Master dies just moments before he can reveal the Goblin's identity). Still, once we find out just how sick the Goblin is, it kind of retrosplains the whole deal with why he seems so stupid. Normally, I like more Peter…wait. That didn't sound right. Uh, anyway, this was good for an early "Spidey vs. organized crime" tale. B+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #28
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published September 28, 1965
The Story: With graduation approaching and Liz & Betty giving him the cold shoulders, Pete can focus on more important things like investigating whether Spencer Smythe has made any improvements to the Spider Slayer. Unfortunately (I type that a lot in these), Pete wanders in at just the wrong time because Smythe's assistant Raxton double-crosses him and steals the super secret metal alloy they'd been working on. Raxton's kind of a klutz, though, and spills it all over himself becoming…the Molten Man!
Introduces: Raxton, the Molten Man.
Interesting Dialogue: Jonah says he was accused of being the Green Goblin once, to which May replies that's as absurd as Peter being Spider-Man. That exchange is just loaded with all sorts of connotations. Is Jonah the Goblin? How much does Aunt May know?
Historic Moment: Peter, Flash and Liz graduate high school. PAR-TAY! Put 'em on the glass, Liz!
Analysis The Raxton story is okay — a very classic Spidey tale with some sort of accident creating a seemingly unbeatable super villain that Spidey then has to use his wits to beat. The graduation is the big deal here. In a nice little moment, Liz Allan finds Peter and tells him she always had a crush on him, but she thinks he didn't respond because he thought she was just a bimbo and, even though he won't see her again, she's going to work to change that image. A sad but fitting end to Peter and Liz's non-romance. B+
The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #2
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published August 1965
The Story: Evil sorcerer Xandu hypnotizes a couple of thugs into stealing the mystical Wand of Watoomb. Even a novice comic reader knows who Spidey is going to team up with here. Yes, that's right. Dr. Strange takes some time out from smoking sherm to help Spidey retrieve the wand and drain it of it's mystical powers.
Analysis It's an annual. It's not like they're going to put forth their A-game here. Strange is always fun to see, but this story was highly vanilla. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #29
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published October 29, 1965
The Story: The Scorpion escapes from prison (not sure why he waited so long, but that's beside the point) and goes after J. Jonah Jameson. That cagey Jonah wants Spider-Man to intervene, so he plants a story in The Daily Bugle that Spidey and Scorpion are in cahoots. Dealing with the Scorpion is easy enough for Spidey, but his real worries are that Ned Leeds is back in town and (although he doesn't know it yet) Aunt May is having health issues.
Analysis The usual Spidey fight with the Scorpion (Avoid the tail, tie him up with webbing. That sort of thing.) Thankfully, Ned Leeds is around to provide comic relief as he not only steals back Betty Brant from Peter Parker but also gives Spidey some pointers on how to fight the Scorpion. Ever meet a guy that's just too darned perfect and clueless as to why you don't like him? If they ever introduce him in the movies, he should be played by Greg Kinnear. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #30
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published November 30, 1965
The Story: When Jonah Jameson is robbed by the burglar known as "the Cat," he offers a large reward, which Spidey is intent on collecting. The Cat doesn't have any superpowers or anything, but he is a crafty one. In more important news, Peter runs into Liz Allan, who tells him she's gone to work instead of going off to college. In even more important news, Flash is stalking her, allowing Petey to run interference for old times' sake. In even bigger news than that, Ned Leeds asks Betty Brant to marry him!
Historic Moment: Are you blind, man?! Ned asked Betty to marry him!
Analysis The Cat is a nothing character probably designed to capitalize on "To Catch a Thief" or something. As usual, Spidey's personal life runs away with this one with Liz thinking Peter looks down on her and Betty getting farther away from Pete and closer to Ned Leeds. I normally don't comment on art, but the final panel with an ethereal Spider-Man pushing a wedge between Peter and Betty as they walk away from one another is a great bit of visual storytelling. B+
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And we're rolling... - 01.03.2007
I actually had this on DVR but didn't get a chance to watch it until the weekend. Normally, I'd just let it go, but I thought JBL's promo was so awesome I had to review it.
WWE Smackdown
by J.D. Dunn
December 22, 2006
From Hampton, Virg..
Your hosts are Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.
King Booker and Fit Finlay demand a rematch with Batista, but General Manager Teddy Long gives them Kane and the Undertaker instead. **GULP!**
Batista leads off the show with a happy holiday greeting. He talks about finishing the year strong. Santa Claus interrupts and hands out gifts. He and Batista toss out some candy canes, and gives Michael Cole a Roddy Piper DVD. Santa suddenly turns heel and hits Batista with a lead pipe. MY GAWD! SANTA HAS SOLD OUT TO THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN! Teddy Long comes out and makes a Batista vs. Santa Match.
Batista vs. Santa Claus.
Santa goes to work on Batista's arm. Cole demands we call him "Bad Santa." I SAID "NEXT," GODDAMMIT! THIS AIN'T THE DMV! Batista makes the comeback and unmasks Santa as Sylvan Grenier. The Demonbomb finishes at 1:41. 1/4*
U.S. Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/Vicky Guerrero).
Chavo fires away in the corner, but Benoit shrugs it off and hits a snap suplex. JBL, who is grumpier than usual, shuts Michael Cole down for questioning Vicky's injury. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but Chavo is in the ropes. Chavo battles out of the Rolling Germans, and they both spill to the floor as we go to break. We come back to Chavo in control. Benoit counters a chinlock to a backdrop suplex. Chavo whips him hard into the corner, though, and knees him in the back. Finally, Chavo misses a dropkick, and Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter. Chavo shoves him away and knees him in the gut. Benoit pops up with the German Suplexes, though, and hits the Diving Headbutt. Benoit goes for a superplex, but Chavo shoves him off. Benoit gets the knees up, blocking the frogsplash, and Benoit locks in the Crippler Crossface. Vicky panics and hits Benoit in the back of the head with the U.S. Title for the DQ at 13:14. Benoit glowers in her direction before leaving. Chavo, however, blames her for costing him the title and pokes at her until she falls down. Benoit returns to help her up, but Chavo jumps him from behind and hits him with a belt shot. **3/4
In the back, Booker and Sharmell and panic until Finlay gives the Braveheart speech and convinces them they can beat the Undertaker and Kane if they stick together. He should run for Parliament.
Gregory Helms is tired of dominating all the Cruiserweights, so he announces he's going up in weight class just like Rey Mysterio. The Boogeyman comes out and chases him off. Ring announcer Tony Chimel announces the Boogeyman for the first time in his life and pays for it by having worms shoved in his mouth.
A disfigured Joey Mercury comes out to a nice smattering of applause after the vicious ladder shot he took at "Armageddon." The crowd turns on him as he blames the Hardy Boyz for using a ladder in such a dangerous way. Matt Hardy comes out to defend the Hardyz, saying wrestling's a tough business. Mercury says he can't do anything about it, but his partner Johnny Nitro can. See, here's the Michael Hayes influence. Aren't Joey's motivations completely understandable? To Joey, he is the babyface of the feud. That bit of character depth is something that over-the-top characters like King Booker are missing.
Matt Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro (w/Melina & Joey Mercury).
Nitro attacks Matt from behind and batters him on the ground. They brawl to the floor where Nitro kicks him in the gut. Back in, Matt gets the bulldog. Johnny fights out of the Side Effect, though, and hits a neckbreaker. He pulls out a ladder from under the ring, but Matt dropkicks it back into him as we go to break. Back in, Matt goes up for the second-rope legdrop, but Melina distracts him long enough for Nitro to hit an enzuigiri. The springboard spinkick misses, though, and Matt clotheslines him down. Matt goes for the Twist of Fate, but Nitro counters to a backslide with his feet on the ropes for the win at 10:33. **1/4
JBL gets in the ring for a tremendous commentary segment. "A human being was set on fire at Armageddon!" He references Hell and the fall of Rome and lays it all at the feet of Teddy Long. This was another amazing promo because, even though he's a heel, JBL makes a really good case against the fans' bloodlust and Teddy Long's pandering to it at the expense of the wrestlers. "You people are responsible, and it disgusts me!" He calls out Teddy Long for an apology, but Teddy never appears. Awesome, awesome, awesome promo from JBL.
Ashley & Layla vs. Kristal & Jillian.
This was pretty awful, but I'm just watching for the fashion anyway. Layla, who has some bottoms, covers Kristal early, and JBL complains that when Vito's out there the director gets a close-up of his crotch, but when it's Layla, it turns into a blimp shot. Jillian goes for a Flair-pin, but Layla makes the save, and Ashley finishes with the second-rope elbow at 3:09. 1/4*
The Undertaker & Kane vs. Booker T & Fit Finlay.
You know, if they're going to give Taker the Rumble win, I could really go for an Undertaker versus Fit Finlay match at No Way Out. Taker starts with Booker and hits the Ropewalk Forearm. Finlay breaks up a second attempt, though. Booker hits a superplex for two, and Taker sits up. Taker DDTs Finlay and brings Kane in. Kane cleans house on both heels. The BOD signal for chokeslams, but Finlay and Booker bail. We come back from a commercial to Kane knocking Booker around. Booker wind up with his head on the apron, so Taker legdrops him. Finlay tags in but doesn't fare much better. Taker drops him with a Snake Eyes and hits a big boot. I love how Cole can ask the stupidest question, and JBL will run with it. In this case, he asks JBL what that big boot feels like, and JBL goes off on a rant about how you see a white light and wake up in a room you've never been in. Finally, Taker misses a big boot and falls to the floor. Booker adds a chairshot while Finlay works over Kane in the ring. They switch off with Finlay going low on Taker and hitting him with the shillelagh while Booker takes Kane apart. Taker staggers up and boots Finlay. Hot tag to Taker! Taker explodes with corner clotheslines and goes for a double-chokeslam. Finlay and Booker counter with boots to the gut, but Kane slides in, and the BOD hit stereo chokeslams. Undertaker finishes Finlay with the Tombstone at 15:39. **1/4
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And we're rolling... - 12.22.2006
It's hard to imitate Eddie Vedder in print.
But anyway, if you haven't heard, it snowed.
Boy did it snow!
