The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report: 04.01.09

Posted by Steve Sullivan on 04.01.2009

It's the last week before Wrestlemania and Smackdown is missing an announcer, Vince wanted someone else to win Money In The Bank, Don West told to tone it down and a complete Happy-Go-Sucky preview of Wrestlemania 25!

Welcome my friends to one of the final stops in our pilgrimage as we march toward the holy land that is Wrestlemania.

This is that time of year where when you say you are a wrestling fan, people don't roll their eyes at you or remind you that it's fake, but ask you your opinion on who will win this year's Money In The Bank Ladder Match or will someone actually beat The Undertaker?

Suddenly, all your friends are gathering around your television and remembering the good ole days of the Monday Night War, when wrestling "was good".

Wives and lives are put on hold for a few hours. Babysitters are heavily employeed and pizza places make millions.

This is the insanity that is Wrestlemania. And I'm happy to be a part of my 3rd Wrestlemania with 411mania.com.

Also a big thanks to Ryan for covering me last week with short notice while I recovered from a nasty little bug that was going around.

Anyway, I'm going to do a couple things different this week. Since it IS Wrestlemania week, I figured it was about that time to start talking about this year's card! But first, a few things happening around the wrestling world that we should talk about. Cue banner!



News: Tazz has left the WWE.

Happy: File this one under the "Where Did That Come From?" category! I don't think anyone was expecting to see someone walk out of the company just days before Wrestlemania!

The good you can take out of this story is that Tazz is doing this for Tazz. Not for more money. Not because he's pissed at the company. But because he wants to "recharge his batteries". When you think about it, Tazz has been commentating for a longer run than both JR and Jerry Lawler, who both have either quit or been fired a couple times since 2000. Tazz started commentating on Heat back in 2000 and became a full time announcer for Smackdown once Raw and Smackdown split into two separate shows.

After 9 years, and an even longer wrestling career, it sounds like Tazz has come down with a case of the burnouts. And you can't blame the guy. He hardly ever missed a show. He never complained. He never got involved with the drama. Tazz was a full time professional for the WWE and a company man thru and thru and deserves to take a little time off.

On top of that, we get the prospect of a new color commentator to work along side with J.R. Which of course, my first instinct would be to go with Matt Striker. However, I just don't think it would be a good idea for the WWE to split up Striker and Grisham, who are working so well together. Striker is obviously the best candidate but the commentary has been the only bright spot for ECW for the last few months now.

However, if the WWE were to move Matt Striker over to Smackdown and leave a hole in the ECW booth, the WWE could look to none other than Al Snow to fill in the color commentary role. Al Snow did color commentary for OVW for years. Al Snow brings "Original ECW" history and storylines with him that could be a big part of the broadcast. The WWE released him when they parted ways with OVW as a developmental territory a couple years ago, so I don't think that's a stretch.

Rumor has it that JBL may retire with the IC Title at Wrestlemania (which is supposed to be his big super surprise). If that were the case, then the door is open for JBL to return to the broadcast booth where he did a fantastic job with commentary a couple years ago. Something to keep in mind with JBL though is that the guy was ready to quit that color commentary job several times to focus on his own ventures. Now of course, JBL has launched Layfield Energy AND has invested his money into Ohio Valley Wrestling. JBL also stated that once his in ring career was over, he may consider heading up OVW. So JBL isn't as done of a deal as others think, but I'll agree with most, I'd love to see him back at that desk alongside JR.

Here's another idea. What if the WWE decided to actually hire a female to do color commentary? Has that ever been done by a major wrestling company? That would be revolutionary. Get someone in there like Sunny alongside JR or even Todd Grisham and let a woman give her point of view about the sport. Now that's a stretch, but certainly a different idea.

The WWE must really be kicking themselves for letting Scotty Goldman/Colt Cabana go now.

Go Sucky: The bad part here for Tazz is that he abandoned the WWE right before Wrestlemania. Tazz taped Smackdown this week and will be on Friday. Yet come Sunday, Smackdown will be without a color commentator, forcing the WWE to find a replacement for an important position on their most important show. That may hurt his chances of returning at some point if he chooses to.

The best thing the WWE can do here is to not rush things. A lot of the matches consist of multi band matches, so for Raw and Smackdown matches, JR, Lawler, and Cole should all team up and cover all the matches while Striker and Grisham take care of ECW, if ECW even manages to get a match on the card. Rushing someone in to do their very first color commentary at Wrestlemania 25 could be disastrous.

