Memoirs of a Geisha is beautifully photographed, no doubt. The cramped urban landscape evokes the ambience a western audience would expect from Japan in the late 1920s to world war two. Natives bump into each other on the street like the videos of Japanese business men being crammed on the subway that circulates the net. Geisha’s pour sake with the care of a mother setting down her new born. Men are probed with flattering questions that are theoretical enough to cause a “Huh, how ‘bout that?” but simple enough to avoid thinking too hard. It all looks like how we want to remember the place and time.

The story isn’t half bad either. I cared about the ultimate fate of Ziyi Zhang’s Sayuri, and the abnormally high number of puffy balls of blue hair that dotted the audience cared as well. The characters speak English, which ruined my suture at moments, but I wanted to see how our protagonist would end up with the rich businessman. If I can believe Hitler spoke English in Max I can accept the magical movie Japan where English is the native language.

The movie is technically good, but I can’t help but think about the way we interpret the narrative as a love story and coo at the appropriate ending. Without spoiling any of the obvious plot points, certain Geisha’s feel certain feelings for certain client’s. Eventually, some of these certain Geisha’s end up with their certain favorite clients, and are sponsored. This doesn’t mean much more than waiting on the client and acting as a mistress. The final voiceover states that this is the most a Geisha can want. We don’t care if a Geisha can want more because the relationship between certain client’s and certain rich businessman are meant to make us feel what we are supposed to feel at the end of an American movie: Awww.

The life of Sayuri is romanticized, despite her constant challenges and misfortunes, and makes us forget about a few things.

1) Sayuri was sold by her father and separated from her sister before she turned 10. She saw her sister only once, very briefly, as they planned an escape from the world of Geisha and prostitution.

2) Sayuri’s virginity was auctioned off. I believe the euphemism used in the film was “untouched cave.” There was also something about an eel in there.

3) As impressive as the village looked, it was cramped with what seemed like hundreds of thousand’s of people. There were miles of nothing but back-to-back houses, with streets packed with all sorts of seedy characters.

4) Geisha’s walk on very uncomfortable shoes, and spend their days stroking the ego’s of men who make more money in a week than I will in my lifetime.

In other words, we want to believe that the world of a geisha is hot shit. Even though the women who practice this custom are bought and sold at a young age, and rented for years to come, and even though your virginity can be auctioned off.

And we’re talking about the cinematography, or the subtle character development. (I’m not referring to the reviews on this site, by the way, but rather the general attitude of critics and the public.)

What do I think about this?

Well, thanks for asking. I think this attitude is a reflection of our tendency to view foreign cultures represented in American cinema with rose tinted glasses. Just think about that for a second.

"Yeah, I’m not a fan of the whoring, but they do things differently overseas and I have to respect that. It’s a totally different culture and we, the West, don’t have to understand."

True, but think of the way we treat prostitution in North America. I cannot legally walk down a street in America, outside of Vegas, and pick me up a nice hooker. On the flip side, I think I’m the only one in the world who realizes that a girl’s virginity was auctioned off in Memoirs of a Geisha.

I have nothing against prostitution. In fact, I know women who enjoy doing it. In fact, I think the government should do something – anything – to make it safe for these women to do their jobs. Similarly, I have nothing against the Geisha profession. If a woman enjoys walking in uncomfortable shoes while acting interested in corporate men for money, that’s wonderful for her. My point is that it says something about us when we celebrate the oldest profession in a historical Japanese context, and condemn the same profession in America.

I also think it’s telling that the American’s come during peace time and make the Japanese men who partake in the Geisha’s look like gentleman. Sure, it may be a little irking to see the virginity auction (which I come back to again and again, I know, I know) but watching rich American’s introduce themselves as "Name. How much?" puts things in perspective. The Japanese men get off on giving respect to their hired women. But there is still that discrepancy in the way the professions are treated.

And what does that discrepancy means? After all of this, I have to say that I don’t know. But it’s there, god damn it, and it means something.

In other news, Karla, the film about the brutal sex slayings by Paul Bernardo and Karla Hamolka, is hitting theatres in Canada January 20th. TV spots are starting this week and the press is all over it. If you have the means, give it a gander. I sure will and will have a review here at 411. Come back for that… like you would ever leave.