I haven't had satellite or internet until today, but that just gave me a chance to catch up on my Ring of Honor. I cannot stress how awesome the Cage of Death match is.
That is all. |
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And we're rolling... - 12.10.2006
 The Amazing Spider-Man #11-20
| Grade | A = Excellent | B = Very Good | C = Average | D = Poor/Below Average | F = Failure/Offensive |
 The Amazing Spider-Man #11
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published April 11, 1964
The Story: Peter is still carrying a torch for Betty Brant, even though she skipped town last ish. When Dr. Octopus is released from prison for good behavior, Spider-Man learns Betty Brant's brother Ben (ALLITERATION~!) is tied up with him due to gambling debts, and that's why Betty has been so distant. In the ensuing battle between Doc Ock, loan shark Blackie Gaxton (the spitting image of Dennis Farina), and Spider-Man, Betty's brother is shot and killed. Betty, of course, blames Spidey, meaning that Peter can never reveal his identity to his first true love.
Introduces: The Spidey tracer.
Analysis: Everything finally comes together as Spider-Man and Peter Parker's lives intersect. This is part one of the first real arc of the series, and it's an excellent set-up for the next issue. Spidey's plight would be repeated on a larger scale with Gwen Stacy and her father. A-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #12
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Original Published May 12, 1964
The Story: Doc Ock's crime spree continues, and things get awkward when he goes to The Daily Bugle and openly challenges Spider-Man to a fight with Peter Parker snapping the photos. Add the flu virus to that equation, and Doc Ock is able to best Spidey rather easily. Not only that, but he unmasks Spidey as **GASP** Peter Parker! Spidey's identity has been found out, and it's only issue twelve! Fortunately, everyone just thinks puny Parker was impersonating the real Spider-Man, a fact which finally earns him the love and respect of Liz Allan. Of course, by now, Peter is already deeply in love with Betty Brant, so Liz is out of luck.
Analysis: Well, okay, everyone in the story looks like a moron for not realizing they'd actually unmasked Spider-Man, but who would think he's a teenager. The Spidey versus Doc Ock battle is just their usual brawl, but the reversal of Spidey's lovelife was a nice touch. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #13
W:Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published June 13, 1964
The Story: Spider-Man is responsible for a rash of robberies across NYC. Since Peter is pretty sure he's not doing it, he has to find out who is. When a garish "superhero" known as Mysterio shows up hoping to catch the new criminal Spidey, that narrows things down quite a bit. It's up to Spidey to clear his own name.
Introduces: Down on his luck movie stuntman Mysterio.
Analysis: Mysterio was always one of the odder villains in Spidey's life. Sometimes he was shown to be all-powerful, and at other times he was just some schlub who did some neat illusions. Here, he's kind of in the middle. The best part of the issue is seeing everyone's reactions to Mysterio. Jonah Jameson orders a reprint on all of his editorials just to prove to everyone he was right while Flash continues his bizarre hero worship of Spidey by defending his reputation through to the end. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #14
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published July 14, 1964
The Story: Speaking of garish characters, the Green Goblin makes his first appearance, offering Spider-Man a part in his own movie. Since Peter Parker really needs the money, and the Goblin seems nice enough riding around on his broomstick above Manhattan, Spidey figures he'll give Hollywood a go (and Peter Parker will take the pictures). Of course, it's all just a ruse, and we all know now that Gobby is evil incarnate. Meanwhile, back in NYC, Betty begins to get jealous of Peter hanging out with celebs and Liz Allan.
Introduces: The Green Goblin (on a broomstick!)
Guest Star: The Hulk
Analysis: Talk about a simpler time. Remember when the Goblin wasn't responsible for every single bad thing to happen to Peter Parker ever in his life? We do get a hint that he's not your average villain. There's no origin story for him. We don't find out his identity. In fact, it's conspicuously concealed to build mystery. Sadly, Goblin's first story doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. It seems like Stan's way of dropping Hollywood names rather than a real story. Oh, and what's with Betty getting clingy all of a sudden. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #15
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published August 15, 1964
The Story: The Chameleon enlists help from his old friend Kraven the Hunter to stalk, capture and kill Spider-Man. Kraven is a different sort. He's analytical, scientific and ruthless. Unfortunately, his arrival also causes problems in Peter Parker's lovelife as everyone is sort of thrown together. Flash and Betty are both jealous of Liz's attraction to Peter (each for their own reasons obviously), and Peter is caught in between it all. To top it all off, Aunt May has arranged for a blind date with Mrs. Watson's niece down the street. Peter is cool to the idea. Thankfully for Peter, he can always don the Spidey suit and tangle with people hellbent on killing him.
Introduces: Kraven the Hunter
Great Moments in J. Jonah Jameson History: "You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant, open up the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate."
Analysis: I never liked Kraven when I used to read as a kid, but now I kind of dig the characterization of a guy who just likes to hunt and wants to kill Spider-Man for fun. Of course, that would be taken to ridiculous extremes in "Kraven's Last Hunt," but it was kind of fun while it lasted. The fun part is, again, Peter's personal life. Although it's starting to get repetitive at this point, Flash's jealousy over Liz's crush on Peter is pure cathartic gold. Plus, reading these now with a sense of history makes for some good comedy. Aunt May tries to fix Peter up with "Mrs. Watson's niece" because she thinks "she'll make a good housewife." HAHAHHAHAA! A-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #16
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published September 16, 1964
The Story: Aunt May continues to bother Pete about seeing that nice young "Mary Jane," but Peter is too worried about his rocky relationship with Betty Brant. When the circus comes to town advertising Spider-Man will be there, Pete decides to show up, further straining relations with Betty because he has to lie to her about having plans and because Liz Allan will be there (that tramp!). Of course, it's all part of a plot as the Ringmaster and his band of hired goons hypnotizes the crowd, including Spider-Man, so they can pick their pockets. When special guest star The Daredevil interferes, Ringmaster sicks Spidey on him in a battle of the superheroes!
Introduces: The Ringmaster
Analysis: More action packed than usual with Spidey taking on Daredevil and Ringmaster's crew in successive fights. The hero vs. hero factor makes up for what is essentially a silly story: Spidey sees his own name advertised and shows up to perform without question? B
 The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published September, 1964
The Story: The shock of seeing his Aunt May waxing nostalgic about Uncle Ben prompts Peter to have a guilt complex and lose his powers. Unfortunately, it coincides with formation of The Sinister Six (Doc Ock, Sandman, Mysterio, Vulture, Kraven the Hunter, and Electro). Now, Spidey must defeat them in succession in order to rescue Betty Brant and Aunt May.
Introduces: The Sinister Six as a unit.
Analysis: If it were written today, I'd assume it was with a sense of irony, but I don't think that's what Stan had in mind. Instead, we get what is basically a commercial for all the other major comic heroes. Cap, Iron Man, Thor, the X-Men, the Avengers, and the Fantastic Four all make one-panel cameos so their respective titles can be plugged. The actual loss of Spidey's powers is an interesting twist, but the villains' plot is absurd. Sandman actually suggests they all team up to fight Spider-Man at once, but Doc Ock shouts him down and says they will stick with the plan of fighting him one at a time. D'oh! C
 The Amazing Spider-Man #17
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published October 17, 1964
The Story: When Flash Thompson organizes a Spider-Man fan club for all the cats and kittens to join, Liz Allan decides she will do her darndest to get Peter Parker into that club (even above Peter's objections). Meanwhile, Spidey is undergoing some definite teen angst as he foils a robbery only to find that it's part of a movie. Already a laughing stock, Pete sees the problem compounded further when people start worshipping Spidey's teen rival the Human Torch. Things go from bad to worse when the Green Goblin shows up at Flash's Spidey party and Spider-Man has to leave in the middle of a fight because Aunt May's had a heart attack, making him look like a coward.
Historic Moment: Betty decides to cut things off with Peter.
Analysis: The first issue to really ratchet up the problems of being a superhero and a concerned nephew. It's also the first issue to use Aunt May's health problems as an obstacle to Peter being Spider-Man. Plus, add in the frictional relationship between Spidey and the Human Torch and you've got gold. A-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #18
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published November 18, 1964
The Story: New York is abuzz with talk of Spidey's quick exit during his fight with the Green Goblin. The hero community is upset because Spider-Man brought shame on them, the villains are jealous of Goblin's success, and Jonah Jameson is ecstatic that he was right all along. The only two people who still believe Spidey is on the level are Flash Thompson and Johnny Storm. Unfortunately, Flash is so adamant that he dons a Spidey costume in an effort to get Spidey to save him when trouble starts. But when the chips are down, and Peter is questioning himself, it's sickly, old Aunt May who gives him a pep talk.
Introduces: Ned Leeds (unnamed), Betty Brant's new beau.
Errors: Anna Watson is misnamed "Anna Watkins" here. Maybe Aunt May had a stroke or something.
Analysis: Easily one of my favorites from the Lee/Ditko years and the first great issue of Spider-Man. While Peter doubting whether he's even making a difference as Spider-Man has become cliché now, it was still fresh only a year and half into the series. You have to love Flash Thompson's bizarre hero worship of Spidey too, especially when he takes his anger out on Peter. Plus, how can you not love the final page of Pete ripping The Daily Bugle to shreds and donning the costume again?! A+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #19
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Dikto
Originally Published December 19, 1964
The Story: Figuring the world is safe for crime once again, Sandman teams up with the Enforcers to do a little grand larceny and kidnap the Human Torch. Too bad they didn't know Spidey was back on the scene. Pete's personal life also takes an interesting twist as he meets Betty's new boyfriend, Ned Leeds. Awkward.
Introduces: Mac Gargan (unnamed) as a private eye tailing Peter Parker.
Analysis: Things keep rolling along nicely. The Sandman/Enforcers thing is kind of tiresome, but the banter between Spidey and the Torch makes up for it. Not only that, but it's fun to watch Betty's plan to make Pete jealous backfire (and she'd be stuck with Ned for twenty years!). B+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #20
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published January 20, 1965
The Story: Jameson crosses the line into crazed Lex Luthor territory when he pulls private investigator Mac Gargan away from tailing Peter Parker (Jameson wanted to know how Peter got all those great pix) and paying him to undergo a process to make him more powerful. The result is the Scorpion! Of course, as soon as Scorpion realizes he's more powerful than Spider-Man, he turns to a life of crime, and it's all Jameson's fault.