News: The Big Show was originally scheduled to win this year's Money In The Bank Ladder Match.

Happy: Talk about another shocker! I wouldn't even expect that ladder to hold up The Big Show. Isn't there like a 500 pound limit on those things? The fact of the matter here is that The Big Show WON'T be in this match, which is probably a good thing. Guys like Kane, Finlay, and Mark Henry in this match are already a stretch and really hurt the match quality when they can't keep up with the younger, more agile guys.

It seems to me, and this is just my opinion, but every storyline The Big Show is in (especially when he's a heel), just seems stale or boring. Take this year's World Heavyweight Title match at Wrestlemania. Are you as excited about Edge vs. Cena vs. Big Show as you are for Triple H vs. Randy Orton or The Money In The Bank Ladder Match? Even when Big Show was ECW Champion, things just got…boring.

The Big Show just doesn't seem comfortable as a heel. I think a kid friendly face turn could do wonders not just for The Big Show, but for the main event for either Raw or Smackdown.

By the way, if you're The Big Show, no matter if you job out to Edge and Cena, your paycheck just DOUBLED as a Wrestlemania main eventer.

Go Sucky: Vince decided to do this because Edge vs. Cena has been "overdone". Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

If you KNOW your main event at Wrestlemania has been overdone, then WHY THE HELL DO IT AT ALL????

Are you telling me that Chris Jericho HAD to wrestle Snuka, Piper, and Steamboat? Are you telling me that couldn't have been booked differently to get a midcarder over at ‘Mania? Does Rey Mysterio and C.M. Punk have to stay on the midcard their whole careers?

Poor, poor planning on your part Vinnie Mac! Hopefully this will be a lesson to the WWE that you can't just keep pushing Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, The Undertaker, and Edge as the main event for every single month for 5 years straight!


News: The Edmonton Sun reported a story where Christian was quoted as saying "I felt if I wanted to be on top, the WWE was where I had to be."

Happy: I'm really glad that Christian came back to the WWE instead of sticking around in TNA. I'm gladder that he left both companies with an open door policy. You don't always get that with wrestlers or wrestling companies these days.

A lot of people keep telling me that Vince doesn't like Christian and that Christian won't ever get a push higher than the midcard. But I have to disagree. Christian was pretty much a Godsend to TNA. He started a movement to bring other former midcarders from the WWE to TNA (which depending on how you feel about it, you may or may not like).

I don't think he would have left TNA if he were only promised a mediocre, mid card career. Christian has the athleticism, the personality, and the fan base to be the next main eventer for the WWE and it's only a matter of time before we see that come true.

Go Sucky: I don't think it was wise for Christian to pretty much play down TNA as second rate. Let's be honest, TNA revived Christian's career. Before coming to TNA, you were all right. He was destined to be a curtain jerking midcarder. Without his TNA World Title runs, I don't think Christian would be as popular as he is with hardcore wrestling fans such as the IWC.

If the WWE begins burying Christian into the midcard, which would be hard to believe given they've put him in one of their signature matches at Wrestlemania, but if they did, Christian may have to eat some crow, especially if TNA catches wind that he believes they are second rate.


News: TNA has toned down the new Don West character.

Happy: I'm glad they are just toning him down but I'm glad they are keeping him heel. The situation here is that TNA feels that they "crossed a line" that shouldn't have been crossed with Don. So Don is only going to go crazy when the faces do something stupid, which is usually every 15 minutes or so.

I do like the new Don West. I like having him give Mike Tenay a hard time. He's caught so much hell from TNA fans for being so overly babyface. Having him run with a little attitude, and giving people that old school wrestling feel from when guys like Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, and Jerry Lawler all gave a heel perspective form the announce booth.

Go Sucky: Why would they feel that Don West was "crossing a line"? I really didn't see anything wrong with his character. The whole leaving the booth thing was getting annoying and Mike Tenay claiming he constantly smelled of alcohol was probably a bit much. But it was different. I liked Don West showing a bad ass side of himself to the IWC and all of his critics. TNA just wouldn't sound like TNA without Don West and his raspy over exaggerations.


Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestlemania 25 Preview!

Since this is the last Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report before Wrestlemania, I figured it's about time we talk about the Wrestlemania card! Better late than never!