Introduces: Dr. Farley Stillwell, animal researcher.
Analysis: Closer to the earlier issues with a villain topping Spidey before Spidey coming up with a strategy to beat him. The only twist is Jameson being responsible, something which pulls him back to reality a little bit. Lee and Ditko don't seem to know what they want to do with the relationship between Peter and Betty, though, as sometimes Peter is cool with her seeing Ned and sometimes he's secretly jealous. Gee, I wonder how that all turns out. B-
| The 411:A refreshing restart for comic books. No longer were there unbeatable, one-dimensional heroes who laughed in the face of danger. Peter Parker is a real kid with real problems, and that's what set him apart in the beginning. The rogue's gallery is a perfect fit for Spidey, but a lot of the real fun is his interactions with Flash, Liz and the gang. A good, if dated, start for an icon. B+ |
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And we're rolling... - 12.03.2006
The Essential Spider-Man Vol. 1
We all know the story by now. Puny lad, bitten by radioactive spider, gets spider powers but abuses them, causing the death of a loved one. As a result, he develops a crushing sense of responsibility and guilt and spends the rest of his life trying to fight evil.
But, obviously, there's so much more to it than that. Spider-Man became a cultural icon in the 1970s. In fact, in a poll of college students (Ivy Leaguers, at that), Spider-Man ranked right up there with Malcolm X and Che Guevara when respondents were asked who their top political figures were. Well, Spidey went a bit more corporate in the 1980s with a cartoon and several actions figures, but his popularity only grew.
And now, with the turn of the century, Spidey is more popular than ever, with a series of feature films, a reboot in his own series, and an "Unlimited" retelling of the original story, Arachnophila shows no signs of letting up.
So how do you review the history of one of the most recognizable figures of the latter half of the 20th century?
Easy. You start at the beginning.
 Amazing Fantasy #15
Written by: Stan Lee
Illustrated by: Steve Ditko
Originally Published August 15, 1962
The Story: Peter Parker is a shy, unassuming nerd who is loved by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben and virtually no one else (outside of maybe his teachers). He's picked on at school, derided by women, and basically a hapless shmoe. One day, while having fun at an atomic science symposium (and really, who wouldn't?!), Pete is bitten by a spider that has become irradiated by the experiment. Once outside, Pete realizes that he can jump like a spider, cling to walls like a spider, and he has a weird sort of mental acuity soon to be known as "Spider Sense." Like all teenagers, he doesn't really think about what he could do to help mankind, he just wants to make money. He creates a mask and costume to hide his identity and challenges superstar wrestler Crusher Hogan to a match. When a talent agent sees him get over with the crowd, he decides to take this new "Spider-Man" on the road doing tricks and such. Then, one fateful evening, Spider-Man is backstage, just chillin' when a man robs the studio. At a crucial moment, Spidey lets the robber go rather than stick his neck out to help the guard. Later, as Pete returns home, he finds the police. Peter's Uncle Ben has been shot…murdered during a robbery, and the thief is holed up in a warehouse. Pete dons the Spider-Man costume, this time as a hero. Tragically, as Spider-Man corners the robber in the warehouse, he learns that it's the same robber from the studio. Had he just reached out and stopped him, Uncle Ben would be alive. And that's when Pete realizes that with great power comes great responsibility.
History: Amazing Fantasy was a series almost as hapless as Peter Parker. The series was simply a Twilight Zone-ish attempt to do a sci-fi anthology geared toward older readers. It didn't see much success and was redesigned and renamed several times (in fact, this was the only issue to bear the name "Amazing Fantasy" for over 30 years). By the time #15 rolled around, the series was already cancelled, and Marvel decided to let Stan Lee experiment by creating a super-powered teenager who wasn't just a sidekick. The response was overwhelming, and Spidey received his own series after AF was cancelled.
Introduces: Many of the major players. Peter Parker. Aunt May. Uncle Ben. Resident bully Flash Thompson.
Analysis: This is the very definition of "humble beginnings." Because it was just one story of in the issue, Spidey's tale takes up only eleven pages. To say the pace was brisk would be an understatement. Nerd. Bitten. Super powers. Robber. Revenge. That's basically how Lee tells the story. In the ensuing years, the story has been fleshed out and retconned by other writers, but this bare-bones version plays like bad fifties sci-fi (which is basically what it was). C
 The Amazing Spider-Man #1
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published March 1, 1963
The Story: Part One: It's been a rough couple of months since the death of Uncle Ben. Pete and Aunt May are barely making ends meet. Pete tries to resume his showbiz career as Spider-Man but finds he can't cash the checks without proper ID. To make matters worse, The Daily Bugle Editor J. Jonah Jameson begins a smear campaign against Spidey. When Spider-Man saves Jameson's astronaut son John during a botched space mission, it just makes matters worse. Jameson runs a front page story demanding Spider-Man be arrested for setting the whole thing up.
Part Two: Spidey breaks into Fantastic Four HQ hoping to join them and make a little money. After a brief brawl, Reed sets him straight about the FF being a "non-profit" organization. Meanwhile, The Chameleon reasons that Spider-Man must be hard up for cash because he wanted to join the FF (those are some amazing deductive powers). Chameleon decides to frame Spider-Man for stealing some missile defense plans, but Spidey foils him as he's trying to sell them to the Soviets.
Introduces: Super spy The Chameleon, J. Jonah Jameson & John Jameson.
Analysis: This is the a much more traditional Spidey tale. The first part focuses on Pete's inability to cope with his surroundings while the second shows that Spider-Man is, indeed, a bad-ass mofo. This paradigm of weak Parker/strong Spider-Man would continue throughout the Lee/Ditko era. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #2
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published May 2, 1963
The Story: Part One: The mysterious flying criminal known as "The Vulture" replaces Spidey in the headlines, but no one can get a picture of him to publish. That gives Pete an idea – he can snap pictures for cash! A huge fan of irony, Peter Parker decides to sell his photos to Spidey-hater J. Jonah Jameson. When the Vulture announces he will steal some imported diamonds, it's up to Spidey to save the day using his scientific know-how.
Part Two: A crazed old man known as "The Tinkerer" is really part of a (fake) alien conspiracy to put mind-reading devices in all of our radios and TVs so that the aliens can learn human weaknesses. Spidey gets suspicious when the Tinkerer offers him a great deal to fix a radio and decides to investigate. When he learns of the alien plot, Spidey crashes the party and sends the creatures back to their homeworld.
Introduces: The Vulture. Quentin Beck (later known as Mysterio)
Analysis: Both stories introduce the tried-and-true formula that will guide Spidey through his first twenty (or so) issues: Introduce new villain, villain beats Spidey, Spidey uses his scientific acumen to come up with a way to best the villain in their second go-round. Lee and Ditko haven't quite refined Jonah Jameson yet as he's actually quite grateful to Parker for the pictures and actually offers him (**gasp**) a bonus. C+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #3
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published June 3, 1963
The Story: Brilliant physicist Dr. Otto Octavius is involved in a horrible accident that leaves his mechanical arms fused to him both mentally and physically. The accident also warps "Dr. Octopus's" mind, turning him into a bitter criminal. Not only is he a criminal, he's even more powerful than Spidey himself. Spidey is defeated in their first battle and considers giving up being Spider-Man, but thankfully, the Human Torch is in town giving a pep talk to all the teens. Spidey gets back on the horse and uses his wits to defeat Doc Ock in the end.
Introduces: Doctor Octopus.
Analysis: One of Spidey's most enduring villains makes his debut. More than any other villain, Doc Ock is identifiable as sort of the "other side of the coin." Like Peter, he's a brilliant scientist given powers by an experiment gone wrong. Unlike Peter, though, Ock never had that life-changing moment (until much later). B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #4
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published September 4, 1963
The Story: Jonah Jameson's smear campaign is taking its toll on Spidey's reputation. It gets so bad that the police actually start siding with the criminals Spider-Man apprehends. Enter Flint Marko, or "The Sandman" as he calls himself, a criminal with the ability to turn himself into grains of sand (or solidify as hard as granite). How does one get such an ability? Atomic radiation, of course. Spidey rips his mask in their first encounter and has to flee, but he goes back to the drawing board and comes up with the perfect solution – use a vacuum to suck up all of the Sandman's particles. In a subplot, Peter finally gets a date with school beauty Liz Allan but blows it when Sandman shows up.
Introduces: The Sandman, Betty Brant, and BGOC Liz Allan (by name).
Analysis: The story formula is already starting to get tiresome, but at least the villains are cool. Lee was clearly drawing on his love of B-movie clichés and plot devices at this point. Flint is about as "generic 1940s" as you can get with an origin straight out of American International Pictures. This one earns points, though, for the introductions of Betty Brant and Liz Allan, the two first romances of Peter's life. B
 The Amazing Spider-Man #5
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published October 5, 1963
The Story: Thinking that Spider-Man is a menace to society just like himself, Dr. Doom offers him a chance to team up. When Spidey refuses, Doom declares all-out war. Unfortunately for Flash Thompson, he decides to dress as Spidey to play a joke on Peter Parker. When Doom abducts Flash and holds him for ransom, it's up to the real
Spidey to save his longtime tormentor. Spidey's battle with Doom is a virtual draw until Doom's rivals, the Fantastic Four arrive to turn the tide.
Analysis: Flash Thompson's character gets a little more depth as we learn that he has a man-crush on Spider-Man. Transporting a villain from another title is an interesting idea, and one that makes sense given Spidey's close ties with the Fantastic Four. Unlike early issues, though, nothing is really resolved at the end. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #6
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published November 6, 1963
The Story: The hideous creature known as the Lizard is seen stalking the Florida Everglades. When J. Jonah Jameson offers Spidey a reward to face the creature, Pete wrangles his own trip to take the pictures. Spidey discovers that the Lizard is actually brilliant researcher Curtis Connors, who accidentally turned himself into the creature while trying to grow back his amputated arm.
Introduces: The Lizard
Analysis: The first story to take Spidey out of his element, and it works. Connors is another one of those cautionary "that could be Spider-Man" tales (and, in fact, it would be as Spidey mutated later in the series only to have Connors save him). Plus, it's more Parker 90210 as Liz falls in love with Spider-Man. I don't think I'm in the minority when I say Peter's personal life is as interesting as Spider-Man's heroism. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #7
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Original Published December 7, 1963
The Story: The Vulture escapes from his prison* and goes on a crime spree. The neutralizer Spidey used to foil him last time won't work on Vulture's new wings, and Spidey gets a sprained elbow for his trouble. Now, he has to figure out how to defeat the Vulture while explaining his injury to Aunt May and the gang.
(*see ASM #2, I've always wanted to do that!)
Analysis: Basically the same Vulture story as before only with Spidey fighting with one arm tied behind his back. Thankfully, we get more of Pete and Betty's budding romance, which is really kind of sweet. B-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #8
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published January 8, 1964
The Story: Part One: Scientists from the ICM Corporation construct "The Living Brain," a robot that can answer any question if given enough data. When the other students ask the brain who Spider-Man is, Peter gets a bit nervous. Things take a turn for the worse when a couple of crooks try to steal the Brain for themselves only to have it go haywire and start mayhem. In a subplot, Peter finally gets sick of Flash's barbs and agrees to settle things in a boxing match. Unfortunately, Flash is distracted at just the wrong time, making it look like Peter suckerpunched him, thus earning the disdain of Liz and the others.
Part Two: The B-story is just filler to showcase Spidey and the Human Torch. Spidey picks a fight with Torch, who is always in the spotlight.
Analysis: One of my favorite early issues, even if it only has a one-shot "villain." The interplay between Flash and Peter is great, and the best moment of the series so far comes when Peter is able to turn everything that's been happening into a rib on poor Thompson. The second section with Spidey and the Torch is good too, especially since they will be friendly rivals for most of Spidey's first few years. A-
 The Amazing Spider-Man #9
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published February 9, 1964
The Story: When electrical worker Max Dillon is struck by lightning while up on a pole, he develops the ability to harness electricity and dubs himself Electro. Using his newfound abilities, Max sets out on a life of crime. Jonah Jameson sees this as an opportunity to sell more papers, so he claims that Electro is actually Spider-Man. Peter would like to prove otherwise, but Aunt May is in the hospital and needs an operation. Meanwhile, things between Pete and Betty begin to get more serious.
Introduces: Electro
Analysis: Lee and Ditko finally hit their stride by mixing in more of Peter's personal life with the usual formula. Spidey's method of defeating Electro is pretty simple (I'll give you a hint; it involves rubber boots), but the coda with Betty breaking down into tears because she fears for Peter's (not Spider-Man's) life is what makes this issue so great. We also learn that Betty dropped out of high school to get a job. See, she's more than just a pretty face. B+
 The Amazing Spider-Man #10
W: Stan Lee
I: Steve Ditko
Originally Published March 10, 1964
The Story: A bunch of hoods known as The Enforcers do some petty crime stuff while taking orders from the mysterious masked "Big Man." It turns out Betty Brant borrowed some money from a lone shark, and the Enforcers now own that marker. That pulls Spidey and Peter Parker smack dab in the middle of organized crime.
Introduces: Frederick Foswell, The Enforcers
Analysis: The Enforcers are just another of Stan Lee's 1940s crime movie fetishes, but the story is pretty good for deepening the characters of Betty, Flash and Jolly Jonah. Betty cuts off all ties with Peter so he doesn't get hurt by the Enforcers. Peter takes this as her not loving him and becomes depressed. Flash shows some uncharacteristic (until now) touches by showing up to visit Aunt May in the hospital and expressing concern for Peter's well-being (albeit out of sight so he doesn't ruin his rep). And finally, we get a reason for Jonah's hatred of Spider-Man: Spider-Man fights evil in a way that Jonah can only dream about, so Jonah thinks of himself as inferior. Lee and Ditko finally begin to move the stories from month to month instead of writing them as self-contained units. Just why did Betty borrow that money? You gotta read to find out. B
| The 411: Good start so far in spite of the dated writing and art. This represents only half the book, though. More to come. |
Send Feedback to J.D. Dunn |
|
And we're rolling... - 11.18.2006
The Death of Jean DeWolff
 Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-man #107, #108, #109, #110 (Oct. 1985-Jan. 1986)
Written by: Peter David
Penciled by: Rick Buckler
Editor-in-Chief: Tom DeFalco
The Story
It's hard to believe it's been over twenty years since Peter David first burst onto the scene with this gem of a storyline. Hardly a traditional Spidey tale, "The Death of Jean DeWolff" plays more like a 1970's detective drama á la Death Wish or Dirty Harry. The big fight scenes don't even take place between Spider-man and the villain but between Spidey and guest star Daredevil.
David manages to squeeze in a lot of philosophy to the story, and it is a question that's still relevant today — if heroes can do anything they want in the name of their own personal view of heroism, what really separates them from the villain? It's a series of questions we're still dealing with at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. Do you follow your own moral code when deciding an enemy's fate, or stick with a pre-determined set of societal laws? What if that system of laws fails? Who are you to decide, unilaterally, that someone should live or die?
Complex stuff for a book that's supposed to be targeted toward "semi-literate adults and children."
David opens the story with a brief look back at the life of Jean DeWolff. DeWolff was a rare police ally for Spidey, and there was always a hint of sexual chemistry between them. We see in the flashbacks through her life, though, why nothing ever became of it. Jean DeWolff was a driven woman — driven by her own desire (and that of her stepfather) to become the first female police commissioner. In order to do that, she felt she had to play things close to the cuff the way a man would, masking her emotions.
 It's amazing what a skilled writer and artist can do in just two short pages.
The real story opens with police kicking down the door to Jean's apartment and finding her slumped backward in bed, her insides blown out by a shotgun blast at close range. Her murder sends ripples throughout NYC. The police department wants revenge for their popular captain. The citizens are frightened by the thought and often caught in the path of the well-meaning but overbearing police force. In the media, J. Jonah Jameson has to balance his conservative "law & order" values against his general dislike for DeWolf. "Hitler deserved to die," Jonah tells Robbie Robertson in a nice private conversation. "And so do assassins and cop killers. Scum like that. Whatever else he is, Spider-man is *not* one of those." It's little moments like this where characters are forced to reevaluate their world view that elevates this above your standard fare.
 Spider-man, of course, is devastated. This is post-Gwen Stacy and pre-marriage for Peter Parker, so when one of his closest allies is killed, it hits that much closer to home. In a rare (and some would say out-of-character) moment for Spider-man, he decides to work as closely with the police as possible, risking his own identity to catch Jean's killer. That leads him to Stan Carter, a dedicated-but-wry cop who's been assigned to the case. Carter tells Spidey that he'll let him in on the case because Jean always spoke so highly of him.
Meanwhile, quite by happenstance, Spidey crosses paths with guest star Daredevil — or, I suppose I should say Peter Parker crosses paths with Matt Murdock. Murdock successfully defends three hoodlums that assaulted Aunt May's boyfriend Ernie Popchik. Because Spidey apprehended them in the act and therefore knows they're guilty, Pete is outraged at this miscarriage of justice and confronts Murdock about it.
The whole scene sets the stage for the philosophical theme of the book. Pete, whose own father-figure was killed by a random act of violence, has always taken the responsibility on himself to see that justice was done. Matt Murdock, on the other hand, whose father was killed by an organized hit, sees everything as a system, and the system, no matter how imperfect, must be preserved at all costs.
When the so-called "Sin Eater" kills Murdock's mentor, Judge Rosenthal, it draws both heroes into the case. Sin Eater escapes Spidey's clutches, sending Pete into yet another spiral of shame and responsibility. "If he kills someone else, it'll be my fault," he tells Stan Carter. It's not long before ballistics confirms that the same gun killed Jean and Judge Rosenthal, and Spidey notes that he saw the Sin Eater carrying Jean's badge like a trophy.
 Stan and Spidey bond over memories of Jean, and Stan mentions that he's no normal flatfloor; he was actually an agent of SHIELD. He also mentions that some thugs killed his partner six months ago, and even though he caught them, he can still empathize with Spidey's sense of guilt.
Meanwhile, the list of victims and suspects begins to add up. We see an unknown man confessing to the killings at a Catholic church before the priest himself winds up getting blown away by the Sin Eater. An angry southern reverend stirs up anger toward the police at the Daily Bugle and in the public. And, in a most interesting portrayal, Ernie Popchik becomes a trigger-happy subway vigilante after his attack by those thugs. Plus, we have the usual suspects like J. Jonah Jameson himself who has always had a stiff, conservative law-and-order streak in him and always seems to pop up in speculation when a new masked meanie appears.
Daredevil and Spidey continue to investigate in their own separate manners. Spidey extorts a drug dealer for info, smashes up a local bar, and attacks the Kingpin's henchmen, none of which sits well with Daredevil who prefers to work within the system.
When the Sin Eater storms the Daily Bugle looking for Jonah Jameson, Pete manages to take him down without spoiling his secret identity. The meek little man the police bring in tells them that he heard voices at night telling him who, when and where the people were going to die.
However, Daredevil has to be a spoilsport with news that the man they caught isn't the real Sin Eater but a copycat, which he can tell by the differences in their heartbeats. Spidey, who was ready to hang Gregg, agrees to humor Daredevil and search Gregg's apartment. That's when they make a disturbing discovery: Gregg has been living next to Stan Carter…the real Sin Eater! Our heroes find the Sin Eater costume and a recorded journal in Stan's apartment. Daredevil theorizes that Gregg, who was already mentally unstable, heard Stan's journal through the thin walls and convinced himself the voices were talking to him.
 Spidey remembers that Gregg said he intentionally went to the Bugle hoping to get caught. The voices actually told him to go to Jameson's home later that night. True enough, Sin Eater shows up at Jameson's house, but Jameson is in Florida and Betty Leeds is staying with Jameson's wife. The last images we see in issue three of the story are Betty Leeds' frightened eyes and the Sin Eater's shotgun blast blowing a hole in her chair.