25 Diva Battle Royale

This match is intriguing for one reason. Who will fill the remaining slots out of the 18 divas we saw on Raw last night? That's about the only reason people should be excited about this match. And there's not much more to fill. The WWE announced that 4 of those remaining slots will be filled by Sunny, Torrie Wilson, Sunny, and Victoria. Wendy Richter and Lita have both turned down slots. So my guess is that it leaves Trish Stratus and probably Santino, which is really just an awful decision if it happens. I'd rather have Mae Freakin' Young in the match.

For the last few weeks, the WWE has made a mockery out of the Women's division. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about some Santino Marella comedy. But the idea of him actually getting into this match and WINNING and being called MISS WRESTLEMANIA not only damages Santino's career, but it damages your women's division as a whole.

The title of Miss Wrestlemania should be used to push over a FEMALE talent that is going to be a part of the WWE roster AFTER Wrestlemania is over. I think someone like Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, or even Jillian Hall could benefit from a push as "Miss Wrestlemania" into their character.

The worst part is, with 25 talented divas in the match, I'd only expect this match to last about 4 minutes, if that.

Match Quality Prediction: Go Sucky


Money in the Bank Ladder Match

A couple of weeks ago I told everyone that I believed that Christian was the clear cut favorite and nobody else would come close to winning. After writing that, I watched ECW and suddenly, I started leaning toward MVP and that idea was reassured after he won the US Title from Shelton Benjamin. But after reading that news about The Big Show earlier, this match has taken a totally different twist with me.

It's impossible to tell, but if the WWE is still aiming its efforts at having a big man win the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, then it would appear that Kane may be the guy they are looking to now. Which might not be so bad. Kane has always been a great heel. Yet I'm not sure if the WWE with its new "PG" programming would work well with a crazy, chaotic Kane, but we'll see. Besides, if there's one guy in this group who deserves a moment in the spotlight of Wrestlemania, it's Kane.

This match is almost always the match of the night if not the year. So regardless of who wins, it will be a treat.

Match Quality Prediction: Happy


Chris Jericho vs Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka, and Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair

I think a lot of people disappointed themselves with this match. I think a lot of fans had big star power in mind with the likes of guys like Stone Cold and Hulk Hogan. But I feel that no matter how you look at it, the talent is right on half this match, but not the other half.

The half that's NOT right is Chris Jericho. Snuka, Piper and Steamboat all deserve their moment in the sun at Wrestlemania. But I feel that the WWE could have done so much better with the main events of Wrestlemania had they included Chris Jericho in the match. I think if you take out The Big Show and put in Jericho vs. Edge vs. Cena, the match gets doubly exciting, watching the two biggest heels take on the biggest face. THAT'S a Wrestlemania main event.

I think a future talent could have benefited from being in Jericho's place. Someone like Jack Swagger, who's being billed as the "future" of the company, yet as of Tuesday, wasn't even on the Wrestlemania card. Better yet, what about Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase? Why not have them follow in Orton's career path and become "Legend Killers"?

Jericho did not need this match and the WWE only did it to capitalize on the media frenzy about a movie that has nothing to do with the WWE. It turns out the movie flopped at the Academy Awards and Mickey Rourke isn't even interested in being a part of the show other than being at the show for a "photo op".

Barring a memorable run in from someone like Stone Cold or Hogan or Rourke going apeshit on Jericho, this won't be as fun as it could have been.

Match Quality Prediction: Go Sucky


Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy - Extreme Rules

This is going to be an amazing match. Both of these guys are due a Wrestlemania moment and I believe they will both get it at this year's Wrestlemania.

Without the Extreme Rules factor in this match, I don't think I'd be as excited about this match. For a whole year now, Jeff Hardy has had his personal issues thrown in his face. How many times has someone talked about Jeff's house burning down or poor Jack? But nothing gets more personal when those words come out of your own brother. And for that, this match has more meaning than any other match on the card, including Triple H vs. Randy Orton.

I wouldn't be surprised to see this match get thrown out. As in, nobody wins. Something crazy is going to happen. Jeff Hardy is basically going to kill himself jumping off the Titantron or something. That's a given with Hardy and Extreme Rules.

Wrestlemania won't likely be the end of this feud. The WWE is going to need a big draw for Backlash, and this should be it.

Match Quality Prediction: Happy

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

I wish this were for a title. The match is going to be great enough as it is. These two guys always show up for Wrestlemania and have been long overdue to duke it out on the grand stage.

I have to say though; I'm getting tired of wrestlers challenging The Undertaker "just because they want to end the streak". Is this something we're going to have to deal with every year until someone actually beats him? If the streak is broken, can the WWE actually make it live up to the hype that it's drawn upon itself?