Thankfully, Betty was able to duck out of the way, and the Sin Eater explains to her that he "killed the priest because he opposed capital punishment," "killed the judge because he coddled criminals," and killed Jean DeWolff "because he felt like it." Spider-man arrives on the scene and brutalizes Stan Carter while a horrified Betty Leeds looks on. Daredevil realizes Spidey is fully capable of killing Carter and makes Spidey turn his aggressions on him instead of the Sin Eater. Spidey is so enraged that Daredevil is able to subdue him (It's a rarity to see a hero defeated in his own title.).
The aftermath of Stan's capture is no less harrowing. The public, who already had a strong mistrust of the police force, is outraged that a cop was the killer all along. It doesn't help matters when a SHIELD agent shows up to explain that Stan will probably be found incompetent to stand trial because he was a SHIELD guinea pig during a time when they were experimenting with PCP. His mind has been fried from the drugs.
 An angry mob storms the police station to tear Carter apart, a prospect that Spidey doesn't think is so bad. Daredevil begs Spider-man for help and is finally forced to reveal that he knows Spidey's real identity. That revelation makes Spidey realize that while he might be able to live with allowing Stan Carter's death, Peter Parker definitely could not. "Much as it hurts…I'm supposed to be one of the good guys," he tells Jean's stepfather as he saves Carter's life.
In the end, Daredevil reveals his own secret identity to Spider-man, and the two manage to reconcile their disagreements. "We have to have our system, Peter," Murdock sums up over tea. "We don't just ignore it."
And, of course, with great power comes great responsibility.
Key Themes
Justice vs. Vigilantism: This one isn't even hidden in subtext. Daredevil represents "the system" and Spidey represents the free-floating anger in society when the system doesn't work. I don't know if you can cleanly boil it down to "liberal vs. conservative," but it comes pretty darn close. It's a question that gets replayed over and over in science fiction and comics (Buffy vs. Faith, Kirk vs. Spock, Batman vs. Superman).
The argument is played out again and again throughout the four issues between Spidey and Daredevil and between Peter Parker and Matt Murdock. Writer Peter David, in his first major arc, always lets Daredevil win the argument. One could argue that's because Murdock is a lawyer and able to verbally outwit Peter, but given the outcome of the story and Pete's reconciliation of his beliefs, it's pretty clear where David stands himself.
No matter which side you're on, the argument seems to come down to two epithetical defenses. Each side is either a "fascist" or an "appeaser." Watch "Hannity & Colmes" some night while they're debating the treatment of detainees or the use of wiretapping. (Unless Ann Coulter's on, then it will be "treasonous appeaser" followed by an eyeroll and a hair toss.)
I won't pretend that you'll find solutions to the question in a book that used to have ads for "X-ray goggles that really work!" I only bring it up to show that this is a serious question that we've been debating for years.
Interestingly enough, the same dynamic would play out with Spider-man and the Punisher, only with the Punisher making Spidey look like Gandhi by comparison.
News & Pop Culture
I don't think anyone has brought more of a feel of "meta-fiction" to comics as Peter David has, and it's evident right away here. Although previous writers have brought current events into the Spidey series (Harry Osborn's battles with LSD spring immediately to mind), none have involved them in quite the same way as David does.
The "Reverend Jackson Tolliver" is a thinly veiled ode to Jesse Jackson, right down to a passing mention of him making national news in the slayings of children of Atlanta. At the time this was written, Jackson was seen as a rising star of the Democratic Party, making runs at the presidential nomination in 1984 and 1988. If the story is any indication, Peter David doesn't have much love for Jackson, portraying Jackson Tolliver as a reactionary rabble rouser who causes more harm than good.
Ernie Popchik's B-story was taken from the real-life Bernie Goetz subway shootings. Goetz had been mugged at least twice before on the train and frightened off two more attempts by brandishing his gun. But in 1984, a group of four young men accosted Goetz asking him for money. The incident was a benchmark moment in the criminal system because it showed just how bad the crime rate in New York had gotten. Although at the time, there was some argument over whether the young men were just panhandling and Goetz overreacted or if they truly meant to rob him, one of the boys later confessed that their intent that day was to rob him. The case is also notable for Goetz firing another bullet into 19 year-old Darrel Cabey's stomach after the man had already been felled by a shot. Many viewed this as sadistic overkill on Goetz's part.
Even Charles Bronson makes a non-speaking cameo, and if that doesn't give you enough of an idea of the style of this story, nothing will. In fact, the whole story serves as a snapshot of New York in the 1980s with Reaganomics and Cuomonomics pushing against one another and creating a bizarre air of economic, political and societal mistrust. At this point, the classes were virtually at each other's throats (yes, even more so than now), and it manifested itself in anger at authority, anger at the government, and anger at other races. All of this plays out in some form in the story.
Erratum
The trade paperback reprint has a transposition of pages 91 and 92, interrupting the continuity of a key fight scene.
| The 411: One of the shining achievements of comic book writing. It doesn't focus on any of the usual Spider-man villains (Doc Ock, the Green Goblin, or Venom), but it instead focuses on who Peter Parker is and what he thinks about the world going on around him. It also raises questions of what it truly means to be a hero. An important first step for a writer that would eventually establish himself as a comic book legend. A |
|
|
And we're rolling... - 09.27.2006
I haven't gotten to all of them yet (nearly three pages of yahoo mail in just two days), but I'm working on them.
I'll craft a response when I have time, but I just thought you might like to read what others were saying.
I agree with you 100%. Also, it doesn't appear that he'll do any actual wrestling any time soon. In addition to that, he'll only be wrestling a few times a month, like you said. Keep up the great work.
I have said it a million times, there is no way in hell to please the Internet Wrestling Community. I am one of the vast majority of fans excited for this sudden arrival of Kurt Angle in TNA. Not since...God knows when as a wrestling fan, have I been surprised like I was at No Surrender. Dixie Carter is a smart business woman and she did the right thing. TNA needed a man like Kurt Angle and Angle breathes everything TNA has been offering. TNA from its inception has been the "wrestling" promotion. The X Division, the main events, its all wrestling no stupid crap except recently with the Jackass movie, but still Kurt Angle fits with TNA like a glove. He will be wrestling a light schedule and will be doing what he loves. Nobody especially the 12 to 20 year old babies on the internet can try to blame Dixie Carter. This is Kurt Angle's decision. Not hers. He could have said no, but he didnt. Why? Because he loves wrestling and at 37 he can wipe the ring with mostly all the all time greats. Angle in TNA is the start of a big rise or so we all hope. It's just a matter of time until TNA is headed into a new direction and that is to the top. So to all the babies that think they own Kurt Angle, kiss my ass! lol. Kurt Angle owns himself and decided to flip off the WWE and go to TNA... believe me if a few years ago Tna would have been up, the day Stone Cold walk out it could have been the same picture.
That was a brilliant article on Angle. It sums up exactly how I feel on the whole situation. It's the same when TNA signed Sting for a reported large sum of money. 'TNA can't afford it!' they said. Hey, it's not your money, you don't own the company so shut the hell up!
Now people who have the privilege to post on internet message boards think they know what is right for a man they know NOTHING about. It makes me sick really. So you see the guy on TV, big f'n deal. You are not is wife, family, close friend, management, you are NOTHING to him. This man is a clearly driven individual who has a passion to wrestle and entertain people. Just enjoy it people, stop being so critical and cynical.
Well done on having the guts to bitch slap the self-righteous members of the IWC, they need it sometimes.
Thanks,
Well Dunn, JD Dunn. Yeah, that is all I have to say. Very well thought out, very well written article.
Great commentary!
You asked what gives people the judge whether or not Kurt Angle should
wrestle?
This is the IWC baby! It's true, it's damn true! Aw, you didn't know?
Everyone in the IWC is a friggin' expert on everything! Reading around,
you'd think all these people know Vince personally, based on how
everyone seems to "know" his motivations for everything he does and
every crap he takes!
Hell, that's what the internet is for - a platform for all the experts
who know everything about everything in this world, yet no one else
seems to listen to!
"Hallowed halls" and "IWC" in the same sentence was a great oxymoron!
Seriously, good commentary. Kurt's a big boy. If he's in denial about
an alleged drug problem, that's his cross to bear, and he'll be the one to
deal with the consequences if it's actually true. The rest of it is all
speculation (another IWC specialty) and none of anyone's damn business
anyway!
Good call on the ass-backwards handling of this tremendous news by the IWC. Sure, Angle could injure himself seriously and never compete again. Or even die. But he did it to himself, doing what he loved, for people that he loved. That doesn't happen alot these days. If Kurt does permanently cripple himself, that will be the price of his lifestyle, and I'm sure he'll lament his own crazed passion, but nonetheless maintain that passion in whatever capacity he can. Which is what he is doing right now.
And TNA is the better show, because they listen to fans. And that is why I don't think they will mishandle Angle's health.
But I do worry about this Russo business... why is no one up in arms about this maniac?
Keep up the good work.
First off, I love your raw recaps purely for the fact that you inject
some personallity and opinions in them. They are top notch.
Second off, I agree with everything you said about Kurt, except...
1. I don't need a fucking medical degree to tell you that wrestling
with a (2x) broken neck is dangerous. Don't insult my intelligence.
2. I get my information from da Meltz, and so do you and so does
everyone else you know, so the day you consider him unrealiable then you are in
business.
3. Kurt can sign autographs, get a reality show or dig ditches for all
I care. To paraphrase a line from the movie 48 Hours. "Jack you act
like they took you down the to guidence counciler and made you take a test
and the only thing you were qualified for was a criminal." I'm sure Kurt
can find something else to do with his life. Its not like his well-being
lives or dies on being a wrestler.
That being said, I wish Kurt the best in whatever he does. If working
an easier schedule works out for him and I can see him wrestle for 5 or
more years, then I am happy. After all, no one knows better than he does
what kind of shape hes in.
THANK YOU for your article. People need to get off their moral high horses. Especially considering these are the same people who probably would have been thrilled if Kurt had taken three or four months off then returned to a heinous WWE schedule. They don't want what's best for Kurt Angle. They want to be right, they want to predict something, and then if said prediction comes to fruition, they want to be able to say they called it. It's self-indulgent Chicken Littling at a man who has the ability to make his own decisions.
Dude I totally agree w/ you. These people have been whining like babies
and it blows me bc all of their collective outrage is really just based
on speculations and "facts" that they read on the internet. In that
statement I don't mean to downplay the IWC but these people do not know
kurt's own body more than he does himself. I love kurt as a wrestler
and would hate to see him get hurt but in the end its his life and you have
to assume grown men know what they are doing and if they don't or jus
don't care whatcha gonna do? Def not blog about it for weeks on
end....keep up the good work, I love the rawtopsy dude.
Thank GOD, man, someone had to say it.
That article was great, keep up the good work.
It's rare that I shoot an email out to an internet columnist. It's even
more rare for me to do so if the writer is involved with the IWC. Yet
still, I find myself sending this. Your points about Kurt Angle were
100% spot-on.
I had no clue that TNA had signed Angle, and like millions of fans,
only found out while watching the PPV.
The TNA fan inside me popped and marked out, truly happy. For the first
time in years, a "major announcement" lived up to the hype.
Of course, now the thrill of that moment is over. It's a few days
later, and the rush has worn off. All my wrestling fan friends know about
it, and we've talked it to death. Now the harsh reality is coming
through. Kurt Angle may or may not have a drug problem. I don't claim to know
whether he does or not. Kurt Angle may or may not be risking paralysis
or his life, moreso than the average wrestler. Again, I don't claim to
know whether he does or does not.
Should Kurt Angle truly have a drug problem, we might very well see a
Jeff Hardy-like degradation of skills and performance. We might very
well see a Jake Roberts-like meltdown. And let's face it, the IWC will eat
it up. 411 will be loaded with every self-important columnist giving
his or her spin on it.
Even worse, if the absolute worst case scenario should happen, and Kurt
Angle should be paralyzed or killed in a TNA ring, the ghouls will be
out in full force, crucifying everyone potentially involved, all the
while linking in their articles to clips on youtube of the horrific
moment.
I'm not a religious man by any stretch of the imagination, but for the
sake of Kurt Angle, his family, TNA, and the wrestling industry as a
whole, I pray that nothing happens.
You alluded to the self-importance that many members of the IWC have,
and you're spot-on. When you're not directly involved in a situation,
it's easy to say what should or should not have been done. Hindsight is
20/20. The IWC loves to look back at various situations and say what
should have been done. With rare exception, they never point out that
their own booking/signing decisions would have been impractical or simply
undoable.
This Kurt Angle signing is one such situation. TNA wants to be
considered "legitimate". TNA wants ratings. In the WWE dominated world, there's
only one way for any fed to make headlines, and that's to sign an
established star. Signing someone from Japan has limited value, as only
lifelong fans will care about Jyushin Thunder Lyger being signed or on a
card. Signing an up and comer out of Japan or Mexico will only appeal to
the hardcore fans who follow wrestling with a fervourous passion.
The only viable choice is to sign ex-WWE stars. That's rough, because
the WWE keeps anyone with a shred of name-recognition or talent, unless
they really screw up. Kurt Angle was really the only viable
high-profile signing they could make. Sure, I guess they could have thrown waaaay
too much money and gotten Goldberg, but the attitude issues he's got,
along with the lack of talent makes him less than attractive. Angle is
still capable in the ring, and has something to prove. This is a guy
who'll have a match of the year candidate, especially if he only has to
wrestle 3 times a month.
Sorry to have ranted so long in the email, hope I didn't bore you too
much.
Thank you. I have said many things similar to this on forums all over
the internet, and I thank you for saying it on 411, especially considering
a blind and paternalising article emerged on 411 earlier. I agree 100%
with what you have said.
Kurt Angle is a man, and he can make his decisions. Who are we to
question his health? He can do that. Those close to him can do that. My only
connection to Kurt Angle is as "wrestling fan". If Angle provides me
with good wrestling, I won't complain. I don't wish harm on the man, but if
he wants to give his body to this business, good on him. As a fan of the
business, I thank him. Kurt Angle is one of the few men who can change
the face of the industry, and he had the balls to get up and do it. He
didn't pack his bags and go home, or sit collecting large paychecks from the
top company. Kurt Angle is the anti-Hulk Hogan, or the anti-Undertaker, or
even the anti-Ric Flair. He is going to go to a promotion that needs a major
star, and it is going to make the industry a better place to work.
I don't pretend to know anything about Kurt Angle's health. Some make
it out to be that he could crumble apart in the shower if he turns it on too
hard.
I seriously doubt that. Angle may be a walking medicine cabinet, but if
that's what he needs to push himself, I'm all for it. I don't know
enough about pain-killers and steroids to relate the risk, but I'm sure Kurt
knows what he is doing.
My guess, Vince McMahon released Kurt Angle because he failed the drug
policy, and told Vince to go screw himself when McMahon approached him
about it. Vince didn't want controversy with his policy, so he exaggerated
the injury issues Kurt Angle has, and has made him seem like the stick
people make him out to be. I doubt Angle's manager would even consider letting
him get into MMA if that was the case. Angle has been on pain-killers since
the Olympics, and he's become one of the greatest professional wrestlers of
all-time since then. Doesn't Edge have a broken neck? Didn't he just
flip off a ladder through two tables last week?
My theory on Vince releasing Kurt because Angle wouldn't conform makes
about as much sense as the "caring" thing. We don't know, we can only
speculate.
Let's just look at the facts. Kurt fucking Angle is now in TNA.
As far as I'm concerned, if Angle feels right to compete, those close
to Angle have no major objections, and TNA itself is ready to let him go,
Kurt Angle is the healthiest man in the world. There is always a risk in
wrestling, and if you want to mother one wrestler, why don't we mother
the others. "No, Elix! Don't run along the top of that cage!".
Kurt Angle in TNA is the best thing that has happened in professional
wrestling for a while, and I hope it really does pay off for Kurt Angle
and TNA. And if somehow Kurt is close to death, I think he'd know so, and
I'd say he wants to die whilst on the TNA Roster. Who am I to tell a man
how he should die?
Kurt Angle is fine, in my opinion, and he will be until PROVEN
otherwise. He is currently the best wrestler in the world, and he is currently on the "alternative" to the dominant promotion. Things are about to get
interesting.
HAN DID SHOOT FIRST
I just wanted to say.... THANK YOU! It's about time to hear a voice of reason in the IWC. I swear I felt that I must be the only one on the planet who though Angle could take care of himself and that people were reading far too much on vauge internet reports from when he was fired from the WWE.
Odd... your the first one I've read who agrees with my view that Kurt can take care of himself, and your also a libertarian just like I am. I guess it has to do with that whole "personal responsibility" belief then.
So once again Thank you! And keep writing, I'll keep reading
THANK YOU!! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY HERO!! Thank God for a man with an opinion such as yourselves. Someone has to put these "moral" assholes down. I am a firm believer in morality and ethics, but I also am a firm believer of knowing when a grown ass man can make his own decisions in life. You want to see opinions of assholes with tightened morality chastity belts? Go on the Ring Of Honor message board, on their official website. A few honestly said that they would stop watching ROH if Gabe decided to book Angle, out of "concern" for his safety. I don't know how not watching a wrestling product protects Angle, but whatever. I don't know about those assholes, but I am super excited for Angle in TNA, and I am coming along for the ride. Oh yeah, my opinion is real, it's DAMN REAL!!! Sorry. Take care!
I just wanted to say that I jst finished reading your article and that feel it is very when written and had a lot of thought but into it.
I can understand why so many fans are concerned about the wellnes of Kurt Angle, but as you point out, it was his choice to pursue a career in wrestling. Worse things could have happened than haing Kurt sign with TNA; he could have signed with CZW.
All in all, I believe that the concern so many wrestling fans have for Kurt Angel is driven by fear. I believe that this fear comes from the fact that in 2005, Eddie Guerrero passed away unexpectedly. More to the point, I believe that fans do not want to see Kurt Angle die in the ring like Owen Hart in 1999 or "Iron" Mike DiBiase 30 years prior in 1969. To that extent, I think that fans also don't want to see him go the way that Art Barr did in 1994 or the way that Brian Pillman did in 1997.
All in all, we live in a fear driven society with glimmers of hope here and there. Quite frankly, Kurt Angle has found his glimmer of hope and it looks like he is going to hold onto it for all that he's got.
I finished reading Larry's bastardizing of TNA for hiring Angle and while I agreed that it reeked of TNA's desperation, my initial reaction was almost exactly yours in this article. What really bothered me was the consistent bringing up of Eddie Guerrero in the IWC recently. Last I checked, Eddie died of a heart attack, in a hotel with no apparent symptoms. He didn't die in the ring mid-suplex like everyone is anticipating with Angle. Meanwhile Kurt was going to have a career ending injury before WM 19 but then put on a 5 star match at WM 21. The point you made about Billy Graham is 100% dead on...this business, pro wrestling is about dedicating your life to it and these guys for the most part are there. Jericho wasn't, that is why he is off on reality TV. Look at Hogan for crying out loud. Nobody says Hogan should leave and save himself a life threatening injury since he cant walk or move anymore, and he is in his mid 50's!!! Thank you for at least giving Kurt Angle a voice where apparently the IWC conscience decided the TNA was evil and Kurt was a dead man walking, thanks for having the guts to say he had a choice in this.
You hit it on the nail my man – great read! It took balls to right that – watch your back man!!
Take care
Absolutely spot on, on this whole Kurt Angle story. I can't believe
how so many people could claim to be Kurt Angle fans and in a moments notice
turn on him because he did what he feels is best for him and his family.
Ive observed people in the same breath spouting ridiculous lines such as:
I love Kurt so much and am really worried for him, and then in the same
breath curse him, and say that bastard Ive lost all respect I had for him.
Its amazing isnt it?
THANK YOU!!!
On a message board, I have been having a go-nowhere discussion with
someone because of Anglegate.
I see people saying how Kurt Angle will join the ranks of Davey Boy
Smith, Curt Henning, Mike Lockwood, etc. Yet no one can answer why the
Wellness Program was only brought into effect after Eddie Guerrero's
very highly publicized but still unfortunate death.
No one can answer how the changes to the Wellness Plan to keep another
Great American Bash from happening is a good thing. "Oh, working
without pay is the ultimate insult." No, being told "Well, you're on
pain killers you don't have perscriptions for, but we have a match
that's been built around you for six weeks now, so instead of getting
some rest, just go out there and perform without the pain killers, we
won't pay you for it, and we'll call it even."