I think the WWE has done a great job at getting people to believe that Shawn Michaels has The Undertaker's number. But there's no way in hell the streak ends here. By the time the bell rings, The Undertaker will be 17-0 and we'll have a Match Of The Year candidate.

Match Quality Prediction: Happy


The Miz and John Morrison vs. Carlito and Primo Colon - Lumberjack Match - WWE and World Tag Team Championship Unification Match

I really hate that they are unifying the tag titles. This signifies the death of tag team wrestling in the WWE. For the time being anyway. Regardless, it's a good way to send one set of titles out. These two tag teams are the best tag team in the WWE right now. Yeah Rhodes and Dibiase are good, but they are otherwise occupied at the moment.

Perhaps the WWE could use the lumberjacks as a way of getting another tag team or two over at Wrestlemania as well by getting involved in the match. It's doubtful but it's a thought.

The chemistry between Miz and Morrison and the Colons is entertaining. They have actually made me care enough to watch Smackdown every week to see who does what to whom next. This rivalry could defiantly benefit from chasing one

JBL (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - Intercontinental Championship

It's been a LONG time since the Intercontinental Title has been defended at Wrestlemania. Which is why it's VERY important that this match be good. A good IC Title match will hopefully mean more IC Title Matches at Wrestlemania in the future.

The rumor here is that JBL is going to defend the title, then retire as champion, which will likely open up a tournament for the IC Title the next week on Raw. Which is kind of anti climatic to say the least given all of JBL's hype of doing something "historic".

This is Rey's first Wrestlemania since winning the World Heavyweight Title a couple years ago against Kurt Angle and Randy Orton. A couple of injuries has kept Rey from being at Wrestlemania the last couple of years. Another title win at Wrestlemania for Rey may boost his character a bit and get him back into the main event spotlight.

Despite the history of them wrestling yet tiven the clash of styles of wrestling, I'll expect this to be a bit of a messy match. Depending on JBL's "bombshell" news, this will likely be a forgettable match.

Match Quality Prediction: Go Sucky

Edge (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show - Triple Threat Match - World Heavyweight Championship

I have to agree with Vince when he said that Edge and Cena has been done to death. Nonetheless, these two work great together and always put on a great match. They put on a 30 minute classic just a few weeks ago when Edge got himself DQ'd to retain the title. Throwing Big Show into the mix though just gives me a feeling of "sloppyness", which is probably an awful term to use given the storyline.

I wouldn't expect anything spectacular out of this match. It will probably go on for awhile with the Big Show taking a nap outside the ring for awhile. Interestingly enough, with the news that Big Show was apparently going to win this year's Money In The Bank ladder match, I wouldn't be surprised to see the big man pull it off and win the big one.

Quality wise, as I said, it will pretty much be a 1-on-1 match until The Big Show wakes up from a chair shot of some sort on the outside of the ring. Edge and Cena have a great chemistry and with the Vicki saga in the mix, I'd expect a shocking ending. So I think we're in for a pleasant treat.

Match Quality Prediction: Happy

Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton - WWE Championship

This is going to be the match that everyone remembers down the line. The WWE has made this a memorable feud. Similar to Cena and Edge, at one point I would have said that Orton vs. Triple H had been played out. But there's so much history involved and it hasn't been done in so long that it actually is fresh again.

My only problem with this match is that it's so personal and so involved with family, that it's often forgotten that the match is for the WWE title. This match could have happened without the title and would have got the WWE plenty of buys. The title match could have been used to make this card even heavier and better.

Quality wise, it's going to be perfect. I don't think anyone knows what's going to happen with the outcome of this match. Last night prior to the main event, I had written down a thought that involved Vince and Shane coming back at Wrestlemania and swerving everyone and joining up with Orton. Perhaps Stephanie will do it instead? Regardless, this will be a match people will be talking about and reliving at Wrestlemania 50.

Match Quality Prediction: Happy

Wrestlemania 25 Quality Prediction: Happy

Overall, this Wrestlemania 25 looks to be a lot more solid than Wrestlemania 24. I don't think it will be the greatest Wrestlemania of all time, but it will be worth the 50 or 60 bucks it costs to buy Wrestlemania. The WWE has did a good job on MOST of its storylines, but I think they could have done a lot better with others.

And with that my friends, I'm outta here. Enjoy this week. This is our week as wrestling fans. Until next week, may your lives, and Wrestlemania 25 be Happy…or Go Sucky!