The Wellness Plan is in effect because Vince McMahon has to answer to
shareholders. And changes are being made to provide the company's best
interest, not the talent's.
"Oh, WWE fired Kurt Angle because he wouldn't stop working so much!"
No. WWE fired Kurt Angle to get rid of a liability. If an Olympic Gold
Meadlist died in there ring with the history of tragedies WWE has, I'm
sure some sort of investigation would begin and find things that
McMahon doesn't necessarily want seen.
And let's not forget that WWE had ordered him to take time off, but
called him back! WWE had the option to make sure he sat out to take
care of himself, and they called him back to help the ECW brand. In
fact wasn't he supposed to become a part-time talent until they
decided to put him in the main event lineup of ECW?
And then he was fired. From what I understand it turned out to be
rather heated. I would imagine that when Angle learned he was being
terminated for liability reasons, he blew up at the thought of busting
his ass for a company that overshadowed his own personal happiness.
Now, after Angle signed with TNA (which I'm certain no one put a gun
to his head when he did so) the upstart promotion is now more evil
than Satan.
Did anyone read Angle's press release? About how he's happy? He says
TNA saved his career and his life. Did anyone stop to think that
wrestling two or three a month might be just the schedule he needs?
Did anyone stop to think that he's not even wrestling until at least
after Bound for Glory? He's not even in the match, he's a ringside
enforcer. Ringside!
Also, TNA management knows what they got into. Most likely Angle will
get the same schedule as Sting and Jarrett, working very few dates.
TNA also made a significant investment and cannot afford to have the
negative media backlash that would come with a disaster, or pay an
injured person to sit on the sidelines for a year.
I just don't see how a company that is offering Kurt Angle the rest he
needs while offering fewer dates and still offering him a living doing
what he has come to love is any more, if as evil as the WWE has been
to their talent in the past.
And finally, if people still don't agree, then they need to not
support TNA. And they need to not support Angle. And by that I mean
not watch broadcasts, buy the PPV events, visit the website, buy the
DVDs, all of it. They shouldn't watch TNA and sit on the edge of their
couch wondering if Angle will get up from the bump he took just to say
"I told you, he's dead!" Because if those ratings go up during Kurt's
match, then Kurt will be thrust further into the spotlight.
Oh and they can also let him make his own decisions... he's a grown
freakin' man. It's true. It's damn true.
That was a great article that I am glad to finally see on the internet. While I know TNA may be desperate for big business but I'm pretty sure they saw this through and made sure Kurt would be ok. Besides I doubt hes going to work for a while maybe not until they're big debut on their prime time slot and by work I mean an actual match not just being there because I believe hes still getting over a couple of injuries. I never believed he was going to retire and go away from any form of fighting I really believe he would have been back in the WWE by Wrestlemania anyways. I don't buy Vince was that worried maybe past experience with his other wrestlers make me a skeptic but in this case yes he may have done it for kurt for the time being, but remember they said in their release statements they would look forward to having him back in the near future all I think they did was get caught thinking Kurt would never sign anywhere else so they let him go so he could rest and instead he did an end around and jumped ship. By the way the thing that confused me I thought that when they cut their wrestlers they have to sign a 90 day no compete contract obviously in this case they didn't have one for Angle thats why I think they were cocky that they would have him back soon. Also all this crying about his physical health and that the WWE worries about their wrestlers health doesn't shawn michaels and rey misterio need knee surgery and have needed it for months now? Your point about Hogan was well needed the backlash I doubt will last long the ratings will bail them out. I hope I'm not proven wrong about this and I am worried about it maybe happening probably because of the IWC saying it but heres to hoping we're not proven wrong. Thanks.
Howdy!
Well I read your article and thank god it was
different from everything else I have been reading
lately.
I think there are some things that someone out there
needs to clarify about current wrestling before I go
into what I think.
WWE is a publicly traded company. Vince is out to
please stockholders, the general populace who will buy
the stock and his board of directors, not wrestling
fans. Lets understand this to a T. That means,
anything that might be deemed as ultra violent is
pretty much out, hence the watered down ECW product.
Not to mention Vince has this belief about the FMW/IWA
style of wrestling anyway, that is why hurt yourself
too much so on and so forth.
Bit of a rabbit trail there but I had to get that off
my chest. I wish people would understand that Vince
doesnt care about what the fans want. He cares about
what his shareholders want. They arent a wrestling
company any longer.
Okay now, on to Kurt Angle. Im wondering how much
truth there is to a lot of what is circulating out
there in the IWC as far as what really is going on
with this man. While I dont doubt the man may be
using something (According to Csonka its HGH, but yet
Between the ropes, who are very outspoken and verbal
on juice have yet to mention that Angle is using HGH
due to a change in headsize..) we dont know for sure
what it could be.
Injuries happen on the road, especially on a WWE
schedule. Now the odd thing is they want to be an
Entertainment company, yet they have an old school
road schedule. Go figure. But was Angle actually
hurt that many times in that last match? Or was he
smoke screening because TNA had already gotten in
touch with him and was discussing a possible jump.
Maybe it was all an act to get WWE to release him.
Maybe Angle sees the writing on the wall and
understood that WWE is the land of Triple H and not
any true chance to excel in pro wrestling.
A lighter schedule would save his marriage possibly.
But honestly who cares because we dont know the whole
story. I know in my own failed marriage no one truly
knew all the shit we put each other through and the
whats and whys of why we split up. In the end it was
our own business and was the best thing for us both.
A lighter schedule would also save his health if it
truly is that bad. In the end Kurt is a grown man and
I am hopeful that this will put TNA over the top,
garner some big ratings and start to sink the Titanic
that is WWE.
Vince may think his empire is unsinkable but if you
had told me 10 years ago that WCW would be bought out
by WWF, I would have called you crazy. I thought WCW
was unsinkable and look what happened.
Anyway, I totally agree with you and hope that angle
does well.
Thanks for reading my rambling and I hope to see a
response.
I think the reality of the whole situation falls somewhere in between what everyone thinks. I'm pretty sure Kurt just got caught with a bunch of illegal roids and, at first, the WWE released this whole "injury and fatigue" thing to give a good worker his dignity. Cut to a few days later when Kurt signs with TNA and the WWE reports that he's "aggressive" and an "emotional wreck".
Can Angle work without killing himself? Put me down for $100. Is he on the juice? Put me down for $500.
I feel that both your article and Douglas Nunnally's are way too extreme in both directions. All that said, your piece was absolutely hilarious and some of those references were pure genius. Thanks for the laughs.
Just to keep it nice and simple,
Your nothing special yourself.
If you don’t care on how people "care" for someone else's well being, why should we care on you "scolding" us on giving a damn about it?
You were a cool guy that I enjoy reading your stuff until now.
Oh well.
I'm a long time 411 reader and I must say that your argument was very
well done and one of the best I've ever heard. I agree with you that Kurt
Angle is a grown man and makes his own decisions in life. I also find it
ironic how some people will blast TNA for hiring Angle, but they will be the
same people that will tune in to see what he is up to on Thursday nights.
I don't have a lot of time since I'm pretty busy with work so I don't
respond to a lot of articles on 411. However, I felt this argument was good
enough to get a response. I hope you don't get a lot of hate mail (unless of
course that is what you want. I always wanted to be the heel anyways).
Thank you for the article. This is easily the best view on the Angle situation that I have seen thus far. You hit the nail on the head with this. Kurt Angle is a grown man and grown men are able to make choices of what matters most to them. If Kurt Angle feels that professional wrestling is important enough to him to take the risk then let him fucking do it. I for one will always be willing to pay money to watch Angle perform as long as he is willing to give me my money's worth. Great article and definitely something that needed to be said.
When you can answer those questions, you may regain some of the credibility you so casually squandered in your egotistical quests of mock concern.
Aaaand just like that, your inbox becomes a river of flame, I expect.
I'm sorry, but my concern for Kurt Angle's health is genuine. I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I am seriously concerned that a man who's been depicted in recent weeks as being completely out of touch with the reality of his situation -- the supposition that he sustained three separate injuries in his final match hasn't been disputed by anyone, only downplayed -- well, the fact that he's attempting to go on, when he has a wife and children to think about, is unfathomable to me. And before you ask, *I* didn't diagnose any of this. I'm mainly going on the word of your site's chief wrestling editor, Mister Csonka, who seems to know what the hell he's talking about. (Although I can cite the case of my stepfather, who got into an auto accident eight years ago, smacking against the windshield of his car in basically an 'exposed-head-piledriver' injury, but it was just the one. He hasn't been cleared by his doctors for a part-time desk job yet. Still, probably apples and oranges, I'll admit.) But as for your political philosophy about 'people (you) don't know' deciding 'when (you) work, where (you) work, and for how long (you) work' being contrary to your beliefs... while I agree with you that it's not up to me, or you, or Larry Csonka, or Scott Keith, or anyone but Kurt Angle, to decide for Kurt when and where Kurt can work, there really is a good chance that Kurt Angle's lost the ability to objectively decide if he's capable of being a professional wrestler anymore.
This was actually why I came around on the idea of Kurt competing in the UFC, to tell you the truth. Specifically, that in the UFC, there's a strong safety net of people who can stop a competitor from getting grievously injured, from the several states' Athletic Commissions -- the Nevada SAC was actually going to stop Forrest Griffin from competing in the semis in TUF because of a cut, you may recall -- to Big John McCarthy and the other refs, who can stop a fight whenever they think someone's in trouble. Whereas, if Kurt Angle thinks he can wrestle a match, and Jeff Jarrett, Vince Russo and Dutch Mantell agree with him (and the bookers can't be that objective, seeing as their plans go down the tubes if one of their wrestlers doesn't wrestle), he can go out there, throw a suplex, land on his hasn't-been-healthy-in-years neck as many times as he wants ... just like Evander Holyfield can step into any boxing ring in any state that hasn't banned him yet, and proceed to get his brain turned into a Slurpee, because he thinks he can still compete.
But I guess you're right. I have no right to care about what another human being does to himself, no matter what could possibly happen to him. And I guess I should just force myself not to care ... but if all the other Cassandras and I turn out to be right, and they're ringing Kurt's final ten-count in the Impact Zone, or even if he's rolling out on the stage in a wheelchair, with or without the use of his arms, I'll know that he brought it on himself and his family, and I'll still care. Maybe in the same way that Terry Funk feels about Curt Hennig (in his autobiography, he talks about how pissed he is at Curt because "he did that to his family"), but I'll still care.
From the latest Figure 4 Weekly:
"WWE at one point had to hire handlers to get him to buildings since
he was unable to do so on his own."
Awesome column on Angle.
Couldn't agree more.
Bunch of silly, hypocritical, self-righteous goofballs bashing TNA for
signing Angle.
Personal responsibility > babysitting.
Keep it up dude.
After reading both Csonka's and your article, I'm even more torn about this whole Kurt Angle joining TNA then I was before.
To be honest, this is probably the biggest signing pro wrestling has seen in years. We haven't seen anything this big since the Monday Night Wars in my opinion. It's a tremendous sucess for TNA as it shows that they can draw the biggest of the WWE's stars to their promotion.
But then you just run into the question of was it right. From a business stand point, absolutely. Release someone as big as Angle and of course someone is going to try to pick him right back up. TNA handled the whole announcement great, and Angle is going to make them a lot of money. He's a legitimate draw for their promotion, especially with the possibility of some of the match-ups he can have.
Then you look at Kurt's current physical condition. I do somewhat question it, simply because of the fact that he was released from the WWE. Any other promotion would be insane to let a talent like Angle go. He was one of their biggest stars and they were counting on him to help get the new ECW over. You don't just fire someone like Kurt Angle because they failed a drug test or aren't going to rehab. It leads me to believe that there must have been some serious concern that WWE management had that they would forfeit Angle's contract like that. Then again, if one wants to play the WWE is looking out for Angle's best interests and he's completely insane would have to wonder why they would just throw him out there. If they cared about him as much as some say, then why just let him go where he can do more harm to himself rather then watch him closely under your own curtain? It does almost seem like what ever issues that Angle had, the WWE didn't want to have to deal with it.
Then TNA picks him up. Evil, heartless, business practice? To pick up an incredibly hot free agent, who is going to make you a lot of money? That's not an evil business practice, that's a common one. And who says that TNA is immediately going to throw Angle in the ring with the likes of Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, or Christopher Daniels? Suppose TNA doesn't want to play the evil corporation role? Suppose they only signed Angle with a promise that he'll heal himself before getting into serious competition? Honestly, we don't know. It's easy to condemn TNA based on the evidence that we've seen of Angle's condition over the past few months. But I somehow can't believe that TNA management (who I'm sure is well aware of Angle's current state of health) would just sign him and not give a damn about whether he gets crippled in their ring or not.
And like you said, Angle is a grown man. For better or worse, he makes his own choices in life. No one at any point made him sign the TNA contract. And the ultimate fact remains, though I think a lot of people forget it: Professional wrestling is a dangerous profession. When ever someone steps into the ring there's always a chance, no matter how slim that there will be a slip-up and someone is going to end up paralyzed or worse. Even at 100% there's still a chance that Angle could die in a match say on a botched suplex or any kind of bump gone wrong. Granted, as long as the performers know what they're doing the chance remains slim, but its still there.
I've got no Kurt Angle death pool with my friends, but at the same time I am worried. I can't help but question why the WWE would let him go if they didn't have serious concerns. Anyway, that's all just my take on this situation. I enjoyed both articles on both viewpoints. And it did stop and make me think. But right now, I think the ball's in TNA's court to decide how well Angle's new run there is going to be.
Great article about Kurt, JD.
don't completely agree with it as I don't think there's anything wrong
with people preferring to see their heroes live to a ripe old age
(Flair) rather than die at an absurdly young age (Eddie, Davey Boy,
Hennig et al ad nauseum), but the essential point that no one can make
the decision except Kurt himself (and, you would hope, his family) is of
course spot on.
It is tough to decide what and how to feel about this. People are still
scarred by what happened to Eddie less than a year ago (I know I am) and
to think that it could never happen to Kurt is of course ridiculously
naiive - at the same time, it might not happen and he might wrestle
comfortably for the next 5 years without any problems. I'd rather he had
taken a proper break for a year or so and got himself properly rested.
I'd like to have seen him replace the King on Raw in that time (although
as that would never happen, at least become a 3rd man on commentary, and
put King to shame) or maybe started his own stable as a heel manager, or
even become the commissioner of Raw. Yet, I won't be a hypocrite. Living
in England it's difficult to keep up with TNA, but we do get the shows
and now i will be making a proper effort to watch them because, apart
from Eddie, no one else can get me off my seat like Kurt Angle can. I
imagine too that all the people complaining will be glued to their sets
when Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle have what should be an absolutely awesome
feud (Russo permitting).
Keep up the good work - would rather see more of this kind of article
from you than the Breakdowns which i always feel would benefit from a
bit more comment rather than reporting.
You, sir, are a disgrace, and one of the reasons that the world is in the
state it is today. How DARE you promote a person making a decision that
could injure or kill them, even if, as you say, "he's a fully grown man"?
You won't be happy until Kurt's head goes bouncing into the fifth row of the
Impact Zone after an especially rough Olay! kick from Samoa Joe. That's
where he's headed, if AJ Styles doesn't break him in half with the Styles
Clash first -- haven't you ever seen "Celebrity Deathmatch"?!?
I think that Kurt needs us to save him from himself. He's obviously not
going to do it. In fact, there are a number of other wrestlers that need our
help:
- Ric Flair. What is an eighty-year-old man doing in the ring? He could have
a heart attack, or break a hip, or loose his bowels in the ring. At very
least, get the man some Depends. And a bra.
- Triple H. His nose is a danger to himself and everyone that gets in the
ring with him. If he were to break that thing, we'd be seeing such a
shortage of gauze and plaster that the world may never recover.
- Scott Steiner. He's one pin prick away from deflating like a balloon in
the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
- Shark Boy. For only a nickel a day, you can guarantee that he will never
job again.
- Jeff Jarrett. Think about all of the poor children who have to go without
music because this son of a bitch keeps breaking all of the guitars. THINK
ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!
- Boogeyman. I know he left the WWE, but we can only pray that TNA doesn't
pick him up. The man is sustaining himself on worms. He needs a better
paying job!
- Shawn Michaels. C'mon, he already lost his smile. Do you want him to lose
it again?!?
Mr Dunn, you have a responsibility as a member of the Internet Wrestling
Community to protect wrestlers from making decisions that are right for
them. I REFUSE to read another one of your columns until you fix the
horrible thing that you have done with this one, and petition WWE and TNA to
STOP LETTING THEIR WRESTLERS WRESTLE (Wrestling has lead to more
Wrestling-related injuries than anything else). Freedom of Choice? Only if
we in the IWC approve that choice.
Thank you, |
|
And we're rolling... - 09.04.2006
Well, it is labor day. Ha ha! Ha heh. Oooh. Yeah, that sucked, but it's an interesting read about an important recent topic.
Dr. Drew Pinsky
I am a huge advocate of the morning after pill. I feel it really is one of our best options to help eliminate -- or at least reduce -- unwanted pregnancies and abortions.
The problem is that there is a great lack of understanding about how this pill works. People tend to confuse it with RU486 -- the true abortion pill. RU486 is now available in our country and it does, in fact, cause an abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy.
While I am in favor of the law of the land and I’m glad women have choice, I am very uncomfortable with abortion. If the morning after pill worked by impairing implantation or causing an abortion, I would not be such a strong advocate of it.
It turns out that the morning after pill -- or emergency contraception -- works exactly the same way as the daily birth control pill. There is really no difference whatsoever. The morning after pill is basically a double dosage of contraception used within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse. The daily contraceptive pill that many women take suppresses an egg from being released by an ovary. Hence, there can never be fertilization. However, there is a small risk that an ovulation could occur, and if it does, there is also a small risk that the pill could impede implantation of that fertilized egg.
For reasons I cannot understand, activists have chosen to attack the morning after pill form of contraception, believing that its primary mechanism is impairing implantation of a fertilized egg. This cannot be further from the truth.
If people wanted to attack emergency contraception based on its scientific mechanism of action, in order to be philosophically consistent they would also have to work to eliminate all forms of the pill and a couple of anti-inflammatory drugs -- Vioxx and Celebrex -- which also tend to have some effect on implantation.
It seems to me that if we are all interested in helping advocate on behalf of the health of our young people, we should be urging that they have this pill available, and of course that they use appropriate contraception and don’t take risks. But at least they know what their options are, should a mistake occur. We should also be strongly urging adoption as an option for those who do get pregnant.
As to whether the presence of emergency contraception would increase promiscuity, there is simply no evidence of this. The American Medical Women’s Association likens it to keeping a fire extinguisher in your kitchen. Does the presence of a fire extinguisher mean you’re going to torch your food? No, of course you’re not planning to have a fire, but if you do, you’re grateful that the extinguisher is there.
Furthermore, there is no evidence that educating young people about contraception methods increases their promiscuity. Rather, helping them understand themselves as sexual beings, teaching them to achieve interpersonal health, and helping them to negotiate what they want from a relationship has a much higher impact on the healthy choices they will make for the rest of their lives. |
|
And we're rolling... - 09.02.2006
From David Warren of The Ottawa Citizen:
The case of the two Fox News journalists, held hostage in Gaza, is worth dwelling upon. . . .
The degree to which our starch is awash is exhibited in the behaviour of so many of our captives, but especially in these two. They were told to convert to Islam under implicit threat (blindfolded and hand-tied, they could not judge what threat), and agreed to make the propaganda broadcasts to guarantee their own safety. That much we can understand, as conventional cowardice. (Understand; not forgive.) But it is obvious from their later statements that they never thought twice; that they could see nothing wrong in serving the enemy, so long as it meant they'd be safe. . . .
I assume they are not Christians (few journalists are), but had they ever been instructed in that faith, they might have grasped that conversion to Islam means denial of Christ, and that is something many millions of Christians (few of them intellectuals) have refused to do, even at the cost of excruciating deaths . . .
And the two Fox journalists, whom I will not stoop to name, begged for their lives even though, in retrospect, their lives probably weren't in danger. . . . Men without chests, men without character, men who don't think twice. |
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| full blog | |
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